What Is It About Going Out?

[Aloha_Dana]

Been thinking about why is going out so important to us? Are there those among us that are content to keep to our home? To the closet?

And when if/when we do go out, how do we differ from exhibitionists? We really want other people to see us, therefore, we are imposing our lifestyle on them. I mean, its no fun if nobody sees us, so what's the deal?

[Richelle]

Aloha,

You ask a very good question. When I go out enfemm, I do it not do it to be noticed and draw attention to my self but to enjoy wearing a dress, long hear, makeup and nail polish etc. Since we a restricted by society not to wear such beautiful cloths and accessories in public, the only way I can enjoy them is to cross-dress.

For me, getting all dressed up and then staying at home is a lot of work and is not worth it. When I am dressed I want to go out and have fun. SHOP UNTIL I DROP.

Remember this is how I feel and I am sure that there are a number of girls here that feel very different.

Richelle

[Stephanie Brooks]

Been thinking about why is going out so important to us? Are there those among us that are content to keep to our home? To the closet?

And when if/when we do go out, how do we differ from exhibitionists? We really want other people to see us, therefore, we are imposing our lifestyle on them. I mean, its no fun if nobody sees us, so what's the deal?
I go out to finally be myself. It's quite simple. I should have been born female. When I'm en femme, I'm finally right.

As far as others seeing me en femme, it isn't about exhibitionism, any more than being around friends, family, and accepting people in drab is exhibitionism. It's just validation of what I am.

If you were forced to wear stupid things all of the time - potato sacks, buckets, cardboard boxes - and suddenly had the chance to wear human clothing, you'd probably want to do so in public so that you'd feel normal for a short time. I know I would.

For me, boy clothes are stupid clothes. They're ugly, bland, boring. I was made for dresses. (Why am I like this?!)

When I go out en femme, for a few hours I feel alive, as though things are finally normal. Going back is so hard to do. :(

[Wendy me]

nouthing wrong with the happy closeted crossdresser or the one just weareing pantys under their drab things but if you ever did even a late night walk outside when no one can see or shopping or any outher place is to some a rush as was buying your frist pair of pantys.....it is wat it is to each one of us ........some do and some don't.......

[Fallen Angel]

Aloha,

You ask a very good question. When I go out enfemm, I do it not do it to be noticed and draw attention to my self but to enjoy wearing a dress, long hear, makeup and nail polish etc. Since we a restricted by society not to wear such beautiful cloths and accessories in public, the only way I can enjoy them is to cross-dress.

For me, getting all dressed up and then staying at home is a lot of work and is not worth it. When I am dressed I want to go out and have fun. SHOP UNTIL I DROP.

Remember this is how I feel and I am sure that there are a number of girls here that feel very different.

Richelle
i also love to go out its nice being on the other side doors open for me.men are gentlemen and the feeling of every thing is wounderfull there are days i stay at home dressed but its more fun to go out

[Sharon]

"And when if/when we do go out, how do we differ from exhibitionists? We really want other people to see us, therefore, we are imposing our lifestyle on them. I mean, its no fun if nobody sees us, so what's the deal? "

************************************
My feelings coincide with Stephanie's (Fractlgrrl) for the most part. I wear feminine clothing because it reflects who I am in my heart, and short of confining myself indoors all the time, I choose to get out and breathe fresh air occasionally.
I'm not an exhibitionist, Dana, far from it actually, and I don't do this for "fun." I am just trying to be me and I don't give a rat's ass if you or anyone else understands it or not. And who is it I'm imposing my lifestyle on? Just because we choose not to remain closeted away, doesn't make us bad people. My preference is for no one to even take notice of me.

[WanaBeGirl]

While like everyone else, I dress up at home and for the most part that’s as far as it goes. But I have to admit there is excitement at going out, not to mention that it seems kind of a waist to get all dressed up and not go anywhere. I think there was a thread about driving while dressed and that’s primarily what I do and generally late at night to minimize being seen while at the same time hoping I am seen...kind of a contradiction. Have yet to figure that one out.

[Holly]

Dana,

As you have already seen, there are as many different reasons for going out as there are crossdressers. When I go out en femme, I feel more natural and at ease than in drabs. Like Sharon, I'd be perfectly content if nobody ever noticed me because of the clothes I am wearing. But at 6'2" in my bare feet, by the time I slip into my heels, it's hard NOT to noticed. I'd be the happiest person in the world if when out, people respected and appreciated me, no matter what I was wearing. If that type of acceptance was universal, I suspect many girls who are closeted would gladly come out.

