Are you accepting of others?

[Lovely Rita]

My question is rhetorical of course and just some food for thought. I believe we need to be accepting of everyone.:love:

As long as they are not hurting some one else. That is my opinion.

My life is enriched by the diversity around me. Every person is like a wonderful new flavor.

CDs are like snow flakes, some would argue flaky, we each are different even though we have dressing in common. Many CDs just like to dress as woman and are completely heterosexual and some have boy friends. Some CDs have called themselves Bi Curious. There are many who consider themselves Transgendered and the list goes on and on.

[Marla S]

I admit having prejudices myself, I tend to box people myself, I tend to generealize, there are quite a few lifestyles that seem strange to me and that I don't understand, etc. .... all the "goodies":straightface:

But I am trying hard to see the person and not the box.
I think I am able to learn and to change my attitude if necessary.

Live and let live + the golden rule are my guidelines.

[michellebesweet]

I accept everyone for who they are and what they believe in. I don't have to agree with thier beliefs. And I expect them to accept me for who I am and what I believe in.

[andreah]

Your right Rita . I myself do accept everyone as they are regardless . The person might be gay(male or female) or even a crossdresser like many of us here.Your sexuality does not bother me one bit , what I'm interested in is your friendship and that's all I'm interested in . I don't judge anyone. Like I said before ,your religion your sexuality are your business , all i'm interested in is your friendship, that's what I tell all of my friends that I have.

[Kate Simmons]

I have to qualify my answer a little Rita. I have a problem with people who are not honest with themselves and others. Other than that, I totally accept everyone for who they are.:happy:

[Lovely Rita]

Marla, I appreciate your honesty and the truth is we all have barriers we have to work on, but I guess what matters is we are working on them.

Michelle, you are so right about being accepting even if we see things differently. Very well said.

Andreah, You hit the nail on the head. Judgment can be so hurtful not only to others but to ourselves as well.
I have always looked at close minded racists who preach hatred. They never seem joyful or happy to me. It is like their hate eats up all the joy. That is just my opinion.

[battybattybats]

Some prejudice occurs in everyone.. its part of human nature and there are plenty of survival reasons for it. However humans can rise above such things if they can reason. Whenever I discover a prejudicial thought or behaviour in myself I imediately challenge it and change my thinking. I feel everyone should do so.

But to err is human and I can't assume that everyone will be strong enough or smart enough to do likewise so I try not to judge those who can't reach my own standards. I do though try to explain to them, to help and to guide them to more reasonable, more decent, more logical thinking. Just as I would like others to do with me if they catch me holding a prejudice I might be unaware of.

[Joy Carter]

I my life time I have seen some of the bigest haters among those who claime special group status.

Hate is not limited to just the majority or those in high places.

We all have the potential for hate.:2c:

[Wendy me]

i have to say for a long time i was quite prejudice ... any one different than me was looked at as being different .... but as i learned more abought who i was and took some time to try to understand others ( which was real hard for me to do) ... for the most part people are people and there is some good in every one .... to me if your doing your own thing and not causing trouble for every one ... or forcing your beliefs on every one then it's cool be who who you are .....

i know i am not totally accepting of every one and every thing in life .... but hey give me time changing your thoughts and ways takes time and a lot of work .....

[Patricia Danielle]

Yes very. I accept people at face value. If they treat you right and respect you, theres no reason not to. Remember the mind is like a parachute it only works if it's open..Patricia..:drink: I have coffee life is good.

[susie evans]

alot

of good posts here , i think we get out of people what we put in and reaction we get is what want it to be

:love: susie

[Kelsy]

Rita

I have become , with my own self acceptance, much more accepting of others I am learning that the thing I want for myself had better be equal to what I'll give to others. Sometimes these lessons come hard and come with a price!

Jennifer

[Lovely Rita]

I have to qualify my answer a little Rita. I have a problem with people who are not honest with themselves and others. Other than that, I totally accept everyone for who they are.:happy:

I understand what you are conveying and I guess I even have to work on accepting them too. Considering that when my crossdressing was totally in the closet I was a bit dishonest with myself and others but thankfully I am free to be me today and don't have to live the cloak and dagger way I did in the past.
I had a hard time with myself back then.......a really hard time.:sad:

[Toyah]

All you have to do is read the posts on the forum to see non acceptance bigotry the only I am right attitude that brings so much pain to the world. I am as guilty as anyone of forming opinions sometimes tho I slap myself its built in I guess.
Don't even get me started on religious bigotry !!!!!!!

