queston for closet girls

[Michelle 51]

The more i dress the more i want to be out a bit with family or friends.I'm getting tired of the closet.It use to be enough but now i want to be me which a lot of the time is still a guy doing guy things but more and more the girl wants her freedom to be herself . sometimes i feel like dressing and saying what the heck this is me too and just go for it. I'm not going to but why is it so hard to hide this .It never use to be Justabit

[MsJanessa]

was that way for Me and I suspect a lot of the other girls who post here--only one cure for it and you know what it is--you have to have the courage to open that closet door.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I know what you are going through I feel the same way. Jocelyn

[Valerie Nicole]

Been there, done that. And I mean done that. Came out to most of my friends, my parents, my grandmother...just not my sister, yet. But even that urge is getting stronger. I'm lucky to be surrounded by supportive and accepting people. I wouldn't necessarily recommend coming out as a plan for everyone, because some people just won't accept it, ever. You just have to do what you think is right...will your friends and family accept who you are? If you think so, then nothing should stop you from coming out.

[Chantelle CD]

For me, going out en femme is not a desire at all, i know I'm not passable, and for me, going outside in public means interacting with others, smiling, being open, sharing moments, even with strangers, i can not do this is i would be worried about trying to pass, or being looked at sideways, cant get acceptance that way, but odd looks, and a sense of rejection. Hardly a fun outing. I enjoy making connections with people as myself. Even though Chantelle is myself, its a part of me that will not be accepted, so im fine with that. Cant change people, or want them to change and make conections now can you :)

[MJ]

what are you scared of big men / women like you hideing you look better than i do for gods sake ...i wish i had the body of you girls... i would be in heaven ... and i am the one thats out ... whats with that !!!! just do it :D

[RebeccaLynne]

Justabit, we don't all publicly present as our femme "alter egos". Many here are comfortable doing so, judging by the numerous posts of our "out and about" sisters. As for myself, I'm perfectly content to enjoy this facet of my personality sans company.
Although I've only been out dressed a few times on Halloween, I have at times considered doing so without the holiday cover just to experience the "rush" others have spoken about. Problem is, if I like it too much, I'd want to keep doing it. Next I'd be "pushing the envelope": tweezing my brows, piercing my ears, shaving my legs, having my past shoulder-length hair colored and styled; in other words, I wouldn't be satisfied 'til I was "all in"!
For me, self-imposed moderation is the key. Only you know how far you'll ultimately be willing to go. If you've got the itch, sooner or later you've got to scratch.
Hard to hide? Maybe harder not to. Only you know the answer. The closet may just be too restrictive for you. Perhaps a different locale for starters? Life's too short to be lived unfulfilled. Follow your instincts.

[kristine239]

How about coming to one of the many conferences? theres a great one for "first Timers" at www.transeventsusa.org. Click on the Lake Erie Gala

[Dixie]

That's me!! Now that I have gone out a couple of times I'm hooked and I can't believe that I waited this long to do it!!:D

[Mitch23]

The more i dress the more i want to be out a bit with family or friends.I'm getting tired of the closet.It use to be enough but now i want to be me which a lot of the time is still a guy doing guy things but more and more the girl wants her freedom to be herself . sometimes i feel like dressing and saying what the heck this is me too and just go for it. I'm not going to but why is it so hard to hide this .It never use to be Justabit
The closet's very small and the world's very big. Looks like you're ready to fly, little one,

Mitch

[angelfire]

At this point, I have no desire to come out of the closet. I know I can't pass, and if I don't look good, then I don't want others to see me. At this point I am content doing this on my own.

[Kristen Marie]

I did not go out the first time because I thought I could pass. I'm a six foot guy and draw attention no matter what I wear or who does my make-up. I go out because I want to go out as Kristen and enjoy myself.

Just having two nights out in Vegas at restaurants, going to a bar and playing slots at the Sahara was a dream come true. Sure I wanted to look good at these places but never did I realistically say, I'm going to pass as a female tonight.

Once I got out a few times this year, my closet got way too small and now getting out is easier. Not easy....but easier.

Go for it.

[KandisTX]

YOU have to feel the time is right to go out in public. There is no special sign that will tell you it's okay. That decision must be yours, and yours alone.

