The Most Amazing Journey and keeping things balanced

[Lovely Rita]

This journey is new for many of us and we did not have parents who could tell us what to expect or what we would find, for the most part we are kind of trailblazers learning as we go along. The friends we make on this site and other places are the ones we can learn from.

We are kind of like Lewis and Clarks of lingerie and dresses. We have gone were no man, that we know of except for ourselves, may have gone before. Explorers in a way. Exciting and scary at times, to say the leaste.

That is how I see this journey of crossdressing and self discovery. It is absolutely fantastic and joy inspiring.:thumbsup:

There are so many many wonderful treats connected with our special journey. We all have our own personal and different journey known only to ourselves. In common, we have the fact that we love to dress as woman.

There are no one size fits all situations here. Some cannot dress openly, some can. Some have Wives and SOs that know all about their dressing. Many have Wives and SOs that don't.

Some have supporting people in their lives and many do not.

I am thankful and feel fortunate that I can pretty much dress openly and as often as I like.

I am learning that this particular path and journey that chose me more than I chose it is one that requires careful balance.

What I mean is that I am more aware now that though I enjoy this thing of ours so very much that I have to be careful about over doing it. I have to be careful to keep a proper perspective and mind the other things in my life.

Crossdressing is so much about me that if I am not careful I can become totally self absorbed. Life is more than just about me, it is also about the people I love, the work I engage in.

At leaste for me, I find that crossdressing can at times be all consuming and in a way inspire obsession. I am working on keeping proper balance as best I can. I will let you know how I do. I want crossdressing to always remain a productive aspect of my life and not destructive. I have to be attentive and make sure it does not harm relationships and other importantant aspects of my life. I cannot let it consume all my time and overwhelm me or control me but I need to be in control of it, or then I become a slave to crossdressing instead of crossdressing serving me. I have read many sad stories connected with crossdressing. Other sad stories because partners were insecure or felt neglected etc. etc.

In conclusion, I believe like anything else in life it is about healthy balance. We are all so much more than just crossdressers and I believe we should be careful not to make it more than what it is.

Thanks for letting me share.:love:

[Kate Simmons]

I agree Rita. We are a person first, then a crossdresser. We cannot lose sight of being that core person. There are powerful forces at work here and they must be kept balanced. I know only so well what happens when they become off balanced and never want to go through that again. It can be fun and rewarding but it must be tempered with understanding and insight.:happy:

[Karren H]

Wow!! That's great........ And as I was reading all of a sudden this poped into my head.......

Rita on the Senate floor.... Reading the Transgended State Of The Unon Address!!!

Bravo!!! Bravo!!! The crowd goes wild!!! Hehehe

:D

Love Karren

[Janailene]

Very well said! Keeping a balance can be difficult but is essential. I have gone to extremes in the past but now try not to let my female self overwhelm my other aspects of life.

[Toyah]

I agree Rita, there are far to many here who leap to judge everyone who does not conform to their ideal.
I love to dress when I can my wife accepts Toyah time tho sometimes she resents it too (usually when she falls asleep downstairs and misses out on the chats).
Dont try to upset your partners by straying from the rules but dont try to get them involved if they dont want to be. I do worry about those who dont tell their partners or who dont think that they should live with some boundary's its just going to cause pain at some time.
I love the diversity of people here some who go out some who part dress or just like one form of dressing or just like pantys( yes I said the panty word all the prudes get over ot !!!!!) , its interesting and enlightening to see how many different forms our desire can encompass. I also like to read the FTM posts to get a diferent perspective of crosdressing although I dont post to them as its out of my experiance .
The main thing is enjoy what you like and let others enjoy what they like :hugs:

[Chantelle CD]

My friend, Rita, you have just stated so nicely what i feel is so true about this for me!! Balance balance balance :) Not only do i try to feel and express these female feelings to the strongest extent i can, but i also try to feel the masculinity as well to the same extent, it also feels fantastic. Anytime we can deepen our centering we grow :) It is so true what you said about obsession, i have said that in other posts as well, and dont think it went over to well hehehe but.... its true, when we over obsess in this, we end up with a Battle, and most of the fighting is due because of imbalance. Our maleness fights back to become equal and we perceive it as if we are doing something wrong!! But truth is, it isn't wrong!! we are just not feeling our maleness to the same extent !! Balance balance balance :)

A very refreshing post Rita Thank you!!!!

[susie evans]

RITA
thanks for another great post i no what you are talking about and balance is a very important part of every thing we say and do keep up the good work

:love: susie

[Oddlee]

Rita, Chantal,

Thanks for your thoughtful posts - this is the kind of stuff that makes this forum so worthwhile for those of us still learning - it's why I joined.

Lee

[RobertaFermina]

Thanks Rita, you make perfect sense.

Right now, though, I am subscribing to the notion that I find where the edges are right after I've gone over them.....

I ain't rational, yet I trust there's method in my madness.

:rose: Rides off in a Cloud of Pink Dust :rose:

[marie354]

Rita, you can be sooo profound.
It all makes sense.
:hugs:

Definitely #1, yourself, has to come first.
Without that inner spirit, or soul, what are we?

[Mitch23]

A very positive and thoughtful post Rita (as usual) - I agree and cannot add to what you have said!

Love Mitch

[Slip Affinity]

You sure have a way with words. Very well put.

[Lovely Rita]

You ladies always make my day. I really get such wonderful vibes from you all. I love it!

Salandra, you hit it the nail on the head, "Powerful Forces" yes indeed. Sometimes it feels like the Genie does not want to go back in the bottle.

