where do I fit in?

[Mia001]

Hi everyone,

I'm a 34 year old guy who really enjoys cross dressing. The thing is that I've never really been into wigs, make up or femme names. Just clothes. Suffice to say I only get dressed at home.

From everything I've read this seems to an important part of cross dressing for a lot of people so I'm kind of wondering where I fit in.

Does anyone have any advice or info? Does anyone else cross dress the same way I do (clothes, undies but no make up or wig)?

Thanks for any help you can offer,

Mark.

[Wendy me]

ok mark welcome and just for the record .............no right or wrong to be a crossdresser .........some want it all from pantys to srs ............some it just is enough to wear a pair of panty hose ..............

yes you fit in right here ............enjoy what makes you happy....................
and kick up your feet your home now sister.................

[Mia001]

Hi,

Thanks for the welcome. I appreciate it.

M

[Wendy me]

your family now...........just some of the relitives are just a tad chatty............

[donnie123abc1]

We're all round pegs trying to fit into a square hole.(or a size 10 trying to fit into a size 4). Just be true to yourself. Everything else will fall into place.


XXX000

Dawn Marrie

[Mia001]

Hi,

Thanks for the kind words. I'm thinking of going along to a support group tomorrow and, considering I've never been to anything like that, was a bit unsure.

I think I'll go and find an outfit to wear when I'm there.

M

[Priscilla1018]

Hi,

Thanks for the kind words. I'm thinking of going along to a support group tomorrow and, considering I've never been to anything like that, was a bit unsure.

I think I'll go and find an outfit to wear when I'm there.

M

Hi M,

Welcome to our family,we're a friendly and chatty bunch.Between you and me,I think they are crazy,and I'm not so sure about you.I used to be crazy,but I'm MUCH better now.

Love and Hugs,
Priscilla

Ps, Thank you Wendy.

[Mia001]

Hi Priscilla,

Well, if everyone's a bit crazy here then I know I'm on the same wavelength as you.

Mark.

[ToniB]

Marko,

I'm like you, only clothes and lingerie, and only at home. I'd love to go further (but not too far) but my wife does not approve of CDing at all, and would probably thow a fit if she knew what I do and say here. Since I found she was the best woman in the world for me almost 40 years ago, I'd put her before my CD activities every time, so I'm restricted to what I can do when she's not here.

When I look in the mirror, I'm disappointed that there's a male head on a woman's body, so I would go for the make-up and wig if I had the chance, just to complete the look, but I'm not sure I've got the guts to go out and try to pass. It'll remain my fantasy! I have been out on the patio in the dark fully dressed, heels and all, but that's as far as it goes.

Welcome to the "clothes only" club.

ToniB

[Mia001]

Hi Toni,

Sounds like you've got your prioroties right.

The thing is that I'm quite happy with just clothes. I don't have any great desire to wear make up or wig.

It's been good to get so much feedback from everyone here. It's given me the need to go along tomorrow night (if it's on).

Thanks for the support.

Mark.

[malecynthia]

You've come to the right place, Marko. I had the feeling that everyone else in these forums was a fully blown tv, ts, tg or whatever else, going out in public as passable females. I was wrong. I never wear a wig or make up in public - or in private for that matter, although my wife may have some ideas about make up. That would be a different thread though. Watch this space.
What I have found here is acceptance and understanding. I was a square peg trying to fit into a round hole until I became a round peg and discovered all the holes are different shapes. I think the only way I'll get the exact shape of hole is to have it custom made. In the meantime, I'm happy to have met some of the nicest people on the internet.
Cynthia.

[Maddie Knight]

There are no rules for cd'ing.
Do what you want to do.
Your welcome here no matter how far into cd'ing you go.

[DonnaT]

Turn in your CDing card Marko! LOL

For the longest I only wore the lingerie, but progressed to wig and makeup in December. This was in preparation for my first outing, so if it hadn't been for the outing, I'd still be where you are Marko.

