Am I abnormal? Who can tell me? I am still searching for my identity.

[MeraLehanga]

I have been reading huge volume of texts in this forum profoundly on the lookout for people with similar approaches to CDing (my type), and so far I found none.

Am I abnormal ? Or are there other CDs who are having the same experience of not finding their type in this forum?

Secondly, I have been reading books, articles, asked many people even doctors, tried GGs too none could give me a simple digestible answer to the distinctive difference between a trasvestite and a crossdresser? Are they both same? or why are they not same? Please, my IQ is way too low, a simple explaination, like for a ten year old to understand would be appreciated.

[BarbaraTalbot]

To answer the only part of your question that I am knowledgeable enough to say and that is the part about searching for my "twin" here (and elsewhere). No she isn't here, and thats OK. We all have different things that motivate us, interest us and we all have a different set of experiences that molded and shaped us.

Think about this. As a Cross-dresser, I had no specific role model, there aren't media images to explain how to look, act feel.

If I wanted to be a beer-swilling, bikini-ogling, sports-betting, He-man, there are many many examples to choose from in my immediate environment and in movies, TV and advertising.

So we all independent of each-other or any direct involvement with other CD'ers made it up on our own with our own special flavors and colors.

What I appreciate most here is the little snippets of each girl that I DO identify with.

As far as labels, this is all I know about myself so far. My gender identity leans a little more female than male. I have male to female euphoria (kind of joy in all things female) without male diasphoria (sp) (kind of a dislike of ones own maleness.) Im looking for labels too, but acceptance (self first) matters more than labels I think.

[Sheri 4242]

(1.) Am I abnormal?

(2.) . . . a simple digestible answer to the distinctive difference between a trasvestite and a crossdresser? Are they both same? or why are they not same? Please, my IQ is way too low, a simple explaination, like for a ten year old to understand would be appreciated.


(1.) You seem quite normal to me! You are looking for answers, as are many on here -- and you seem to have excellent analytical and critical thinking skills -- I find it very difficult to believe that you are not extremely intelligent!!!

(2.) To answer your question is rather complex, if not daunting -- and will generate some controversy. It is one of those topics where people seem to have some very strong opinions.

So'ooooo . . .

-IMHO, our friends across the pond in the UK have it right. They tend to use the term "transvestite" without negative connotations. In the U.S. the term "transvestite" is looked down upon by a great many of people who refer to themselves as "mtf heterosexual crossdressers."

-Part of the general U.S. attitude might be because mental health professionals in the U.S. have used "transvestite" to indicate someone with a definite "fetishtic" bent -- IOW, in the main, a TV in the U.S. is a GM who wears female clothing (to whatever degree) for the purpose of sexual excitement and/or sexual release. (References: just as a place to begin, start first with the DSM-IV-TR, then move on to The Merck Manual of Diagnosis and Therapy, or the survey text Abnormal Psychology.)

-Those who think that "transvestite" is an okay definition tend to broaden the definition -- it is someone who wears (at whatever intervals and to whatever degree) cloting ofbthe opposite sex (thus "trans" and "vestite").

-"Crossdresser" is too broad for some people. Look at it like this: (a.) mtf heterosexual CDers (with no fetish attachment) crossdress, (b.) fetishtic CDers crossdress, (c.) drag queens crossdress, (d.) female impersonators crossdress, (e.) some male prostitutes crossdress, (f.) GM's into submissive roles of BDSM crossdress (forced feminization). Many GG's crossdress -- in fact, some hold that just about all GG's actually crossdress "with impunity" b/c it isn't frowned upon for a GG to wear some types of GM clothing (watch Sex and the City, or watch the move The American President, or listen to the C/W song that has the line the GG sings about what she is wearing to feel sexy that goes, " . . . man shirts, short skirts, man I feel like a woman . . . " (I'm trying to remember who sang this song -- Martina, or Faith --- NO, it was Shania Twain).

-So, at least in the U.S., "transvestite" is frowned upon in many circles (mainly b/c of things like the DSM-IV-TR), yet maybe a new revision needs to be made b/c of how many various people "crossdress."

I doubt I have answered your question. And, it is so'ooooo late, I probably will think of a lot I have forgotten to say when I get up later today. In the main, though, maybe I have given you a starting point that will help you begin to understand the differences.

[noname]

As many here will say, forget about the labels. I don't consider myself a crossdresser or tv anymore than a GG who puts on a pair of pants.

Let's hear it for equal rights. w00t!

[Lovely Rita]

Hi MeraLehanga
I agree with Barbara and Sheri and their insightful posts. The only thing I will add, as far as my two cents, is that I have not met anyone in my life who is just like me and today I am very very fine with that. I do find the support and comraderie of others who, like me, like to put on woman's clothing, but at the end of the day we are a very diverse group. I celebrate and accept it. Just like anywhere else you will find that you can relate to and befriend some and others you will not.

