possible gg friend/so concers

[Megan72]

I got to thinking this morning, scary thought I know, but here goes anyway. Many of us desire to have GG friends that we see as just friends, but our SO's understandably feel threatened by this, I believe I would be. I was thinking is this because so man of us begin our dressing and hobby under some sort of sexual preface? I mean, many come out to the SO in a sexual way, and in doing so inadvertently make crossdressing a sexual experience. When we seek to meet other CD's or other GG's in a completely innocent way, the SO might be relating this back to a sexual desire and think the worst.

I could be way off base with and would like to hear others thoughts on it. Do we need to try and transcend the sexual connotations of cd'ing to a more benign thing?

[Marla S]

The sexual aspect (predominately while puberty) has been one of the major burdens for me (I hated it).
Once I got this sorted out for me, it became comparatively easy going.

It bears a certain logic to come out in a sexual way, but I think it's the wrong way.

If I would be convinced that my CDing is sexual driven, I willingly would leave it in the closet. But it is not, so I take it out.

[Tree GG]

Kelliann,

I certainly think your thoughts are accurate. That's not the entire issue, and wouldn't fix everything, but it is a consideration.

Personally, I don't think I'd mind my husband having GG friends and I'm trying to encourage him to develop CDing friends (that's proving difficult :strugglin). I do wonder why you seek "GG" friends - wouldn't any gender of friend be acceptable?

As far as the sexual aspect, as we've seen in many-a-post here, it's probably not just GG's that could be potential partners. So IMO it's more important to reinforce the fidelity comittment (or not, depending) while CDing. When I saw, by word and deed, that Darlene would honor the same responsibilities and committments as he does, it got a bit easier.

[Dana921]

From Tree GG

"I do wonder why you seek "GG" friends - wouldn't any gender of friend be acceptable?"


For me, having GG friends allows me to experience more of the female side of me to another female friend type relationship. I will take any friends that I can get regardless of gender but a GG offers the girl to girl type relationship that helps me understand that side of myself better and lets me learn more about the female interaction with her environment. How a GG relates to the world around her! I think Girls typically view and use different skills (than guys) during their day to day activities and finding those things that I have in common, again lets me learn more about me! Hope this helps Tree!


Kellian!

I am not sure if the same concerns are not present anytime a spouse has a friend type relationship with the opposite gender or anyone that the partner may think could go beyond a non sexual interaction.

Dana

[JoanFlores]

Yes, I have to agree, my SO has said she feels that if I have GG as friends I may want to have some kind of sexual adventure with her. I have stated that to me I look for only would my GG friend can provide such as how to use my makeup, or how to walk and sit as a female. I guess my SO is afried that I may want to change her for my GG fiend.

[Michelle 51]

I think you've raised a valid point Kellianne.It's even more valid if we've included crossdressing in our love making with our so which i've been guilty of sometimes but my desire to meet other cders does'nt have a sexual aspect but is more of just being able to relate with and talk and laugh with someone of like interest but i would understand my wife having some fears. justabit

[Tree GG]

...For me, having GG friends allows me to experience more of the female side of me to another female friend type relationship. I will take any friends that I can get regardless of gender but a GG offers the girl to girl type relationship that helps me understand that side of myself better and lets me learn more about the female interaction with her environment. How a GG relates to the world around her! I think Girls typically view and use different skills (than guys) during their day to day activities and finding those things that I have in common, again lets me learn more about me! Hope this helps Tree!
...

OK, that makes sense. Putting that in relation to the thread, would including the SO in that circle of GG friends solve the SO concern Kelliann expresses? IMO, I'm not sure the CD or SO would interact in this GG circle freely - defeating the purposes you stated. Hmmmmm...........

[Leah B]

Sobe would be upset were I to hang out with GGs as Leah without Sobe around. I didn't ask why when she mentioned it (it doesn't matter until I'm ready to go out yet anyway), but it does seem like a common thing to feel. Personally, I'd me more nervous about male-mode me hanging out with girls and with Leah hanging out with boys. Not that I'd do anything with either, but flirting with boys as a boy has no appeal for me. The narcissist in me would want GB attention as Leah even though I'm not attracted to them. I certainly would enjoy the kind of attention I've given to girls before. I could do without the creepy dudes, or the dudes that wouldn't leave me alone.

[Kate Simmons]

Friends who know me as Sal (and Rich) are both male and female. Frankly, I've never even thought of it being anything but natural myself.:happy:

[marie354]

I've always thought of friends as... Well... Friends.

Whether they are male of female isn't much a concern between friends.

Although it is nice to have some "girl talk" with a GG, I do that all the time with my GF anyway.

I'd certainly love to have my SO there too. Three girls can have a lot more to talk about than two. Hehe. (And more fun too.)

[Karren H]

Well since it wasn't sexual and I'm not a sexual type person... My wife is not jeleous of my women friends... Just as I'm not jeleous of her male friends..