It doesn't matter what you wear, it's how you feel about what you do wear.

[Mia001]

Cynthia,

Thanks for the helpful words. It's good to know I'm not the only amateur here.

I already see what you mean about acceptance and understanding. All you have to do is look at the other messages in this thread to see that. You're absolutely right. I've definately come to the right place.

Mark.

[Mia001]

Maddie,

Thanks for the support. I'me beginning to see the "no rules" approach. I was starting to think everyone else who cross dressed went the whole hog.

Thanks,

Mark.

[Mia001]

Hi Donna,

Thanks for the insight. You struck a chord with what you said. Because I only dress at home I never really bothered with shoes. When I was still undecided about going along to the Glasgow support group I thought I should get some (didn't want to wander about in my bare feet).

With that in mind I bought a pair of knee boots on my way home from work on Friday. I got dressed that night and was really impressed with the result. I'm not sure how I would have looked to anyone else if they'd seen me but I felt great.

Thanks for the encouragement,

Mark.

[alba68]

Hi Marko. Hello and welcome. This is the best place to 'fit in'. Everyone is friendly and helpful. I'm like you but I did try wig and make up (photos are in this forum somewhere) but wasn't sure with the results. Bless the girls though, they all said I looked great. I may try again. It's up to you what you wanna do. Be yourself and enjoy. :)

[Mia001]

Thanks Alba,

I can see how supportive it is here from all the great feedback I've had today. It's made me feel a lot more confident and a lot more secure about only cross dressing part way.

Like I said, the boots were a pleasant surprise so who knows?

Mark.

[mand]

Hello Marko, you fit in wherever you want to, I was like you in my twenties, in my thirties I moved on to full dressing you know wigs make up the full works, now in my forties I live nearly full time dressed. I present myself to the world as a female, everyone I dont hide it anymore.

We are all TG to some degree, it's just a case of finding what is right for you and being happy with were you're at.
It really is a journey with no rules, honest. I think the best advice is go with it, fighting doesn't work, and never be ashamed of being TG. Trust me over the years I've done all the guilt trips and the purging, but I've still ended up a full timer.

love and best wishes mand xxx

[Julie York]

I was a square peg trying to fit into a round hole until I became a round peg and discovered all the holes are different shapes. Cynthia.

FILTH!....FILTH!

Where's the Moderator! Outragious!!!!

(Puts hand in air)...MISS!.....MISS!


[I found it very reassuring that this forum allows tolerance for people without even a peg or a hole.......Did did that come out right?]

[Mia001]

Hi Mand,

It's good to hear from you. I think I'm quite happy with where I am regarding cross dressing for now. The undies clothes and (recently) boots are just what's needed for me to feel great. I get a real buzz from that so I'm happy with it.

The kind words from you and everyone else tonight have been fantastic. I'm really at me ease with the whole thing now.

Cheers,

Mark.

[Mia001]

Julie,

I think you may be writing your own punchlines here. You must have a mind like a Welsh reilway.

One track and dirty. LOL.

Take care,

Mark.

[mand]

Hi Mand,

It's good to hear from you. I think I'm quite happy with where I am regarding cross dressing for now. The undies clothes and (recently) boots are just what's needed for me to feel great. I get a real buzz from that so I'm happy with it.

The kind words from you and everyone else tonight have been fantastic. I'm really at me ease with the whole thing now.

Cheers,

Mark.


So pleased to hear it Marko, and just remember theres a whole forum of tg's here to discuss any aspect of it with you. Thats the good thing about places like this you're not left alone wondering if you're the only one.


love mand xxx

[Mia001]

Hi,

You're not kidding. The response has been great. A big thanks to everyone. My confidence is way up now and you've really given me food for thought

I'm herading off now but big thanks to all of you.

I'll let you know how I get on tomorrow night.

Take care everyone,

Mark.

