Nervous about public appearance

[Jenna Anderson]

Since I'm still getting used to this new lifestyle, I do most of my changing in the car. Then I roll down my windows, and drive away. I still haven't picked up courage to get out of my car and walk down the street. My fear while driving and otherwise is being stopped by the cops. Can they do it if they know you are a CD? Any thoughts on how to handle such situations?

Love y'all

[Dixie]

They can't stop you just because you are a crosdresser, crossdressing is not illegal.:drink:

[Alex S]

While I know they can not stop me while cross dressing I still feel that fear myself. :D

[Maddie]

I got stopped while dressed considering i had made a semi ileagle turn the officer was cool

gave license and waited

he did come back and ask questions several times just to stare down my cleavage

didn't get me out of the ticket but did give him a good show

he did not say any thingabout the way i was dressed and it was my male license

btw in ny they are used to the possibility so don't worry

Maddie

[Emma England]

They probably have seen many before now.

Ahh! Changing in the car. Ever had a skirt on under jeans, then took your jeans off in the car?

[Jenna Anderson]

Wouldn't mind giving him a nice peek if I had some real DDD breasts. Unfortunately, mine are fake. I try to stay within speed limits while driving, and hope to God I don't do any illegal driving. Thanks for the reassuring words.

[Megan72]

Police see a lot more disturbing things everyday than a guy in a dress. Just don't do anything illegal and you don't have to worry about it, this fear is completely controllable because the choice to do illegal things is yours. Besides there are a lot of police who dress too. Just as many of our members of this forum.

[Karren H]

Cops don't care!!! Unless your hding your identity for illegal purposes..... They are trained to handle trans people... and others...

If you do get arrested enfemme... think of it as an experience.. lol Maybe they will throw you in the female cell... :) but more likely they will put you in with bubba.... :(

Love Karren

[Girdlewoman]

I have had a couple of instances with law enforcement while dressed. Once I got a flat tire while returning home from a crossdressing event @ 1 am. A state trooper pulled over. I had started to change the tire, he came up behind me, I identified myself as a c.d. he said nothing and just held a flash light for me and told me to be careful driving home. Later I had the thought about how lucky I was that it wasn't some guy who might have tought I was a real damsel in distress and felt threatened and might have hurt me. Another time I was stopped locally for a burned out tail light. Again I identified myself as a cd,no problem. In fact the officer asked me if I was comming from some party or was this a lifestyle choise. I thought that was pretty interesting. Lastly, I actually asked a cop in a gas station for directions. Never any problems. I would say, just be honest and don't make an issue of it. You might have a bigger problem, of course, if you have committed a major crime while as your femself!

[Michelle 51]

Cops don't care!!! Unless your hding your identity for illegal purposes..... They are trained to handle trans people... and others...

If you do get arrested enfemme... think of it as an experience.. lol Maybe they will throw you in the female cell... :) but more likely they will put you in with bubba.... :(

Love Karren

Yeah i don't think i would like a lock-up dressed in femme.bubba might like a guy in a dress a little too much.

[Emily Ann Brown]

Have been through a police roadblock in fem before....was no big deal. Just co-operate and give whatever they ask for documents wise.


Emily Ann

[KarenMichelleLuv]

From an earlier post...

When Out In Public: with the Police - All the times when I was stopped by a local policeman or woman, over that past decades, I was treated with respect. Why, because I would always greet the officer with a "Hello Officer what going on this evening?" type of greeting. Nothing is more disarming that a positive greeting, even when you are nervous. Also, always have your license, registration and proof of insurance handy and ready for presentation. Fumbling through your car looking for these items only gives the officer time to evaluate your demeanor, usually towards the negative. Don't always assume that the officer knows when seeing you that you are a CD/TS, etc. You might actually have to tell them this fact. Always tell the officer the truth...I'm out shopping today/night; going to a movie; headed to the local "Girls Night Out" meeting, on my way home from a wonderful evening out, etc. And when asked "have you been consuming alcohol tonight", hopefully you can respond no,I haven't been drinking tonight. Always answer the officers questions politely! I once was asked to show both sides of my hands to the officer. This really concerned me, even though I had perfect nails that evening...later when the officer let me go on with my evening drive home, I asked curiously, "Excuse me officer, what were you looking for on my hands?" He responded that he was looking for blood evidience! Ugh! He said then "Please drive home carefully. [Later the next day I looked in the paper for any unusual items and found that there had been a murder in the neighborhood that I enjoyed a movie at earlier in the evening..wow, I had without knowledge driven very close to a crime scene.] This simply shows you that the police are out there doing a job. Acting or driving suspiciously or driving around early in the morning [2 am - 4 am] is not a normal activity for a "Lady". And allways keep a pair of flats with you should you have to perform the "Test of Shame". I did this once in high heels and passed, although I already had 12 years experience wearing and walking in them under my garter belt. The reason the officer stopped me that evening was because I made an unusual set of lane changes, mostly because I was tired.

