Buying Things Online

[Jenna Lynne]

I'm planning to purchase some breast forms and other nice things online, but that raises a security question for me. I'm wondering how others may have handled or would handle such a situation.

I don't want to use my Visa card with my guy-name. The reason is because guy-self is self-employed and has a website. Anybody can type that name into Google and find me. And because some of my regular clients are quite conservative, being outed would quite likely cost me bushels o' bucks.

So I'd love to know how to get a Visa card as Jenna Swift. Naturally, the bills would go to guy-name, and he would pay them. This is not about scamming for dollars!

I went down to a local bank and told them I needed to get a card for my "stepdaughter," who is away at college, and I would be the cosigner. They're happy to give me an application, but I would have to give them my stepdaughter's SSN, which would be awkward since she doesn't exist.

The boilerplate above the signature line doesn't actually say anything about perjury, so I don't think I could get in legal trouble, but it does say the bank may check applicant's credit rating, and that means a fake SSN might easily be detected. So I'm kind of at a dead end here.

Suggestions? Similar experiences? Love ya!

***Jenna***

[Toyah]

I may be a bit thick here but unless you are thinking of buying from your customers whats the problem ?

[trannie T]

Toyah is absolutely right!
You have nothing to worry about, vendors are used to selling to men and many credit cards for married couples are in the man's name only.

[Jenna Lynne]

I may be a bit thick here but unless you are thinking of buying from your customers whats the problem ?
Okay, here's a scenario. I'm not saying this would necessarily happen, I'm saying I don't want to take the slightest chance on it happening.

I buy something online -- doesn't matter what. Some part-time bozo in the mail room gets curious about my name on the credit card or PO Box. Possibly he has already heard of me. I wouldn't say I'm famous, but I have written several books that are in print (not on anything even remotely related to gender issues) and have received occasional thank-you emails from far-off places like London and Rio.

Possibly he's working in the mail room at that retailer because he already has unresolved issues with cross-gender behavior. For whatever reason, he checks the mailing address on the PO Box to which the merchandise is to be delivered and discovers that it's the same address as the one on my website.

So then, on account of his unresolved issues, he takes it upon himself to out me to the people in my local community, for whom I do an entirely different type of consulting work. I would definitely lose clients as a result.

Does the potential suckiness of the situation make more sense to you now?

**Jenna**

[Ermintrude]

I don't think it's a problem.

Online transactions "should" be secure, but it depends on the security of the organisation selling the goods.

It doesn't matter if you're ordering a new power drill or a pair of panties.

Any evil b******s out there who manage to get hold of your transaction details are likely to be far more interested in your credit card number than in what you bought. :)

[Jenna Lynne]

Toyah is absolutely right!
You have nothing to worry about, vendors are used to selling to men and many credit cards for married couples are in the man's name only.
I hadn't thought about the built-in "wife buying it" excuse. Thanks for pointing it out. Of course, I'm not married, but they don't know that.

I'm sure the vendors are used to selling to men. (Hey, back in the day I used to go into a local wig store and try wigs on while dressed as a guy. As long as your money is green and the store isn't crowded, they could care less.) That's not the issue.

The issue is that I have significant income as a self-employed person, and I'm not even going to tell you what field it's in, but I have a fair number of clients who would DEFINITELY flip out if they knew about my other side. So I want to be very, very cautious.

***Jenna***

[cdkrista]

You could aways go buy a American Express or Visa Gift Card. You can purchase things online with them. They are avalable at grocery stores and at the local malls (customer service desk).

Good Luck..

[Marla151]

I think the possibility of harming your business with your conservative customers if you are caught committing fraud would be much higher than the possibility of them finding out you bought womens items with your card online through secure sites; which could easily be pawned off as gifts for a wife, sister, mother, etc.

As far as the breast forms go, you had a friend or family member with breast cancer who couldn't afford them so you helped her out, then there is no need to disclose who as it is a rather personal matter anyway.
I think it would be much safer with less risk of even getting caught to begin with and less devastating consequences. It is less likely that customers would look up purchases and use the resources than it is for a bank to investigate a SSN, personal history, or credit history, or purchases on your card especially after the Patriot Act and all the new rules banks have to follow because of it.
Plus, I don't think it would make the local news if you were caught buying clothes for your wife ;), but getting busted for fraud most likely would. Just my opinion.

[Toyah]

I think that if you think everything out to the worst scenario then fine dont use your card. To be honest the chances of anything like happening are so remote as to be not worth considering for me the chances of anyone knowing you, your writing then associating that with your website and then having unresolved cross dressing behavior are quite frankly verging on paranoia. Please dont take that personally you are more likely to drop dead of a heart attack dressed, with a repressed poodle than any situation like that occuring.
Sometimes you have to stop the what if mentality it can totally stop you doing anything :hugs:

[Jenna Lynne]

To be honest the chances of anything like happening are so remote as to be not worth considering for me the chances of anyone knowing you, your writing then associating that with your website and then having unresolved cross dressing behavior are quite frankly verging on paranoia. Please dont take that personally you are more likely to drop dead of a heart attack dressed, with a repressed poodle than any situation like that occuring.
Okay, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I may be being too cautious, but then, you don't know the details of the situation, because I'm not sharing them with you.

