the minutes seemed long...

[sandra-leigh]

I've been tending towards the TG side, meaning that I've been tending to go out in public in a mixed-gender appearance. I've been pretty successful at that when I keep it to moderate femme clothes -- clothes that a GG might easily recognize as being womens' (e.g., a pinstripe white blouse), but nothing very fancy or ornate while mixed-gender. Clothes that can be mentally dismissed as not being Just Too Strange for a guy to wear. My gender-bending excursions have included some very plain skirts -- dull solid colour skirts or plain denim.

I still have some internal boundaries I don't find as easy to push: in particular, wearing more colourful skirts in guy mode, and wearing a dress in guy mode. Today, in recognition that I'm Not Getting Any Younger, I decided I would Just Try It. After some indecision of what to wear, I got my act together and went out in public in guy mode, wearing an above-the-knee blue denim dress. I was also wearing sheer pantyhose (even I have trouble seeing them), sensible womens shoes, 38G forms (didn't look it!) and some light makeup (e.g., enough lipstick to keep my lips from looking blue from the anxiety.)

In the past I've gone straight out of my house fully dressed, and straight out in mixed gender mode (including sometimes wearing a skirt), but I still mentally find a dress harder to explain, and I was worried that some of my neighbours might be out doing yard-work today. So for the outing, I covered my legs and the bottom of my dress with some pants, walked up a block, ducked into a park, and removed the pants there, and then walked the remainder of the way to the bus stop.

Well, I just missed the bus... leaving me standing by the side of a moderately busy road waiting for the next bus, A Boy And His Dress. I soon ducked over to walk the gardens of the nearby school, still completely visible to the public, but less immediately visible from the busy road. The 10 minutes until the next bus sure did seem long!

Once I'd made it on to the bus, the rest of the trip went fine. A long block walk along the busy road, shopping for some womens clothes, a couple of blocks walk over to a drug store and a couple of purchases there, an 8 block walk through a more-residential area to catch my local bus... running for that bus and having it wait for me... finally getting off the local bus a block past home, ducking around back of a school and putting my pants on again over the bottom of the dress, then back home.

Once I'm in motion as an obvious TG, I'm usually pretty good, comfortable walking along roads, comfortable going into stores, comfortable walking by people (except sometimes when my bust is obvious because I'm wearing a stretch top over my forms). But when I'm starting out especially, waiting in one place and thinking of the people gawking as they go by... yet I easily ignore those thoughts once I'm going. (But one thing that still does really bug me is having people observe me as I make the transition from "guy" to "TG" or to "female". Oh, and I don't drive, so I can't do that "in the car".)

What's next? Hard to say. Today was a success, at least with my fashionable but not-girlie denim dress. I still have hills to climb involving wearing "undeniably female" clothes in guy mode. I wonder what the weather forecast is for tomorrow?...

Photos: two in the Photo area, in my "A Guy with a Dress" thread.

[Stephenie S]

Yeah, the one handed "semi weird" dude.

Said with affection, hon. (grin)

Steph

[Stephenie S]

Dear Tess,

I just checked out the photos. I can't see why you can't go where you want, when you want. You look fine to me. Just another housewife out shopping. Perhaps it's the "dressed up" look that got you read. I know that were I to go out in full makeup, I would be read instantly just because no GG around here wears full makeup. I would stand out like a sore thumb. Wigs are also easy to spot if they are not of the best quality. It's another thing that calls attention quickly. That's why I wear my own hair only.

Anyway, hon, you look good.

Lovies,
Stephie

[Kelsy]

Today was a success, at least with my fashionable but not-girlie denim dress. .

Tess??

Can you explain a not girly denim dress?? Sure aside from kilts but-
but doesn't a dress just scream "girl"?!!You have copious amounts of courage:happy:

Jennifer:happy:

[sandra-leigh]

Can you explain a not girly denim dress?? Sure aside from kilts but-
but doesn't a dress just scream "girl"?!!

The boundary might not exist anywhere except inside my mind!

I've just gone back to the photo thread ("A guy in a dress") and added some links to pictures of me fully Dressed, for purposes of illustration.
(All these months of people wondering whether I'm just making my stories up :D )

If you think about the pattern of the denim dress, you will see that it wouldn't take much to close off the bottom (at the same length), making the denim dress into a jumpsuit. And some guys wear denim jumpsuits. The denim dress is not ornamentalized, and people tend not to stare at exactly how a guy's clothing is fastened below the belt, so especially while I'm sitting down, it would be easy for people to apply a small mental twist and decide that it might be unusual, but it is close enough to their internal boundaries that they don't have to get worked up about it.

If you look at the (new) picture of me in the green dress, you will notice the line of rhinestones along the collar of the jacket. That kind of ornamentation doesn't occur on guy's clothes, except maybe in disco bars, so it is (to my mind) much harder to mentally dismiss. The whole shape of the green dress and jacket is, in my opinion, much more feminine than the denim dress. The denim dress is more... female rather than feminine; I would currently have difficulty wearing the green dress out in guy mode as it doesn't seem "forgivably feminine" -- somehow, to me, the green dress would push social boundaries much further.

The second new picture is of me in a long denim skirt and flowery blouse. (I was rushed that night and it was hot, so wasn't at my best). The long denim skirt I have worn in public in "guy mode" with no problem: although there is no question it is a skirt, people seem willing to tell themselves "Heck, it's practically the same thing as jeans", and let it go. The flowery top, though, is not close enough to menswear for people to mentally overlay guy clothes on me so they don't have to think. I had that top custom-made from a stretchy chinese-style bamboo-and-flowers pattern material, and it is fitted to flatter my bust (darted), and it is fastened by a line of buttons down the back (a bit of a nuisance to get into, LOL).

The third new picture is me in a gold top and beige skirt. I don't think I've worn the gold top in guy mode; I've worn some other tops that were close relatives (e.g., a top that is green tinged with gold). That gold top is pushing things a little far in guy mode, but I think that perhaps I'd be able to get away with it if I choose pants to balance out the overall image. The beige skirt; I'm trying to remember now exactly which of my skirts it is. In general, I think that a skirt that simple again becomes "forgivable" on a guy, since it doesn't call attention to itself.

The fourth new picture is of me in an orange velvet dress. I love that dress, and my green one much like it -- when I'm Dressed. This is an example of something that the guy part of me wouldn't choose to wear, but the Tess-Leigh part of me thinks is grand. One of the masquerade members is inordinately fond of leather micro-miniskirts, and has long practice wearing them; I think she would have an easier time wearing a leather micro-mini in her "guy mode" than I would have in wearing that orange dress in my "guy mode"; the orange dress oozes "female clothes!!" (someday I find something that oozes "sexy" from me. :daydreaming: )

Generally speaking, I'm comfortable wearing "simple" female clothes as a guy. A light yellow silk blouse for example: simple and pleasant looking, and people think it looks good on me and don't even seem to stop to ask whether it is a male or female blouse. Even with a traditional pinstripe white blouse and forms and denim mini-skirt in guy mode, the part that I thought pushed the boundaries the hardest was the fact that the bra straps were detectable without difficulty, which (I thought) shifted the question from "Does it look nice? Do I actually care that it's a skirt?" to, "Is that guy really wearing a bra?!? He is!!" My girl blue-jeans: there is no 'tell' unless you notice the fly is on the wrong side -- but if I were to wear womens jeans with flower-embroidered pockets, then it would be obvious.

But my perception of the boundaries changes over time. The green/gold blouse I mentioned, I originally thought projected "female!", but I've worn it a few times now in guy mode and people just think it looks nice.