[Sally24]

Another option that no one has mentioned is an alternate id. I just ordered a state non-drivers photo id at the DMV. I thought I might have to explain myself to them as I was dressed like this(though it was the red top). They just took my money and my 2 forms of id and gave me the form. I filled out everything as in my male id, didn't try to fudge anything. After waiting my turn for 45 minutes they took the pic, gave me a choice of 2, showed me what it would look like and then told me it would arrive in 4-6 weeks. A real non-event. There was a little tension as it was the middle of a week day and I was sitting in the middle of about 25 other people. No one gave me a second look so I felt pretty confident.

[DianaGomez]

but more likely they will put you in with bubba....
ROFL!!!! Hope nobody has this little fantasy! The excitement of crossdressing could die up REAL fast!

[prettywithsideburns]

I'd bet that given the fear of getting caught crossdressers are statistically better drivers. the insurance industry ought to figure this into their calculations and give crossdressers a break on the premiums!

[Stephenie S]

Dear Jenna,

As others have said here on this thread, this is a TOTAL non-issue. Crossdressing in not illegal!!! Cops are trained to accept whatever you are wearing. They have MUCH better things to do than hassle you for what you are wearing. You must, however, ALWAYS answer questions truthfully and ALWAYS provide proper ID. Beyond this, don't worry. Any cop has seen far, far, worse than the sight of you dressed many times in his career.

This is one thing you just don't have to worry about at all.

However, please be aware that there are some things that are still illegal that cops may very well be interested in. I am talking about prostitution. Many of you go out alone at night for a quick stroll around the block, or a walk downtown alone thinking that the dark of night will protect you. Remember, a woman walking alone at night will be considered by any cop on patrol to be "working". In this situation, you will attract any cops attention and it might be more attention than you want to get. Drunks and young males will make the same assumption. Really, it is far less risky to be out alone in the light of day.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[mskilmer]

I'll echo the other posts ... cops just do not care. Very few people really care. I know it's hard because I've been there myself, but once you get over the feeling of vulnerability it does get MUCH easier! Good luck!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Jenna

i have been in your shoes... for many years i drove and drove....over time i just got out and crossed my legs///later i might walk out side in a parking lot...finally finally i started taking short walks and on it went

i have had a couple of smirks and name callers..many many times have i walked by and was talked to by cops.....its nooo big deal...have fun...really really ...i have learned that its fun and easy to get out a bit..

have fun..dont do anything you really dont want to do...and nobody is going to arrest you for crying out loud...

[sandra-leigh]

bubba might like a guy in a dress a little too much.

Bubba might like the dress too much :D

[TxKimberly]

. . .If you do get arrested enfemme... think of it as an experience..

And THAT particular experience your quite welcome to enjoy first - i want nothing to do with that one! Lets see, so far I've:
1 - Had my car stuck
2 - Had my car towed

I do NOT want #3 to be
3 - Was arrested

Kim (I'm a good girl, honest!)

[trannie T]

Last week I went to a support group meeting [dressed of course] as I left a car was behind me. The car was some distance behind then pulled up close to me and turned on his spotlight. I pulled over, wondering what the cop's reaction to me would be and he passed me enroute to a call. No big deal but it did have my attention for a while.