[Joy Carter]

Don't even get me started on religious bigotry !!!!!!!

It goes both ways dosen't it ?

[Rita B]

I think I have to agree with Sal on this issue, although I have not yet met anyone in the "Forum" who was not open and forthright and that is the beauty of this web site. We have to respect one another because if we don't how can we expect the world to respect us.:hugs:

[Tvanessa]

Lifestyle choices make no difference to me but I do judge people by the way they act towards and treat other people. Is it really so hard to just be nice?

[eleventhdr]

it is very hard indeed to be able to just accept everone for who and what they are but all we can do is to do our very best to do so it is not easy but just perhap's it can be done!

Suzy Ann!

[aka.laura]

when you're hard on your self then you will be hard on others. I feel, that when you can exept yourself as whatever you are, you can exept others a whatever they are.

[Chantelle CD]

So very true Rita....

I do try to put a handle on my emotions and reactions from others trying to tell me what it means to me by there own feelings and experiences, and its simply not the case, i fully know that each to there own, and there own life experiences determines what they feel is right for them.

I did not have a very good upbringing at all, my father belittled me so badly it scared me and instilled beliefs into me that i carried on into my life, not to mention the femme side of me that was present right from the start. My mother over nurtured me, always tried to make my decisions for me, negated my own feelings, then there was the school kids, yikes!!! All of these things, happening i took inward and formed belief systems, that ruled my life completely!!

It wasn't until i hit the bottom of the barrel so to speak that i wanted to change how others reacted to my presence, what i got from others to be accepted. I realized that its my belief system that was at the root of it all!

After realizing where it all came from or started, how all the hurt had made me act and react all of my life!! I had to forgive myself firstly, i realized that hurt and pain we hold onto, and makes us act out from it, simply forgiving myself didn't fix this, what did is the realization that the ones that had hurt me, were doing the same, my dad and my mom, both had hard lives growing up, maybe harder than my own even, they are acting from theirs as well, in fact everyone you see is doing the same, Even though there actions is totally uncalled for, they simply cant help it as i couldn't for how i was acting out.

The key in it all is to forgive others actions, see it as what it is, coming from there egos <mind> way of protecting itself. Once i seen that my Mom and Dad were just doing the same, forgiving them was easy, i could let them be what they are, and no longer let how they treated me to effect me anymore, by simply putting it in its place. I see this all as illusion, it is not real, for if they did not have these things happen to them in there lives, or there ego was not so in control of there lives, they would not have acted out and hurt me in the first place. Illusion is not real, even though the whole world is living it, acting out from there egos way of protecting its self.

Since i realized this, i actually salvaged a relationship with my father, we had gone fishing and camping together many times, i let him be as he is, not judging his actions, letting him be what he is, not putting conditions on what he can give, and when he passed away with cancer a few years ago, and i had to clean out his home, i realized just how much he did love us all, from the things he had kept over the years. He just couldn't show it!! I am so glad i had put the past behind me, and salvaged a relationship with him!!! One of my sisters did never forgive him, and hurt him back again just before he died, i hated seeing how that effected him in his passing, she is still floundering in her life, holding on to her hurts, and trying to justify them, by calling him an @ss hole. My mom, is still alive, still trying to control, tell me how to live, i let her be her, though i dont let her have control of my life.

We all do this, act and react from how our minds have made sense of what has happened in our lives, Illusion!! the real way to see others is to see them for what they are, a miracle of life to behold!! regardless of there actions, for this will heal them far better than trying to tell them what they are doing, telling them will only start a defense reaction in them, seeing past it, and really appreciating there being, will help them by to see for themselves, what they are doing. If you take a troubled soul, and surround him with people that valued his existence only, he would become healed completely. Love and acceptance in its true form heals without words, and is so powerful to the giver and receiver. It can be called God's will, the law of the universe, faith, truth, what ever label you want to put on it, it is how we all have formed our personality's, to judge one by there own experiences is simply insane thinking, the illusions that made up your personality, have no baring on what works for the other, for they are totally different and separate, Truth on the other hand is not separate, we all are here on this world, from the same source, from the same light, this is how we need to look upon others, and is how you find peace in life, seeing illusion for what it is, and focusing on reality, will set you free to not ever being hurt again, or allowing others judgment to effect you, for it is simply born of there own experiences forced upon you :)

Even if you lived 100 years on this planet, the experiances your own mind knows is so limiting, why on earth would one judge another for only what they know in there own minds eye.

