Dont go changing

[charlie-50]

unless you want to of course..i was watching a program on the health channel the other night. about some crossdressers oppting to get the sex reassignment surgery done. and i was wondering is that goal for some or all of us? i my self find it very it forfilling to dress only at home. all that other stuff seems very stressful to me. so some must have a very strong drive to do it. so whats yalls opinion? should we go for it,stay the same, stand the middle ground what ? tell me what you think...CP...:straightface:

[Michelle S]

I like to go out dressed, but do not want to become anatomically female. However, I am looking into facial hair removal. Most TS folks seem to feel they are in the wrong body from a very young age. However, I read an article that said about 20% of M2F cross dressers develope the desire to transition later in life. [Transvestism: A Survey of 1032 Cross-Dressers, Archives of Sexual Behavior, Volume 26, Number 6 / December, 1997, http://www.springerlink.com/content/w36jr5348g246857/] I know several people who partially transition (hormones, breast implants, but no GRS) and seem happy to be “in the middle”.

-Michelle

[Erinn]

unless you want to of course..i was watching a program on the health channel the other night. about some crossdressers oppting to get the sex reassignment surgery done. and i was wondering is that goal for some or all of us? i my self find it very it forfilling to dress only at home. all that other stuff seems very stressful to me. so some must have a very strong drive to do it. so whats yalls opinion? should we go for it,stay the same, stand the middle ground what ? tell me what you think...CP...:straightface:


You are right on. It's al al lot of hype and most who change are not any happier for it.

Stay the way you are because in coming years it will soon all pass and who wants to grow to be an old woman. Not this girl!


Youth is wasted on silly girls.

[KandisTX]

There was a time when I had the thoughts of "going all the way" but realized that I do enjoy my time when I'm not dressed. Those times when I am my male self. Keeping the status quo per se allows for me to enjoy the times when Kandis gets to come out an play all the more. ;)

Kandis:love:

[Patricia Danielle]

Well I've never considered it. Also look at the price of SRS and there no guarntee it will take. I'm quite content with who and what I am..Patricia..

[Karren H]

No Way!!! I'm having way too much fun living in both genders to have to pick one permenantly!!! lol

Karren

[charlie-50]

No Way!!! I'm having way too much fun living in both genders to have to pick one permenantly!!! lol

Karren

i agree karren there is no way i would put my self through that just the possable side effects of the hormone treatment alone sound scary to me! i will say this about the program they showed the results of lazer hair removal. after the healing process it leaves a very nice finish to the skin. so if i could afford it i would certainly get that done...CP...:hugs:

[Marla151]

I have dreams where I wake up as a woman and it is pretty satisfying but I don't think I would want to do it surgically. There are to many issues involved with it medically and you have to be on continual hormone therapy IMHO. I would rather spend all the money on outfits and going out doing things like I am now. I have also heard from several people who have done it that it is less satisfying than they thought it would be. Plus I agree with Karen, I enjoy being able to be both to some extent and not being stuck in one role. If I could change back and forth like a lycanthrope, now that would be cool, but otherwise it isn't for me.

[sterling12]

For me, the answer is: "who knows?" I believe that humans need to evolve everyday. I think we all do that evolving whether we realize it or not. A simple test for us all. "Are you the same person you were ten years ago?' "OK, how about one year ago?" Now we are making progress, "How about last month?" And, if you can honestly answer that you haven't changed in a lot of small ways from The Person you were yesterday, I think your stagnating.

Quoting somebody else, Twenty percent of TS gals decide to make the change later in life. I'm not surprised, and I see it quite often within my groups. Circumstances change, feelings and thoughts change. In other words, we are "evolving."

Personally, I can safely say, "Not today, and probably not tomorrow." Next month, next year, I just don't know. I guess I like to keep my options open! That might just be the smart thing to do.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[GypsyKaren]

Crossdressers don't have GRS, transsexuals do, big difference.

Karen Starlene

[chucks]

at the heart of it, it really doesn't matter either way.

[jessbcuzz]

At times, I have thought about it. More so in the sense of what it would be like. The thing about the hormones and such is a scary thught. I was watching a show over the winter. I think it may have been Gray's. Anyhow, the show that night had to do with a wife leaving her TS husband. He was in the hospital with cancer, which the doctors said was cause my taking hormones, more or likely. It's one thing to have parts surgercily removed. However, our inside (DNA, chemisty, etc) will always me of male makeup. Putting stuff inside of us that wasn't there naturally is a big risk. So, with that thought in mind, that is why I only think and dream about doing it. That is as far as it will ever get.

