Big small courages?

[sandra-leigh]

In the recent past, I've done some blantant and fairly public TG things, described in other threads.

In a way, those blantant activities were easy. There isn't much risk in wearing a skirt on a crowded bus. Like an anonymous singer at Karaoke, you might get booed, but no-one knows you, and if you're having fun, who cares what strangers think?

This got me thinking that there must be thousands of small quiet things that you people do, which might not even have been noticed by anyone, but which at the time took you a lot of courage -- or a lot of inner need!

I know some of you have posted of having your hand on the door to your house (or hotel), nearly sick to your stomach for fear of going out in public: taking that step outside took you far more bravery than I've needed on my flashiest days.

What would you say were some of the most important steps of courage that you took?


For example, on Saturday, I went into the corner deli (300' away), as a guy with very obvious blue nailpolish on my left hand. This is a deli that my wife and I have been going to for years, where all the staff knows us by sight, so I was partially outing myself to people who know us, not to some strangers I'll likely never see again. I can't "take that back" now. (The cashier was concerned about my back, not about my nails, which she definitely saw.)

[Nikki A.]

Interesting question
I guess any first that can lead to detection takes courage. First time I underdressed, first time going out dressed, wearing a little makeup en drab all take courage. I guess that those who openly acknowledge are even more couragious or maybe they feel that they have less to lose in terms of family and career.

[Glenda58]

My first meeting of other girls someone that I would be having to talk to all night long. Almost did go in. Now anything goes.

[Joy Carter]

This is a really thought provoking thread. I recall my first time out with a good friend. I wasn't hesitant till we got to a late night restaurant, and I held the door for her to go in first. Other than that time. I haven't hesitated once in going out fully dressed.:D

[Marla S]

What would you say were some of the most important steps of courage that you took?


For me at was/is a series of tiny steps, each of which needed courage.

I slowly made my neighbours, friends,surroundings and myself used to a more feminine style.

Some steps that were driven by the pink fog, I took back, because I felt uncomfortable on the long run. Other became more easy because I felt completaly comfortable with it.

[Kate Simmons]

I'm the type of person who has to jump right into the water to get in. If I put my toe in the water, I'd never go in because it was too "cold". When I first came "out' and began attending meetings, I was wondering how to act so people would accept me as a woman. I saw what others did to try to look and act femininine and it just seemed too damned convoluted to me, almost as if I was asking "permission" to be feminine. Well, that wasn't for me but I'm not the type of person who likes to throw it in someone's face either and tell them to accept me or else--nope, there had to be a better way.
What I ended up doing was just being myself and not being pretentious at all and guess what?, it worked. I was accepted and most people have no problem with me. By doing that, I de-mystified CDing for a lot of people and they saw that maybe we aren't so "nutty" after all and are just people. That is what seemed to work for me anyway.:happy:

[Jocelyn Quivers]

The very first time I went outside my house and saw the world as Jocelyn. Jocelyn

[Frankie-Dear]

First time I browsed the womens' frilly underthings.....
First time I actually BOUGHT a pair of panties...
First time I bought a bra....

I have yet to work up the courage to throw a skirt and few blouses over my arm and walk into the dressing room....

I'm thinking that I should just go into a Victoria's (Victor's? LOL) Secret outlet and tell the saleswoman, "Hi. I'm a crossdresser and I'd like to try some things on." Screw it...

A few of these times though, I've been so scared, I would almost rather go back to combat. LOL... Terrifying... So then, because "Frank" is scared, "Frankie" comes out and gets BOLD!! LOL!

[sandra-leigh]

A few of these times though, I've been so scared, I would almost rather go back to combat. LOL... Terrifying...

Perhaps it would help to go shopping with someone else who is blasse' about it?

