Straight, Gay, or What.......

[janelle]

Hi all,
My ? is since I am becoming more the true me(Janelle), I am finding that I believe I would like to be out with a man. Don't get me wrong I love my wife dearly & want to stay with her(ok in that then I am gay, kind of), yet I have this need to know what it is like to be with a man. Being treated like the queen I sometimes feel I am. Am I alone in wanting to know this side of this devils girl or are there others? Is this also normal for those of us who switch? I know I read somewhere that if straight when you start tranformation, there is like a 95% chance you will stay that way,thus, I should end up by that looking for a man. I am so confused. Does anyone have any insight to this?
Thanks for understanding & for your thoughts. Have a great day sweeties.
:hugs::hugs:,
Janelle

[GypsyKaren]

Don't get me wrong I love my wife dearly & want to stay with her
Janelle

Then that should be the end of the discussion, period. Sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality, and I think that this should be one of those cases, don't you?

Karen

[Toyah]

You really think a guy will treat you well without one thought on his mind get a grip and forget this stupid fantasy

[Stephenie S]

I think Toyah has a pretty realistic view here, don't you? Romance is not what you see in the movies.

If you love your wife, please stick to the straight and narrow. If you don't love your wife, the leave her. But DON"T cheat. That is SO immature and selfish.

Now, you did raise an interesting question. We love our wives and SO. So if we believe we are women, does that make us lesbians? But if we consider ourselves to be straight (because we maintain heterosexual relations with our wives and SO), does that mean that if we transition, we will stay straight and then be attracted to men? Or, will we then become lesbians because we are still atracted to our wives? Or is it that we are secret closet homosexuals because we want to be women to attract men? Why else would one want to dress attractively and be pretty? Whew!

I finesse this question by saying that I am in a commited, loving, monogamous relationship with my wife. Therefor I do not have to even think about this (obviously, though, I have). So I don't really have any answer for you, but it's a good question.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[GypsyKaren]

I get asked about that a lot from people, what does it make me if I ____,just fill in the blank with the label of your choice...let's see now, am I straight, gay, male, female, dalmation? I just tell people that I am a Katsexual, I am attracted to one and only being, my life partner Kat.

Karen

[annekathleen]

If you are in a relationship, by all means, be faithful and DON'T cheat.
If you are single, I believe we should be able to settle our curiosities and experiment. The biggest regrets in life, are the opportunities that we let pass us by.

[janelle]

Thanks, but I hope no one is getting the wrong idea. Yes I love my wife alot & yes that is the end of it, but when seeing my quacks they ask what kind of feelings & emotions I am going thru. So I tell them all this & than they throw it back as to what does that make you & how do you feel about it. I know they are just making sure that all is stable with my 1 little brain cell that I have left.LOL.
I do think it is something we all should think about just because some unknowing person could come up & ask & may not accept that you are totally in love with your spouse.
Thanks again & I hope this does make people think abit. tata.
Janelle

[GypsyKaren]

Hello my dear friend Janelle

I know you wouldn't cheat on your wife because I know you well enough by now, and that's not the kind of person you are. The point I'm trying to make is don't sweat it, there's really no need or reason to come up with such answers when you're already happy and content with someone. My p-doc peppered me with the same questions, like "what if the estrogen gives you the desire to be with men?" Like I said before, I told her I was happy as a clam being a Katsexual, and I'd rather walk the dogs in the rain than be with a man...you take care.

Karen

[MarinaTwelve200]

The dynamics of CD can often fool us into thinking we desire things we REALLY dont---or desire things in a "different way" that we really think.


Some CDs THINK they want to have forced fem, or to become a woman, for example, but when a REAL situation involving the desire happens or threatens to occur one may discover the prospect actually terrifying or unpleasant. The "safe " vicarious experience in fantasy may be a turn on, but the real thing may be found to be a bummer.

Wanting to try being with a man, for a straight CDer, is usually an extention or progression of what has been going on during one's CD life ---Remember how you wanted your first pair of high heels? then you may have desired Lipstick, etc.---Pushing the envelope, trying to become more and more like a female, pushing the risks, increasing the thrill-----I think that for a straight CD wanting a man is just that one MORE fem thing you havent had yet.----
No more "sexual" than any other item of CD apparel one might have, however. Some guys might want a bride's gown, and some might want a new purse ---and some might want "a man".

[Sharon]

....
Some CDs THINK they want to have forced fem, or to become a woman, for example, but when a REAL situation involving the desire happens or threatens to occur one may discover the prospect actually terrifying or unpleasant. The "safe " vicarious experience in fantasy may be a turn on, but the real thing may be found to be a bummer.



Very deep stuff, Marina, but this is the transsexual section, not one of the crossdressing sections.:happy:

Janelle,

Believe me I know how you're feeling, as my own sense of sexuality has been altered from what I once believed it to be. I don't think this is too uncommon and is certainly well worth exploring within your own mind. Just don't confuse fantasy with reality, as they can be quite different. And if you decide that you may well be attracted to men, then you have a decision about what to do about your wife -- be honest with her? ignore your own feelings? or just ignore her and do something that you would be ashamed of. It's a tough set of choices and none of them would be easy, although honesty is always the best way to go.

[Stephanie Stephens]

I was honest with my wife about the same issue and it just happened one night we were partying with a friend and we all ended up in bed. my wife and I talked about it the next day and we agreed to have other encounters with another man in our bed. We both liked it very much and there is no cheating.
Stephanie

[Calliope]

I'm not gonna get into the faith / cheat part of the equation here but, speaking as a TS who has been adventuring and misadventuring with men for a few months, I can pretty well guarentee you no trannychasing dude will be treating you as "the queen [you] sometimes feel [you are]."

Nope, they'll either be treating you like a supercheapo **** - or a gay guy wearing colors bright enough to cover their closet fears.

With that in mind, make your choice. I mean, sometimes I am a supercheapo ****... but never a queen, that's the sole province of GG girls - and only when they are fortunate.

[April410]

Let me join you in confusion, I love my SO like no other person , place or thing on this planet. But that doesn't change the fact that sometimes I find myself wanting to expierence the whole Male-female relationship (good sex and sentimental time as well) especialy as I get a little clearer n this trip to a new? me. If when I become more of this real female will I still love her the way that I do? WIll she want to stay my soulmate? As I think more and more odf allowing myself to become a woman I find that old yearnings for male "love" awaken again. I dont know...
Huh I wonder if I m being unfaithful to the person I have pledged my undying fidelty by having those thoughts or jis my very existence an act of unfaithfulnness to her?
wow, I'm new by the way
hugs april410