I recall a time about 5 or 6 years ago now, a closeted sister came down to Houston from Toronto for a visit. She wanted to go out dressed, but didn't have the courage. I made a deal with her because I could tell from her voice that she had decided she was ready. I told her I would meet her en femme and we would spend the afternoon together as such.

When I arrived at the meeting place, I waited outside for her, I should mention that I had selected a very T-friendly area and place to meet so she would not feel so apprehensive, until she arrived. She got out of the car she was riding in with our friends, came over and gave me a hug. My new sister buried her head in my shoulder and cried tears of joy because I had given her that little extra nudge she needed.

Kandis:love:

[Joy Carter]

To me it's no big deal anymore. I was out last Saturday and got my first negative reaction. No big deal.
So far I have been out at night about four or five times. Out in broad daylight several times.
I drove three hundred miles on the highway and stopped three times. Never anything worse than a stare.
My friend Teresa and I went to a "Cracker Barrel" in Ohio and got a good reception from one of the greeters.
It's all in the walls that we put up around ourselves that keeps us hidden.
Now get out there. I'm sure you could find another girl for mutual support.

[monkey88]

I'm content just to do it behind closed doors, myself. I don't really want others to know, but I'm self-conscious and not a social person anyway, so going out dressed I would probably die from nerves! I have no desire to out myself as yet, and I'd be happy to just be able to dress at home whenever I want.

[susie evans]

it takes time to build confidence but wonce you opne the door look out it will never be the same :heehee:

susie

[angelfire]

My main concerns in going out would be:

1) Someone I know recognising me.

2) Getting beaten or mugged from people who hate the LGBT community because I'm different. Hell, a few weeks ago an acquantances cousin got beaten severely and had to be hospitalized after leaving a gay bar. He wasn't in drag or anything. If I were in drag, I could only see it ending worse.

I would also be worried to a certain extent what strangers might think, but only to a lesser extent. I'm sure once I was out I'd be able to deal with THAT.

[brenya]

I'm feeling the same way more and more these days, can't wait till I can start my new life and not have to pretend to be anyone but who I am!

[emmicd]

The closet is a safe place for most closeted crossdressers. Though I yearn to dress more times en femme and would like to outwardly express it i am ok as a closet cd'er.

Besides I am content with life and very happy with my role as husband and father and professional.

dress secretly bother no one.

emmi

[newtothis8767]

ya i wish i could go out also but i want more and more to be a real women and yet im a straight man. just everything on a women is so majestic and beutiful. im slowly getting more courage though today under my sweats i wore nylons and was tucked it was awsome!!!!! when im tucked it feels sooo good and i feel more like a women. but back to question i wish i could come out to the WORLD!!!!

[Andi]

The more i dress the more i want to be out a bit with family or friends.I'm getting tired of the closet.It use to be enough but now i want to be me which a lot of the time is still a guy doing guy things but more and more the girl wants her freedom to be herself . sometimes i feel like dressing and saying what the heck this is me too and just go for it. I'm not going to but why is it so hard to hide this .It never use to be Justabit

Justabit, IMHO -
Could it be you are a caring person??

If one is prepared to deal with the reaction from all their family, friends and anyone else they respect, I guess they're ready. A lot of us aren't. I too want so much to be open but have held it back 42 years now. The breakage was far too great to justify a "Me first" approach. There will be a lot of girls who will say "Just do it!! It's your life." And while it's true it is your life, I don't think a caring CDer would disregard the feelings of those around her, that love and care for her on so many deep levels. What price are you willing to pay. I didn't want to afford it.

[DawnRodgers]

I think as you dress more often and more completely you find yourself becoming more comfortable with how you look and how you feel. Being a long time CD I am definitely more comfortable and feel more natural when dressed as Dawn and would rather dress that way than in my male things. If you find yourself looking good and feel good about yourself it becomes easier to go out and about as your fem self and actually want to be that way longer and longer.

[Chantelle CD]

My main concerns in going out would be:

1) Someone I know recognising me.

2) Getting beaten or mugged from people who hate the LGBT community because I'm different. Hell, a few weeks ago an acquantances cousin got beaten severely and had to be hospitalized after leaving a gay bar. He wasn't in drag or anything. If I were in drag, I could only see it ending worse.

I would also be worried to a certain extent what strangers might think, but only to a lesser extent. I'm sure once I was out I'd be able to deal with THAT.

Ill add to this, because i think its my feelings as well...