Sounds like you must be in the USA, with the reference to Victoria's Secret. Are there likely other CDs in your area (Okay, the answer to that as stated is "Yes", cuz we're everywhere! But ones who get out.) Is there a local tri-ess chapter? Looks like there a bunch of groups:
http://www.tvals.org/LGBTGroupsUSASoutheast.html

[Frankie-Dear]

Thanks. Yeah.. I am in United States. Tennessee, equidistant between Nashville and Huntsville, Alabama. Down here, especially here in The Sticks, I'm pretty isolated... Thanks for the Tri-ESS link. :) :thumbsup:

And yeah, I'm going to be going shopping with my wife, this weekend. I'm looking forward to that. She seems to be looking forward to it too, although it took her about ten days to get over the shock, when I told her that I've begun crossdressing. LOL

[JoAnnDallas]

The first time I went out totally en femme in the daylight. The house sits on a corner lot, so has a side walk on two sides of the house. I walked out the back door, thru the gate, down the driveway to the sidewalk, up the sidewalk to the corner, around the corner, down the front sidewalk to the walkway leading to the front door. As I was doing this, my heartrate was racing, I was sweating, my breath was hyper, and then the car came down the street, passed me and continued on.
Since then I had the chance to goto HEF last year where I meet others like ourselves and really enjoyed it. I now belong to the local Tri_Ess chapture and even gone shoe shopping solo. Even as I push myself to higher levels, none have been as nerve wacking as that first walk in the daylight. LOL

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I guess they are all a bit exhilirating every time I go out en-femme, as for courage I don't look at it that way even though it is for many a very courageous act to go out dressed. I look at it as throwing caution to the wind since i am only out to my wife and if caught by someone that I know I don't really know how I would react or what I would do in response. I think that I would handle it as a matter of fact and just let the chips fall as they may. I did have some fear when I first started many years ago but it has become fairly easy and I love it every time I am able to go out en-femme. I wish that it could be more often and i guess if i ever get found out it will probably happen more often.

[sandra-leigh]

I love it every time I am able to go out en-femme. I wish that it could be more often and i guess if i ever get found out it will probably happen more often.

Is that some pink fog I sense lurking around? :D

I suspect a lot of us end up taking bigger and bigger risks, more or less "wanting to be caught", so that we can be more open about it.

[Brianna Lovely]

[QUOTE=tess-leigh;899429]
What would you say were some of the most important steps of courage that you took? QUOTE]

1. First time out. Went out of town to learn about makeup. Ended up fully dressed, wig, forms, makeup, skirt, blouse and heels. Drove home that way and got stuck in an hour long traffic jam.

2. Second time out. Went to an all male, retired business men's lucheon and wore a skirt, fem top, sandals, nails done, carried a purse.

3. Last week, went to an upscale formal dress shop and tried on dresses and shoes, right next to brides-to-be and other ladies.

[joann07]

Sorry this is a bit long.

Last summer, before I started fully crossdressing, I saw an ad in the newspaper that my local department store (Dillards) was having a %25 off sale on all brands of Hanes hosiery so I figured I'd stock up on pantyhose. Now, I had mostly bought my pantyhose online or used the self-checkout at places like Wal-mart, but this time I knew I was going to purchase pantyhose from a cashier. I had never done this before so I was a bit nervous, but then I said to myself "What the hell. Doo it!! Dooo it now!!" so I drove out there, walked into the hosiery department, and started browsing the endless shelves of Hanes pantyhose. As I was looking around, a sales lady (of Asian descent) came up to me and asked if I needed any help. When I looked at her, she didn't seem surprised by me shopping for pantyhose so my nerves had subsided. I told her that I was looking for a particular color pantyhose and she asked what particular shade I'm looking for. I was wearing suntan pantyhose, with a pair loafers, and so I pulled up my pants (exposing the lower part of my leg down to my ankles) and said that I'd like to try a lighter shade than this. She noticed the color of my pantyhose and recommended that I should stick with the suntan because it blends well with my skin tone, since I'm also Asian. She also said that if I were to go with a shade like nude it would look awkward and so she recommended that I get the Barely There shade since that's what closely matches the color I was wearing. In addition to that, they feel much softer and silker.
Because she was very helpful, I started to get comfortable and so I started asking her other questions. I asked her what she thinks about black or jet black and she said that those colors would look nice with anything and I said "Ok". We looked at the various selections and picked out various types of Non-control top (Reinforced toe and Sandalfoot) in Barely There and Jet black shades. I gathered up about 10 pairs and then she said that she would take them up to the counter and hold them while I continued browsing.