[Virginia]

MarkO,
If you have the intestinal fortitude to go to a support group it is important that you go. The internet is one thing, but to actually see and meet real crossdressers just furthur confirms where you are and where you may (or may not) want to go! I would make one recommendation, buying the clothes is fun wearing them is even more funner, but going out in public is quite another story. I tell people considering that big step, remember you are an ambassador for those of your sisters "still in the closet" they depend on us who do go out to present as women and to not be preceived as "just a guy in a dress." i.e., the true crossdresser. I don't need to tell you feminine mannerisms for "us" are difficult if not impossible to master without a lot of practice. We can be read so many ways, not just make-up, dress, walk, but mannerisms, hand gestures, tilt of the head, smiles. Practice, practice, practice. Go to a Mall and just observe women - absolutely fasinating creatures!!!! Note how they can take a mental picture of someone so discretely and unless you are atune to it you will never see it. They will file that picture in their mind and later take it apart bit by bit it is absolutely amazing. Good luck and let us hear how you are doing.
Virginia

[malecynthia]

Ooh Julie, you ARE awful - but I like you! There was me being all innocent. Hang on! "me" and "innocent" in the same sentence? Maybe I'm just an oxy moron. It's good to have a laugh though, isn't it?
Cynthia.

[Roberta..]

A hearty welcome to Marko.

If you don't know by now, it aint what you wear as much as it is how it makes you feel. Go slow, and enjoy your adventure.

Sincerely, Roberta..

[Holly]

Hi Marko,

I'm a little late to the thread... sorry. I can't think of much to add to what the other girls have said. Everyone is welcome here... from underwear to everywhere! In fact that is one of the benefits here. You see, if or when you decide to progress in your CDing, there will be girls here who can help and assist who are already there. And in the meantime, we'll all be here to encourage and support in any way we can. Looking forward to hearing about your outing.

[jamib]

thanks holly. it get lonely

[Darlene.]

Cynthia,

Thanks for the helpful words. It's good to know I'm not the only amateur here.

I already see what you mean about acceptance and understanding. All you have to do is look at the other messages in this thread to see that. You're absolutely right. I've definately come to the right place.

Mark.

Hey Marko I would not consider you an amateur. You bring your own experience here, and I am sure you will have something to share that will help others along the way, who may not be quite as advanced as you are. That is really all it is about it, not much more to it than that.

Welcome.

Love Darlene.

[Tristen Cox]

If you wear women's clothes like maybe you're one of those crossdresser types. Uhm what do they look like? I dunno never meet one :D

[Tristen Cox]

FILTH!....FILTH!

Where's the Moderator! Outragious!!!!

(Puts hand in air)...MISS!.....MISS!


[I found it very reassuring that this forum allows tolerance for people without even a peg or a hole.......Did did that come out right?]
Even worse... How about people with a whole peg, or a peghole? :p Right somebody get the moderator!

[Mia001]

Hey Girls,

Thanks for the feedback and support. The place I'm going to tonight has changing facilities so I won't be getting dressed until I get there.

I was told that a lot of people don't get dressed the first time they go as it's less stressful on the first visit and it lets them see what's going on. I'm taking some things along and I'm actually quite looking forward to it. Especially with everyone being so kind here. It's been a big help.

Thanks to everyone who replied.

Mark.

[Elinor]

Marko another girl from Scotland welcome girlfriend.

Hey you are begining an adventure just be yourself a janegirl or lad in a skirt,
just enjoy the feeling take one feminine step at a time who knows where you will be in a few years time perhaps taking a step into the TV SCOTLAND parade.

Or walking on Pride Day in a skirt in Glasgow even if you make a start in a kilt.

[Mia001]

Hi Elinor,

Thanks for your words of encouragement. I think you hit the nail on the head. I seem to fit into the "lad in a skirt" category for the moment anyway.

It's really good to hear from another Scot too.

Take care,

Marko.

