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Calliope
06-26-2007, 03:26 PM
See that picture? That was me:
Grass stained shirt and dusty knees.
And I know things have gotta change,
They got pills to sell, they've got implants to put in,
They've got implants to remove;
But I am not forgetting
That I was a boy too.

[...]

I tell the man I'm with about the other life I lived;
And I say now you're top gun, I have lost and you have won.
And he says "Oh no, oh no, can't you see
When I was a girl, my mom and I, we always talked;
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked
And I could always cry, now even when I'm alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness -

"But I was a girl too.
And you were just like me,
And I was just like you."

(When I was a Boy - Dar Williams.)


I just hit the wall one morning (sure, there were a few psychological presagements along the way... I started to see all that "passing" was the world humoring me; I kept saying "I can't really afford all this maintenance") and, instead of shaving, lotioning, plucking, makingup and everything else, I simply stepped out. Like, naked, unplugged, raw.

Three days later, a beard (amazing how fast it all grows back!), a pair of carpenter blue jeans, T-shirt, vest, straw "cowboy" hat and, presto, a man (more or less). Neil Youngish. Got read as a woman once or twice nevertheless. Hilarious, that. Over at the chichi earring store, the lady sneers, "We don't have earrings for men." Oh, horrors (I flip my hair, revealing dangly earrings).

So, what happened to me?

I think I just got exhausted by all the upkeep. Not bourgeois enough to afford the hormones and all, it's all labor muscle in the morning. It really does feel liberating to stop worrying about so many appearance details every second of the day. I just couldn't bring myself (poor as hell) to go buying another expensive skirt or whatever to keep the buzz on.

Actually, quitting cigarettes occupies more of my current mental strain.

Went up to Haight-Ashbury the other day and looked around. Aha! Choosing one way or another seems just dumb. Back to the hippie: "Is it a boy or a girl?" Now I'm readying my sorry ass to leave Silicon Valley (blech!) and, alas, my kids (who are leaving my world, whatever I do, thanks to their vicious mother), and go do what I was so passionately gonna do ten years ago.

Join a commune (a particular commune) where all this gender jazz doesn't matter, matters by personal choice, whatever, there's deeper human stuff goin' on. Half the guys there in the photo look just like Butterfly Bill! The other half look like Andrea Dworkin! No one drives cars. No one yaks on a cell phone. No one votes Republican. No one stands in front of a cash register all day!

I'm there!

But - it was marvelous spending a full year en femme. (My New Member Introduction was June 30, '06.) A real education! A trip! Fascinating. Probably saved my life (considering the context [details mercifully omitted]). I wouldn't trade that year for anything!

And best wishes to everyone here - especially the people I actually liked !




Wanna play cricket on the green
Ride my bike across the stream;
Cut myself and see my blood
Wanna come home all covered in mud.

(I'm a Boy - The Who.)

Kate Simmons
06-26-2007, 03:32 PM
I just think it's great that you are you Calliope. That's what it is all about really.;):hugs::happy::thumbsup:

Jenna1561
06-26-2007, 04:15 PM
Calliope, I will miss your posts, they are ALWAYS thought provoking and a genuine inspiration for self-examination, at least for me. I'm terribly sorry to hear about your children being taken out of your world - I so hope that situation may right itself in the future.

As for who you are, you have never been anything but an individual, one who travels a unique road in this world and I wish you the best that this life has to offer you. Enjoy life and just BE. "I AM," no need to add more or think that sentence is unfinished. It is what it is. You are what you are. When I think of you, many images and thoughts swirl through my mind, but in the end, you embody that simple statement and bring it to life like no one else I know.

My love, thoughts and prayers are with you and your children. Vaya con Dios.


Jenna

Marla S
06-26-2007, 04:55 PM
Farewell ... should I say Steppenwolf

Glad I've met you.

Maggie Kay
06-26-2007, 05:41 PM
I too have enjoyed your posts. You remind me of a friend I knew back in HS, Denny. Denny was always trying new things and was the flower child in our community. He took off hitchhiking across the country to get to SF in 1969. When he finally returned, he had super 8 movies of his experience and stories that amazed me. Nearly killed in a town in Wyoming because of his long hair, mixing it up with the hippies in Haight Ashbury and some wild parties. I always admired his sense of adventure which brings me back to you. No matter how it ends, you have really experienced it more than most. For good or bad, I respect that you tried to live it to the fullest. Thanks again for letting us go along for the ride.

AmberTG
06-26-2007, 07:42 PM
Hey, I'm gonna miss you too! I've always enjoyed your unique point of view, it has always been food for thought for me. Take care of yourself and know that there's people that will think about you fondly.

Kimberley
06-26-2007, 11:38 PM
I will certainly miss your presence and insights.

The one thing I have learned about myself is that despite my desires, I have both genders mixed into this personality. While a great deal of the male side was "learned" it is none the less an intrinsic part of me; not my first choice but life experience has given me that.

Calliope, I am sure you can relate to this and make your choices day by day as you feel. The freedom you have found and will continue to find will be just another part of your journey, one that many of us wish we could join with you.

We will wait for you to return. Making a choice doesnt mean you have to leave us. We will always want to hear of your travels. I for one will miss you.

:hugs:
Kimberley

Stephenie S
06-29-2007, 09:38 PM
OMG, has it been a year already? Whew!!

Stephie

melissaK
06-30-2007, 12:40 AM
Here's hoping you come back by to read everyones toasts to your farewell . . . your posts are always a catalyst for critical thought. So intense your thinking . . . I think you called it, you hit a wall. Goes that way in the life of most all TS/TGs. Call it a purge, call it a break, call it back in the closet, call it moving on.

Go escape the grinding daily millieu of man's civilization, go heal in the commune. Monastaries are a fine and ancient tradition to heal ones soul. You'll know when you are ready to emerge and contribute to man's march through evolutionary time. You have some kids out there, and after a rest, maybe the evilness of their mother will no longer irk you and you will be immune to her. Then you can be there for the kids - not for you, not for her, just for them.

You get what anyone gets, you get a lifetime.

Hugs,
'lissa

Calliope
07-11-2007, 02:51 PM
I really appreciate all the warmth and good will! There is something very soothing about knowing this forum exists.

Still waiting to hear from either of the two egalitarian intentional communities I've contacted. Alas, no future for me in Menlo Park. Every place I go is some place that rejected my application. Grrr!

Interesting daytrip to SF yesterday. I saw lots of atomized gender variance - grunger with hot pink nails; bohemian scruff w/ skirt; and myself - selling off my dresses ... only to get more earrings!

Ballad of a Ladyman. It's all one song. MtFt? is how I characterize myself presently. More when events merit. Best to everyone.

terrinoble
07-11-2007, 02:57 PM
I love Dar Williams, and that song is probably my favorite of hers.

http://terrinoble.com/wr-terridar.jpg

Let me add that I wish you well... and may you be happy.