[Ava Mouse]

WanaBeGirl,

Yup, I know what you mean. It's kinda like making a big yummy cake and not being able to share it with anyone...

I've only been out about 6 times, and limited adventures at that, BUT it was sooo exciting and I was so hyper-aware of my environment. So aware of who was around me, who might be looking at me, etc. Nervous, and yet, at the same time, peaceful that I could really be myself.

Avoiding people, yet wanting to be complimented and talked to...

Passing is part of going out in public, though one can go out and not be seen... Not to turn this into another 'passing' thread, but in going out, I want to see if my appearance and behavior is convincing enough that people take me seriously.

I mean, it may be obvious I'm a man in a dress to some, BUT, did I do the job well enough that I earn some respect with my 'art'? hmm...

So, I guess I go out to get feed back. In presenting myself as a woman, did I do well enough to be treated as one? That's the real test for me, at least.





While like everyone else, I dress up at home and for the most part that’s as far as it goes. But I have to admit there is excitement at going out, not to mention that it seems kind of a waist to get all dressed up and not go anywhere. I think there was a thread about driving while dressed and that’s primarily what I do and generally late at night to minimize being seen while at the same time hoping I am seen...kind of a contradiction. Have yet to figure that one out.

[JenniferPaul]

For me when i dress up in the female role I need a stage where to act the part, and where else can I find that stage unless I go out. Some scenes I have been in include shopping in mall, dinning in restuarants, riding the bus, walking down a busy street, going to a fashion show, and going anywhere a girl would want to go. It does not matter if your are read or not, as long as you dress and act according to the image you present people will play a long with you. One role I would like to do is the one where in am working in a office in skirts and heels.

So, girls life a stage get out there play the role you like

Jennifer

[Helana]

Been thinking about why is going out so important to us? Are there those among us that are content to keep to our home? To the closet?

And when if/when we do go out, how do we differ from exhibitionists? We really want other people to see us, therefore, we are imposing our lifestyle on them. I mean, its no fun if nobody sees us, so what's the deal?

Interesting question and I think people have different reasons why they want to appear in public depending upon where along the TG roadway they have reached. For me its about just stating that this is who I am and I am no longer ashamed about being me. I dont care if just one person sees me or a thousand. The idea is to be me and be proud of it. I dont even care if they think I am a woman, a man, gay or straight. I will treat them with respect so I expect the same in return.

Are we imposing our lifestyle on others? I don't think you can say that is true because we are in public and are conventionally dressed. If others have personal prejudices then that is their problem. When I am in private property, the owners have the right to request that I leave and I will follow their wishes. I will regret their prejudice but will not make a scene. But public space belongs to everybody and is not reserved just for the moral conservative majority.

This is like suggesting that a person of a different faith or culture cannot wear the articles of clothing they prefer because it differs from the Western norm. If I wear my kilt in public am I imposing my Scottishness on others?

[Tristen Cox]

Good question Dana. As for me I'm quite content at home. Sure I'd love to go out en femme, but it's just not important. No one respected me for me before, why should I bother to go out of my way to give them something to appreciate now or face those that would rather be cruel as they always have been towards me. I would be happy around other crossdressers of course, no question about it. But as far as going out alone among people who have no understanding, there's nothing about it that appeals to me personally. This doesn't mean I wouldn't support others(as I do all the time) who do wish to venture out, it's just not my thing. At least not for the moment.


Love
T

[LindaTS]

Yes, I guess it is a good question. The one and only reason that I go out is because it's me. With any luck at all I may get the chance to go full time, which I realize isn't the goal of most women here. The more time I can spend in public will make it that much easier if that magic day ever arrives. But years ago when I first got real serious about dressing I started going out ocassionally and I think that was just for the thrill of it. I'm sure there are many reasons but this is my story.

[Melissa A.]

I'm not sure why going out is such an important thing for me. I will say that since I have gotten the opportunity to go to a club and interact with people who accept me, the kind of "stealth" going out I used to do has become a little less important. It's still fun and exciting to drive somewhere and walk around by myself, but the the thrill is fleeting and it can be dangerous. I have never had a bad time, but there's always a first time. You never know when you are going to run into a bunch of morons. Especially at night.

