What about :was anyone caught by their wife and what happened ?

[Angela d'Evial]

My wife knows or not.I don't know. I don't know if she knows what it is.
I told her 27 years ago that I like to dress but the only thing she asked was;What about the kids? I said that they will not notice anything.
Sometimes she finds something that don't belongs to her like a slip drying in the washroom. I say :oh it is a good rag for polishing. Over the 34 years of marriage she found some strange things around the house but I always find a creative way of explaining it. I don't think she believes it .
My wife is the non confrontational type . Avoids conflicts, take good care of me and we have a bright future for our retirement. I hate to loose her,although we have no sex anymore. I don't think she will leave me but will make fun out of me. I think we should have a talk !!!!
This site certainly helps overwin the fear , great !!!!!!

[MJ]

my wife found out... and we are no longer together we were married for 20 years and i loved her so .. but she could not put up with this, kind of sad as it was 3 years ago this week she found out and a week before my b-day we went our seprate ways june is not a good month for me i try not to think about it ...

[Angela d'Evial]

my wife found out... and we are no longer together we were married for 20 years and i loved her so .. but she could not put up with this, kind of sad as it was 3 years ago this week she found out and a week before my b-day we went our seprate ways june is not a good month for me i try not to think about it ...

Mj , you are not helping me ! I don't want to loose my wife , please tell me it is not always the case.

[Stephenie S]

My wife (wife to be, at that point) found a bra in my briefcase. Of course she assumed it belonged to another woman, and the s**t hit the fan, big time. It took me quite a bit of talking to convince her it was mine.

Stephenie

[Lori SC]

[QUOTE=Achnes;898187]
I told her 27 years ago that I like to dress but the only thing she asked was;What about the kids? I said that they will not notice anything. Over the 34 years of marriage she found some strange things around the house but I always find a creative way of explaining it.

I don't think she will leave me but will make fun out of me. I think we should have a talk !!!!
QUOTE]


Achnes,

If you talk to enough girls here, you will find that sometimes a couple stays together, and sometimes they don't.

You are better off telling your wife, than her finding out accidentally, but why; after 34 years do you want to tell her? If you made it through that many years without her finding out, what makes you think she will discover your secret?

I favor telling a spouse, but it is a VERY individual decision. There is no way I would advise one way or the other, since there is a definite risk that the marriage will not survive. More than likely, the marriage survives, and the wife can range from intolerant to supportive.

I'm not sure an intolerant wife is any better or worse than being in the closet. If your wife is supportive, you have gained a lot.

So, I think I said a lot of words, and probably told you nothing.... only that you are taking a gamble if you tell your wife. Actually, you are the best judge of how your wife will react to the news. Is she liberal or conservative? Is she very religious? What are her opinions on Gays & Lesbians? (Do you have any G-L friends)? You get the picture.

Lastly, I told my wife about 2.5 years ago, and the first 3 months were pretty rough. After a LOT of discussions, she is very supportive now. I have a few rules I agreed to, but it has been great the past 2 years.
I can dress whenever I want in the house, and go to a nearby city when I want to get out. For me, It was the best thing that I could have done.

Hugs, Lori

[sandra-leigh]

Mj , you are not helping me ! I don't want to loose my wife , please tell me it is not always the case.

I was fortunate in that for me, it wasn't a bra in a briefcase (like Stephanie S mentioned), it was some stuff I'd put away downstairs, including breast forms -- so she could tell that whatever it was was about me, not about Another Woman. She thought about it for awhile and then asked me what was going on, and I told her without trying to deny it. Fortunately, she's been increasingly in a "It's important to be happy" frame of mind, so she didn't get upset with me at all, just asked me a bunch of questions and joked a bit. She didn't know if she wanted to see me dressed (ever) but she was okay with me going out dressed; she was just concerned about my safety, concerned that I might be bullied. That was slightly less than two months ago, and she's already seen me dressed (and thinks my hair doesn't look good; it was a bad-hair day, I was rushed). It isn't approval, but it's acceptance, and seems likely to be more tolerated in the future.

[Angela d'Evial]

Fortunately, she's been increasingly in a "It's important to be happy" frame of mind, so she didn't get upset with me at all, just asked me a bunch of questions and joked a bit. She didn't know if she wanted to see me dressed (ever) but she was okay with me going out .It isn't approval, but it's acceptance, and seems likely to be more tolerated in the future.

This is great ! At least I get the releave that there is a posibility of a good end.
I almost got a hart attack once when she entered the front door and I was half dressed. Fortunately it was around Christmas and everybody do a little secret with presents. She must have tought something like that when I rushed to the bathroom to do something about my appearance.
Thanks for your input

[Samantha Thomson]

well i dont have a wife but do have a gf i came in one night all dressed up as samantha i thought she was going to flip out instead she told me if i want to dress as a girl she going to treat me as one and as her bitcx

[Joni Beauman]

My wife caught me dressed once when she returned home unexpectedly after departing for town. A year or two later, she found my purse with full girl gear in it, heals and sweater, all stuffed in my daypack ready for an overnight field trip. It has taken some time and slow incremental progress - but now we shop together and I dress when on a different floor of the house, usually after she goes to bed. She's pretty accepting and we are growing even closer, I think, after 24 years. Best advice perhaps it to be honest, gentle, patient, and willing to compromise. Joni

[MJ]

Mj , you are not helping me ! I don't want to loose my wife , please tell me it is not always the case.

you ask the question .. i did not want to loose mine. but it could happen and i am not the only one here .... but i do hope everything turns out good for you i wish you well
hugs

[Holly]

...I don't think she will leave me but will make fun out of me. I think we should have a talk ...Achnes, you sort of answer your own question here, Plus you say that you believe she suspects anyway. Yes, there is a risk. You situation will be different than everybody else's here. For me, it worked out well when I told mine. We weill celebrate our 39th anniversary later this year. Like many others here, I favor honesty, but in the end it is up to you.

[ramona203]

My wife once found a pair of my pantihose in the wardrobe. She left them on the bed but nothing was said.

Last night my email address came up when she logged on to hotmail. That got my heart pumping! I had been careless. Thankfully she is not very computer savvy so I got away (I think) by telling her it was some sort of spam.

Sometimes though, I sort of hope she does find out.

Warm regards

Ramona

[Angela d'Evial]

Sometimes though, I sort of hope she does find out.

Warm regards

Ramona[/QUOTE]

Exactly !!!! You don't do it on purpose but wish she slowly starts to get suspicious and initiate a query so you can answer the questions.

That is a easier way than : He hun, guess what ,I am a crssdresser !!!
And see the s... hit the fan.

Thanks for your input
Achnes