[Kate Simmons]

I dunno. When I first started dressing in the 60's I was called a transvestite. Then we got stylish and became crossdressers somewhere along the line.:strugglin:happy:

[erickka]

I think the real question should be......DEFINE "NORMAL". What you consider as such, you can sure bet that everyone else will have a different definition. Just enjoy being you, and forget everyone else's opinions.

[Karren H]

Well I'm lost..... What per say is "Your type" of crossdressing? If you wear womens clothing...... now if you wear them inside-out... now that different? hehe Please explain...

And the CD and TV are the same or simular... it appeares to me that Euporeans tend to call themselves transvestites vs we North Ameracians use crossdresser a lot... Cause were heathens or something... lol

Karren

[Lora Olivia]

I just have to throw my :2c: into this. As the other girls have said, "what is normal". A large % of people would classify all of us as abnormal. For me I just have to love myself for what i am. Other than small forays into panties and hose and things along the way, I never got to be me until the last year actually. To put it from my fem point of view, the man on the outside was driving me crazy. Before this becomes a short story on me, just let me say that no 2 people are the same, we are individuals. So just let you be you and be what makes you happy :hugs:

[Toyah]

[quote=Sheri 4242;928046](1.)

-IMHO, our friends across the pond in the UK have it right. They tend to use the term "transvestite" without negative connotations. In the U.S. the term "transvestite" is looked down upon by a great many of people who refer to themselves as "mtf heterosexual crossdressers."

-Part of the general U.S. attitude might be because mental health professionals in the U.S. have used "transvestite" to indicate someone with a definite "fetishtic" bent -- IOW, in the main, a TV in the U.S. is a GM who wears female clothing (to whatever degree) for the purpose of sexual excitement and/or sexual release. (References: just as a place to begin, start first with the DSM-IV-TR, then move on to The Merck Manual of Diagnosis and Therapy, or the survey text Abnormal Psychology.)

-Those who think that "transvestite" is an okay definition tend to broaden the definition -- it is someone who wears (at whatever intervals and to whatever degree) cloting ofbthe opposite sex (thus "trans" and "vestite").

-"Crossdresser" is too broad for some people. Look at it like this: (a.) mtf heterosexual CDers (with no fetish attachment) crossdress, (b.) fetishtic CDers crossdress, (c.) drag queens crossdress, (d.) female impersonators crossdress, (e.) some male prostitutes crossdress, (f.) GM's into submissive roles of BDSM crossdress (forced feminization). Many GG's crossdress -- in fact, some hold that just about all GG's actually crossdress "with impunity" b/c it isn't frowned upon for a GG to wear some types of GM clothing (watch Sex and the City, or watch the move The American President, or listen to the C/W song that has the line the GG sings about what she is wearing to feel sexy that goes, " . . . man shirts, short skirts, man I feel like a woman . . . " (I'm trying to remember who sang this song -- Martina, or Faith --- NO, it was Shania Twain).

-So, at least in the U.S., "transvestite" is frowned upon in many circles (mainly b/c of things like the DSM-IV-TR), yet maybe a new revision needs to be made b/c of how many various people "crossdress."


Thank you for that Sheri apart from some very strange people ther is really no diference between Transvestite and Crossdresser they literally mean the same thing, just one is a bit older and maybe a bit clinical crossdreser is a bit more human I guess.
As for being exactly the same, well I am sure you will not find a doppelganger but you should find many with similar interests and tastes.
I find that I like to at what others enjoy with their dressing I dont like to get into defining what it is about just enjoy it. I am not sure a dressing identity is what I need or indeed want I am me no matter what I do

[sterling12]

Of course you are unique, every person is unique. Most thinking people spend their whole lives trying to figure out who they are, and surprize! It's a "Moving Target." You will become different with each passing day.

I remember the quote but can't remember who to attribute it to: "A Life unexamined, is not worth living." Keep searching, it sometimes hurts a lot, but it's good for your soul!

By the way, CD, Crossdresser, Transvestite, all interchangable. Transgendered and transperson kind of cover most everything and have become en vogue also.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[KandisTX]

We are what we are. I am a crossdresser, I identify as such based on the following;

I am a heterosexual, I do not get a sexual thrill from dressing, I do not dress as an attempt for "shock" value in the general public.

You need to examine your own reasons and then you can determine what "label" fits you. While many of us do not like labels, we all know there is one that fits.

Kandis:love:

[Valerie Nicole]

I remember the quote but can't remember who to attribute it to: "A Life unexamined, is not worth living." Keep searching, it sometimes hurts a lot, but it's good for your soul!

Socrates, Athens, Greece. The quote is "The unexamined life is not worth living."

I really agree with a lot of what has been said here. I'm not sure about CD/TV definitions, but I can tell you that you are on the right track. You're not going to find someone just like you here. IMHO, I think what you're after is a mirror, someone just like you so you can see what you are like. No such person exists for any of us, unfortunately. What you can do is look to others for pieces of them that seem to resonate with pieces of you, and in this way you can learn something about yourself.