[Sheri 4242]

I'd be willing to wager that the number of cops who CD is probably near the same percentage as the percentage of the general population who crossdress. But, that is a moot point. What is important is that if you are "out and about" crossdressed, you are not breaking the law. Just be polite and truthfull if you are ever stopped. (It could only be considered illegal if you were hiding/altering your identity with a corresponding element of intent to commit a crime.) In the main, most law enforcement officers have received training about a number of things where they are taught that sensitivity is required. One of these areas is CDing. This is a growing area of professional law enforcement certified training.

NOW, Karren brought up the subject of "if" you got arrested while en femme and where you'd be put. The common practice is to put you where you "anatomically" belong!!! This is where being extremely polite could pay off -- you might be able to talk the officer into letting you change into some type of scrubs they have before you meet cellmate Billy Bubba!

The main thing here is to not be doing anything illegal and it won't matter that you're crossdressed!!!!!!!


I'd bet that given the fear of getting caught crossdressers are statistically better drivers.

Probably very true! My wife says I drive much better when dressed en femme than when drab!!!


As others have said here on this thread, this is a TOTAL non-issue. Crossdressing in not illegal!!! Cops are trained to accept whatever you are wearing. They have MUCH better things to do than hassle you for what you are wearing. You must, however, ALWAYS answer questions truthfully and ALWAYS provide proper ID. Beyond this, don't worry. Any cop has seen far, far, worse than the sight of you dressed many times in his career.

This is one thing you just don't have to worry about at all.

However, please be aware that there are some things that are still illegal that cops may very well be interested in. I am talking about prostitution. Many of you go out alone at night for a quick stroll around the block, or a walk downtown alone thinking that the dark of night will protect you. Remember, a woman walking alone at night will be considered by any cop on patrol to be "working". In this situation, you will attract any cops attention and it might be more attention than you want to get. Drunks and young males will make the same assumption. Really, it is far less risky to be out alone in the light of day.

Lovies,
Stephenie

Stephenie has made some very important points here: don't place yourself in a position to draw undue attention. I understand the "I'm going to take a walk after mindnight" attitude -- I used to feel that way b/c I felt the darkness was a safety net. BUT, you've got to look at it the way law enforcement would typically look at it. You've put on a short miniskirt and MMFMP shoes and are walking in a park at 2:00 AM -- well, what would you think if you were a cop??? Answer: let's talk to this chick; bet it is a hooker. Then the cop sees you're a CDer, so the answer changes to "this may be a male prostitute."

This is why you have got to consider where you are and make certain you have proper ID. AND, be ready to offer more than you are constitutionally required to offer.

Where you are also plays into this. After all, do you think the police see more CDers in Key West, Fl. or Corbun, Ky.? Las Vegas or Bangor, Maine?Police in "university towns" are also more accustomed to it. Major metropolitan areas are more accustomed to it than small towns.

This is a subject where common sense rules!!!!!!!

[Kate Simmons]

Amen to that Barbara. Most people have 5 senses. Successful (and wise) people have 2 more, horse and common.:happy:

[Josephine 1941]

Hi Jenna, Stoped once because I had a head light out, the young cop also asked me step out of the car as I was moving around. I had too get my reg and ins , he also called in another car, why who knows. I was in a short skirt an 3 inch heels they made me move to the rear of my car so they could look inside for what I don't know. There I was in all my glory what a thrill, being calm helped too no big deal. The worst was when I blew my clutch and all dressed at 2 in the morning, I had been clubing, learned about flats, and drab cloths. Could not conntact any friends to come an get me , alway carry a cell phone. I was 12 mile from home had to call my ex was she happy. Its no big deal just stay calm .

Josephine

[cindi51]

I too was stopped a few times when dressed and was treated with respect. Once he thought I was drinking and made me get out and walk beside the road. I think he just wanted to check out my legs, LOL

[Kristen Marie]

On your other issue, try stepping out of the car to do something simple like mail a letter. It's a normal thing to do and only takes 15 seconds....but it's a huge first step.

I was in Vegas this week and after a makeover (my new avatar) I went out solo for a while and did some window shopping along one of the strip malls. Something simple, but soooo much fun! (I wanted to get comfortable being outside, walking by myself in a public place. )I would not want to make my first steps out of a car to be the ones should I get pulled over by the police.

