Wife's support

[Cheryl J]

After a million years of marriage my wife has accepted my dressing. For months now, with her support, I have been dressing up in the evening, wearing a nightie to bed and buying women's clothes on the internet. This last week-end we even went to a local clothing shop and she picked clothes out for me!
I told her not to do that !!! We went home.
But lately I find I can't dress up with her around, I have stopped wearing a nightie to bed and do not want to dress up in front of her!
Have I gone mad?
What is my problem?
What is wrong with me?
Help me someone!


Cheryl

[Joy Carter]

After a million years of marriage my wife has accepted my dressing. For months now, with her support, I have been dressing up in the evening, wearing a nightie to bed and buying women's clothes on the INTERNET. This last week-end we even went to a local clothing shop and she picked clothes out for me!
I told her not to do that !!! We went home.
But lately I find I can't dress up with her around, I have stopped wearing a nightie to bed and do not want to dress up in front of her!
Have I gone mad?
What is my problem?
What is wrong with me?
Help me someone!


Cheryl


I'd say your blimey daft lassie ! :slap:

[Slip Affinity]

Darn it ... don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

[Staci G]

I think I might feel the same way after hiding it for so long I am not too sure I could feel comfortable wearing anything in front of her, BUT then on the other hand I am leaving Saturday (already packing) and I will get to dress when I please. I am happy for you being able to dress and being supported that is awesome. Dont look a gift horse in the whatever....

[Plain Jane GG]

I am a new member to the formun, because I just found out about my SO's dressing in May. She dressed when I was not home, so that is what she was used to doing. The first time I came home and found her dressed after I knew, she tried to run. I think some of it was not sure how I would handle it, and some of it was not used to doing it around me. We are working on it. I have told her to dress because I understand now how it make her feel. This is what makes her happy.

Plain Jane

[AllThingsPretty]

After a million years of marriage my wife has accepted my dressing. For months now, with her support, I have been dressing up in the evening, wearing a nightie to bed and buying women's clothes on the internet. This last week-end we even went to a local clothing shop and she picked clothes out for me!
I told her not to do that !!! We went home.
But lately I find I can't dress up with her around, I have stopped wearing a nightie to bed and do not want to dress up in front of her!
Have I gone mad?
What is my problem?
What is wrong with me?
Help me someone!


Cheryl

I know how you feel.

Even though my wife is very accepting of my dressing. and very supportive by taking me shopping with her and helping with clothes and such. She did not marry me knowing of my cross-dressing and I to this day still have feelings of guilt when I dress around her. In my mind I think she does not see me as me when dressed, but she see's a freak in woman's clothing. I know that this is not how she see's me, and even though I am working on it, It is still hard to over come.

[Tree GG]

It takes a long time. I think - and he has confirmed - that it's good to not be in the closet anymore, but the fear of discovery and the guilt/shame of doing something you've believed to be "wrong" for so long takes awhile to work thru.

Don't pressure yourself or her. If you don't feel like dressing, don't dress. If you're still uncertain of how she feels about it, tell her. One day at a time - one skirt at a time. :happy:

[StephanieH]

I think you're going though something I've noticed before on the forum. Suddenly, when the wife approves, the desire to dress seems to go away to some degree or it goes away altogether for a while. Not to worry (or perhaps you should worry) I believe your "normal" desire to dress will return.

I'm not a shrink, but I think when something's been taboo for a long time, or hidden, then it's suddenly okay, part of the thrill of it naturally goes away. Every kid knows the cookie you sneak out of the cookie jar tastes better than the one mom hands you. It's mental and it will pass. Hey, a cookie's a cookie no matter how you get it.

My wife accepts my dressing when the occasion allows and I'm eternally grateful for it. I'm delighted on the rare occasions when we shop for something for me, so I haven't had the issue you're dealing with, but I've seen others have it. Every situation is different. In the end, I think you'll come back to a happy center where both of you are comfortable. Be thankful you have a supportive wife and don't get her even more confused by now seeming to lose interest, I think that may make her even more confused than she was to begin with. After all, what wife wants to think, "he can't enjoy this unless he's hiding it from me or I don't approve?" That's dangerous ground there I think!

Take care and God bless! And have fun! :happy:

[johnnaisacd]

The only thing that I can add ,is, Thank god I told my wife about my domie and latex crossdressing fetish while we were still just chatting via em on the net. even befor our first date. what a wounderful supportive wife I have now.We even cane wear each others outfits. the only thing I still athear to is, she is incharge of my dressing, we go at her pase and what she is counfortable with.

Just take it slow with your wife and let her set the pase. you'll be ok

[Cheryl J]

[QUOTE=Randi;932620]. Suddenly, when the wife approves, the desire to dress seems to go away to some degree or it goes away altogether for a while. Not to worry (or perhaps you should worry) I believe your "normal" desire to dress will return.

My desire never left me, being dressed and comfortable with another person did!
This may have something to do with my personality because for more than 30 years I have tried to raise enough courage to attend our local crossdresser's club (The Seahorse Club). Also I told my then girlfriend of my predilection before we became a solid couple! Thanks for all your responses, it does help talking about it. I love this forum.

Cheryl

[Barb Valentine]

I think that for some it's a private thing
Just so long in the closet it's hard to come out

[Kendra mtf]

After love making with my wife while we are both in lingerie I feel guilty and get out of my lingerie as quick as possible while she is in bathroom. I don't know why I do it. Any thoughts?