I have only one question: What's that about the repressed poodle? I very seldom dress up as a dog. (Some people might think I *look* like a dog, but that's a different thing, and anyway, they can go fly a kite!)

***Jenna***

[gmss]

I think if you have a "standing in the community", political or otherwise, it definitely becomes more difficult to remain cloak and dagger. I think that's because of human nature; there is always somebody somewhere, wanting to get the scoop on anybody well known.

However, you can certainly take precautions and the internet can still be ambiguous..

Example:
create a new "anonymous" hotmail account, batman@hotmail.com
create a new paypal account, id whatever, tie it to the new hotmail account.
tie your paypal account to a bank account and/and or credit card, maintain a very minimal amount in it the account, and/or use a valid credit card with a low limit (just extra precautions)

This process will essentially restrict you to using paypal, but you can buy almost anything through paypal. It just removes the credit card name/info from the merchant sight. Of course, you then have to trust paypal... :rolleyes:

If you are concerned about delivery names and addresses, use an alternate or ambiguous name, at the correct address.


Just a few of the things I've found helpful dealing with internet purchases while trying to maintain anonymity and security...

Hope that helps.
Sherry

[Toyah]

Okay, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I may be being too cautious, but then, you don't know the details of the situation, because I'm not sharing them with you.

I have only one question: What's that about the repressed poodle? I very seldom dress up as a dog. (Some people might think I *look* like a dog, but that's a different thing, and anyway, they can go fly a kite!)

***Jenna***

I have an unusual sense of humour it just seemed to fit.
I was not trying to get at you but am bemused by your caution. I realise I dont know the whole story.
I am also cautious buying on line I have seen some software that would be handy but just have no knowledge of the company so wont sent credit card details to em

[sterling12]

Jenna, take a look again at your previous post. You had at least five "ifs" that you thought up. Your in Financials, think of the odds for any or all of those "ifs," to happen.

I know you can come back and sight Murphy's Law to me, but honestly I would be really surprised if all that stuff could happen. I think the chances of your going out in the backyard and being struck by lightning are a lot better!

In the final analysis, your going to have to decide how important Jenna really is. If your tired of hiding her away, then take a big breath and take the plunge! Personally, I spent too many years trying to keep Joanie from having her time. Finally, she demanded to be free. Neither one of us have done any regretting about it.

If you want a credit card in your Gurl name, apply for it. I understand The C.C companies do this all the time. I bet when your selling a client; at the critical time,you do everything you can to help that person make their decision. I think you have probably reached that point for yourself.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Glenda58]

I have bought cloths and lingerie for women using my credit card. It gets bill to me but sent to them. Nobody see the bill but you. But if you're using a company card that's another thing. Get a card with a small limit on it in your name on it and send it to your home address. If this doesn't work get a gift card. No bills once the card is used up go put more money on it.

[MrsDawnL GG]

I would suggest that you consider contacting Glamour Boutique in Las Vegas. My cd hubby and I went there a couple of weeks ago in person. Dawn had ordered shoes from them and was very happy with the first pair, but the second just didn't fit right. Since we were going there anyway, we stopped in. We couldn't have been more pleased with the staff. They are very open, friendly, helpful and knowledgeable about the products. We got Dawn forms, and new shoes. We had no problem about using our card. we felt very secure in using the card.

I will always recommend them.

[CDTiffany]

Everybody shops on-line now!
Including CD-Girls.
First off. Breast forms. I bought mine at the breast from store.
They are very cool. i even bought the wrong size to begin with, returned them and got the correct size. Credit card bill read TBS.
I have a PO box, that I have tons of thing sent to!
I know they know. but I dont care. Maybe they dont know?
Ebay seller. They want to make money. and they have been selling to us for about 10 years now. They dont care either.
Get your own credit card. that you are only planning on using for your CD stuff.
have the billing address be your UPS store (they have a real adress) credit cards will accept it. And go crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have made freinds with alot of ebay sellers. they know all about me.
I now even have my own seemstress because of an ebay transaction.
NO NEED TO BE WORRIED.

Hope this helps!

XOXO Tiffany

[gmss]

I have had numerous transactions fail due to my "address associated with the card" was not consistent. i.e. the address gets verified as well as the card number, and if the address doesn't match - transaction failed.

This issue was with a standard credit/debit bank card. That was just my experience. Maybe some of the newer ways (pre-load cards, etc.) might get around this problem, I don't know.