[marie354]

I'm a people person, but I still can't stand ones that show they are jerks.
:hugs:

[Sweet Susan]

I'm accepting of most. I have a hard time with stupidity. I just can't seem to let go of stupidity when I see it. I feel an intense need to squash it.

[Marlena-4now]

Rita, a very thought proivoking question. I think being part of a group or leading a lifestyle that faces a great deal of intolerance and non-acceptance amoung mainstream society has generally helped the CDer's I have met to be amoung the most open minded and non-judgemental people I am aquainted with.......when they are in thier fem role. I wonder though when we go back to being a guy (for those of us who do go back !) if sometimes we might backslide into a more judgemental attitude as we try to fit in with the mainstream ? I find I have to watch myself to make sure I maintain that accepting attitude. Even harder - to make sure I voice my disagreement when I hear one of my peers make narrow minded derogatory comments about some group or other. Alot of people say they are all-accepting and totally open minded but in reality I think we could all be more so - and also to try harder to stand against intolerance and non-acceptance when we encounter it. For instance - in the US today people of arabic desent and of the Islamic religion are facing alot of predudice - and, if you stand up and point this out to people you might find yourself being labeled "un-patriotic". It's tough sometimes to oppose the narrow minded masses.

[Toyah]

It goes both ways dosen't it ?


I guess it does.
I am sorry but acceptance is not following a 2000 year old book thats stagnation

[Country girl]

Rita, A thought provoking question. Acceptance is something we all seek. There are a lot more prejudices than people even think about. Not just lifestyle or color to name two. I have a 22 year old daughter who is mildly mentally and physically disabled. Yet there are a lot of people who are not accepting of her. Just today at work, [she works with me at a restaurant], a woman got very aggravated with her because she wasn't taking her order fast enough. My daughter wasn't even aware of the woman's aggravation, but I was. When the woman walked away to get her drink, I went over to the woman and apologized for it taking so long and said to her, my daughter is disabled so she works a little slower than some people. Immediately the woman's attitude changed. It made me sad to think that I had to explain to her in order for her to be ok with it taking an extra 30 seconds for her to order her meal. Funny how people's perceptions of others can be changed just by a few words. Sad that we all can't just live in peace and harmony. :hugs: CG GG

[Alice Torn]

I can relate to Chantelle, in that i came from a very dysfunctional family, and I was the baby. My dad never wanted kids. My mom was smothering, insecure, and, my older twin brothers picked on me, for decades, STILL DO put me down, and I am 53. I was shamed about sex, so, i have never been blessed with marriage, never had sex, yet, with anyone! I am in a church, which condemns alll sexuality, outside of hetero marriage. Just today, one of the sermons, was how the bible condemns honosexuality. Of course, the man, who gave it, has a lovely wife! I told people afterwards, that Jesus Himself, said, it would be more tolerable, in the judgment, than, for those hypocrite religious leaders, of his day! I stay in that church, for the positive things, concerning a new world, at peace, with nations, "beating their spears, into plowshares...not learning war anymore", within a deade, from now, after an all powerful Christ finally returns, to establish world government. It is human to be in conflict. Animals are not in conflict. Humans were designed, to overcome much about there human ego, and nature, wrestle with it, grow.
crossdressing is concemned, too, so , I must keep it secret. I have always been fairly tolerant, to a fault. I am one, who still needs, to not feel guilty, for standing up for myself---suffer from lifetime toxic shame, codependency. Forgiving is one thing, but, we don't have to be doormats. I am sick of being that. I have been working poor, all my life, in poverty , generally, yet still give money, or food, to beggars, at times. I often tell them, that i am poor, too, and single, never owned a house. I am one, who needs to be a bit tougher, less accepting. Like that old song says, 'You can be better, than you are."

[Lovely Rita]

[QUOTE=Chantelle CD;922588]So very true Rita....


The key in it all is to forgive others actions, see it as what it is, coming from there egos <mind> way of protecting itself. Once i seen that my Mom and Dad were just doing the same, forgiving them was easy, i could let them be what they are, and no longer let how they treated me to effect me anymore, by simply putting it in its place. I see this all as illusion, it is not real, for if they did not have these things happen to them in there lives, or there ego was not so in control of there lives, they would not have acted out and hurt me in the first place. Illusion is not real, even though the whole world is living it, acting out from there egos way of protecting its self.