Came out to my SO & feel better about myself

[Davinnia]

In my last post a while ago, I said how confused & guilty I felt. The advice given made made me think hard & I came to realise that my feelings were due to not being totally honest with my wife. We have just a lovely weekend away together away from anyone & in the evening I opened up to her. I told her I had been a CD since childhood & had managed to keep it a secret my entire life. With my wife I've worn nighties, lipstick, painted my nails so she "knew" up to a point.The guilt dropped away when I said"I'm a crossdresser"
She still loves me & is trying to understand. Her fear is that I might run off with another CD or something. I am giving her assurance & lots of love. She hasn't seen me dressed & does not want me 'dressing for dinner "
We still have to establish ground rules about when I can dress & I'd love to go shopping with her to buy my own clothes [I've borrowed hers till now ]& we are the same size.
Thanks to all I've learned from the wonderful members of this forum I'm finally moving on[slowly] & I feel such a sense of relief coming out, so much angst & worry & conversations in my head have gone so I can deal with the reality of my marriage & the compromises needed to accomodate my CDing. My wife said I can talk whenever I need to & I'm going to show her some useful websites & help her understand I'm still the person she married.
Before I told her I felt bad & I thought after telling her I could feel either bad or much better which at least offered a choice. So glad I did come out. Hope that helps someone out there.

[Toyah]

I think you have done the right thing. Maybe you should show her the posts on the forum we are not all freaks or deviants ( hmmm there are still a few tho ) but show her that we are mostly run of the mill guys that like femmy clothes

[Frankie-Dear]

Davinnia, THAT is wonderful news!! Very best wishes to you both... Now will probably spawn a lot of questions and a lot of discussion. Keep the communication flowing. You're over the hardest part, now! :hugs::thumbsup:

[Di]

Good for you bet it feels like you have a huge weight lifted. Just beware there can be more questions and ups and downs..........she sounds wonderful!!!! In time maybe invite her here if she wants to talk to other GG's. Don't rush her in all your excitement........very happy for you both:hugs:

[marie354]

It's like a great weight has been lifted up off your shoulders, isn't it?
My GF has been great about it too. My wardrobe it growing by leaps and bounds now as well, as I'm sure your's will.
:hugs:

[loveaCD GG]

Congrats on telling your SO. But like Di GG said don't rush her. Thats what my SO tried to do and it would just make me mad. If you don't rush and push to much everything will be just fine. :happy:

[Sandra]

Glad you've told her now just take it real slow, answer all her questions as honestly as you can. It's not going to be easy all the time but if you both try to work together and listen to each other the it can work.

[Sheila]

I am glad that you have told your wife and that she is trying to understand, given time (maybe lots of it), talking, questions, up and downs (as DI GG said) and lots & lots of love from both of you, your relationship can grow. Good luck hun :hugs:

[Angie G]

I'm glad foy you Davinnia life is a lot better whehn the wife knows and is OK
with it :hugs:
Angie

[jennCD]

I just did the same with my SO, and am still awaiting residual fallout as it did not go as well as your experience has. Only time will tell, but I must say there feels like this huge weight has been lifted from me in a way... dunno

[BarbaraTalbot]

Isn't it amazing to have that secret out??? SO validating to still be loved.

My hope for you is that eventually you can dress in front of her with pride and confidence. It seems like she might be open to that if you give her plenty of time and space to process. If you have done nighty and toenails "in fun" clearly its not a turn-off for her. The easy leap to make is to assume it is a turn-on. Big difference. I made that mistake and got extremely lucky in that although she wouldnt have thought it was a turn-on, it quickly grew interesting. Your results may vary.

I have been so lucky to have been able to explore in my euphoric state of feeling open and still accepted. The biggest mistake I keep making is wanting to go too fast too soon. Fortunately the more open communication and the closeness to the surface my feelings en femme, has resulted in an amazing level of trust, and we seem to be able to smooth over things quickly as issues arise.

Best part is looking at the shoe rack and seeing her heels and my heels side by side, and not wondering where i'm going to hide my stash.

[Mitch23]

Well done Davinnia - it really is the only way. I still remember the relief that you are now feeling after years of secrecy, guilt and shame. Your wife sounds like a special lady. Remember little steps!

Mitch