RobertaFermina
07-09-2007, 02:25 PM
Ladies and Gentlemen, (GG's thoughts/experiences Welcome!)
In being true to my adventure through the world in feminine guise, I have experienced many situations and feelings that I would not have understood from my 48 years of pure-'Guy' perspective.
I have experienced internalized oppression of realizing 'Giving In' to a pressuring male is a compelling short-term response for women. I felt the horror that I could be hurt if I openly stood up to a rogue or drunk male demanding my company and attention. :eek: I learned to speak discreetly to the Bouncer, and let him take the heat.
I have also learned, and to some extent relearned the "first kiss" and "pre-first-date" feelings....this time with a man.
I was at a club and fell into conversation, and then deep conversation with a fellow, and found myself opening my heart and seeing the beauty in him....and loving his attention very much! Heartthrobs, led to XOXOX which led to setting a date, for last night.:hugs:
All week long I thought about it: Surprised at myself, Scared (Bob was rattled!), and Curious, and Determined not to distrust the magic I felt in those moments and let fear cheapen it.:cool:
Well, I groomed myself, bought some lingerie (floor length tan Nightgown with matching Lace Coat), dreamed and fantasized about greeting him, making dinner together, or him for me, or me for him, breathing that "who knows what may happen?" air, and the beauty of "dessert.":daydreaming: I also was in fear about going to a relative strange man's home, would I be safe and respected, shouldn't I bring condoms, I wouldn't want AIDS!:eek:
What a brew of fascination and fear.
During a Saturday Afternoon Bath, and the course of the weekend I "let go" and resolved to visualize a beautiful experience to keep the fears at bay and bring in the experience I wanted.:GE:
Sunday Afternoon I was Enfemme at a BBQ Party with dozens of lovely people and waiting for a call to go forward (he was out of town). I was prepared and open for what may have come.
And it came !
....as a phone call to cancel the evening, and he would be out of town for the next three weeks.
I felt relief and joy ! :happy:
The fearful part of me was relieved that my worst fears were now impossible (unless we reschedule), and the courageous and curious side was in joy because I am just that - still leaning forward when such a possibility presents itself, and still looking for the best.
I got so much out of something that never happened....and yet the very essence of what needed to happen to make it work did :thumbsup:- I was ready and wanting and visualizing a fabulous date and a whole new world.
It occurs to me that this is maybe something like what GG's go through before their first date with a man ? maybe with a woman ?
Your similar experiences are welcome, as well as any comments!
Happy Adventuring !
:rose: Still Riding the Tigress! :rose:
In being true to my adventure through the world in feminine guise, I have experienced many situations and feelings that I would not have understood from my 48 years of pure-'Guy' perspective.
I have experienced internalized oppression of realizing 'Giving In' to a pressuring male is a compelling short-term response for women. I felt the horror that I could be hurt if I openly stood up to a rogue or drunk male demanding my company and attention. :eek: I learned to speak discreetly to the Bouncer, and let him take the heat.
I have also learned, and to some extent relearned the "first kiss" and "pre-first-date" feelings....this time with a man.
I was at a club and fell into conversation, and then deep conversation with a fellow, and found myself opening my heart and seeing the beauty in him....and loving his attention very much! Heartthrobs, led to XOXOX which led to setting a date, for last night.:hugs:
All week long I thought about it: Surprised at myself, Scared (Bob was rattled!), and Curious, and Determined not to distrust the magic I felt in those moments and let fear cheapen it.:cool:
Well, I groomed myself, bought some lingerie (floor length tan Nightgown with matching Lace Coat), dreamed and fantasized about greeting him, making dinner together, or him for me, or me for him, breathing that "who knows what may happen?" air, and the beauty of "dessert.":daydreaming: I also was in fear about going to a relative strange man's home, would I be safe and respected, shouldn't I bring condoms, I wouldn't want AIDS!:eek:
What a brew of fascination and fear.
During a Saturday Afternoon Bath, and the course of the weekend I "let go" and resolved to visualize a beautiful experience to keep the fears at bay and bring in the experience I wanted.:GE:
Sunday Afternoon I was Enfemme at a BBQ Party with dozens of lovely people and waiting for a call to go forward (he was out of town). I was prepared and open for what may have come.
And it came !
....as a phone call to cancel the evening, and he would be out of town for the next three weeks.
I felt relief and joy ! :happy:
The fearful part of me was relieved that my worst fears were now impossible (unless we reschedule), and the courageous and curious side was in joy because I am just that - still leaning forward when such a possibility presents itself, and still looking for the best.
I got so much out of something that never happened....and yet the very essence of what needed to happen to make it work did :thumbsup:- I was ready and wanting and visualizing a fabulous date and a whole new world.
It occurs to me that this is maybe something like what GG's go through before their first date with a man ? maybe with a woman ?
Your similar experiences are welcome, as well as any comments!
Happy Adventuring !
:rose: Still Riding the Tigress! :rose: