I don't post often, but I have a question...

[sara_also]

I am curious to know if there are many crossdressers like myself, who do not relate CD,ing to sex. For example has anyone noticed, as I have, that almost every time I go into the chat room someone wants to chat private and then wishes to discuss their (or mine) personal sex lives.
I know there are some that are into getting turned on by female clothing, and thats fine. (each to his own) However, I am wondering if there are many who dress because, they enjoy, relax or just feel more comfortable in female clothing?
Sara

[DanaJ]

Hi Sara - yes, there are plenty of us that believe as you do. I would suggest getting Yahoo Messenger, that way you can chat with real CDers who would be happy to talk to you without bringing sex or weird fetishes into the conversation. Plus, with YM you can limit who you talk to and who you don't.

If you need any help, just contact me and I will be glad to help ya :)

DanaJ

[StephanieCD]

I'm one of the ones that gets turned on - almost invariably every time. Sometimes not a first but eventually... ;)

I believe that those turned on by it are more likely to prowl chatrooms - for the whole virtual sex thing. Webcams and the like add to it, too. I'll admit I go on the Yahoo chat rooms sometimes just to be naughty - I kinda keep quiet about it, though. But if you look around out there you'll find that 90% of the CD chatters are either looking to get off or watch someone do it.

That is not to say that ALL CD chatters are pervy - but those who aren't looking for a quick fix are more likely to come here, to the forums, where dicussion takes time but it's more meaningful and intelligent.

Maybe I'm wrong - my 2 cents.

[Claire B]

Hello Sara, to answer your question. Trufully the reason I dress feminine. Is because of the stress free, and enjoyment of being somewhat feminine feeling. That I receive while dressed as Claire. As you know that in this world today, there are so many pressures that effects us all. When dressed as Claire this all disappears. As Dana stated, get the Yahoo Messenger service. It is a great way to IM people.

Claire

[Wendy me]

i think as being on the inter net thingy that all types are out threr for me i stay out of chat rooms and like danaj said spend time on yahoo............i choise who i want to chat to .........i am not intrested in picking up or being picked up anyone..................
chat rooms don''t intrest me .............i can spend 4 to 6 hours chatting ...............
on yahoo ......and then still come here to chat................(i told you i can't shut up)

dressing complets me as who i am .........it dosen't envolve sex just a nouther way that people see us in the wrong way...........you know if you dress up you must be looking for something ..........ok i justleave you with this........if someone is trying to talk to you abought something that upsets you or your not intrested in just say no and move on.............................

[Priscilla1018]

Hi Sara,

It takes a while but you will soon learn to tell the difference between pervs and genuine cds. This forum is one of the best but some still get in here. If you are having problems with pervs,contact admin. We certainly do'nt want filth on this forum.

Love and Hugs,
Priscilla

[Holly]

Sara,

Great question! I'm sure you've noticed that there are as many reasons to CD as there are CDers. But as Dana and many of the others have said, there are a lot of us that dress for non-sexual reasons. (But that doesn't mean that we can't enjoy feeling sexy once in a while;) )! For myself, I enjoy the texture, colors, styles, and cut of femenine clothing. It's a great feeling and feels more "natural" than the other stuff.

[Tristen Cox]

Quite simply put, stay out of the chatroom. I've heard enough and been there myself to know what goes on there. This site was set up for discussion of real issues, not as another pornographic playroom. Some get turned on some don't. I personally don't, but I do not hold anything against those who do. The best part about this place is our ability to interact on all levels. We all can look as we want but mainly the purpose we are trying to convey is the stress free love of wearing the clothes(or excitement). If you want to talk dirty there's the chatroom or the adult section. The chatroom is advertised where anyone from the public can see it and enter without being a member here. It's practically a separate entity. Beyond this forum, I've had my best talks with the members on yahoo. There we have conversed on a level not even acheived here. It becomes much more personal, yet not in a sexual way but in a one on one friendship way. We've been doing that for months with voice or webcam and never once sat around talking about sexual thrills. It's been quite enriching actually. Did I mention I didn't like that chatroom? Oh ok. You know where I stand;)


Love
Tristen

[Kassandra]

I am curious to know if there are many crossdressers like myself, who do not relate CD,ing to sex. For example has anyone noticed, as I have, that almost every time I go into the chat room someone wants to chat private and then wishes to discuss their (or mine) personal sex lives.
I know there are some that are into getting turned on by female clothing, and thats fine. (each to his own) However, I am wondering if there are many who dress because, they enjoy, relax or just feel more comfortable in female clothing?
Sara

Sara:
I know what you mean. I feel very comfortable and normal being dressed as a girl. Not a sexual turn on. But looking sexy is fun! I just wish I could be out...*sigh*

Anyway, I don't really go to the chat rooms. I'd much rather chat with my friends here. I think they're a much higher quality of people here. So understanding and accepting.

-Tris

[Nyx]

For me its sort of both. Its relaxing and it turns me on. However, I don't do sexual things in female clothing... And I'm not interested in seeing other men in female clothing. It excites me when *I'm* wearing it, thats all.