Frankly I don't see why crossdressing would make a SO any more or less jeleous of a woman friend then if you didn't crossdress? Might even produce the opposite effect where she isn't jeleous of your lady friends buts starts to suspect that you are attracted to your guy friends a little too much!! Lol

Karren

[EmmaB GG]

I'm interested to know - what sort of "girl talk" & "female interaction" might you be expecting to hear and experience?

Just curious ....!

[Megan72]

Kelliann,

I certainly think your thoughts are accurate. That's not the entire issue, and wouldn't fix everything, but it is a consideration.

Personally, I don't think I'd mind my husband having GG friends and I'm trying to encourage him to develop CDing friends (that's proving difficult :strugglin). I do wonder why you seek "GG" friends - wouldn't any gender of friend be acceptable?

As far as the sexual aspect, as we've seen in many-a-post here, it's probably not just GG's that could be potential partners. So IMO it's more important to reinforce the fidelity comittment (or not, depending) while CDing. When I saw, by word and deed, that Darlene would honor the same responsibilities and committments as he does, it got a bit easier.

I would never dare to think that the stress placed on a relationship with anyone is so shallow as a single issue. Please believe me when I say that. I have a loving and stable relationship with my SO (wife) and would not trade it in for the world. I was just trying to think from her point of view when I started this thread, It has to sit in her mind that if I am partaking of something that stirs the "spark" with others than I must want something with others - absolutely wrong. I might just wan to hang out with others of our kind. But I also need to understand that whenever this occurs then she might wonder whats up.

Thankfully neither do I go out much, nor do I often go anywhere without my partner.

[Megan72]

Yes, I have to agree, my SO has said she feels that if I have GG as friends I may want to have some kind of sexual adventure with her. I have stated that to me I look for only would my GG friend can provide such as how to use my makeup, or how to walk and sit as a female. I guess my SO is afried that I may want to change her for my GG fiend.

I think that the idea of learning to use makeup, and sitting as a female would be fine if it could be construde as sincere. I can just as easily see where an SO would say, go to a salon, or finishing school, or learn from her.


Sobe would be upset were I to hang out with GGs as Leah without Sobe around. I didn't ask why when she mentioned it (it doesn't matter until I'm ready to go out yet anyway), but it does seem like a common thing to feel. Personally, I'd me more nervous about male-mode me hanging out with girls and with Leah hanging out with boys. Not that I'd do anything with either, but flirting with boys as a boy has no appeal for me. The narcissist in me would want GB attention as Leah even though I'm not attracted to them. I certainly would enjoy the kind of attention I've given to girls before. I could do without the creepy dudes, or the dudes that wouldn't leave me alone.

This is interesting, but could there be some issues with the "flirtatiousness" of females. I think about a teenage slumber party. The girls tend to be very touchy, huggy, kissy, etc. Just all in fun and very innocent. I can really understand my SO not wanting me around a bunch of girls or woman, or men to be fair that are being that way. I doubt that I would want her around that type of behavior.

Thank you all for posting I am really getting some good feedback here. PLease keep it up.

[Sheila]

I Many of us desire to have GG friends that we see as just friends, but our SO's understandably feel threatened by this, I believe I would be. I was thinking is this because so man of us begin our dressing and hobby under some sort of sexual preface? I mean, many come out to the SO in a sexual way, and in doing so inadvertently make crossdressing a sexual experience. When we seek to meet other CD's or other GG's in a completely innocent way, the SO might be relating this back to a sexual desire and think the worst.



not this GG ......... daft I may be but I trust him and our commitment to each other

[Megan72]

not this GG ......... daft I may be but I trust him and our commitment to each other

That is wonderful Jess. You are truly one in a million, but there are many that are not so fortunate.

[Sandra]

not this GG ......... daft I may be but I trust him and our commitment to each other



Same here and has been since we met.

[Joy Carter]

Myself it wouldn't be my aim to have a GG friend, just for improving my girl self. To me it would be the relationship and the mutual support that only a friend can give.

However my lovely wife says while she trusts me. She don't trust them ! LoL

[rose382832]

any friend that i make, i try to introduce to my wife.usualy, they end up being her friend more than mine as i tend to be a "little sarcastic or shy" so they never get to realy know me. that way if they are sam's friends i can still hang out with them and sam is always involved.

[Alice B]

In my opinion a lot would depend upon the strength of your relationship with your SO or wife and if your proposed GG's are also friends of your SO or wife. Were the GG's not a friend of you both I could easily see that it could be threating to your SO or wife. It goes back to keeping secrets which is not a good thing. If everyone involved are friends then I don't think it would be a problem.

[Fab Karen]

not this GG ......... daft I may be but I trust him and our commitment to each other

Trust, what a concept.

[MoonBaby GG]

For many S.O.'s and wives the bond in a marriage isn't primarily a sexual one, but an emotional union as well. I don't mind my partner having friends, both male and female, as long as they are still communicating and connecting by sharing the secrets of their heart with me.