People Can Be Kind...

[GypsyKaren]

...if you let them. One of the things we learn during the RLT is how to go about the everyday matter of things as our correct gender, and how to deal with others reactions to us while we do that. I know at first I was very nervous about it, because it sure doesn't take a wild imagination to know that people can be very cruel, and who wants that in their face everytime they go to the store?

The thing that has really surprised me during my time is that I have found it to be the complete opposite, just about everyone has gone out of their way to be kind to me. I think it's basic human nature for most to want to be nice, especially when you give that to them first. I smile at everyone I come into contact with, I always tell them to have a nice day, and they appreciate that and return it to me. A smile can be so disarming because it lets people know right away that you're not a threat, and I'm always smiling because it feels so wonderful now that Karen can be Karen, so I try to spread my joy to others.

Yesterday I went to LensCrafters because it was time for stronger glasses, that getting old business ya know. Of course I had to show them my male I.D. to get my records, and I mentioned that I was going for my name change hearing next week. The first thing she said was "Well, we'll just update your files now right with your real name then, and I'll just call you Karen from now on." I was just going to get new lenses put in my frame because I liked them, but she said "You're getting to be a new you, so it's also time for a new look, and yours make you look older." So she showed me some I really liked and saw her point, and then went shopping while they made them up.

So I came back after an hour or so, and after I put them on she gave me a great big smile, said how great I looked, and then she starts yelling out to the other employees "Hey everybody, come over here and check out Karen's new look!" And don't ya know, they all came over with big smiles and complimented me, I never felt so special in my life! The funny thing about it was that I used to be so nervous when being noticed, and now I was the center of attention in a store packed with customers, and I was beaming like a flashlight, even one of the other customers told me she liked my new look. How cool is that?

So to those of you who are just starting to go out or are thinking about it, but are to nervous, just do it. Go about your day with a smile on your face and in your heart, you'll find it's really easy to do because you're getting to be yourself, and you just can't beat that. Happiness and joy has a way of spreading, so maybe someone you spread it to will think of you at the end of the day, and smile.

Karen

[uknowhoo]

Reading that just brought a small tear of joy to my eye, Karen. :hugs: What a touching story, sweetie. I am sooooo very happy for you, my friend. xoxo T

[Joy Carter]

:happy: and a :hugs: for you sweety.

[Sandra]

It's things like this that makes you realise not all of Joe public are the same there is some nice people out there :). As for smiling I totaly agree it's amazing what affect a smile can do.

[Katrina]

That's great, Karen! It gives the rest of us hope that someday we can be accepted in society if we have the guts to take the first few steps. You are an inspiration to us all!

[MoonBaby GG]

You put a *glimmer* in my heart that folks might be nice to Karen on her first outing. Thank you. :hugs:

[Michelle Ellis]

You're right, that is so cool Karen, brought a tear to my eye too. The RLT has always seemed like such a cruel and torturous thing... so nice to hear such a great story like yours.

M

[kerrianna]

That's a sweet and inspring story Karen. Thanks for sharing it. :hugs: The image of you beaming in the store just made my day. :happy:

I think the fact you are a sweetheart, a kind and caring and smiley person makes all the difference. You're right. People are nice at core, they want to be nice, and if you shine for them you are like a magnet.

I know from working in retail for years that the people who beamed warmth and sincerity while in my store were the ones who always made my day. They could have been Klingon (:heehee: well, an unusual Klingon lol) but what made me want to bend over backwards to help them and make a human connection was how they were with me. You just can't help seeing to the core of people like you, because that's where warm connection is made. People who can't or won't make that connection have their own issues, but sometimes that relentless smiling face and respect and courtesy can melt even them.

Keep spreading your love and happiness girl! :love:

[sparks]

Way to go GK. Awesome tale. Leaves hope for us all.

[Stephenie S]

Can we sticky Karen's post?

This says quite well what I have been trying to say since I arrived on this forum. The world is NOT against us. Almost EVERYONE I have shared my transition with has been encouraging and suportive. Of course we will make some people nervous, but the vast majority of people on this earth are kind. Most of us just want to be left alone to live our lives in peace.

There are four catagories that cover all the different reactions to my transition that I have gotten. A very few think I am insane, a very few think I am immoral, most people just don't care, and quite a few are interested and caring.

And keep smiling. A big "sh*t eatin' grin", a la Karren Hutton, goes a LONG way to smooth our path.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Deborah_UK]

karen,

Congratulations on such a positive reaction and thank you for sharing it.

It certainly helps those of us just starting on the road to realise that the outside world is not full of demons. And while not everything will be positive, it is the uplifting stories like yours that helps ease doubts.

Thank You.

