The layered look

[sandra-leigh]

About 3/4 of an hour ago, I was loafing around at a bus stop on a moderately busy road, waiting for the bus. This was just after sunset, still pretty light, and colour discrimination was just starting to be affected.

I had on girl jeans (but you have to look hard to tell), women's loafers (ditto), a black woman's top with dull gold leaf pattern (feminine but not radical), forms underneath (showing roughly equivilent of B-cup projection with that top -- there but not blatant especially against the black); and I was experimenting with the "layered look" by allowing a couple of inches of my lavendar slip to show at the bottom of the top. (Lavender wasn't the best colour against the black, but I had to start somewhere.) And that's it -- no makeup, no femme glasses, no jewelry, no wig, just my normal male face with its day-growth of moustache.

So I'm leaning against a post, just waiting, and cars are stopping by the stoplight close to me, and no-one gives a fart what I'm wearing,

But then, the light changed, and a car that had been waiting a little ahead of me moved further ahead and started to round the corner, and one of the young people in the car stuck his hand partly out the window and pointed vaguely back towards me, and said, clearly to the other people in the car (not to me), "That was a guy", and someone else in the car, speaking overlapping with the first said, "That was a man!", and they continued around the corner to some amusement.

And I just kept leaning back against my post, and the infamous Rocky Horror Audience Participation line popped into my head, "No Sh*t, Sherlock!!".

And I was rather amused. I wasn't upset one bit about having been "read", and I wasn't even upset that they'd seen fit to comment on me (they didn't put me down, at least in my hearing): no, I was amused because someone had seriously thought I might be a woman. When I go out partly dressed like that, my assumption is that a single glance at my face is enough to convince anyone that I'm male. I'm accustomed to getting read when I gender-bend; heck, I'm accustomed to getting read in seconds when I go out in full wig ("Where to, Sir?" ask the taxi-drivers); the notion that I might actually be passing to people, even when not dressed especially femininely, is going to take some getting used to. :D

[Billijo49504]

If it didn't bother you, great!!! If you had some makeup and a hairdo that would make ppl wonder, you probably would have been read as a LIZ person...BJ

[Stephenie S]

Well Tess, let me tell you about my experience three days ago at the market. I was dressed very casually in my work clothes as I had been painting, and I could not get to my closet because we are having the bedroom floors refinished and the guys were here sanding the floor. So I had my painting jeans on, a nice sleevless top, obvious little titties, but no bra, and sandels, and of course I was carrying my purse. Only makeup I had on was lipstick and clear nail polish.

So, I go the the meat department to get some handmade franks that had been recomended and chatted with the meat man for several minutes about stuff while he prepared my order. When he handed me the order, he said, "Thank you very much, sir." I said, "You're welcome", and went on my way. Well, a few isles later, I said to myself, "Wait a ninute, . . . .SIR?" "Hmmm". So I went back. I put a big smile on my face so he would know I wasn't angry, and went up to the counter and said, "Excuse me, but when I am dressed this way, you are not supposed to call me sir"! Well the poor man fell all over himself apologizing to me. I ended up feeling sorry for him. But we did have a nice little chat.

Yesterday I thought I would give him another chance, so I dressed really nice, wore a skirt, a bit more makeup, and went back to buy some ground beef for burgers. Unfortunately it was a women who was there at that time. She had no reaction to me at all, and just said, "Thank you." This business of getting "read" is so iffy, you can never tell how it will go down. I just feel that if I want to dress this way, and I do, I had better get used to people's reaction to me when I do.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Mitch23]

There you go, confidence again. You can either react to those situations badly by getting all negative or you can choose to laugh at yourself and with others and dialogue with people in a positive and friendly way

Mitch

[Toyah]

How was he supposed to know not to call you sir ???? if all you had on was lipstick I am sorry but you dont help your own cause, whatever that is, if you just confuse everyone as to what identiy you are today !!!!!

[Stephenie S]

Well Toyah, You are probably right. Most of me was hidden behind the meat case. I would have been dressed better, but as I said, I couldn't get to my closet because the guys were here sanding the floor. I needed something for supper and so I had to go out looking pretty ratty. It was my voice, though, I'm sure, as we had a nice chat, and he had almost no other clues to go on.

Really, I usually look nicer when I leave the house. I do have long hair in a feminine style. And I was wearing earings, so there were some clues. Just not enough, huh?

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Country girl]

I think it's great that you weren't concerned in the least about what some young uninformed kids had to say about your mode of dress! Sounds like you handled the situation in a perfectly correct manner. Good for you! Everyone should be so lucky to be so confident. :hugs: CG GG