Interesting conversation

[Marla]

Recently my brother in law and our wives were discussing gays. I said that a persons sexual preference didnt really affect my life and it was OK with me. He then said that it was like a man wearing women's clothes during their free time and that didnt matter either. Of course I agreed, and that ended the conversation. Now Im wondering the obvious. Who was he talking about. I dont think he was talking about me but could he have been talking about himself?
I would really like to know if he cds but I guess I wont ask.... or should I?
Just a question for the group. Marla

[Chrysoprase]

Recently my brother in law and our wives were discussing gays. I said that a persons sexual preference didnt really affect my life and it was OK with me. He then said that it was like a man wearing women's clothes during their free time and that didnt matter either. Of course I agreed, and that ended the conversation. Now Im wondering the obvious. Who was he talking about. I dont think he was talking about me but could he have been talking about himself?
I would really like to know if he cds but I guess I wont ask.... or should I?
Just a question for the group. Marla

He was most likely talking about you.
When you choose to hide, you also choose to be caught eventually. At some point that constant vigil failed and you left something out, left something on, said something or made a movement that revealed yourself. It always happens.

[bobi jean]

Recently my brother in law and our wives were discussing gays. I said that a persons sexual preference didnt really affect my life and it was OK with me. He then said that it was like a man wearing women's clothes during their free time and that didnt matter either. Of course I agreed, and that ended the conversation. Now Im wondering the obvious. Who was he talking about. I dont think he was talking about me but could he have been talking about himself?
I would really like to know if he cds but I guess I wont ask.... or should I?
Just a question for the group. Marla

I am not sure how he would connect GAY and CROSSDRESSING, guess one would have to have been there. I am a crossdresser, but I am not gay, I know gay men and women that are not crossdressers, and I know crossdressing men that are gay but the percentage is only about 1% maybe even 2% in that catagory.
just how did, and who started the conversation about gay lifestyles anyway?
Apparently you are supposedly (both couples) in heterosexual and hopefully monogamous(sp) relationships. I know quite well how curiousity can get the best of us somehow but would it really matter if he were a crossdresser, or a gay crossdresser?

[LeeAnn_cd]

You might be opening up a can of worms. Does anyone know you dress? or is it something that you like to keep to yourself? or if no one knows you dress are you ready to come out with it? It might be best to leave it be. He could of innocently said it since you where on the subject of gays. Alot of people associate dressing in womens clothes as part of being gay. I would think long and hard on it.

[Chrysoprase]

I am not sure how he would connect GAY and CROSSDRESSING, guess one would have to have been there. I am a crossdresser, but I am not gay, I know gay men and women that are not crossdressers, and I know crossdressing men that are gay but the percentage is only about 1% maybe even 2% in that catagory.
just how did, and who started the conversation about gay lifestyles anyway?
Apparently you are supposedly (both couples) in heterosexual and hopefully monogamous(sp) relationships. I know quite well how curiousity can get the best of us somehow but would it really matter if he were a crossdresser, or a gay crossdresser?

Please don't make up statistics that even professionals don't have the data to verify to prove to people that your strait and a crossdresser.

[bobi jean]

Please don't make up statistics that even professionals don't have the data to verify to prove to people that your strait.

% of crossdressers/gays crossdressing gays all that other stuff that I know personally. thank you for bringing that up tho, I should have stated that in my post. and that would be "you're strait"....

[Marla S]

Perhaps he neither refered to you nor to himself.

IMO in most peoples eyes CDing and homosexuality are interchangeable.
The one starts with gay, the other answers with CDing or the other way round. Just stereotyping I guess.

[Alice B]

Just leave it alone. If he knows, suspects or is a participant he will let you know in time. If your wife knows that you CD, you might ask her what she thought of the conversation or if she had somehow had let his wife know.:happy:

[KandisTX]

I'm with Alice B on this one. Leave it alone. Don't read into his statements, it may well have been just a stereotypical lumping together of all of the alternative lifestyles.

Kandis:love:

[Marla]

Im pretty sure my wife knows but is non confrontational about everything. I dont relate gay and crossdressing(even though Im bi). I guess my point was that if he was talking about himself, I would really like to know so I could support him and discuss it.
He was career Navy and it would surprise a lot of people, but not me of course.
I was a teacher for 36 years and it didnt affect anyones life, but its been a needed relief for me over the years. I consider Marla to be my true self and I wish I coud become her 24/7.

[KandisTX]

Actually I have found that a large number of CDers are prior military. I'm not sure why that is, unless it goes back to the whole "I have to be a man" aspect we are taught growing up, and "Nothing is more manly than being a soldier" type mentality sets in. ~shrug~

Kandis:love:

[RebeccaLynne]

Marla, the crossdressing was referenced during a general conversation of alternative lifestyles. I'm of the belief that your brother-in-law has his suspicions regarding your interest in that area. He may have been testing you for a reaction. Best to let the matter go for now, I've a feeling it'll come up again. Allows you time to decide just how candid you care to be.

[renee99]

That's what I thought too, they are very similar in that they are both things generally kept in the closet, don't hurt anyone, are not illegal, and parents usually have an idea but frequently don't want to know for a fact. So that may have been the connection. What else fits in that category?

[DonnaT]

Marla, ask your wife if she told him about you. If not, then he may have been talking about himself.

And he's already stated he has no problem with it, so if you told him about yourself (if your comfortable about that) there shouldn't be any repercussions.

[nataliecd77]

Actually I have found that a large number of CDers are prior military. I'm not sure why that is, unless it goes back to the whole "I have to be a man" aspect we are taught growing up, and "Nothing is more manly than being a soldier" type mentality sets in. ~shrug~

Kandis:love:

You know that's a very valid point I think. But It could be taken another way I guess.
When I was in the Army, I had a SGM give a safety briefing before a long weekend. The gist of this brief was, " not to go out and do anything STUPID,notice I didn't say not to take risks," he says" by nature all of you are risk takers! Don't beleive me all of you left everything you ever knew and joined the army, if that isn't a risk what is?"

That gave me a lot of food for thought, especially knowing as many gay, bi lesbian and crossdressers as I did when I was in the military. Makes me wonder if that lil bit of risk taker in someone who would join the military might also be the someones who would try some form of "alternative" lifestyles.
Just my take on it but I'd love to hear ya'lls thought on it.
Natalie

[susie evans]

i would leave that conversation alone and see what happens i have beenthere before and it could go either way at this point :hugs:

susie

[SandyR]

Ok, just my thought. I was in a meeting not to long ago at work, and out of no where the discusion turned to CD'ers. Well long story made short, 2 of us said "I really have no issue men who like to wear womens cloths". Thinking back on it now, pretty sure we both have something in common.

SandyR

[NZ_Dawn]

Yes, my reaction to a similar conversation would have been similar. I agree: “If he knows, suspects or is a participant he will let you know in time.”. You suggest that you are “pretty sure your wife knows” What if she is not sure and is actually trying to verify this? Have you considered discussing this with her in depth so that you are both sure first, before considering the brother-in-law’s angle?
My wife knows but we have kept this to ourselves. (I believe) however I also wonder if she may inadvertently let it out somehow one day or give a hint of my CD in general conversation. Like keeping it a secret I also anticipate that one day the secret will be revealed (by accident or purpose).
I admire that you would want to offer support and help him. If this is something he wants he may broach the subject in open again or privately with you at some later stage (if he is sure) Maybe he is testing the waters? Maybe it was just one of those general conversations.
I'm with Alice B and others on this one. Leave this conversation; don’t put to much into it…but…talk to your wife and clarify your situation with her. Could she be wanting to know more about you but unsure how to go about asking directly?