:)

[The Gas Man Cometh]

I am just so happy with society right now.

Your words says a lot about humanity in general, I think.

Always know I am part of that society who loves you all. <3

+Huggles to everyone+ ^_^

[Mariah]

Vary moon lifting story Karen! thanks I need that :)

hopes to you all
keris

[pocoyo]

Awww Karen that's lovely :hugs:
I am so glad that you are so happy and that people are being really nice to you.

You make some great points as well.. for instance...it's basic human nature for most people to want to be nice. It's great to hear that as a positive person myself who often gets negativity/misunderstanding whacked in his face by others.

I think you are right. And I love what you said about smiling at people to disarm them, and let them know you're not a threat.

Excellent. Keep smiling!

Thanks for sharing your uplifting story with us.

[Siobhan Marie]

Karen, thank you so much for sharing that with us. Reading stories like yours give me the strength to carry on when things are bad. It also tells me that I will get there, one day. But get there I will. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

:hugs: Anna x

[Calliope]

As much as it bugs the commie in me, I agree free market encounters can be a real lifeline. A safe milieu, all the clerks and servicepeople are trained, after all, to caress the customer, whoever he / she may be. So, yes!

Nice new photo, dear!

[claireswife-gg]

That's so cool to hear Karen! We just moved to Atlanta this weekend and the Ideal Image here (laser hair removal) agreed to change my beloved's account to her "androgynous" name and said "transition is hard enough without being called the wrong name".

People can be pretty wonderful sometimes. And I agree, when you approach people with a positive aura, you tend to get it right back :)

Annie

[Tree GG]

More proof that you get back what you give. You'll obviously have many more wonderful things coming your way. :hugs:

[Ms. Donna]

So to those of you who are just starting to go out or are thinking about it, but are to nervous, just do it. Go about your day with a smile on your face and in your heart, you'll find it's really easy to do because you're getting to be yourself, and you just can't beat that. Happiness and joy has a way of spreading, so maybe someone you spread it to will think of you at the end of the day, and smile.

For all the odd looks I get from the 'man on the street', my interactions with people are by and large quite friendly. In fact, they always were - even when I was doing the crossdressing thing long ago.

Other people pick up on how we act - and if we are all nervous and the like, they will treat us accordingly. If we are comfortable with ourselves, they will likely be comfortable with us as well.

Small example: One morning I went shopping in the grocery store. I gathered what I needed and stood on the checkout line. When the clerk - a middle aged woman - looked up, she said, "Good morning maam - err... sir... umm..."

I told her, "Maam, Sir - what ever works better for you!" and I gave her a smile.

She looked at me and with a big smile said, "Well all right then!" - and that was that. No awkwardness or weirdness - we just chatted away while she rang up my stuff and I packed.


Sure, it can be hard to grow into ourselves. But the return is more than worth the investment.


Regards,
Donna

[GypsyKaren]

Just something I'd like to add here...I ran into one of my old bosses from work today, he retired before I did and had heard about me, I guess I'm a big topic of conversation at the retiree's get togethers. Anyway, he greeted me with a big smile and was glad to see me, we always did get along well. Not only did he say that he was cool with it, but he could already see the change in me personality wise, a big change for the better...made my day!

Karen Starlene

[cindianna_jones]

Karen,

Thanks for posting this. Many of us have followed you along to some degree and have obseved first hand the beautiful woman that you are emerge.

That warmth and caring you have fairly beams in your avatar.

It is little wonder that you received this attention while getting your glasses. People warm up to those who are friendly and happy.

It is a wonderful testament to that which we already know.... there is a wonderful person just waiting to break out in all of us. LET HER GROW!

Cindi

[Sejd]

Hi Karen
thanks for posting that one. That's exactly my own experience. Once a week, I walk into one of our local coffee places and order a cup of coffee. Whenever I am dressed as Sejd, I always get an extra smile, I think because I have that extra smile on myself. Funny isnt it, that when we can truly be ourselves, the world respond very positively. this past Sunday I was sitting with my daughter down by the water on the Seattle harbor, enjoying some fish and chips. Some dude looks over at me with a perplexed look in his eyes. I could see he was thinking : Is that person a male or a female??
I just smiled back at him, and he smiled back to me as well. Proving your theory right.
You got it all right Karen.
hugs :hugs:
Sejd

[Victoria Anne]

Thank you so much for sharing that Karen,it brought a tear to my eye's, it is refreshing to how the kindness that seems to be lost in humanity has resurfaced in some small way.

Viccy

[Crissy Kay]

Oh, thats so nice to hear Karen. Good for you. I am only a part time cd, but find the whole TS issue very interesting. I hope everything goes well for you.