[ToniB]

Sara,
I dress because of the sexual excitement it gives me, I've explained the effect it has on me in detail in several earlier posts (only been here 6 weeks!), and that it is to me an aid to masturbation My motive was to add to the debate. I have enjoyed and been enlightened by others who have done the same, whether they have the same feelings I have, or different. I hope you are not including the sexual nature of this debate in your criticism of people who discuss their own sex lives, because I think this is a valuable part of what this forum is all about, to exchange views of how and why we crossdress. I would no more try to discuss your sex life than fly to the moon; what you decide to reveal about yourself and your own activities and feelings is entirely up to you. I personally have found my own revelations to this group a remarkably liberating experience; I'm out of the closet after 50 years to someone at last, and I discovered that there are many more just like me!

I hope you can see my point of view on this, and that you yourself will find the comfort and friendship I have found here by joining in, but only if you want to. Your small number of postings suggest you're not yet ready for a full revelation, but time may change that.

Good luck,

ToniB

[Samantha Jane]

Hi Sara,

Sexual turn on, is the furthest thing from my mind when I dress. In fact, personally the thought of any sexual gratification from dressing is a turn off for me.
Ask for an explanation and I would have difficulty putting into words, why I dress femme. I suppose I dress because I like to look, feel sexy and enjoy it. I take comfort from that the fact that I'm able to explore and discover my strong femme side, by dressing.

That said, I think that there must be a 1000 explanations from different girls as to why we dress en femme and each reason, what ever it may be is as valid as the next.

Charlotte xx

[Carrah]

Well, it's kind of an odd thing. I suppose it matters how I'm feeling or perhaps what I'm thinking? Maybe it has to do with how I look or how what I'm wearing feels? There are times when much to my surprise, I am wet - can I say that here? Then, there are times when I cannot "tuck" anything, if you know what I mean. However, and in either case, the urge to have sex suprisingly is not there. Then again, all that may change when and if my girlfrend ever sees me dressed and what her reaction might be; she is what anyone in their right mind would call, extremely aggressive when it comes to sex to the point I find myself having to hold onto something sometimes. So, if she is turned on by my dressing, the thought of that when I do dress, whether she is present or not, is going to also play a role.

I do not personally specifically relate CD'ing to sex, though. I mean, I don't dress for sex - so-to-speak. I find that dressing excites me, calms me, and frustrates me somehow all at the same time. The excitement probably comes from seeing, feeling, and experiencing the deviation from the norm, while the calm likely comes from finally being able to dress. And, I suspect the frustration probably comes from having to keep it all to myself - for the time being. Even after I introduce my girlfriend to Carrah, I'm reasonably certain the frustration will move to not being able to go out...

[ChristineRenee]

Yup...many of us are like that Sara. Dana and Tristen are both right. Yahoo Messinger is great for chatting with other like minded CD's, and like Tristen, I'm not a big fan of the chatroom either and only have used it for private chats and even then you get trolls interrupting your chats. Yahoo Messinger is definitely better and the way to go.


Love,
Chrissie:)

[donnie123abc1]

I must admit that there is some kind erotic charge that comes with dressing femine. To deny that would lying to myself. But its not the cloths so much as the feeling of being a whole person. The first time I went out in public wearing breast forms I was very self-aware, but after awhile having breasts feels so natural that you don;t even think about them. You stop worrying about what other people's opinions are and grow more confident about yourself as a person. I remember the first time my son asked me "Dad, why do you have boobs?" I was embrassed, But I said "Don't worry about them. I'm still your father. " He seemed ok with that answer. Probably because he was also experimenting with women's underwear in private. (I think that most young men go though this stage. It is perfectly normal.) I dress as I do because it is part of who I am. I don't want to go on parade and say "look at me!" I simply want to live my life as ME.

[alba68]

It used to turn me on when I was younger, and still does in the right company. But I just dress now to relieve the stresses of the the day, having given up the ciggies I need something.

[flicka]

For me dressing is soothing, calming and relaxing; Even when home alone I love to be dressed when doing the housework etc. though generally nothing more than a housecoat and heels. Right now it is about 6am and I am in bed, wearing a black nightie, earings, bracelets and with finger and toenails painted. I feel great, and totally without any sexual needs or faintest desire.

Some of the recently joined members may not know that my SO is male - a charming and considerate man at that. Though family circumstances prevent us cohabiting ( neither is married) we enjoy a relationship equally as loving as the most liberated of you has with your wonderful understanding wives; and I know how rare such a union is in the domestic surrounds of our members.

But to return to the dressing question, when my "husband" and I are together and our minds turn towards sex (a frequent occurence I am pleased to say)then I have a compulsion to dress and prepare myself as femininely as possible.

So to sum up. Dressing does not promote a sexual mood but I cannot enjoy and participate fully in any sexual activity unless I am the full Flicka

[Richelle]

Sara,

There are a good number of reasons why we love to wear feminine clothes. For me it is the look. I love skirts, really long hair and beautifully made up eyes. The only way I get to enjoy them on myself is to cross dress. So that is the reason I do. Not for any sexual turn on.

Richelle