discouraged

[vicky1953]

Hello ladies,
I hope you don't mind me venting a little. I am kind of down and discouraged. I have been dressing for most of my life. Only recentlty I have embraced a SO who enjoys my dressing for our quiet times together.
She really is not too encouraging as for dressing and going out.
That is where the crix of my discouragement lies. Down inside me, I have some kind of need to take the next step and venture out. I have researched many avenues in my area (Harford County, MD) but have not had any success.
I feel like I am destined to have my femme desires limited to time at home. Not that there is anything wrong with that, mind you. It's just that I have this deep seeded urge inside me.
Does this make any sense? Can anyone help me???
Thanks to all
Vicky

[Corrine GG]

Don't push her, I think in some cases, women can accept a 'private' side but trying to pull her into the 'out in the open' scene may be too much.

I think that is where I am. I'm not sure I can be a 'girlfriend' otherwise I would have married one of my girlfriends.

Forgive me for being blunt. It's really hard on us GGs. You have had most of your lives to deal with this....we are new to it.

[vicky1953]

Thanks for posting. No, I am not pushing my SO at all.
I do respect her wishes and limits. She understands, to a degree, my desires but she is not ready to accept all of them. I respect, and love, her too much to force her to change gher thinking.
Vicky

[Frankie-Dear]

I just got into CDing a few weeks ago... I just came out to my wife, about ten days ago, but I started from the beginning, asking her if she'd like to be my girlfriend and go on dates. She blushed, but seems intrigued... It took her a few days to get over the initial shock, though. Give your SO some time... She may (or may NOT) come around... :hugs:

[Toyah]

Just feel luck that she understands dont go past her comfort zone

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Be patient, give her time her time to move to that comfort level. Jocelyn

[RobertaFermina]

Hope this don't make it worse...

That seed is deep inside of me too, and it has germinated, sprouted, grown a tree and born fruit - tasty, though there is the odd worm now and then.....

I would not dress at all if I had to keep it in the home. I would feel way too sad and frustrated. When I dress up, I need someplace to go!

[uknowhoo]

Hiya Vicky. I'm sorry to hear you're (understandably) discouraged and frustrated. Question though, why not go out and about without her? There are several support groups not too far from you which would be a nice, unthreatening venue for your first time venturing outside the house. Good luck. :hugs:

[Mitch23]

Are you saying that she doesn't want to go out with you dressed or she doesn't want you to go out at all? Two very different dynamics in my humble opinion. I would give anything to be in the place that you and your SO are in at the moment. I am hopeful that I night get there some day but have to accept that maybe I never will. She sounds a good woman so dialogue and compromise

Mitch

[Karren H]

Be patient, give her time her time to move to that comfort level. Jocelyn

I agree!!

Count the blessings you have that most of us would die for... And hey!! Life is full of limits..

And if you want to go out enfemme and she has no problem with you doing so, Just Go.. She just may not want to go along and that's ok!! My wife is always hammering on me "Just because I (wife) doesn't want to do something, doesn't mean that you (me) has to not do it"..... That make any sence??.

Karren

[sandra-leigh]

Down inside me, I have some kind of need to take the next step and venture out.

The very first time that I realized I was a crossdresser, it was in connection with realizing that I could wear womens clothing in public. Before that, I'd done a bit of trying-on, but never with the thought of wearing the clothes myself. (Thinking back, I guess I did a bit more with pantyhose, but that wasn't crossdressing in my mind at the time.) I didn't really go through a phase of sneaking around wearing womens clothes at home when my wife was asleep or away: right from the beginning I was aimed at going out. And that was close to a year before I got my first wig: I was going out knowing I would be "read".

So yah, I can understand the need to go out and crossdress in public; it was immediate for me once I thought of crossdressing as such; it was pretty much the point, to interact with other people and see what happened.

[Frankie-Dear]

The very first time that I realized I was a crossdresser, it was in connection with realizing that I could wear womens clothing in public. Before that, I'd done a bit of trying-on, but never with the thought of wearing the clothes myself. (Thinking back, I guess I did a bit more with pantyhose, but that wasn't crossdressing in my mind at the time.) I didn't really go through a phase of sneaking around wearing womens clothes at home when my wife was asleep or away: right from the beginning I was aimed at going out. And that was close to a year before I got my first wig: I was going out knowing I would be "read".

So yah, I can understand the need to go out and crossdress in public; it was immediate for me once I thought of crossdressing as such; it was pretty much the point, to interact with other people and see what happened.

BINGO, Tess. That's it for me, in a nutshell. :thumbsup:

[Lovely Rita]

It makes a lot of sense, but I also think you need to consider your SO on this one. In the end you make your own decision but sounds like you have a real keeper in her. She sounds loving and nurturing but not ready for the next step. Maybe some day she will.

[Chantelle CD]

I agree with Rita

sounds like a keeper, you have to keep her happy to, its not easy for them, going out with her dressed if your not 100% passable she will feel the world's disapproval as well, and embarrassment, witch they should never have to bare.
I'm hoping in time my love will be OK with it, but would be a sneak out thing and go to a CD event, if i can find one in my city. is she ok with you going out solo?

[AllieSF]

Hi Vicky,

You have received some good information here. My take on it is, where do you want to go with all this? I understand that question may be unanswerable right now. So I recommend that you try to determine where you want to go, which limits are acceptable and which are not. You have been honest with your SO, so keep that up. Honesty is not just saying I like to dress occasionally. It also mean sharing your feellings as they develop or change. The more she understands about you and your needs, the better she can understand how much she can tolerate or accept. Keeping her happy for now may be nice, but may not be your final resolution to your way of life. Keeping everything in when it wants and needs to come out may be more devestating over the long run. Communication is the key here to see if you can satisfy both parties while still being true to yourself. Good luck.

[vicky1953]

Thanks for all of your comments--Please keep them coming.
Yes, I agree that my SO is a keeper. We communicate everything. She knows of my desire to go out dressed fem once. I will not let that desire drive a wedge between us though no matter how stro9ng it may become. She is much too importnat to me to break that bond.
Yes, I do hope to go out once. Only the future will determine
Vicky

[susie evans]

enjoy the blessing of haveing an so that understands and is helpful not every one has that :hugs:

susie

[Stephenie S]

Baltimore and DC both have active CD communities. Do a little searching on line and you will come up with many things to do and people to do them with.

Stephie

[TeriAnn]

I feel very fornuate that my wife is fully supportive and this past weekend she help gather the courage to take my first step into the world dressed as a woman. She gave me strength and the ability to do what I love to do. With out her I am not sure I could have gone out. Hang in there she will come around, when she feels safe and comfortable with your dressing outside the home. Good luck and have fun