[DawnRodgers]

There is no question that it is up to the individual, what he needs to feel complete and happy. There is no guarantee that anybody will live their hopefully full, happy lives. Anyone could be hit by a car, get a terminal deisease, that kind of thing. In my case, I am just too married. My wife would not be happy with me as a full time woman and 42 years is a long time to just throw away.
All that said, I often think of how great it would be to be, physically, a total woman. At times I wish that I had been more experimental with sex when a young man. Life might have been different. In any event, if something ever happened to my wife, I would seriously consider living the rest of my life as a woman - 24/7. I know that I could be very happy. Sure there are problems to overcome but isn't that really what life is all about. And happiness is a goal also.
Live life to the fullest because we are all going to die someday.

[Sheri 4242]

Crossdressers don't have GRS, transsexuals do, big difference. Karen Starlene

You are absolutely right!!! There is a big difference between mtf heterosexual crossdressers and transsexuals!!! Not to over-simplify, but in psychology it really is fairly simple . . . transsexuals feel/believe they are born the wrong anatomical sex and it is common to hear that TS's have felt from the earliest of their memories that they were trapped in the wrong body. The mtf heterosexual CDer, for the most part, has no problem with their actual anatomical sex -- it is in their gender identity and gender expressions that are at the heart of what a mtf CDer deals with. As we have discussed on here many times, mtf heterosexual CDers have differing mindsets, and the expression of the feimine personality runs a wide spectrum from CDing rarely to all the time, and from CDing in small ways (like underdressing) to fully dressing.

Of course, Karen I know you understand all this -- probably better than most on this forum!!! What upsets me is "when ignorance is made audible." What would be behind someone saying, "It's al al lot of hype and most who change are not any happier for it." Is this ignorance and a total lack of knowledge and comprehension?!!! Is it insensitivity?!!!

The person who said the above quote obviously shoots off without any true knowledge!!! They speak from incredulous ignorance and that is sadly detrimental to the range of people represented on this forum!!!

*sigh* Guess I'll go have a coke and get a smile!!! :drink:

[noname]

Stay the way you are because in coming years it will soon all pass and who wants to grow to be an old woman. Not this girl!

Agreed. This is the one area men have over women. When a woman ages she just gets old. When a man ages he is viewed as distinguished.

[Angela Burke]

I agree with Karen Hutton,
I like being Andy, and I like
being Angela as well.
It's fantastic having the choice.
These "normal" folks don't know what
they're missing!

Love

Angela

[marykay]

Yet, some of us remain the same due to other obligations in day to day life such as a job. I would like a to have large breast but imagine the awkwardness when meeting your co-worker. Instead, I opt for smaller size once which is easy to hide.
Anna

[Teresa Amina]

When a woman ages she just gets old. When a man ages he is viewed as distinguished.

Not always. There's the other stereotype of the crotchety old man and the nice little old lady :D

[RobertaFermina]

I'm good where I am...CDing evenings and weekends.
I can't accept GRS, since I don't want it.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[GypsyKaren]

Of course, Karen I know you understand all this -- probably better than most on this forum!!! What upsets me is "when ignorance is made audible." What would be behind someone saying, "It's al al lot of hype and most who change are not any happier for it." Is this ignorance and a total lack of knowledge and comprehension?!!! Is it insensitivity?!!!

The person who said the above quote obviously shoots off without any true knowledge!!! They speak from incredulous ignorance and that is sadly detrimental to the range of people represented on this forum!!!


Let's just say that I really had to bite my tongue when I saw that.

Karen Starlene

[Raychel]

I am happy with who I am, Have no interest and never will have any interest in sex change. I love being a guy, And really love being a guy in a dress. I only wish the world would accept that.

[MsJanessa]

Crossdressers don't have GRS, transsexuals do, big difference.

Karen Starlene

Ditto and if you don't think there is a big difference between a CD and a TS, talk to a transexual about the way they feel. It will be an eye opener for you.

[Angie G]

One must do what one feels right for them I'm staying home :hugs:
Angie

[Jocelyn Quivers]

My thoughts on this change daily. For now the price, effects of hormones, basicaly losing everything in my life job and family means, I'm content with my issued gender for now. Jocelyn

[Deanna2]

Let me just put on a skirt & cami and I'm as happy as can be.

[Stephenie S]

This discussion is really about apples and oranges.

Many of the above CDers have put down transitioning for reasons that are just not aplicable to a TG person.

If all you want to do is CD, fine. That's what this forum is all about, after all. But please try not to put me down from a position of ignorance of my thoughts and feelings (and ignorance of the actual process of SRS, I might add).

Stephenie

[suzanne]

In some personal web pages, a CD will refer to herself as "gender gifted", meaning she enjoys aspects of both sides of her personality. That's the way I feel, and I get the sense a lot of the girls in this forum agree.