Now that I have experienced being out in a safe, caring environment where I can just relax, be myself and have fun, I much prefer that.

As to why, personally, I simply love being percieved as, and treated like a girl. I know at the club, they all know I'm a cd. That doesn't matter to me. They all still call me Melissa and refer to me as "she", and that's enough.

Maybe that's why walking around alone is harder. I love being seen by people walking near me or driving by and thinking I am a girl, but it is more important that I "pass" in that situation. If for no other reason, safety. At the club, with my gf, it doesn't matter.

Whatever the setting, I find going out fun and exciting. But the times when I dress and stay home are relaxing and fun, too. I don't need to go out every time.

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[Priscilla1018]

Hi Dana,

I dress at home and am quite comfortable with that.I have no desire to go out. I could'nt pass if I were wearing a mu mu.I am growing my full beard back at my wifes request.I came out to her about the same time you did to your wife.My wife is very understanding and supportive so how could I refuse her request? I will never go out in public.

Love and Hugs,
Priscilla

[Darlene.]

Hi all,

There's nothing about going out alone (or with anyone else) among people who have no understanding about who we are, that appeals to me. Nor do I aspire to educate the masses. I am content with allowing them to remain the asses.

My happiness does not depend upon them. as involving myself in that kind of activity, does nothing to meet any of my emotional needs.

I used to go out... at night... for the thrill of it, but no longer find that something that benefits me.

Love Darlene

[Amelie]

Different people do different things.
I can only speak for myself.
Before I dressed in fem, I was a punk. My friends all had the torn clothes blue and purple hair colors. So, when I first dressed in fem, I went out. To me, it didn't make sense to dress in fem and then stay home. If I told my friends that I wanted to dress like a girl, they wouldn't laugh or say bad things, it wouldn't matter to them. In fact if I told them I was afraid to go out dressed in fem, then they would laugh at me, for being a coward. I have always been around people who accepted how I dressed, so there was no need to stay home dressed.
It ws only later on in my life, when I met the suburban type CDs in the clubs that I relized that there were people who were afraid to go out dressed in fem. And it wasn't until I got a computer that I found out how wide-spread this way of life was.
I have no qualms about Cds who want to stay home dressed. This is something they choose and should be happy doing it. It is sad when other people in their community make it so the CD is forced to do their dressing at home.
Amelie

[Aloha_Dana]

I'm not an exhibitionist, Dana, far from it actually, and I don't do this for "fun." I am just trying to be me and I don't give a rat's ass if you or anyone else understands it or not. And who is it I'm imposing my lifestyle on? Just because we choose not to remain closeted away, doesn't make us bad people. My preference is for no one to even take notice of me.

Sharon, pls take no offense. I am not accusing any of us as being exhibitionists. I'm sorry if you percieved I had. I'm not the word smith I wish I was.

I have yet to go out and up until now, haven't considered it. In fact I told my wife that it wasn't what I wanted to do. Yet, I find myself, more and more, outside, walking around the house, down the driveway, and ducking behind whatever when a car or neighbor approaches. And all the while, I can hear little voices in my head to the effect of, I want to be seen, I want to be recognized, I want to be seen as a beautiful woman, I want to be sexy.

Another member here said that I seemed very male to her and that my CD'ing was just a fetish (thank you btw, I appreciated your feedback). I am very masculine, competitive, fit, get angry, yet I also love to dress as a sexy, beautiful woman. I know I have a healthy lingerie fetish, yet I keep wanting more.

Being a visual person, I have envisioned a 2 dimensional chart w/CD's who wear panties under drab clothes on one end to the post-op TG's on the other, with a common emotion that this is who they are (femme) and that they are simply comfortable en femme. Yet I don't see myself on the bar, but off to the side a bit. I come from the fetish side because my dressing is sexually based. I get excited when I dress and I want other's to see me a sexual woman. And as we all know sexual excitement is far from being comfortable and relaxed.

Getting off the thread here, sorry. My post was, honestly, a selfish one to help me figure out where I fit in all this, and maybe, to help others too. I'm sure I'm not alone here.

Thanks everyone for your replies.

[DonnaT]

Basically, for me, it boils down to FREEDOM

After hiding it so long, the first thing I wanted to do was go out.