I'm just saying that it's been my experience that online credit card validation has been tightning up the last few years, assumedly because of fraud problems.

Anyway good luck. It's always a treat to shop anonymously.

:)

[sandra-leigh]

I went down to a local bank and told them I needed to get a card for my "stepdaughter," who is away at college, and I would be the cosigner. They're happy to give me an application, but I would have to give them my stepdaughter's SSN, which would be awkward since she doesn't exist.


There was a credit card thread just a few days ago; it mentioned a specific case of someone who had used their daughter's SSN in applying for a card in their femme name. Got detected, they got charged, convicted and fined, and they lost their job (possibly the conviction was a convenient excuse to get rid of a TG). The courts didn't buy the "But I didn't hurt anyone" excuse.

I suggest you look for that thread (it wasn't long ago at all) and see the suggestions people had there.

[Stephenie S]

Okay, here's a scenario. I'm not saying this would necessarily happen, I'm saying I don't want to take the slightest chance on it happening.

I buy something online -- doesn't matter what. Some part-time bozo in the mail room gets curious about my name on the credit card or PO Box. Possibly he has already heard of me. I wouldn't say I'm famous, but I have written several books that are in print (not on anything even remotely related to gender issues) and have received occasional thank-you emails from far-off places like London and Rio.

Possibly he's working in the mail room at that retailer because he already has unresolved issues with cross-gender behavior. For whatever reason, he checks the mailing address on the PO Box to which the merchandise is to be delivered and discovers that it's the same address as the one on my website.

So then, on account of his unresolved issues, he takes it upon himself to out me to the people in my local community, for whom I do an entirely different type of consulting work. I would definitely lose clients as a result.

Does the potential suckiness of the situation make more sense to you now?

**Jenna**

Jeez, Jenna, this is much too obsessive! You could get struck by a bus. You could be attacked by a rabid dog. Do you not leave your house because of that? Of course not. Because the odds are so slight. Your worries are almost laughable, hon.

But, you asked what to do, dodn't you? First, get just your intials on your card. That's easy, right? Then get a box address at the PO or at the UPS store or at a mail service. That's easy too. Then, stop worrying, it causes lines and wrinkles.

No one at a retail store shipping department or a catalog mail room has the time to even THINK of paying any attention to who a package is addressed to.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[trannie T]

What if I was buying panties and was struck by a meteor?
What if I was trying on a bra and was swallowed up by a crack in the earth?
What if you were to snitch me off to the Transvestite Police?

Jenna you worry too much. Go buy some panties and you'll feel better.

[serinalynn]

A couple of thoughs if I may: #1 look over the website you are going to buy from and see if you can find a phone number to call them. This will save you from ordering on line and if your not happy with the product you are going to buy it is easier to get a refund and it also does not place your credit card number (though encripted) on the INternet for prying eye to find.

Look on the bottem of your screen when logged in to the website and see if there is a close padlock symbol. The closed padlock will tell you that the site uses encription to send you information from your computer to their customer service department to make it harder for a hacker to get your card number.
Some websites like www.roamans.com, www.jessicalondon.com have a hacker proof symbol in the home page of the site and they test it everday, to make sure they potect your information.

Still the safest way is to call in your order. Don't worry about someone careing if a guys name is on the order many ladies who order thing use their husbands name. all they want is your money just like in the stores, they don't care whose name is on the shipping label

[Kierci]

Two words, GIFT CARDS or maybe 3 words PREPAID CREDIT CARDS Buy them with his credit cards then go shopping with the cards as Her they dont ask for ID for using gift cards.

[Rachael]

You think you've got problems. I recently introduced my wife to my paypal account. After taking care to hide my ID for many years I now find I'm buying all sorts of femme items openly under my real name. I have even jokingly been accused of being a cross dresser imagine that:eek:

[erickka]

Jenna, Prepaid Visa cards are great. I also shop website retailers that are CD friendly (Roaman"s Woman Within,etc.) simply because they respect the privacy of their customers. I, personally, have never had any problems with buying with my Visa check card. That's just my:2c: Happy shopping!

[Tamera]

Lots of Good advice here:
1. Get a 2cd credit card.
2. Money Order.
3. Gift Card.
4. C.O.D.(usually doesn't happen).
5. Checking account
6. Debit Card
7. Travelers Check

Just got to pick one....

Tamera

[Teresa Amina]

I have written several books that are in print

So you were doing research for a book....
Alternatively find a local cd/tg friend who can order your stuff for you. Eventually you have to trust to fate and not pay undue attention to the "lost everything" horror stories.

[MsTDot]

A few years back, an old "girlfriend" of mine purchased something from the states for me and when I received it, I did not recognize the billing name.

When I asked wtf? she said the bank called her up and asked if she wanted supplemental cards under different names. Of course, she jumped on it and got a femme name cc under the master acct. The banking institution didn't ask any additional questions.

Isn't it poss to do that anymore?