I am very intuitive, being spiritual, i can sense what others think, i can feel it, and even though judgment is wrong, it affects me!!! Though i dont go out of my way, to gain acceptance, i feel there is no need to throw fuel into a fire, i enjoy connecting to people, and feeling there respect coming back to me, this gives me energy, i cant get that if there thinking after i leave "omg!! that was a guy, what a freak" even though there wrong in thinking that, it is wrong for me to judge them as well!! Even if it was 100% accepted in the world, i dont think i would go out in public dressed, i was born male, comfortable male, but enjoy flicking that switch, and expressing and feeling pretty in private, i dont need or want to be a female all the time or have approval for that witch is a part of me.

Some of us just dont want to go out enfemme, some of us are happy being male, and get joy from it, Different strokes, for different folks i always say. Dressing for me is a personal thing, not a public thing, But it has tought me to see the beauty of woman so much more clearly, and appreciate them all the more, and in many ways.

[Mariela]

I am also a Closet CD. But just because i dont need to go outside being en femme. I choose being a male, i am more comfortable and better suited as one. but i love CDing in my private, personal time. The only one i came out to is my SO, who rejected it at first, but she is getting more and more curious about it.
I knew she wouldnt like it at all, but we were moving in together and i didnt want to cheat her.

[samcs]

I agree with the more you dress the more your desire grows. I would live to also get out of the closet but know I would not pass outside not to mention the repercussions if I got caught by my wife. I must live right now through the adventures of others. Keep them coming...

[Crissy Kay]

Unlike most girls here, I am very happy in the closet!!! I have no real urge to go out in public. I spend most of my time in male mode and am happy with that too!!!!:2c:

[Toyah]

I have said it many times before I am happy dressing at home and have no desire to go out dressed seems kinda pointless I dont want to live as a woman so why should I want to go out as a woman

[Alice B]

Going through that myself. I've just got to be patient and wait for my wife to catch up with my wishes.:hugs:

[Marcie Sexton]

Let me say that MJ has the right idea...nothing to it, but do it !!!

Sure acceptance is important part of our life, but then isn't it for every one...

I know on my first outing I was let off at a small mall while my wife parked the car, I think in part to push me out of the nest...while I got a few stares, naturally so me being 6'6" tall, but I also noticed something else that strangely enough works in our favor...the ME syndrom...I found out quickly that even though I got some stares, the people in general was so worried about themselves, they had little or no time to worry about me, while I'm sure I was the topic of a conversation that evening or the next morning at work, why should I worry, after all the chances of ever seeing, much aless knowing them are slim and none...

At any rate I spent what seemed hours in front of the mall waiting on my wife, but in the short minutes I had by myself I found that with the ME attitude the general public now has...and...I can do this attitude I have every thing worked out fine...

Who ever said the closet is so small and the world so big obviously has been the same place I and lot other girls have been...The best thing about the whole situation is you couldn't pry our butts back in that closet with an army...:2c:

Life is entirely to short to allow simple-closed minded people to dictate how we are to live our lives...

[Syndi]

I share the same feelings as every one else.Sometimes this closet feels like a prison.

[Chantelle CD]

I have said it many times before I am happy dressing at home and have no desire to go out dressed seems kinda pointless I dont want to live as a woman so why should I want to go out as a woman

Totally agree with this statement!!

These feelings we feel when dressed or not, i mean femininity, the feelings and emotions that go along with it, ARE real, and men CAN feel them, are you all 100% certain that you are really a woman, or is it because your masculinity is low because you forgot just how good that can feel as well, and along comes these new feminine feelings and WOW I'm a woman!!!! There just new and very REAL. I know for me the more i dress up, the less the WOW factor, and is why the sexual thrill diminishes with time as well. Dont dress up at all for a month and them go for it, its WHOLLY WOW factor all over again!!! This alone tells me this is the true. It starts out with moms pantyhose, goes to, bigger items and more, to make up, learning to walk and talk like a woman, to i need to be seen as a woman now, I WANNA GO OUT!!!!
What comes after that? DEPRESSION ?? These feeling become so strong inside of myself as well, but there is reality starin me in the face too, I choose to not let it go so far, that i change who i am, just because these feelings can be felt by men as well, i think that is why a lot of us dont go out, or even have a want to, because we see it for what it is and not let it make us be something we are not, simply because we can feel it as well.