When I did, it was for a walk. No one around, so it wasn't to be seen, it was just to be who I am, outside, in the wide open spaces. :D

[wendy]

I've been partially out, but wearing male drab clothes over top lingerie.

For me, it isn't about exhibitionism, but more like extending the duration that I get to stay in 'en femme' mode. I don't quite have the courage yet to go out fully dressed, but I feel this is the next best thing (wearing lingerie underneath and male clothes over top).

[windycissy]

For me, getting all dressed up and then staying at home is a lot of work and is not worth it. When I am dressed I want to go out and have fun. SHOP UNTIL I DROP. Richelle

I'm with Richelle on this: I'd get bored just sitting around the house in a dress. I dig going out because it's FUN! Nothing in this world is more fun than being a girl - trying on cute clothes, seeing my reflection while window shopping, sipping a coffee at Starbucks's while watching the world go by...I love it! :)

Windy

[Helana]

Different people do different things.
I can only speak for myself.
Before I dressed in fem, I was a punk. My friends all had the torn clothes blue and purple hair colors. So, when I first dressed in fem, I went out. To me, it didn't make sense to dress in fem and then stay home. If I told my friends that I wanted to dress like a girl, they wouldn't laugh or say bad things, it wouldn't matter to them. In fact if I told them I was afraid to go out dressed in fem, then they would laugh at me, for being a coward. I have always been around people who accepted how I dressed, so there was no need to stay home dressed.
It ws only later on in my life, when I met the suburban type CDs in the clubs that I relized that there were people who were afraid to go out dressed in fem. And it wasn't until I got a computer that I found out how wide-spread this way of life was.
I have no qualms about Cds who want to stay home dressed. This is something they choose and should be happy doing it. It is sad when other people in their community make it so the CD is forced to do their dressing at home.
Amelie


Hi Amelie

I have often considered comparing what punks do to crossdressing. Punks go out of their way to appear different, they want to be seen and be recognized as a different "tribe" and their appearance is designed to make that aim perfectly clear to everybody.

I wondered, if punks have no problems with dying their hair, wearing elaborate make-up, wearing outlandish clothes etc and then stand around on street corners with everybody staring at them, then why can't a CD walk about in normal clothes?

I very much appreciate your attitude and the attitude of your friends - you and they recognize that exterior appearances have got nothing to do with who you are. The fear of CDers are mostly in their own heads. It just takes a mental self-adjustment to comprehend that it does not matter if people stare at you, you should be happy and proud of what you are and not be afraid to display your true self.

Girls, particularly the very cute ones, are used to be stared at but most men go through life as invisible beings. Part of the nice things of being TG is seeing whats on the other side of the fence and realizing that being stared at is actually a normal thing in our society.

Helana

[Nikki A.]

My two cents worth. I would love to go out en femme and I am sure that I will at some point. I am not the outlandish type and definatly not an exhibitionist. I prefer stylish well fitting and event appropriate if not a little conservative styles (I'm no Cutie or Tiffany that's for sure). I am not imposing my lifestyle on others , they are imposing their lifestyle and mores on me..
Everyone has their own comfort level and goals and if they are happy with what they do, as long as there is no harm or illegality involved then it is cool and enjoy.

[Rachel Ann]

At my age, I doubt that I will ever be close enough to passing that I can confidently go out en femme, but I like the idea. The main thing that holds me back is fear for my physical safety. A lot of guys who would never lay a hand on a GG would just love to wail on one of us.

Were I to go out, it would be to feel the accomplishment of being perceived as a GG, to enjoy the freedom, perhaps even to catch men looking at me. :) Of course, also to learn more about what it's like to be a woman in this world. But mostly just to enjoy myself in the ways that Richelle, Stephanie and Windy describe.

Luckily, I get enough chance to be with other TGirls at my club and other local events that I don't have to be closeted and alone.

I don't really think that it's "exhibitionism" unless you're walking down the street in your scanties!

[RhondaLynn]

Part of my desire to wear women's clothes is to experience what a woman feels like when she's dressed. The sensation and texture of the garments - their softness and the way they slide about. I find that the overall effect of wearing an outfit - a skirt, hose, heels, blouse & breasts is that it imparts an overall calming sensation throughout my body. This calmness sets the mood for my femside to explore and admire her femininity.

However, I've found that to complete the experience, one must take it outside the house, as women do. Walking about, as the wind blows past your legs and under your skirt, getting into and driving a car - the feeling and sight of a skirt & hose under the steering wheel - these cannot be found in the house.