[Barb Valentine]

After love making with my wife while we are both in lingerie I feel guilty and get out of my lingerie as quick as possible while she is in bathroom. I don't know why I do it. Any thoughts?

I have an idea on what it may be
PM me when you get 10 posts OK
:hugs:

[Missy]

you ask for wife to accept and then after month or weeks she finaly dose eccept your crossdressing to jornary ends so here we go again on another road and then she will be all mixed up and not know where you want to go

[Kendra mtf]

Barb, I am new to this and don't know what after 10 posts mean?

[Country girl]

After a million years of marriage my wife has accepted my dressing. For months now, with her support, I have been dressing up in the evening, wearing a nightie to bed and buying women's clothes on the internet. This last week-end we even went to a local clothing shop and she picked clothes out for me!
I told her not to do that !!! We went home.
But lately I find I can't dress up with her around, I have stopped wearing a nightie to bed and do not want to dress up in front of her!
Have I gone mad?
What is my problem?
What is wrong with me?
Help me someone!


Cheryl


Cheryl,

Wow, I wish I knew what to say. I wish I knew why that is. Funny I am a completely accepting GG and yet the CDer I was involved with decided after 2 and 1/2 years, 1 of me knowing, to call it quits. I'm still not totally sure why. From what I've read, most CDer's would say he was a fool, however he seems to think not. After 2 short weeks he was already involved with someone else, someone I might add that he is back to having to lie to and hide everything from because as we all know accepting GG's are not that common. So altough I can't really help you with your problem I will say I have to agree with the conseses of the group. Try to work through this with your wife. It sounds like she is really putting herself out there for you and you need to really come to terms with the whole scenerio. Good luck to you. Be Happy. :hugs: CG GG

[Tip or Ozma]

I went through similar feelings for a short period about a year ago--embarassment mostly, I guess. Several months ago we talked some more about my dressing and she re-assured me that all was well. I certainly do not feel embarassed anymore.

[BarbaraTalbot]

One forbidden fruit seems sweeter or at least more exotic sometimes. Also if you have built up a wall of fantasy and rituals that help you accept yourself, when reality (ones wife) enters the scene, maybe you you suddenly feel a little silly? This happens to me sometimes.I find putting on heels and looking at my lovely legs helps in those instances@ ~grin~

I think the urge waxes and wanes. I don;t have any reliable self reporting because I was in denial until a couple of months ago and only was found out 3 weeks ago. Today, and I ' know why, i am sort of neutral feeling. didn't dress, preferred en homme. no reason, but also was feeling angry at the kids sloughing off once again cleaning the kitchen, and having to once again wash the very plate, utensils and cooking equipment I needed to feed my grumpy dieting self. In one sense, I felt unworthy of my GG's love while raging, and oddly, Barbara;s too. Or maybe I just wanted to pout.

[Cheryl J]

I know it is a bit late but I want to give an update.

I am very happy, delerious in fact.

I have overcome my phobia/reluctance/whatever and now comfortably dress at home whenever I want with my wife's complete acceptance.

We have even been going through women's clothing catalogues together picking out the things we like and need and purchasing them.

This very evening, after my latest purchases arrived by courier, I gave a little fashion parade of my new dress, skirt and top for my wife. She approved!

I am buying more clothes than ever and this weekend we are going lingerie shopping for me and I am so looking forward to it.

So a big thank you to all the girls that responded, it was liberating to read some responses and thought provoking to read others.

Finally to put icing on the cake my wife gave me my new name, her favourite femme name that is not the name of any of our female relatives.

Thank You Thank You Thank You Thank You

Hugs

Yvonne

[Shelly Preston]

Congratulations Yvonne

I am glad you finally manged to relax and dress when your wife is around it much be so wonderful for you to do this

Ensure she gets the reward for accepting you :)

[traceyanne]

i have a wonderful accepting wife, we go shopping together then try everything on and have a fun time doing so, but there are times when i feel a little guilty or even embarrassed to dress in front of her. i have spoke to her about it and she just tells me not to be silly as she enjoys it, just as much as me.
what have i done to have met and married such a wonderful person.

[Denielleinheels]

I think in a lot of cases we are used to dressing alone. We want the support but it is still "our" world. I am very fortunate to have the support of my SO soon to be my wife... It was scarey to dress in for her in the beginning. You can tell people all you want but showing them is a whole other ball game. I think the fact that she accepts you is wonderful. But I think you are having a hard time accepting her acceptance. You change quickly afterwards because you are affraid that the acceptance ends when the sex does. You need to try to stay dressed so you can feel good about you. I am blessed with Rose (I am her first experience with any one like me)... She is now comfortable around all my friends which many are gay/les or in transition. As hard as it may be, you must learn to trust her as she has learned to accept/trust you.
We really need more information as to what you are feeling/thinking to be able to help. Rose says you must trust her as honestly accepting who you are...don't judge her as you felt she would judge you. Believe in her acceptance and don't add drama to a situation that has actually become drama free. Talk to her,and ask her what she's thinking. It appears that fear that she has a motive to accepting you. Sometimes (as in my life) acceptance is simply that. You deserve it, she gave it to you so enjoy a happy honest life.

[BarbaraTalbot]

It is nice to not 'have' to hide and sneak. Even better by far if it is a fun shared activity. It is so fulfilling to see one of my little shameful secrets flipped on its head and becoming a valuable tool for helping my wife and I achieve real intimacy. Great job.