Stuck in the middle

[bi_weird]

Mmm so I spent the week driving across the country with a guy I hardly know, and it highlighted where I end up in most people's minds. I want to be in the middle, yes, but I get stuck in the crap middle.
While loading and unloading the moving truck, he kept saying "Here, take this, it's light." Which is wrong on two counts: stop telling me what to do and don't assume I'm weak because I have a girl's body. Oi I want some T. Then there's the 'boy talk'. I want to be treated more like a guy, so he's allowed to objectify women grossly around me. I'm sorry, the word "p**sy" grosses me out. Stop saying it. And stop assuming that I'm okay with you talking about women in a base manner. I don't hate women; I just don't feel like I'm in that club.
Ugh. Looking back it does seem like when people stop treating me all the time like a girl it's so that often then can give me the crap of both sides. Anyone else find this true?
(Totally unrelated. I had an idea of what times the various geographic regions would comment, and now I'm lost 'cause I'm three hours off. Oi.)

[noname]

In the middle is never a comfortable place to be. Unfortunately society places responsibilities based on gender. From a guys perspective we are often supposed to do the dirty heavy work even if a female is more capable. Women are expected to be fragil, weak and emotional. Guys are expected to be strong, rugged an unemotional. There is no logic behind it, but it's what people expect. :(

[Kate Simmons]

As adaptable as I am, it frustrates me sometimes as well Bi that some people just do not "get it" and just cannot seem to accept us for the person we are. Hang in there my friend and have a good trip.:hugs:

[Cai]

I don't usually get stuck in the middle with a single person, but with groups it happens, like at work. I'm considered to be butch or a tomboy there. I find that women/girls are more likely to treat me like a guy while the guys are more likely to treat me like a girl who needs help.

I have noticed that when I'm out and about as Cai, I don't get treated as fragile. Cars don't stop for me if I'm standing on the sidewalk waiting to cross the road (yes, city people, they do that here). People don't hold doors for me. I like it. I've never been this little breakable thing, and I don't want to be treated like it.

[CaptLex]

I want to be treated more like a guy, so he's allowed to objectify women grossly around me.
There's nothing wrong with telling a jerk that he's being a jerk and that you don't like certain talk - regardless of whether you're trans, bi, cisgendered, male, female, in-between, etc. A jerk is a jerk is a jerk and you don't have to put up with conversation that makes you uncomfortable just because you want to be treated like a guy (or anything else).


Ugh. Looking back it does seem like when people stop treating me all the time like a girl it's so that often then can give me the crap of both sides. Anyone else find this true?p
Have to think about that . . . I don't think I've had to endure the crap from the boys' side yet, but it's hard for some people to figure out how to treat me. I don't see why they have to make a distinction (I'm just me), but apparently they think they do. So I nod at the guys and smile at the girls and figure out the rest as I go.


(Totally unrelated. I had an idea of what times the various geographic regions would comment, and now I'm lost 'cause I'm three hours off. Oi.)
LOL, typical Bi . . . I missed you, man! :D

[Kimberley]

I agree with the Capt. some people are just a**holes and there is no getting around it. I wouldnt let this wingnut get to you, you are just wayyyy better than that.

Some just cant treat people like people. I try to treat everyone the same male or female and I make no apologies for "political correctness". I am just me take it or leave it. Usually it works... maybe sends them running sometimes.

Sorry the trip didnt go so well. Better times ahead Bi. Better times ahead.

:hugs:
Kimberley.

[Felix]

Ok it's always confusing for some people I guess. My experience is that the women treat me on the whole for me as me now, how they perceive me. Before like for the last 4 years they, not all treated me with hostility and I think that might have been cos they was unsure of where I was coming from ya know butch lesbian and wrong perceptions that lesbians want to get in every womans knickers :eek: That really used to offend me cos I'm not like that I hate sleezey women/men. The men at work have always been pretty ok around me and now it's even better. I agree I don't like people making assumptions based on stereo types like if ya a girl this or if ya a man that but people do and that's because of how we are conditioned from birth, socially constructed to societies norms and values. So hey step outside that and ya come right in the line of fire. Take a big deep breath Hun, I take many every day and it helps me get through. I count to ten a lot too. I agree with Lex if he was bein an idiot ya did right to say somethin. Take care Hun hope my experiences have helped in some small way xx Felix.:hugs:

[ZenFrost]

I know how that is. Men treat me in a really sexist way (like women are the weaker sex) and women treat me like I'm some kind of a mutant because I don't wear makeup or dress like a girl. Even when I am trying to present as a male and want to be seen as a male it seems like I'm stuck in between worlds.