[JoAnnDallas]

One of my outings was driving around the neighborhood while dressed. Then I went to a gasoline staion and filled up the SUV. Now I have gone to a Tri-Ess CD convention (HEF2006), joined Tri-Ess (Attend meetings dressed), and now have walked into a Payless Shoe Store, miggled, browsed, tried on shoes, use my fem voice, and bought a pair.
Just take it one step at a time. Like some others have said. Try mailing a letter, try stopping at a self serve news stand and buy a paper. Each time you will find it fullyfilling and build more confidence in your presentation.

[marie354]

I've had very few experiences outside of the house, but the police is the last thing on my mind. I've learned over the years that they really are there to protect us. (Well, maybe sometimes protecting us from ourselves. Hehe.)



I'd bet that given the fear of getting caught crossdressers are statistically better drivers. the insurance industry ought to figure this into their calculations and give crossdressers a break on the premiums!

Amen to that! I'm sure that CD's are a lot more aware as to what's going on around them, so I would think that they would naturally be better drivers... Better that most probably.



Amen to that Barbara. Most people have 5 senses. Successful (and wise) people have 2 more, horse and common.:happy:

Sal, you've hit it right on the nose...
:hugs:

[Cristi]

I've been stopped a few times while dressed (nothing major, headlight out or doing a few mph over the limit. Got verbal warnings both times). I was nervous both times, but each officer was nothing but polite and professional, though one did appear to do a double-take when he checked the photo on my license then shone the flashlight on my face again to make sure it was really me!

The one 'close call' I had in a car that really make me nervous had nothing to do with police. During a major snowstorm (about 15 inches already on the ground) I decided, late at night, that I just HAD to drive down in my 4wd car to check the mailbox (about 1/2 mile away at the end of the street).

I was wearing an ankle length very full denim skirt, tights and boots with 4" heels. So of course, I got stuck in a snowbank :(

I tried for a few minutes to get the car out, but it was a waste of time. My biggest fear was that a neighbor would come past and offer to help. My only option would be to either refuse to get out of the car to help, or to get out and instantly 'out' myself :(

I ended up deciding that the best option was to head for home ASAP before any cars came along. I hiked the 1/2 mile down the middle of the unplowed road, past dozens of my neighbors houses. By the time I got home, the bottom 10" of my skirt was heavy with crusted melting snow, my tights were soaked from a fall into a snowbank (the 'boots' had no tread to speak of and were like walking on ice) and my boots were full of snow.

Looking back at it now, I get a bit of a thrill out of it... but at the time my heart was racing and I was expecting to see the headlights of a car at any moment. I DID learn my lesson that night and always take a spare 'emergency' set of clothes, even if it is just a pair of shorts and a t-shirt in a paper bag in the trunk!

[Lovely Rita]

Since I'm still getting used to this new lifestyle, I do most of my changing in the car. Then I roll down my windows, and drive away. I still haven't picked up courage to get out of my car and walk down the street. My fear while driving and otherwise is being stopped by the cops. Can they do it if they know you are a CD? Any thoughts on how to handle such situations?

Love y'all


I have never been stopped but do feel concern about it. I would not want to meet up with Spike or Bubba under these circumstances:sad:

[Jenna Anderson]

You ladies have been extremely helpful. It is nice to know that others have had this fear and have conquered it. Hopefully someday I'll be able to take those baby steps. By the way, each of you who have pics look extremely sexy. Any one from the New York area?

[Alice Torn]

I walked around through a small coastal time, by the waer one night, only my second time out. A cop was watching me all the time, then followed me out of the downtown area, out a few milew, THEN TURNED ON HIS TOP LIGHTS! I was nervous, to say the least. "Oh boy, here it comes!" He was asking me what I was doing walking around the town late at night. I told hi i wanted to walk around, when less peple around. He asked why I was driving all over the road. I said I was very nervous. I said i was dressed like a woman, to try to understand them better, and see what they go through. He was not concerned about how I was dressed, just my driving. I told him I was going back to my motel. He just warned me, fortunately. Very profressional. Cops can be sued, easily, these days, so they have to be careful, not to be overly abusive. Of course, sometimes, there will be an abusive cop, as everywhere else, there are jerks.