seriously thinking of coming out to all

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I have been fighting the urge to ask my wife if I can come out of the closet to the kids. I would not be blatantly out so as to make them uncomfortable but I don't like having to skulk around my own house. I want to be able to wear what I want to wear in my own house and I want to be able to grow my hair out longer so I can style it like a womans when I do go out. I prefer to be able to wear nice tops and my bras but it is taboo as of now to let the kids know about this side of me. I would always dress as there father when we are out together in public so as not to make them uncomfortable with my appearance.
Does anyone have any words of wisdom and advise to help me broach the subject.

[Michelle 51]

I have no words of wisdom but i know how you feel.I live in the country on a river and would love to be able to go out in my yard in a sundress or whatever with a coffee and just be me without listening for a car or someone walking by or do yardwork in a skirt .The closet is fine in the winter but with summer here a girl just wants to go. Justabit

[MJ]

you know how your kids will react to you. go slow take it at there pace and i wish you well how many kids and what age / gender

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Well MJ I have 4 kids, 30,29,28 and 21 and I think they will be surprised but still love me as long as I don't throw it in there faces and embarass them in front of there friends. But I really don't know for sure and hence the reason for this thread.

[aka.laura]

I can only tell you about my own situation. I'm nearly 50, got two grownup kids and they live their own happy lives abroad. I've never told them anything about my CD'ing because I didn't want to burden them with something I had my own problems with. I can live my CD-life perfectly well without them knowing. BTW: my wife knows, supports me and likes it. I've been CD'ing since ever. When they were very young: no prob. When they got bigger: yes, thing get more complicated then ;o) use your imagination. To be honoust: I think they actually know. My daughter found some tops in the laundry and allthough my wife said, they were my son's girlfriend's hm, I don't know but I guess she had her own thoughts about it. My son has access to my PC (he studies IT and is my "private pc-consultant/supporter") and I have made quite a few mistakes regarding security and things (eg nicks, passwords). But both don't say a word, we have a very good relationship, it's kind of "live and let live" and it's very much ok with me and I tend to believe for them it's ok too. Lesson to learn? Why burden them with something that's your problem, not theirs? Could you live with it when they would think you're some freak or something? Kids can be cruel. Parents too. I don't know. That's just my opinion. Stone me. Love, Peach

[Marla S]

Words of wisdom ? Definitively not ... but a thought.

Before asking if you could come out to the kids, it might be better to discuss with your wife what impact on the kids it could have if they'd know (that depends on a lot of things), and if it is at all possible to hide it on the long run.

Your wish to be free in your own home is more than justified, but with wife and kids it is not your home anymore, its their home too.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

The kids are all out now except the college girl that is home for the summer. It's my house and my wifes almost 98% of the time but the kids do drop in on a regular basis. I also want to grow my hair longer and get my nails done, not long just conservatively active length and would not keep polished all the time but want the option. I also want to get my ears pierced and the way I have led my life up to this point would send all kinds of flags up for my kids so in order to be more of who I want to be I really need these options available to me and the kids would need to be in on it, at least I think so!!!

[Marla S]

Hm.
With this background I'd say:

They are grown and have their own life and make their own decisions (for the most part).

Could be time to start your life and make your decisions. You have a right to do that.
Nevertheless it should be discussed first. Maybe it needs another compromise, maybe not.

[DonnaT]

Well, in my case, I've told both my son (29) and daughter (28). My son, has seen me dressed (sans wig and makeup) almost everyday, and he has no problems with it at all. My daughter has only seen a picture of me (with wig and makeup) and has not voiced an opinion one way or the other.

You know your kids best, so may have some idea of how accepting they are of alternative lifestyles. And you know how much they love you. So, if you feel it's necessary to tell them, then do so, or not, based on what you know about them.

[Di]

My 2..........
1)Talk it out with your wife...have to be a joint decision...it will be a part of her life too.

2)If you both agree...I would wait till your daughter that is home for the summer is about ready to go.............that is if she has friends around and so forth.......that way she would have time to digest it...and as you said so she will not feel uncomfortable.