[NighttimeGirl]

a few factors to take into account when leaving the house dressed

no 1 = Balls to EM!!

no 2 = we give ourselves far too much credit to think that everyone is gonna be interested in us t girls trannys whatever you want to call yourself.

no 3 = ppl are out there living thier own life and couldnt care less what others are doing

no 4 = if read and feeling anxious just hold your head up and smile girl, its hard not to smile back at a smiling face.:D

no 5 = enjoy it its what we are and what we do despite any label go for it ! forget about everyone for the day and enjoy it

and finally = a good bit of banter if anyone gives you any grief just laugh it off and turn it all into a big joke, ppl love honesty, dont take yourself too serious and it will be cool. works for me :love:

I can honestly say it may be different for everyone but we will all have the same experiences in one form or other, just go with what you feel, I been out for just under a year now and it gets easier, going out no longer becomes an issue down the line and you do everyday things without thinking and if they are looking its usually because they are secretly thinking (hey I wish i had that was me") :heehee: but its not its you so do it baby :tongueout

hope this doesnt look lik i think i know it all, this is just from my experience xx thx for reading you beautiful ppl xxxxxx

[Toyah]

I really feel sorry for those that go through this emotional turmoil it just does not happen for me. I am happy to be Toyah whenever the mood takes me which is most nights when home. I had the opportunity to go to Sparkle this year, went last year don't want to go again. As for the passing thing well its rubbish it does not matter how good or bad you are you will be spotted and yep comments will be made behind your back or to your face. To be honest I think I do as well as anyone can looks wise, I am accepted and appreciated here and on Yahoo but know that the world at best does not give a damm or would be openly hostile sorry but that's not for me. As for shopping or restaurants or clubs, I buy all my own stuff no one cares what you buy in drab, eating en femme is a pain, hair lipstick and trying not to drop peas down your cleavage all conspire against you, as for clubs well past any desire for those now :hugs:

[MarinaTwelve200]

Whether or not a CD wants to go out in public is a factor dependent on the individual needs of the CD. As we CD for different reasons, our emotional and attitudinal needs and feelings are also different. Some CDers feel the need and urge to go out in public while others do not.

A "Closeted" CD may be defined as a CDer who feels the yearning to go out, but FEAR and "Common sense" prevents him from doing so. But there are also PRIVATE CDers we differ from closet CDers in that there is no yearning, drive or urge to fo out. We consider CDing as one of the things we do in private such as Taking a bath, brushing our teeth or jerking off. We feel no need to "share" CDing with others any more than those other "private" activities. There is a big difference between being closeted and being private. A truly private CDer should not be pressured into going out dressed, as it does not involve the reasons that he is personally CDing for. A closeted type, however may benifit from it.

[JoAnnDallas]

I was deeply closeted until 2005. That is when my CDing came back BIG TIME. I also got the urge to go out dressed. I was very afraid that I would be spotted but so I first looked for a CD group. I found the Dallas Tri-Ess Chapter. They were having a convention here last year and I signed up. In my case it made it easier to go out since I would be among others like myself. Once I saw that some people did notice but did not care, or did not take notice of me, I started to relax. I also found what others had said about shopping in drab and found that the SA's and clerks could care less who I was buying the items for. I have sense gone out solo and found that most people don't care as long as you are not trying to attact attention or act nervious.

[Michelle (Oz)]

After months of planning I left the closet a year ago supported by a group in Atlanta. Since then I've increasingly accepted myself and had just one unpleasant incident. I've now flown in Australia en femme and plan on doing so again soon. I do NOT pass but dress presentably and age appropriate.

My comments:

Do not feel it is wrong to stay in the closet for all sorts of reasons if that satisfies your needs.

If you want to venture out of the closet take the advice of those who have gone before you ... it can be scary and it will take you time to build up confidence. Progress at your own pace and enjoy.

Michelle (Oz)

[Mandy_Enjoi_hers]

To me i.m starting to feel as though Mindi and Him are different people. we are the same person working towards a greater goal.

now i am working on having the confidence to be able to express this to the people around me. nothing has frightened me, excited me, and well festered in my head this much. the feels are there, and i think that it is time soon, for me to express ourselves in the manner see fit. no not as Multiple personality disorder, or something else. but as the complete and whole yin yang.

thank you for this post. it was very enlightening to hear everyone else's thoughts.