Dear Abby Letter.

[Lourie James]

In our Sunday paper, was a letter from the wife of a Cross Dresser that had past away. She must have been very supportive of Serena, as her problums are with her son not finding out and what to do with all the mail. What Abby had to say is the best part. She showed great understanding of the hole thing and even gave web sites for the wife to get more help.
I wish I could up load the hole letter.

[MJ]

is there a link ?

[Wendy me]

you mean this one???.....




today's Dear Abby

WIDOW DEALS WITH HUSBAND'S DEATH AS WELL AS ALTER-EGO'S

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Sean," died suddenly last year. He was a wonderful husband and father in every way. I knew about Sean's cross-dressing from the beginning and accepted it unconditionally.
Our 11-year-old son, "Brad," knows nothing about this part of his father's life. Sean and I discussed it many times, and it was his wish that Brad not be told until he was older.

My concern is, I receive mail, credit card applications, personal letters, etc. addressed to "Serena." Only one member of Sean's family knows about Serena, although most of his friends do. I am unsure what to do if and when Brad asks questions, as we all know he will.

There are also clothes to get rid of and other personal items of Serena's.

I want to honor the memory of my husband and his other self without hurting his family or our son. It is hard sharing this information with banks, credit card companies, and other places where "her" name appears. I try to explain that Serena was Sean's alter-ego and that when he died, so did she, but I do not want to go into detail.

How do I honor the man and woman I loved, and at the same time, protect our son? This is the only subject we never had a chance to talk about. -- ALONE WITH THE SECRET IN WISCONSIN

DEAR ALONE: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your husband. When dealing with credit card companies, banks, etc. it is not necessary to go into detail about who Serena was. It is none of their business. Simply state that your husband, Sean, is deceased, and mail in his name should be stopped. And also do the same for Serena.


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As to discussing your husband's other self with your son, my experts advise that the best time to let children know about the cross-dressing is when they are very young (3 or 4), and can accept it naturally as "the way things are." Eleven years old is too advanced an age for the subject to be introduced now. You would be better to wait until the boy has matured into his late teens or adulthood to discuss it with him.
When you dispose of Serena's things, do it at a time when your son is away or out of the house. If there are special items you would like to hold onto as keepsakes, consider renting storage space or putting them in a location in your home to which your son does not have access.

For support and information -- as needed -- you should visit the Tri-Ess Web site, www.tri-ess.org, as well as a chapter of Tri-Ess called Nu Lambda Pi. This is a family-oriented support group for heterosexual cross-dressers, their spouses, partners and family members. It can be accessed at www.geocities.com/nulambdapi.



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[SherriePall]

Saw that, too, in my Sunday paper. She sounds like she was (and still is) a wonderful wife.

[tammie]

Hi EVeryone: Dear Abby is no longer written by Abigail Van Buren, but I think it is written by her daughter. It was once very important to me when I was younger.

I had been discovered by my mother in her bra garterbelt/stockings LLPG and slip one night and I was made to undress in front of her and she took her things and left. She didn't call me names or make me feel worse than I did all ready, but I was quite embarrassed.

My mothers friend advised her to buy me some lingerie of my own and forget about it and she did. A week later I had my own first bra pantygirdle and slip.
The slip was just like my mothers. The long leg panty girdle was the same size also, but she saw her bra cups were big and she got me a 36B instead and it fit so well.

I was told not to wear them out of the house or let my father see me, it was my mother's and my secret. Several months went by and one day I was reading the newspaper, (I had a paper route) and in Dear Addy's column I saw a letter from a man who desperately wanted to wear womens underwear and didn't know how to get what he wanted.

She advised him to get a picture of what he wanted (say in an ad or catalog) to know his size IE measurements, and go to the lingerie dept of a dept store before closing or right after opening when it would not be busy. Then to just tell them what he wanted without making a scene and it would be OK.

That advise changed my life as I realized I wasn't the only crossdresser in the world, and that I could make purchases of things I wanted. It was not long after that I bought my first piece of lingerie. I went to JC Pennys and bought a lace back close garterbelt and stockings.

[MJ]

what a wonderful supporting wife , i wish her all the best

[Dasein9]

Tammie, I think I love your mom a little bit. Hope that's okay.

[Lourie James]

Thank You Wendy, I have no idear how to do the link thing. I thought that it was worth passing on Again Thank You

[Butterfly Bill]

In the paper this morning in Annie's Mailbox (the inheritor of Ann Landers):
http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/annies-mailbox.html?columnsName=ama
Annie's Mailbox®, June 11

Dear Annie: I've been married over 30 years to "Ted." He makes a very good salary, we own our house, and there is money in the bank. I've never been unfaithful, but I'm not sure I can say the same for my better half.
Five years ago, I was doing some major cleaning. When I moved boxes in the closet, I found some women's items that were not mine. And not just one or two items — at least a dozen, and I don't mean shoes.
I didn't say a word for two weeks, and then I lost it. Ted travels a great deal and told me he found those items alongside the road. He didn't see anything wrong with collecting them but promised not to do it again.
Well, I found similar items yesterday. Do I confront him? — Losing Sleep
Dear Losing Sleep: It's possible Ted is telling the truth, or he may be cheating and keeps women's attire as souvenirs. But we think Ted could be entirely faithful and those items belong to him. Your husband may be a crossdresser.
It's time for a heart-to-heart talk. If he's cheating, please seek marriage counseling. If he's wearing women's lingerie, contact Tri-Ess, The Society for the Second Self Inc. (tri-ess.org), P.O. Box 980638, Houston, Texas 77098-0638.

[Butterfly Bill]

Thank You Wendy, I have no idear how to do the link thing. I thought that it was worth passing on Again Thank You

At the top of your message composing window there is a button with a picture of a globe and a chain link. Push it and you will get a little window where you enter the URL

[Lori SC]

My wife saw the letter and told me about it. We both read it. I think Abby's advice was great.

At first I was thinking that the wife probably already knew about Tri-Ess, and even if she didn't, she doesn't need them now.

After thinking about it, I realized Abby's not writing to one person, but to a whole nation of people! Imagine how many people read that story. I hope some CDs and wives are motivated to look up Tri-Ess or do a search and find this web site.

One thing though, I wouldn't tell a child between the ages of 10 and 18. By the time the son is 18, so much time will have passed, it won't matter anymore.

Hugs, Lori