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Donna O
07-09-2007, 07:58 PM
This will long and pointy. Please read all more than once. As some you may know I am Peter (Donna ) Oiler of "Oiler vs. Winn Dixie. For a little more then two years , I was very much out and about. In doing so my s.o. and I meet a large amount of the so-call leadership of of the Transgendered movement. We were not impressed. We meet some ,that would flat out lie about how the helped us. They used these lies to better themselves, and there organization. the Truth is we found and got the A.C.L.U. to take our case with little help from the "Big Boys". Next the lie that we are (or were rich) is so far for true. Fact is the best years income I had was after i was fried, and that was 31,000 . plus we had to use 2/3 of my 401k just to pay bills. next lie that most ,if not all the so-call helping groups were raising funds to help us or the case, we never saw any of it,no re did the A.C.L.U.(so they said in Sept. 2002).

Now for some sore points for me.
As we traveled around(we paid fully for it), one of the first thing all most every one said to us , " remember me only when you win, I gladly take 1/2 of the money. The thing was that if I helped some group , a different group would bad the first, trying to get us not to help them. One group went as far as to claim that they help save an other crossdresser job ,by telling their boss if the trans was fried ,this group would file the same kind of case as mine. Fact this other trans went in to their place of work cross-dressed. , I never did so.

Now for the A.C.L.U.

First before filing they wanted me to lie,and say I was gay. Then at the filing, I was asked to pay the 150.00 fee, and would be paid back, as of this post still waiting. Next the first lawyer left a few days later. Her replacement had never had any dealing with a crossdresser. Wean he first came to meet us , he had the nerve to go in to New Orleans , on business , he wore cut-off,sandal, painted toe nail( I felt that he was laughing at me by the way he showed up). Than as the case went on he refuse to listen to what I had to say about the dirty tick that Winn Dixie has and still use. After the case ended they did not even say Thanks(nor did any group, or person), but asked me to pay them back,because "They wasted good gay case money on shitty trans case".

now for my views on how to help your-shelf.
Shopping, let me say this " What color is your money. I shop were i find what I want. I only had one S.A. say Honey do you have a card with your name, not your husband. my reply that is my card . She said I'm sorry ,I made the same mistake last night. L.O.L.

Eating out, We eat at mid -priced place, and if we get good service, we tip as a sigh . If not we tell the boss, and next time things got a lot better.

Church Yes I go crossdressed, and welcomed openly. Wife was help pick new pastor. His first call in New Orleans (He was born in mid west) was near the French Quarter. The members know and enjoy Donna better than Peter. You may ask what type of church it is well it's an E.L C.A. ( Evangelical Lutheran Church of America)


Work, My first job after W.D. was a whole sale pet supplies ,the boss i worked for saw me on T.V. and said as long i did my work well, he did not care. The owners said same. I stayed from April 2000 till Oct. 2005. The reason for leaving, Hurricane Katrina. now i am doing some thing totally diffident, making sheet metals part for heating/cooling.


Wife She has been(and will be) a big pleasing.

I will post more later

Rikkicn
07-09-2007, 09:42 PM
I'm really sorry that you had such terrible experience with our community. I don't even know what to think about.
I have had some wonderful expereinces and some terrible ones with various "leaders".
It's good that those experiences didn't slow you down.
I hope your doing better financially.

battybattybats
07-10-2007, 02:20 AM
I am aghast at the behaviour of many that you report but especially that of members of the ACLU!

The ideals they have often stood for are ones that I believe in deeply and to hear this kind of dreadful behaviour shows how far from such lofty ideals they are fallen!

Despicable and shameful.

:hugs:

Michelia
07-10-2007, 03:43 AM
I have been very busy lately, in part still recovering from Katrina and also participating in community efforts finding myself ( surprisingly so) representing the "T" in GLBT without coming out of the closet (a lot harder than i thought). I would like to know more about your case and maybe meet with you sometime.

From what I know, your case underscores what is in my opinion one of the two most important issues facing transgenders. There is a tremendous hole in the law when it comes to employment protection, especially in cases like yours when no dressing or cross-gender expression is taking place at the workplace. The other issue being the increasing number of violent attacks being on record directed at members of our community (FTM as well).

From my recent experience, the attitude presented by ACLU lawyers in your case is not at all surprising. On the positive side, they took your case and seem to have fought it hard. Or is this not correct? My contacts with gay leadership has revealed that although many people mean well and work hard there is also a lot of disagreement and ignorance about what to do about transgenders. And that is only the beginning. Why would you expect an ACLU attorney to be any different? If you had misrepresented yourself as gay your case would probably have gone much further. It is a credit to you and an inspiration for all of us you did not take the bait. We need more people like you in our community.

It seems most gays associate transgender with TS and have, like the general populace, no understanding of crossdressing whatsoever. This may be different in more progressive areas of the country but I am finding this to be the case in SE La. However, two weeks ago I travelled to to a large mid-western city to participate in a GLBT event and found the same was true there. 9 out of 10 people I spoke with assumed I was gay and could not at all get why on earth I would engage in crossdressing otherwise. Add to that an undercurrent of bias against feminine behavior amongst gays and you start feeling claustrophobic.

All this being said, I think we are making fast progress. It is up to us all to get more involved in whatever ways we can. One important way is to educate and enlighten your local gay leadership. Trying to shed you own personal barriers that prevent you from engaging and appreciating the gay/lesbian community and their struggles. I have learned that there are many willing to support our cause, but we must be willing to reach out to our GLBT brothers and sisters.

Finally, please give our transgender leadership the benefit of the doubt. They are few working with little resources. Yet they have made great strides in only a few years. And again, TS seem to represent the majority of the leadership. Part-time crossdressers like you and me are still to a large extent an enigma, yet we are a majority! And our earning power is higher, on average, than TS, gay, lesbian, and probably greater than any other minority except the Jewish community!

It is time for us to make more noise.

Michelia

Angie G
07-10-2007, 04:35 AM
Well I'm glad things are working for you now Donna :hugs:
Angie

Donna O
07-10-2007, 09:44 PM
I like to thank all of you
Rikkicn my last trucking job paid 17.00 p/hr. now making 9.50 p/hr. failed medical exam. Wife started a p/t job today, her first in 19 months

Bats good ideas can die fast in wrong hands.

Angies the best two things to happen since lawsuit are 1 30th. wedding anniversary 2 returning to church and people that have know me since childhood.

Michelta

Wife and I jot most of our repairs done by using insurance and 401-k The employment laws ,must come from the feds, because of companies doing business across state lines will say states can not be stronger the feds.
on violence God give us 10 laws, but made has made 40,000 laws trying ti live up to his 10. The A.C.L.U. will be a bad memory for a while longer. My core reason for the case was to be true to myself.

more later

sterling12
07-11-2007, 12:32 AM
Hi Donna:

I know it's small consolation, but your case is often discussed when TG People get together. Down here in Florida, I have often heard refence to "The Oiler Case." That's among people in Tri-Ess and other Groups. So, your not forgotten! It's too bad you had to suffer such bad consequences, and I think your case is a classic example that's sighted when people are talking about trying to get laws passed that would protect folks from such obvious discrimination.

Recently, I know they talked about your case when we went through Susan Stanton's Mess. Although not similar, they both raise the spector of blatant discrimination.

Obviously,I can't name names, but I know at least one other driver with W/D who is CD. My point is that they can try to shut your one voice, but we are everywhere. Please don't lose heart, I think there is a real potential for change in the next 10 years. Remember, people in the gay community had a hell of a fight....but look what they have won!

Peace and Love, Joanie