[Mia001]

Hi everyone,

I went along to the support group in Glasgow (Crosslynx). As soon as I went in they showed me where the changing rooms were which suited me as I was quite keen to get dressed on my first visit anyway.

Things seemed to go quite well. There was a demonstration of how a facial is done, eyebrow waxing and some other bits. There's a bar downstairs in the centre where we're welcome to go but, being on my own and not really knowing anyone very well, I just left it this time. Maybe I'll go on my next visit.

They did seem quite keen that I should have a femme name and were quite surprised that I wasn't really bothered. Maybe they can make one up for me?

All in all quite an enjoyable experience.

Mark.

[Holly]

Good for you, Marko! I'm so glad that it went well for you. Are you going to go back?

Now about the name... Why don't you choose your own? I mean, how often do we get to name ourselves? What femme name fits you, your personality? Is there a female in your life you would like to emulate? If your just fresh out of ideas, I'm sure the ladies here would be happy to offer suggestions... but you should pick! I'll start... how about Margaret?

[Wendy me]

girlfreind i just never even wanted to fit in any were my whole life way outside that box thing.............even with my cding............always a loner then one day i got a
coumpter......the internet ...........you could type anything in and bam your there...
i found this place lurked a while and thought shi_ i just might join ......i did i am here
grown and learned so mutch.........and met girls like me......or some what like me
and freinds all over the world .............now some short 4000 and something posts latter well i feel like i fit in some were.........

so jump on in keep your hands and feet inside the ride........and hold on ....................
your abought to fine out .............ohhhhhhh yarrrrrrrrrrrrr............................

[donnie123abc1]

And we're grateful to have you here, Wendy. Free spirits are hard to find nowadays.


Dawn Marrie

[Mia001]

Hi Holly,

The point I was trying to make about a femme name is that it's not something that really bothers me. I'm quite happy to be me dressed up. They seemed to think it was an essential though. I was actually quite surprised there wasn't someone else there like me who still uses their male name. Maybe I'm just a bit strange. Okay, no maybe about it. Lol.

Thanks for the suggestion though.

Mark.

[Mia001]

Thanks Wendy,

Some food for thought there.

Mark.

[racquel]

Marko.......Maxine?
Glad to have you aboard.

[Wendy me]

just a nouther thought as you get a little older as we all do . and as we grow more shure as to who is or who this person we are is going . and our own selfe worth .
and be come happy with who or what you are.........

then in a new light you are just you that simple ................you are ...........maybe not perfit .............not wrong but not all ways right
..............you fit in just being you.............now were dose the rest of the people out there fit in your little world

.........go on make a list your world want to fill it with closed minded people??????????
some fome for people that hate??????????how abought people that pass judjment on you because your like that group of people????????????? ok so thay won't be on the list ..............but thay are still out there ......................just not fitting in your ........
world or life..........intresting??????????

you are you , people or groups that can't see you as you ..................pass them over thay don't desirive to have you...........their loss...........your gain...........


thats it the brain needs coffie..............

[Tiger]

Hi Marko and everyone else


Hi everyone,

I'm a 34 year old guy who really enjoys cross dressing. The thing is that I've never really been into wigs, make up or femme names. Just clothes. Suffice to say I only get dressed at home.

From everything I've read this seems to an important part of cross dressing for a lot of people so I'm kind of wondering where I fit in.

Does anyone have any advice or info? Does anyone else cross dress the same way I do (clothes, undies but no make up or wig)?

Thanks for any help you can offer,

Mark.

I agree with you and x-dress in a similar way. I only go for the clothes and dress only at home (exception: tights/pantyhose and certain jeans).

I can't see why a x-dresser would be defined by going all the way. There is also partial cross dressing, which seemingly is what you or I do: Wearing one or a couple of 'feminine' items, while not dressing up fully (the advantage might be, that we can dress up more often, when it comes to underwear or trousers). And from the different answers it seems that there are more around here, who are partial cross dressers.