Karen, I won't talk about your candidacy because I don't want this thread pulled, which you know how I feel about you. You are too nice to me!

Janailene, You are on the Money!

Toyah, what you said is so important, consideration of partners.

Chantella, Excellent point about balance, and so insightful regarding our duality.

Susie, Thanks for emphasizing how important! balance is.

Oddlee, so glad to hear you are finding good things here, that is what we are here for

Robert, You are welcome and I know the edge you are speaking about.

Marie, You are one of the most profound and honest people around, love hearing from you always.

Mitch, Thanks for your encouragement

Slip, Thanks and your words are so positive to me.



This place is one stop shopping for me as far as comraderie, encouragement, life lessons, you ladies are the best!

Think about it, many taught us how to ride a bike, many gave us advice on pretty much all aspects of life while growing up. Elders would give us their wisdom on marriage, jobs, food, living.

We never had some one to turn to regarding crossdressing. For the most part no one around to really tell us what to watch out for. We learned about the pleasure and the Joy on our own and many times we face the heartache and pain of it alone.

Here we have the opportunity to be the family that looks out for each other and perhaps helps us live the fuller and more balanced life which includes our uncommon life style.

I never pretend to speak for everyone but if we can strike a chord in only a few and be of some help and supportive then I think we can take joy from that.

Thanks family, I wish you much love. May you be surrounded with it and encounter it wherever you go.

[Kate Simmons]

Understood Rita. Some of it we learn by hard experience, some of it is "seat of the pants" and we make it up as we go along. I've learned to regard it all as fun though. I guess I have "Mary Poppins" syndrome. I make every task a "game" and it's like a spoonful of sugar with the medicine. Most of all, I really enjoy learning about myself and who I am. Sometimes there are pleasant surprises but sometimes not so desirable qualities. This is how I learn anyway and how I make adjustments. We are certainly not going to do everything "right" the first time but that keeps life interesting to be sure.;):happy:

[flogo920]

Balance is a great idea- but it is more difficult : consider an experience which is intensely pleasureable on one hand, and the rest of life which is usually less pleasureable.

surprisingly the real life obligations and hassles wins out from a sense of duty.

My 2 cents

Hugs,

Flo

[Lovely Rita]

Balance is a great idea- but it is more difficult : consider an experience which is intensely pleasureable on one hand, and the rest of life which is usually less pleasureable.

surprisingly the real life obligations and hassles wins out from a sense of duty.

My 2 cents

Hugs,

Flo

I am working on my personal discipline at the moment. I will be working on my self control and dressing. See who really is in charge here.:thumbsup:

[TerriM]

Balance balance balance

I couldnt have said it better. Balance has been the key word in my life. Between work, family and social obligations it is not easy to squeeze my fem side in. Over the years I have given the other parts of my life such as children' sports and school events priority over going to a CD related activity. Now that I'm older there is a little more time (not a lot) for Terri.

Yours Terri

[Lovely Rita]

Balance balance balance

I couldnt have said it better. Balance has been the key word in my life. Between work, family and social obligations it is not easy to squeeze my fem side in. Over the years I have given the other parts of my life such as children' sports and school events priority over going to a CD related activity. Now that I'm older there is a little more time (not a lot) for Terri.

Yours Terri


It is clear that you are a caring person to those in your life. I also give you a :thumbsup: for putting your children first.

Many times the climate and culture of our hedonistic society fails to encourage the selfless and giving attributes of LOVE.

Your Rock Terri, you are my kind of folk.

Hedonism according to Webster's

the doctrine that pleasure is the chief good in life;

[LaFem]

I think it absolutely WILL consume you, if it hasn't already. Your posts strongly suggest to me that your female side is taking over. I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing, but that's where you're going. Plan for it.

[Lovely Rita]

I think it absolutely WILL consume you, if it hasn't already. Your posts strongly suggest to me that your female side is taking over. I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing, but that's where you're going. Plan for it.

You seem to be a real expert on the subject. Are you experiencing your female side is taking over?

I also agree wholeheartedly that the female side taking over is not a bad thing for some.

I would have to disagree with you though because if you really read my posts I am currently working on balance and if any facets of my persona were taking over I do not believe I would be taking measures to stay in balance.

My seeking balance is not motivated by guilt or self hate or any of that nonsense but the desire to live as full a life as I can and to also participate with my SO in making sure she lives as full a life as she can with the person she loves.

In short, I AM TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS, so that I that my family life does not experience the many deleterious and noxious affects I have read about on this very site.

I PAY ATTENTION WHEN I READ THE THREADS WHERE SOME HAVE ACTUALLY LOST THEIR SOs.
So my motivation is less selfish and more about the big picture.

IT IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT ME:D

[Oddlee]

Rita,

I'm glad you brought your wife back into this discussion. Significant Others and their needs have to be prime considerations for those of us who have others in their lives. My daughter will be off to college this fall; she is feeling enough pressure between student loans and completely new experiences anticipated, that the last thing she needs is for me to come out to her, either on purpose (which I'm thinking will happen eventually), or accidentally (which I'm pretty careful to avoid).

It's easy to get into what I consider to be a downward spiral with dressing - it's very similar to an addiction - where you sacrifice jobs and/or relationships to dress - I was in such a state half a year ago, very distressing. Fortunately, I had a good friend (ex-lover) who I was able to talk with deeply - about anything. She accepts me in either mode. Very helpful to talk to. I wish for all of you out there that you have someone you can talk to about who you are, and thank you, Rita, for your insight and wisdom.

Lee