But you know them...I do not and your wife will have to decide. Good Luck with whatever you decide.

[Angie G]

I'm not telling mine I can live without them knowing they are 32 and 37 :hugs:
Angie

[Sapphire]

You must try to imagine the impact on your relationship with your family members if you proceed as you would like to. There is a big difference between telling your family the truth about yourself and placing them in a situation where they encounter you “en femme” – even if it is your own home. There may be a great gap between how we perceive ourselves and how we are perceived by others; and in the case of crossdressers this gap can sometimes be very wide. The decision is yours but my advice would be to not fool yourself. Other crossdressers understand how you feel but but we are in the minority and must have regard for the world outside our hopes and aspirations.

[Holly]

Well, Sandra, my kids both know (son and daughter in their 20's, both married and living on their own). My daughter found out first... it wasn't planned. She came home one weekend for a surprise visit. She still has a house key and let herself in. I was still in my nightgown. Both she and my son had seen me in the past dressed up on Halloween... a lot of them :D. Although we had a few rough moments, she pretty much took it in stride and we are still very close. I'm still her daddy and she is my little girl. Shortly thereafter, my wife and I decided it would only be fair to tell our son as well, so we did. His biggest upset was that his sister found out before he did.

Sandra, if you and your wife took the time to instill good values in your children and taught them to respect everyone, irregardless of race, origin, creed, gender, sexual orientation, etc., then you can be confident of the result. Whatever you decide, I wish you and your family well.

[renee99]

Long hair and piercings? There's plausible denial for those. Nails, not so much. IMO

[MJ]

well i think you should come out. your kids are old enough to understand there gone .. now it's your turn to enjoy life go for it

[kimberly_f37]

I have been fighting the urge to ask my wife if I can come out of the closet to the kids. I would not be blatantly out so as to make them uncomfortable but I don't like having to skulk around my own house. I want to be able to wear what I want to wear in my own house and I want to be able to grow my hair out longer so I can style it like a woman's when I do go out. I prefer to be able to wear nice tops and my bras but it is taboo as of now to let the kids know about this side of me. I would always dress as there father when we are out together in public so as not to make them uncomfortable with my appearance.
Does anyone have any words of wisdom and advise to help me broach the subject.


I came out to my 2 Kids 8 years ago which there all grown up now and to my oldest grandchild at the age of 7 and that because my wife got tried of me running into the bathroom to wash off my make-=up and change my clothing !!
That was always a pain because I can Just get dressed up and with in min. I had to take it all off again so my wife told them I like to dress up in female clothing and that was that and there find with it..
My oldest granddaughter and I use to dress up together and what fun that was..! Since she 13 now she don't want to dress anymore which is OK I do dressing with out her..
I have other grand kids that some what knows because they were told, but not seen it all the way,
My youngest granddaughter of 3yrs calls me a girl-boy and she see me wear female Pj everyday with Boobs and I am not hiding much from her! And yes she will see me as a female in the near future..

Depending on how old they are to break the ice or to see what a person likes or dislike there always the Movie's. Uh What I mean is there is alot of movies that have CD's TS, TV in them, watch one and see what they say or see there expression when they see a man dressed-up I have done this with friends I have feel those friends out on what they like about a person and see if they can handle my CD some can and some I DON"T DON"T even tell because they think we are ALL Gay or such.. NOT NOT

Telling is someone is the hardest thing to say, "I am a Crossdresser" and yes talk with you wife alot over this before Coming Out!


Have A Great Day Gurl!!:hugs:

[bobi jean]

Are you sure they do not already know? The kids are old enough to know, and have been around long enough too. Ive got to agree with several of the others about the up-bringing of the children, how they were raised is a biggie when it come to accepting differances throught life and in all aspects of life not just gender issues.

[kimberly_f37]

[QUOTE=Holly;912047] Shortly thereafter, my wife and I decided it would only be fair to tell our son as well, so we did. His biggest upset was that his sister found out before he did.




LOL! Kids will be Kids when it come to want find out 1st !!!