[Sheri 4242]

I am happy with who I am, Have no interest and never will have any interest in sex change. I love being a guy, And really love being a guy in a dress. I only wish the world would accept that.

Ditto, gf!!! That is what so many crosdressers have to explain to, and yes, convince, their SO's -- that they don't want to transition -- that they are "mtf heterosexual crossdressers" and quite happy with being anatomically male -- an anotimic male who has a "second self" when it comes to gender, and that their gender mindset loves wearing skirts, dresses, lingerie (whatever clothing and to what extent). This is the aspect that many GG's have a problem with b/c they think "wearing female clothing must mean wants to be a female." BRAVO to the GG's that "get it" -- get that it is a legitimate psychological mindset that IS different from transsexualism.


My thoughts on this change daily. For now the price, effects of hormones, basicaly losing everything in my life job and family means, I'm content with my issued gender for now. Jocelyn

If I may, let me change one thing in what you said: "If" you feel you are trapped in the wrong body (anatomically) and your gender identity matches your desired anatomical changes, then you are transsexual.

In the main, you seem to be faced with the classic problem that many transsexuals face . . . because of family, and/or cost, and/or employment reasons, and/or professional considerations, such as health requirements, and/or other reasons (and there could be many, like the effects of HRT before SRS which some have problems with), you are stuck with male anatomy and a gender mindset that tells you that you are female. The only thing I question is your opening statement (that your thoughts change on this daily). "If" your changes in thought are b/c any of the reasons I mentioned, then you probably are transsexual. "If" your changes in thought are b/c you aren't sure if you are "trapped in the wrong body," then maybe you aren't and you need to be certain. If you were to start the SRS process, one of the very first things you'd have to show is that you are positive that you are positive that you are a female who is an accident of birth -- that your sexual anatomy doesn't match what you know you are. Hope this makes sense!

[Julogden]

Crossdressers don't have GRS, transsexuals do, big difference.

Karen Starlene
Hi Karen,

You beat me to saying that, exactly right.

Carol:hugs:

[Kate Simmons]

Okay, changing what? You mean to go through actual transition? Some of our friends do that of course as they must and have no other choice. Some of us, however, do not see the need to go that far. Even so, there is a huge transition when it comes to accepting ourselves and that in itself, in my opinion, is a huge hurdle. I believe that is what the real life trial is about to determine if you want to have the surgery. For some though, myself included, that step is not indicated for various reasons. Only truely knowing yourself will help you to determine what to do.:happy:

[Bonnie D]

I would transition if I could. I've always wanted to be female and I've always dreamed of transitioning, however, for me, I feel it's too late. I'm married, soon to be separated, with two young adult children. It would be devastating to them if I transitioned and money is also an issue. If it was only up to me and I had the finances then I definitely would begin HRT and then have SRS (GRS) and FFS and anything else.

Since I won't be transitioning I use labels such as crossdresser and gay, even though I really am transexual and bisexual, because it's easier for others to understand.

Bonnie

[Stephenie S]

Oh, Bonnie. This is a duplicate of a previous post on another thread, but sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, don't EVER think you are too old. NOT!! You are NEVER too old to follow your dream. Do GGs throw in the towel because they are "too old"? Come on, hon. If you have a dream, don't let it go just because you are "too old". BECAUSE dear, at some point in your future you will so old you will be unable to do things for yourself, and then you WILL be too old. Don't get to that point and have to say, "If only I had . . . . ".

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Sweet Cindy]

Happy to be a guy usually and a girl sporatically.

When I was young, I wished for a pink pill that would allow me to wake up as a woman the next morning. Take the blue pill to switch back. You can't switch back after surgery (not easily, anyway).

I still wish for that pill but would never consider SRS. Boobs would get in the way when I'm crawling under the car to change the oil.

Cindy

[jennCD]

I enjoy feeling and knowing of my feminine half, emotionally, mentally and all that but I'm quite comfortable with the parts I own now :) ... tho Iwill admit, a nice bosom is something I'd love to possess!
:)

[Emily Ann Brown]

The rule of thumb I have heard on transitioning is you don't till it's life or death....YOUR DEATH.

I have a friend who is a female trapped in a man's anatomy...if I had the money I'd buy her the surgery. She is near suicidal at times and NEVER really happy. Crossdressers as a rule don't understand those sisters, and why should they?

Just in case anyone cares, nah, I have no intention of transitioning although I am TG....just isn't a case of life or death for me.