One of the many good things about being gender diverse or TG (whatever term you like) is, that everyone is different. I never felt comfortable with the strict categories. I'm cross dressing, which makes me a cross dresser, yes – I have identified with females rather than males since before puberty and have constantly thoughts about changing gender representation occasionally, which makes me transgendered – and I can't even rule out that I'm a secondary TS (i.e. a "late bloomer"), as I have struggled with gender identity since I was a child.
I think we should leave categories behind when they become an obstacle.

Best
Tiger

[Wendy me]

tiger welcome to the forum enjoy and look around we are here 24 hours a day who needs to sleep ..................your going to love it here............

[Melissa A.]

Welcome Marko,

The point is, that as long as you are honest and genuine, you will always have friends here who are happy to see you. How you choose to express yourself is part of the fun. We discuss that and lots of other stuff here, but never in a judgemental way. The diversity of this forum is one of it's strengths.

We're all here to listen, learn, and help, when we can. Stick around, you won't regret it!

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[Holly]

Mark,

I hope I didn't give the wrong impression. If you're content, doing what you do and being called by any name, that's just fine! Tiger actually nailed it (Hi Tiger, and welcome!) when she said catagories can (and do) get in the way. No one here will judge you for what level of crossdressing you participate at or what you want to call yourself. You'll find your own comfort zone. Who are we to tell you different? My only suggestion is for you to enjoy yourself here and explore. You may be perfectly content to stay right where you are or you may see a different path that sparks an interest in you... your choice. The rest of us? We're just here to help and encourage!

[stevie h]

hi marko

welcome to what i know is the friendliest site on the net. My advice to you,

for what its worth is to go with what you feel is right for you.

I am now 40 something, but over the years i've been and experienced many

colours of tg. The range of different types is awesome as you will find out if

you stick around here.

Now I'm settled, sort of in what i like. My partner is happy, i'm happy.

I get the pull now and again to go further but i try to stay.

You have to find your own comfortable niche in your own mind.

God I,m no expert.

I think however you must balance between whats possible and probable.

The biggest piece of advice i can though is to enjoy. You won't get a

second chance.




love


stevie.


xx


ps sorry i,ve not posted for a while. Been away for awhile. This site is so

cool. love you all.

[Mia001]

Hi Raquel,

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll bear it in mind,

Mark.

[Mia001]

Hi Wendy,

Thanks for the advice. Quite deep but I think I got it. You got me thinking.

Mark.

[Mia001]

Hi Tiger,

You made a lot of sense. If I do have to be in a category then it looks as though I'm in good company. I'm just trying to make some sense of this and you've really helped.

As you can see from reading this thread there's a lot of support here and everyone seems really friendly. I've only been coming here for a few days and already feel like part of the furniture so dpn't be shy. Share your thoughts.

Mark.

[Mia001]

Melissa,

Thanks for the encouragement. I think what you're saying has been borne out by all of the replies I've had in this thread and also from looking at a few other threads on the site.

Mark.

[Mia001]

Holly,

You didn't give the wrong impression. So, please don't worry about that. Between what you and everyone else here has said I can see I'm really going to enjoy visiting these forums. The help and support I've had from you all over the past few days has been great and I just want to say a big thanks to you all.

Mark.

[Mia001]

Hi Stevie,

Thanks for replying. I certainly do enjoy my crossdressing. I'm sure everyone here would agree that it's a lot of fun. You've obviously found a good balance and I think I'm still finding that. I think I know where I want to be and it's just a case of making sense of this (and other things in my life) so that I'm better able to merge them all.

I'm sure I'll get there in the end. LOL.

Thanks,

Mark.

[Tiger]

Hi wendy me and Holly,
and everybody else

and thanks for your welcome. Seems to be a good place here.

Thanks also for the tolerant discussion here and elsewhere.

I hope I'll find some more time to introduce myself at the proper place.

regards
Tiger