So for me, it's a desire to complete the experience of the clothing. I don't try to pass & goto malls, etc - I'm far from passable. But I enjoy wearing womens clothes. And a nice drive, sitting on the patio, or walking the dog at night really intensifies the calm feminine mood that develops.

When I'm driving or sitting on the patio, I don't exactly feel like an exhibitionist - I'm just relaxing in my liesure wear, enjoying the the sense of being in a different environment. I merely appear to be a guy wearing a skirt & hose. And there's nothing illegal about wearing women's clothes. So if I go through a drive-through, I'm not afraid. I don't attempt to either hide my attire from other people or blatently display it - I'm doing it for myself.

Sometimes I wear panties and/or thigh-highs under my clothes to work. I'm sure I've been busted by co-workers as I've squatted down for something and my pantyline rose above my slacks in the back. But you know, I really don't care anymore. If they accept me for who I am and my value as an employee, the type of underwear I choose to wear really isn't any of their business.
A few times through the years when I had to work a late shift when everyone else was gone, I've changed into nothing but panties, thigh-highs & a half-slip, and worked at my desk and around the office for hours. It was definitely another level of the clothing experience.

My suggestion: If you have never been out of the house, do it. Walk the dog. Go for a drive. It's your right to wear whatever pleases you. It will take you to the next level - it will set you free of your boundaries, and open new horizons to explore.

[Sherlyn]

..too me its quite simple...all dressed up and no place to go .....when im dressed.. im not content just sittin and starin.. at a tv or myself ..heh i dunno what the urge is.. i guess its like ...HE just goes when he wants .. and She still likes to..do things HE does..like shopping for ME..: ].. why should SHE be not able too... its a frustrating thing

[Mia001]

Hi,

I only dress at home. I went along to a support group recently and dressed when I got there but have no real desire to actually go out dressed.

If you're happy dressing at home then that's fine. I saw something on telly a while ago which said less than 50% of transvestites actually goout when dressed.

Mark.

[Aloha_Dana]

The fear of CDers are mostly in their own heads. It just takes a mental self-adjustment to comprehend that it does not matter if people stare at you, you should be happy and proud of what you are and not be afraid to display your true self.

Helena, do you know where I can get adjusted? Do I need an appointment? Can I set one for others? Like the rest of society?

Dana

[Sweet Susan]

Going out en femme is simply exhilerating and a total rush. Why? Not sure, but it is. I LOVE BEING OUT EN FEMME. TOTALLY LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Probably the single most exciting thing I've done since I turned over 40. Under 40? Well, I have had a smashing life.

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

why worry about if we r imposing ourselves on others when while we r out we have to deal with huge women in hidious momos or other such scarry clothing, short skirts on tree trunk legs with 3 sizes to small heels on fat feet. just my observation.

[pantysissy]

Part of my desire to wear women's clothes is to experience what a woman feels like when she's dressed. The sensation and texture of the garments - their softness and the way they slide about. I find that the overall effect of wearing an outfit - a skirt, hose, heels, blouse & breasts is that it imparts an overall calming sensation throughout my body. This calmness sets the mood for my femside to explore and admire her femininity.

However, I've found that to complete the experience, one must take it outside the house, as women do. Walking about, as the wind blows past your legs and under your skirt, getting into and driving a car - the feeling and sight of a skirt & hose under the steering wheel - these cannot be found in the house.

So for me, it's a desire to complete the experience of the clothing. I don't try to pass & goto malls, etc - I'm far from passable. But I enjoy wearing womens clothes. And a nice drive, sitting on the patio, or walking the dog at night really intensifies the calm feminine mood that develops.

When I'm driving or sitting on the patio, I don't exactly feel like an exhibitionist - I'm just relaxing in my liesure wear, enjoying the the sense of being in a different environment. I merely appear to be a guy wearing a skirt & hose. And there's nothing illegal about wearing women's clothes. So if I go through a drive-through, I'm not afraid. I don't attempt to either hide my attire from other people or blatently display it - I'm doing it for myself.

