frustration

[cdbrandi]

When my wife and I first started dating I told her I was a CDer, and she said it was not a problem. She even helped me pick out some better clothes, and we have been out with me dressed 3 or 4 times. Over the last few months I have purchased 2 skirts, a blouse, and cami, a pair of shoes all with the help of my wife. Last week I ordered a new swimsuit. My wife had bought a new pair of shorts about 2 weeks ago without trying them on, and when she got them home they did not fit, and she was not willing to take them back, so I took them and exchanged them for my 1st pair of girl jeans, which I am going to wear out to the movies tonight (other than my underclothing every thing else is drab attire).

OK, here is where the frustration comes in..... the times we have been out with me dressed, she does not want me to go into the womens restrooms, and if we go shopping, she does not want me in the womens dressing rooms. I talked to her about wearing my new jeans out to the movies here in town ( very small town where everybody knows everybody) and she said she is not comfortable with me doing it. I took the new jeans and laid them on top of my $80 express mens jeans and they are the exact same cut, except for the waist on the new ones are just a litle lower, so I am going to wear them, and since we are meeting at the movies when she gets off work i doubt she will notice. Sorry just had to vent!!
Brandi

[Jill]

I gotta be honest, I think you need to be grateful that she is as accepting as she is. She won't let you wear jeans to the movies, well, so what? Most of us can't even find anyone who is not shocked and completely turned off by it. It's easy to take things for granted, but most people in society are intolerant of this kind of thing. I personally think you should be grateful for what you have and try not to spoil a really good thing because you have a really good thing going.

[Toyah]

If you break her bounderies then you are in for a heap of pain just accept what she is comfortable with

[Sharon]

I agree with Jill and Toyah. Your wife has been very supportive of you, with just a few things that she isn't comfortable with yet. Why take the chance with ruining this because of a pair of jeans which you yourself write are nearly identical with the male jeans you have?

Allow her to grow into accepting new boundaries in her own time, perhaps with further discussions with you as you go on. And show her that you respect her. In my opinion, she fully deserves it.

[Kristen Marie]

There is no rush. Many of us would trade places in a heartbeat. Take you time and don't make this a battle or be frustrated. Her feeling are very important right now.

[megan163]

As the other girls pointed out, you are very lucky not just for her acceptance but past expressions of support:2c: I wouldn't push the issue on the jeans or going to ladies rooms, etc. Just respect her boundaries for privacy.

[Paige.]

Your wife obviously still supports you and is helping in many ways that other can only dream of. One of the most important things for a CD'er is support and encouragement. Don't make it a big deal. Progress sometimes comes in small steps.

[SandyR]

Good advice from everyone, I think you are trying to rush things. Be lucky she supports you, although my wife is supportive, and helps me with make-up, hose etc. There is no way she would even consider me wearing womens jeans to a movie, and nor would I (to hard to conceal my gun....heheh).

Good luck!

Hugs.

SandyR

[Ema1234 GG]

I've got to say that I think it would cause you more problems in the long run if you break her bounderies and push her too far before she is ready for it. She's already extremely supportive and although she may not be as accepting as you would like, she's an awful lot more accepting than many SO's!

At the end of the day, although you would really like to wear the jeans you say they are hardly any different from your male pair of jeans. Is it really that crucial for you to wear them, so much so that you risk upsetting your wife?

And perhaps you should sit down and have a talk with her. Explain to her why you want to wear those jeans and why you'd like to be able to go into female public restrooms. Then invite her to talk about why she doesn't want you to. She sounds amazingly supportive already and in time she may accept fully everything you would like to do. But if she doesn't, well she's already very supportive even if it's not absoloutely everything you'd like. But if you push her too far too soon you run the risk of loosing the acceptance she already has.

[Charleen]

As far as the jeans go, if you didn't tell her she wouldn't have known. For the rest, you're luckier than most so be grateful for the acceptance she has as opposed to rueing what limits she sets.

[Raychel]

I you love her, you will respect her wishes. There is no need to make her upset for something as simple as this. If she is willing to let you dress sometimes, then accept that and enjoy your time as best as you can. Women like her are very special and should be treated that way. :2c:

[Sheri 4242]

My wife had bought a new pair of shorts about 2 weeks ago without trying them on, and when she got them home they did not fit, and she was not willing to take them back, so I took them and exchanged them for my 1st pair of girl jeans, which I am going to wear out to the movies tonight (other than my underclothing every thing else is drab attire). Sorry just had to vent!! Brandi

First, we all need to vent from time-to-time, and this is a great place to do so b/c it is full of sisters who have empathy and are understanding.

Second, I think you maybe made a BIG mistake in how you handled her purchase. IMHO, you should have exchanged her purchase for her and gotten the size she needed, then later bought your girl jeans. (By the way, Gap women's jeans are great! The best, IMO, though, are the Victorias Secrets style that have the form fitting butt -- helps you look like a GG. First time I wore them, my wife didn't know I had bought them. She didn't realize they were girl jeans -- later she could see that aspect -- but her first comment was that the jeans I had on surely made my butt look cute!)

Third, if she has a problem with what bathroom you use, respect her boundaries!!! You are already way head of a lot of the CDers on here who would LOVE to have a SO who is accepting as yours! When you're together, respect what she wants on this "if" you ever expect her to move her boundaries forward!!!

Sheri

[Sandra]

You need to respect her wishes or you could end up back at square one with her not accepting at all. Slow down a little and let her set the pace.