I asked her what other hosiery she would recommend and she asked if I like pantyhose with a little gloss or shine and I said, "Yes". So, she brought me over to another section and recommended trying a pair of Donna Karan's. She said that they're a little bit pricey, but are worth it since they feel very nice and comfortable. She then showed me samples of their brand and I was amazed that they felt really soft.
She picked out a pair in a shade called bronze, opened the package, compared it to my skin color and said that that would look great. I looked at it, felt it, and really liked the look of the glossy shine so I said that I would go ahead and try a pair. We then walked back to the counter and then she started going through what I had.
Ok. So I had ten pairs of Hanes pantyhose and one pair of Donna Karan's. When she was getting ready to total up everything, she asked if I wanted to be a member of their hosiery club so I said, "Sure". All I needed was to get 12 pairs of pantyhose and the next one was free so I went back and got two more pairs of Hanes and then I got the Donna Karan's for free.
After I paid and left, I felt so relieved. I wasn't sure what to expect when I went in, but everything turned out ok.
That was a big step for me and now, everytime I go back there, I'm always looking for that specific sales lady because she's a great person to work with.

Even if I don't go that specific place, I can go anywhere in drab and not feel nervous buying pantyhose. I've even gone to the L'eggs Bali Hanes Playtex in drab and bought pantyhose there with no problems.

[Mitch23]

I'm the type of person who has to jump right into the water to get in. If I put my toe in the water, I'd never go in because it was too "cold". When I first came "out' and began attending meetings, I was wondering how to act so people would accept me as a woman. I saw what others did to try to look and act femininine and it just seemed too damned convoluted to me, almost as if I was asking "permission" to be feminine. Well, that wasn't for me but I'm not the type of person who likes to throw it in someone's face either and tell them to accept me or else--nope, there had to be a better way.
What I ended up doing was just being myself and not being pretentious at all and guess what?, it worked. I was accepted and most people have no problem with me. By doing that, I de-mystified CDing for a lot of people and they saw that maybe we aren't so "nutty" after all and are just people. That is what seemed to work for me anyway.:happy:
Big question and interesting responses. Many small steps and some mega ones. First time under dressed, first time shopping for frillies as a guy, practicing with makeup, first time out driving, first time outside fully dressed, first time in shopping mall fully dressed (the terror before i got out of the car), interracting with sales staff, seeking advice from sales staff, having a makeover in public view, using ladies changing room, going to support group meeting, wearing jewellery, shaving legs, carrying a bag, painting nails, coming out to wife, establishing a look, watching Mitch's personality and character develop, joining this lovely group and being able to contribute.

Yes its been a fairly eventful 6 months!!!

Mitch

[Chrysoprase]

NAPA.

Going into NAPA dressed was really hard the 1st time, But I really had to get something.

[Frankie-Dear]

I just got back from getting my right ear pierced. I got the left one done last February, but I was thinking of waiting 'til my hair was long enough to cover my ears before doing the right. Screw it.... I just went and got it done, and right now, in my Levi 501's, olive drab shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and my tank-top T-shirt, I look very masculine. And then... There are the sweetly glittering silver studs in my ears... LOL

[sandra-leigh]

Going into NAPA dressed was really hard the 1st time, But I really had to get something.

NAPA? We don't have that around here. Would that be the auto supply place? Those would certainly be considered traditionally very masculine.

[Stephenie S]

See, Joann? You let a sales assistant HELP you. That's what they are there for. All of you - When the SA comes up to you and says, "May I help you?" say YES. Yes, you can help me. Tell him/her what you are doing and let them HELP you. It's fun. And they are professionals. They do this stuff for a living. Some of them actually know what they are doing. Shopping for an outfit is FUN with the help of a good SA.

Always say "yes".

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Frankie-Dear]

Wow.... Stephenie, that is really good advice, and I think I'm going to take it. I walked into a womens' exclusive store, a couple of weeks ago, and I was browsing. A rather matronly SA came up and asked how I was doing. I made a hasty retreat for the door, and replied that I was... confused. LOL

gawwwwd.... LOL