Sometimes I wear panties and/or thigh-highs under my clothes to work. I'm sure I've been busted by co-workers as I've squatted down for something and my pantyline rose above my slacks in the back. But you know, I really don't care anymore. If they accept me for who I am and my value as an employee, the type of underwear I choose to wear really isn't any of their business.
A few times through the years when I had to work a late shift when everyone else was gone, I've changed into nothing but panties, thigh-highs & a half-slip, and worked at my desk and around the office for hours. It was definitely another level of the clothing experience.

My suggestion: If you have never been out of the house, do it. Walk the dog. Go for a drive. It's your right to wear whatever pleases you. It will take you to the next level - it will set you free of your boundaries, and open new horizons to explore.
I once worked in an office with many atractive women and I used to LOVE to come in very early dressed in my garterbelt and stockings and heels and walk all aaround the bldg, knowing that in a few hours the place wowuld be busy with all these hot ladies right where I was standing. I even sat at all their desksin my femmy things abd it was exciting! What a thrill it would be for all of them to see me!\

[ToniB]

Had you ever though about how many security cameras you would have been seen on Pantycissy? Or would that have just added to the excitement?

ToniB

[Lycra]

Part of my desire to wear women's clothes is to experience what a woman feels like when she's dressed. The sensation and texture of the garments - their softness and the way they slide about. I find that the overall effect of wearing an outfit - a skirt, hose, heels, blouse & breasts is that it imparts an overall calming sensation throughout my body. This calmness sets the mood for my femside to explore and admire her femininity.

However, I've found that to complete the experience, one must take it outside the house, as women do. Walking about, as the wind blows past your legs and under your skirt, getting into and driving a car - the feeling and sight of a skirt & hose under the steering wheel - these cannot be found in the house.

So for me, it's a desire to complete the experience of the clothing. I don't try to pass & goto malls, etc - I'm far from passable. But I enjoy wearing womens clothes. And a nice drive, sitting on the patio, or walking the dog at night really intensifies the calm feminine mood that develops.

When I'm driving or sitting on the patio, I don't exactly feel like an exhibitionist - I'm just relaxing in my liesure wear, enjoying the the sense of being in a different environment. I merely appear to be a guy wearing a skirt & hose. And there's nothing illegal about wearing women's clothes. So if I go through a drive-through, I'm not afraid. I don't attempt to either hide my attire from other people or blatently display it - I'm doing it for myself.

Sometimes I wear panties and/or thigh-highs under my clothes to work. I'm sure I've been busted by co-workers as I've squatted down for something and my pantyline rose above my slacks in the back. But you know, I really don't care anymore. If they accept me for who I am and my value as an employee, the type of underwear I choose to wear really isn't any of their business.
A few times through the years when I had to work a late shift when everyone else was gone, I've changed into nothing but panties, thigh-highs & a half-slip, and worked at my desk and around the office for hours. It was definitely another level of the clothing experience.

My suggestion: If you have never been out of the house, do it. Walk the dog. Go for a drive. It's your right to wear whatever pleases you. It will take you to the next level - it will set you free of your boundaries, and open new horizons to explore.


I really love what RhondaLynn wrote. I totally relate to feeling calm and loving the feeling of my femme clothing on my body. For me, going out dressed femme is very important.
My first time was at a thrift store and i still remember the "calm" i felt when i finally did it all the way. i had on black Danskin shimmery tights, a wonderfully form-fitting nylon-spandex leotard, a cute cropped top, a leather belt bag, legwarmers and cute sneakers. i had a girls ball cap and i was wearing makeup.
When i went in i was wearing nylon like sweat-pants over my tights and leo because i was still nervous. but after i was in the store a while and the other ladies saw me, saw i was a femme gay guy and accepted me, off came the sweatpants! it was wonderful and liberating!! it felt so wonderful to be openly femme and openly gay in a place where i could try on all the pretty things i wanted to without fear. i just was who i am and the few women who were there just accepted me for what i was--no problems.
so for me, there is a definite thrill and liberation to going out and allowing yourself to be who you are in public. i don't go everywhere dressed as i was, but this place was safe and was a wonderful first experience for me. i will never forget that feeling of being simultaneously really excited and really calm. it sounds like a contradiction but it's true: calming exhilaration!!! :)

[Jenna1561]

I also feel the "NEED" to go out en femme. I enjoy dressing and getting made up and looking presentable if not pretty. I do so at home and enjoy it. But the thrill and the satisfaction of dressing are at their peak when I am out and about.

