Getting Suspicious that My Sister Knows

[Valerie Nicole]

Yes, that's right...I know I have sworn that there is no way she could know, but I think she at least suspects something. Just to recap some things I have already posted on this forum, you might want to view http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=60160 and http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=58724

Well last night, we had another somewhat coincidental conversation. We were watching tv, and there was a commercial on for some kind of candy. My sister said that the commercial made her want something that it wasn't advertising. I had seen this commercial many times before, and I figured I knew what it was: the dress that the woman was wearing. In fact, I have had that same thought every time I've seen that commercial.

Well, I played dumb, pretending not to know anything about it and I said, "Oh? Why's that?" and stuff along those lines. I'm starting to think now though that she suspects something about me, even if she doesn't know what it is. She knows that I've watched "What Not to Wear" with her several times, and not appeared bored (just the opposite!).

I don't know whether she knows anything, or what she knows if she does know anything. I'm not ready to approach her yet, but I might ask my mom about it, because my sister would probably go to her if she suspected anything, and would almost definitely go to her if she had managed to confirm anything.

[Marla S]

Why do you worry so much about your sister ?
Would there be a problem if she knows (Your parents know, right ?)

From what you have written, I see no indication that she suspects something. Can't see anything special.

[crimsoncage GG]

Valerie I think a nice candid conversation with your sister over a shared favorite food and beverage combo is an order. When I told my brother about my alternative lifestyle and about Natasha...he asked "did you tell him about me?" My brother experimented with cding and he also has the same alternative lifestyle I do! Family will surprise you, it sounds like you and your sister are close are you just bursting at the seams to tell her?
Maybe you should.

[Valerie Nicole]

Family will surprise you, it sounds like you and your sister are close are you just bursting at the seams to tell her?

Yes and no. On the one hand...telling her could be great...on the other...not so. She has extremely traditional and conservative values, and a serious boyfriend who would no doubt find out seconds after she does. These are my two biggest concerns. If I were to tell her, it would be for purely selfish reasons. It would be so that I wouldn't have to hide my stuff in a garbage bag in my closet, or be worried that she'll use my laptop without asking me, and find this site in my history.

There will also be hard questions with coming out to her. She will no doubt ask me if I've used her clothes...which I have, more times than I can count. I don't know whether to answer that question honestly or not. Also, she is prone to anger, and when she gets anger, she does rash things. I am concerned (although this is a minor concern because I am not ashamed of who I am) that in a fit of rage she might out me to someone else.

So there are reasons to tell her, and reasons not to. I get the feeling that at this point she must at least suspect something, though I'm not sure where that would come from. My parents said that they never suspected a thing, they just had the feeling that something was "wrong" and that they were worried about me. Apparently it was a relief to find out what it was (for my mom, anyway).

[bobi jean]

COME ON VALERIE, what in the world are you waiting for? For her to ask if you crossdress? Ask if she would like to go shopping with you, ask her what she thinks of men dressing up like women, ask her anything but you need to get this out in the open to her because if you don't you are going to drive yourself nut worring about whether she knows or not.
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[crimsoncage GG]

well ok Val, if you don't think you can trust the sister you grew up with ...I can understand and relate to that. My sister doesn't know about Natasha but she wouldn't care either. It would be just another crazy thing I do.

[JenniferMBlack]

Wow this reminds me of my sister and myself. I would have swore she knew because of all the times she jokingly said something about i should buy something so she could get a second one for half off or what ever. of course I just laughed and such all the while wondering if she knew. Well long story short she didn't when I eventually told her but to no matter she didn't really care. Felt good to get it out there though.
So I would have to say tell her she might suprise you >

[Chantelle CD]

Val i totaly know what you mean, and worrie about telling her.

I told my mom when i was in a bad time in my life, and asked her not tell anyone especialy my one sister, well she blabed it to her, this sister is somewhat opinoated, and hard, i know she wouldnt acept me, well she never really did anyways, she always never looked at me right, and that hurt, but now she knows this, i havent spoken to her since, and honestly, i dont want to if she is going to be like this.

If you feel even the slightest worrie that it will change your relationship, dont tell her, she doesnt have to know.

What happend when you were watching that comercial? you never finished that story :)

Be yourself around her, or how you are normaly, and wait for hints that she may know, watch and read how you think it will go over, and maybe in time you can tell her, its only a bit of time right :)

[DonnaT]

Well, your second comment in this thread clearly indicates that she does not know, IMHO.

If she is as concervative as you say, and gets angry like you say, then she would have already confronted you.

[Leah B]

Strong evidence can stare someone in the face and they might still not know. It just doesn't occur to people usually that someone they know crossdresses. Chalk it up to people believing what they want to believe

[Sinthia]

I am one of two girls and six boys. Four years ago my wife filed for divorce because of my crossdressing. I told my younger sister and four of my brothers, and their spouses, the reason. Everyone said to do whatever makes me happy. Not a one has ever said a negative word about my pasttime. Two of my nieces and their husbands know, and still include me in their lives. I say to you, from experience, do not be afraid to tell someone about your crossdressing. It is not a bad thing to do, and you are not hurting anyone. The only negative comments will come from narrow-minded individuals, and you do not need them in your life.

[Malena]

You're reading waaaay too much into those convos.