Emily Ann

[Mitch23]

unless you want to of course..i was watching a program on the health channel the other night. about some crossdressers oppting to get the sex reassignment surgery done. and i was wondering is that goal for some or all of us? i my self find it very it forfilling to dress only at home. all that other stuff seems very stressful to me. so some must have a very strong drive to do it. so whats yalls opinion? should we go for it,stay the same, stand the middle ground what ? tell me what you think...CP...:straightface:
No!

Mitch

[marie354]

I'd probably go for the transition if my old bod would take it... I have two blood clots in my left leg, so it probably isn't possible for me anymore.
But if you're in good health and you feel it's the right thing to do, then go for it.
:hugs:

[Shelly Preston]

I have no intentions to have GRS

For most of those who do change its not a choice is a need
They are in the wrong body and have to change

There may be a few who have had GRS and are unhappy I would suggest they were not right for it in the first place that why transexuals have a lot of trouble with doctors. The doctors are extremely cautious and are trying to make sure the transion is the right thing for their patient

Anyone who thinks transitioning is easy should do a lot more research

Some here have made comments which I hope is only down to a lack of knowledge on the subject

I would hate to think they were being delibrately offensive

[Sharon]

The typical MtF crossdresser is perfectly happy with the male anatomy they were born with, at least for the majority of their time. Their focus is almost entirely on the clothing, and there is usually not even a fantasy of being a woman, only in appearing as one while dressed. Once they remove the clothing, they live their lives as "normal" men, and they do so whether they are heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual.

Transsexuals(again, MtF), on the other hand, identify as women every moment of every day, and their male bodies are a complete anathema to them. Not all choose to underdo sexual reassignment surgery(srs), for assorted real-world reasons, but, nevertheless, they do not consider themselves men.

If anyone who considers themselves to be a crossdresser, also wishes that they could have surgery to permanently become a woman, then you should begin to consider the thought that what you may be is not a crossdresser, but a transsexual.

[charlie-50]

so many great opinions! but i think some of yall missed the point i was trying to make. and ill break it down some. i mean you dont start out being sqaure nothing and then you want to be a TG . in my humble opinion theres a progression ( and i allready know yall will straghten me out if im wrong. not to worry i enjoy the exchange)to me you start out as a cd ,a person who dresses but not full time. then we go to a tv a person who dresses more often and injoys living as a woman part time . then we would have a tg a person who dresses & lives as a woman and is going through the changes to do so. so i guess if theres. a scale to this i injoy living on the lower end as a person just x dresses up part time. ware yall want to be is up to yall. i was just wondering what yall thought about the progession of it? where do you stand?again i ask yalls opinion...cp...:hugs:

[Teresa Amina]

in my humble opinion theres a progression

I think it's actually an Unveiling as we examine where we stand and how we feel about our degree of transness. When I first found this site in March of '06 I had no idea there was such a broad spectrum and thought I was "just a crossdresser". Now I know different, but it isn't that I progressed from one thing to another, I just became more Self Aware.

[Sharon]

so many great opinions! but i think some of yall missed the point i was trying to make. and ill break it down some. i mean you dont start out being sqaure nothing and then you want to be a TG . in my humble opinion theres a progression ( and i allready know yall will straghten me out if im wrong. not to worry i enjoy the exchange)to me you start out as a cd ,a person who dresses but not full time. then we go to a tv a person who dresses more often and injoys living as a woman part time . then we would have a tg a person who dresses & lives as a woman and is going through the changes to do so. so i guess if theres. a scale to this i injoy living on the lower end as a person just x dresses up part time. ware yall want to be is up to yall. i was just wondering what yall thought about the progession of it? where do you stand?again i ask yalls opinion...cp...:hugs:

You are either a transsexual (what I'm reading as what you are referring to as "transgendered") or you aren't. Most transsexuals may begin expressing themselves by simply wearing the clothing of their self-identified gender, but it is so much more than just clothing that they need and desire. Some of us are not willing or capable of accepting our transsexuality for a long time, but we are what we are regardless. Heck, many of us don't even dress in a way that you may think of as crossdressing at all -- it is what is between our ears that counts, not what we wear.

Some crossdressers may "progress" to the point where they choose to live fulltime as the opposite sex, but the key word here is "opposite." To TS's, it is not the opposite sex, but, rather, the correct sex.

[charlie-50]

I think it's actually an Unveiling as we examine where we stand and how we feel about our degree of transness. When I first found this site in March of '06 I had no idea there was such a broad spectrum and thought I was "just a crossdresser". Now I know different, but it isn't that I progressed from one thing to another, I just became more Self Aware.

ill agree with that . heck before i found the cd site i didnt realy know if i even quilified as a cder(or just some dude that wore woman clothes part time)now i know the a lot of people just like me(YES!)certainly makes me feel better about myself...cp...:hugs: