Beautiful Daughters

[CindyFinalyFree]

Well, I was intending on writing a post about this show that I just finished watching on LOGO... 'Beautiful Daughters'. I need to stop crying first....

Did anyone else watch this, this morning, or on previous airings? I saw that it is also available on I-tunes, but don't have that installed on my comp, so can't verify or provide a link....

Anyway. I need to clear my head (sobbing again)....

[Joy Carter]

Cindy I put up a thread about it in th MF forum. It was indeed a well done film. BTW it can be seen on line.

[CindyFinalyFree]

Ok...

First off, here (http://www.logoonline.com/shows/dyn/beautiful_daughters/videos.jhtml)'s the direct link to the full series of this Episode:


One of the things that struck me most was the source of the title phrase itself.... "My mother was worried, what people would think of 'her'.. until I came to church; and everyone said "you have a beautiful daughter!". I couldn't help but envision such a scene playing out for the person that wrote that particular narration. Not the images of the persons making the statements, but the emotions that must have been flowing through the daughter herself. That is the end-all goal that I, and I'm sure so many others hope to achieve: Being openly accepted and recognized for the inner beauty we so deeply wish we could express effectively.

Then the color'ed lady... "I never was ostriciezed by my mother. When I told my mother that when I come home, I will be who I really am, and her response to me was just 'come on home'. And I think it was awful easy(ier) for my mother, to have this fairly attractive daughter than to have a person in her home that was very flamboyant and very ostricized"..... "If your mother knows and accepts you, the world can go to hell."
I couldn't agree more.

Part two began with discussing violence that we faced as children because we didn't conform to stereotypes. I am one of the rare 'late onset' trans; late to come to terms with it, anyway... I sometimes feel that I cheated to get to where I am. But when I heard some of the things that these gals mentioned, I recognized that I felt so many of the same things they had, but was, I suppose, lucky in that I was too intimidated by my two older step-brothers' reaction should I act on any of these feelings.

You see, when I was 6, they and my older sister put my hair up in 1" squares of ponytails. It was actually innocent on my sister's part. I think she was just experimenting with hair, and I volunteered or something. When she had a few ponies tied, the step-brothers intervened and the three of them wouldn't let me up until 'all' of my hair was ponied, at which time they put me outside our house, and wouldn't let me back in until they had taken a photograph of me. To them it was a joke.... a tease. I don't remember how it started, or where they got the idea. But it was enough for me that I would never openly display or so much as hint that I had 'any' desire what-so-ever to do anything feminine.

I suggest I was fortunate in that as a result of this fear, I was able to successfuly suppress these urges and desires throughout my adolescence and into adulthood, and as such, avoided any further ridicule for 'that' behavior. I know now, however, that this suppression went far deeper, and included so much more than just feminine aspects of my personality. After all, even boys have emotions. I simply chose not to display 'ANY' in fear of exposing something that might even show the slightest hint of femme. Even at family funerals, I remained stoic and calm, dispite the screaming and balling culdron of boiling emotions that pressured behind my dry eyes. I'm just now realizing the impact that that one fateful day had on my entire life.... how much I sacrificed through the countless years of denial and suppression... the untold fun times I might have otherwise enjoyed, had I felt free to do so.

When the group of ladies was on stage talking about how 'others' had "beat the girl out of their boy... or so they thought"... "to twirl the baton".... Also, the statement that "all of us have threads of this, but it's not one person's story"... For me, I identify with so many things that were said, not only in this documentary, but in the countless bios, personal web sites, and posts on these very forums. I can't claim to have experienced the torment and persecution/ostracism that so many of you have had to endure through childhood. However, I 'HAVE' paid a price, that to me is equally as dear.

I still feel deeply for those that 'have' had to go through what I somehow escaped. When I read their stories, or see their testimonials, it touches deeper than words can express... as if I relived all my years of frustration and seclusion for each act they endured..... Hence why I had to stop writing this post not once, but twice, this morning, and again halfway through this one.

As always, thank you all for being here. Additionaly, if any of you were in that production, or even attempted to contribute, I thank you as well, from the deepest depth of my heart. In addition to what I've expressed above, it actually helped me sort through a few things not even mentioned in this post.

[Amy Sue]

I have seen this show a few months ago when it was on. It was great! The best part for me was being able to actualy here these women talk. I have been on so many of thier sites, sooo many times and it was good to put a voice to a face :) Especially Lynn Conway, whom I have visted her site countless times.

I am a Cd right now, don't know where it will take me. At times I have thought about what it would be like to be a woman fulltime. To get up in the morning and have to do my make up, to haveto wear a bra all the time and to have a vagina........... I would be a nauty girl :D

Amy :)

[princessmichelle]

I saw this show yesterday online and it made me cry! Cry in a good way, but totally unexpectedly.

And I'm not even on hormones. :D

(And Amy Sue, I can totally relate to wondering what it would be like to _have to_ wear a bra, to _have to_ wear makeup.)

I do so daydream abou t it


Michelle

[Rene]

A friend gave me a copy of the show, I have watched it a few times now, and still cry though most of it.

[loriannetucson]

Oh goodness! I just started watching the first two parts, and I'm so glad they did this piece! I will be finishing up the rest of the segments tomorrow. Thanks so much for the link, Cinthia!

[Stephenie S]

Dos anyone know of a source for a DVD of this? I can download the first few episodes, but after that, the whole thing falls apart and I haven't been able to watch episodes 4 and 5.

Any ideas? I have a good high speed internet connection. I just don't know what's wrong.

If I could get a hard copy of this I am sure I could use it.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Agles]

wow, i havent seen any of that before. i think i might send that link to my mother, so she can see it. thanks

='.'=
Ja

[cindianna_jones]

You know, I think that this production was perhaps more entertaining than the "Vagina Chronicles" which this documentary followed.

Beautiful Daughters is indeed a wondrous and touching production. I highly recommend it! If you have DirecTV, it can also be seen on the LOGO station from time to time. Set up your DVR to record it!

Cindi

[tall_brianna]

I did see it and I did gush. And reading your second post about it made me cry again.

I love Eve Ensler. I saw the original stage production of The Vagina Monologues years ago and remembered being one of the few "guys" there. We are truly blessed to have this amazing person with such incredible talent on our side and sympathetic to our cause!