I don't know where the need comes from, but it's there. When out en femme, I am happy and scared. Happy to be dressed as I truly desire, yet terribly frightened at being ridiculed; not read and accepted, but read and ridiculed.

Terrified at being read, being singled out, being harmed. But, still I venture out. I try to be safe : keep to public places, go out mstly during the day, even though the chances are greater to be read in the harsh light of the afternoon sun.

But the exhileration of strolling through a mall, looking through racks of clothes, and yes, admiring myself in the mirror. :) I'm alive!

I am a big girl, 5'10, 262#, size 22/24, yet when I take my time and do a good job on my makeup and dress appropriately, I can pass to the casual, uninterested observer. Up close, a little more difficult, and when I open my mouth it's a definite clue that somethings don't just add up.

I know that I get read, but as long as they don't point, laugh out loud and make a scene, I survive. I love walking through Lane Bryant, Avenue and the department stores. I have never tried on any clothing in a store. Ithink that would be the ultimate - maybe someday.

I've rambled on way too much - thanks for being such great sisters and listening to me.

Jenna

[MsMichelle]

Like so many here, I must agree that it is a matter of choice. What is most comfortable for one person may be a hell for someone else. For me it solidifies the fact that I was simply born into the wrong body and I am correcting the error to my satisfaction. The fact that I can spend the entire day out enfemme and go shopping, go to restaurants the library etc and never get noticed because I am blending in suits me perfectly. I would prefer that I am not being noticed at all, and that I look like any other female out doing her business. It took several years to reach that state, both by appearances and confidence.
If I wish to get noticed I can do that very well too when out in the club scene. I need only wear a 13" mini skirt and a pair of stilettos and black seamed stockings and I can pop every head in the place to take notice. Again, it all comes down to a personal choice and the gift or ability to be able to do it, when you have the desire. For me though it's at least two - three times a week or I will be crawling the walls to get out. It also makes me quite moody at which point my wife will even concede that it's time Michelle got out. To me, that has an equal calming effect to taking a vallium or two.
For me, going to the bother of putting on perfect makeup and dressing enfemme only to stay at home is just an absolute waste of my time unless I am entertaining at home. Consequently, I simply don't do it. Having a very supportive wife, it's also a concept that she quite appreciates. When I am in female mode, it's all female and nothing in between. When in male mode it's all male. With the exception of wearing womens panties I don't wear any other items of female clothing ever. The panties only because I can't tolerate men's as they all tend to chaffe in all the wrong places. That is a situation that my wife is well aware of and has no problem with. When in female mode my wife also know that I will be going out even if it's only to go shopping for a few hours or out for a coffee. There are times that she may or may not come with me.
The fact that we all all different and have various wants and needs is a concept that makes the entire Transgender spectrum so unique.

Michelle Renee

[Noel Chimes]

After reading some of the replies, I had to give my own .02 worth. Having come from dressing at home, to late night drives, to my first party, my feelings are that I am not looking to draw attention to myself, but I simply want to live my life as I choose to live it; and that includes wearing a dress, makeup, and a wig. I am NOT some pervert trying to suduce your children, or your SO.
If a person wishes to dress and stay at home, that is their option. However, those of us that would rather leave the confines of our homes and venture out to the stores or wherever should be free to do so without the negative reactions of narrow-minded individuals who for whatever reason find us a threat to their way of life. First and foremost we are members of the HUMAN RACE. i just choose to live part of my life in a dress. Is that so dangerous? There are more things to be afraid of than a "boy in a dress". Or is it that when you look at me you see your own reflection? Is that the problem? HMMMM.
if I decide to leave my home dressed en femme, you don't have to notice me, or even acknowledge my presence. Just allow me to live as I choose to live. As long as I am not breaking any legal statutes, then give me the same space that you demand for yourself.
Hugs and kisses, Noel

[Virginia]

When Virginia wants to go out, she dresses in what she calls her "conservatively sexy" style and goes out. She goes to eat or to a movie, whatever, because she wants to and has the right to. She does not go out to shock people or to be seen, she goes because she want to. She does it not to make a statement, well, she is an ambassador for my sisters who choose not to go out or who may be struggleing with the thought of doing it.
Granted, the first few times were a real rush, but now the rush is still there, but it is secondary to as several of my sisters have said - it is who I am and if you don't like it - screw you!!
Good luck ladies with whatever your road is and just keep the faith!
Virginia