Hangin it up

[CrossdressinGoth]

Due to recent events that has happened in my life. Ive notice that cross dressing isn't for me. Its ruining my life more then making things enjoyable and its not only affecting me, its hurting others as well. My fiance and I are having huge problems and my dressing is a big issue that is constantly being argued about. I've had enough of it and I'm not gonna let it get in the middle of my life anymore. I started dressing for one reason, and I totally lost base with that. I dont know why I dress anymore and it doesnt do anything for me anymore except cause major problems so Im going to give it up because I want my life back on track. Thanks girls for all the support over the period of me being around here. Its just simply not fun anymore and it doesnt feel right. I just think that if I eliminate my dressing, I will eliminate a good 90% of my problems. Im trying to get rid of things that are giving me stress and honestly, this is one of the main things that does it. So, today Im going through all my cross dressing stuff and Im gonna be getting rid of it. Not sure how exactly yet but its all outta here by midnight tonight.

[Daintre]

Hi there CDiG, It always saddens me when a member feels that their cross dressing has become a millstone around their necks. No one knows your individual situation like you and you must do what you feel is the best thing. I do hope that you box up your wardrobe, put it in a safe place and deal with the removal of it at a later date.
I can feel the despair in your post and I hope that you and your fiancé can heal together. Good luck my friend, I will be here with an open ear if you think I can help.

[Sheri 4242]

Jenni's right -- you know your situation and must do what you feel is best!!! I've got to tell you, it sounds just a little bit to me like you are trying to convince yourself -- but hopefully I am wrong b/c the most imprtant thing is for you to be true to yourself ("to thine own self be true").

At any rate, you know where we are if you need us -- there are plenty of us ready and willing to help whenever we can!!! Even if you don't need us, drop by and let us know how things are going with your fiance!!!

Best of luck for a great future!!!

Sheri

[StephanieH]

If it's causing harm and it's not making you happy, you're making the right choice. This little "hobby" of ours, or whatever it could be termed, I think either is, or isn't a part of who you are. You know your situation far better than any of us, do what's true to yourself and those around you and you'll be far better off down the road. Life is a balancing act, just make sure you don't pick up more than you can balance. Take care! :2c:

[TerriM]

Hi
I can relate to what you are saying. This past weekend I had a wonderful time with my family. My grandkids give me so much joy. After they left I thought how easier my life would be if i wasn't a CD. But the reality is, that I am a CD and always will be one. I know that after of years of beating myself up numerous times. There were times during my life that Terri went back into the attic and didnt come out for a extended time. But I always knew that part of me was never going away completely. My advice is put that part of your life away. Im not saying forever, but maybe in 5 weeks, 10 months or 20years from know you will want to dress again. My key word in my life is BALANCE. Its not easy but whats the alternative?

Yours Terri

[Joy3]

I have been CDing for some 50 years and can well identify with your comments.

I have had similar feelings many times over the years and have purged my feminine things many times. Also I have gone for long periods not dressing, but it always comes back!

I do not wish to discourage you and sincerely hope you are successful!!

It is also important that should you return to CDing at sometime in the future that you not be to hard on yourself as I also believe you can still be a wonderful human being.

Would my life have been easier iif CDing were not a part of it? The answer is most definitely!!!

:hugs:Joy

[Brianna Lovely]

My fiance and I are having huge problems and my dressing is a big issue that is constantly being argued about. I've had enough of it and I'm not gonna let it get in the middle of my life anymore.


OK,I'll be the bad girl.

It sounds like your fiance and you have some serious rifts in your relationship. I personaly don't think this is a good foundation for building a loving and trusting relationship.

Perhaps, when you stop CDing, your SO will find something else to argue about.

I'd be a little catious and take a closer look at your relationship in general.

Best wishes in whatever you decide to do with your life.

Hugs,
Brianna

[JulieC]

I agree with Brianna.

Also, do not be surprised when the urge to crossdress comes back with a vengeance down the road, after you are married. You need to be prepared for that possibility in terms of your marriage.

I've never known of anyone...anyone...who has successfully and permanently stopped crossdressing.

This might be causing you negatives right now. It's caused negatives for me in the past too. I'm sure it has for most of us at one point or another. Laying off crossdressing might be a temporary answer, but it's not a permanent one.

[lynn27]

you should NOT pitch your stuff. Store it away, even if it is for a few years. Your feelings are going to change. Even the SO may have a change of heart over time.

I went thru many stretches without touching my things, but I always came back. SOMEDAY you'll be so happy you saved your things instead of dumping them. Work on your relationship and see if it is really the CD'ing. You might find that it isn't the cause.



Due to recent events that has happened in my life. Ive notice that cross dressing isn't for me. Its ruining my life more then making things enjoyable and its not only affecting me, its hurting others as well. My fiance and I are having huge problems and my dressing is a big issue that is constantly being argued about. I've had enough of it and I'm not gonna let it get in the middle of my life anymore. I started dressing for one reason, and I totally lost base with that. I dont know why I dress anymore and it doesnt do anything for me anymore except cause major problems so Im going to give it up because I want my life back on track. Thanks girls for all the support over the period of me being around here. Its just simply not fun anymore and it doesnt feel right. I just think that if I eliminate my dressing, I will eliminate a good 90% of my problems. Im trying to get rid of things that are giving me stress and honestly, this is one of the main things that does it. So, today Im going through all my cross dressing stuff and Im gonna be getting rid of it. Not sure how exactly yet but its all outta here by midnight tonight.

[Staci G]

I'm in the bad girl court with Brianna. Before i married my wife I quit crossdressing because I knew I had found the answer to all my problems. Thing is she let me know she thought it was sick and discusting when we saw a CD'er at the post office one day. I said at that time I see nothing wrong if thats what he wants to do (no I didn't say I do or rather did it too)
Now that she knows we are separating I cant live with the stress and I told her I would never dress again but there is always something else to fight about. It is called control and once she gets it she will keep it, It is a form of abuse and not one of us deserves to be abused..
Good luck maybe you feel differently than I but I am one that can not quit and believe me I have tried

[gennee]

You do what you think is best, Goth. If you never go back to crossdressing that's okay because there are more important things. I wouldn't purge your clothes because there's the chance that you may have an opportunity in the future to dress.

Gennee

[DonnaT]

Your reasons for CDing have changed, and since it's no longer what you want and you no longer get out of it what you use to, then by all means try to quit.

It's going to be a tough row to hoe, but you won't know if you can till you try.

As for purging, I say go ahead. You don't want something around for your fiance/wife to find and then start accusing you of lying or hiding. And she'll know you tried to quit. For her. Which should count for something, should you start again years down the road.

Sell your stuff on eBay, or donate it to goodwill for a tax write-off. Definitely don't toss it away.

Good luck.

[CrossdressinGoth]

Well, you girls are right, Ive tried and yet again Im finding myself dying to dress. I didnt get rid of anything, just put it away but I do see my dressing and "Britney" is not leaving me, and will always be apart of me.

[SatinDoll00]

One piece of not so sage advice...

...DO NOT throw out your wardrobe!!

I went through something similar a while back and I tossed everything...EVERYTHING!!

Let me tell you, I had some great pieces that took me some time and effort to collect. Six months later, I was comfortable in life and missing my things. Love can do a lot to confuse us as men...and it can do even more to confuse us as women. Seriously, find somewhere to store your things if you decide to quit, and give it 1 or 2 years, if possible, before you really trash anything.

Also, if you do decide to trash it all, let me know!!!! :D

Morgan

[Ekatcha]

In the simplest forms, it is a tough road to hoe. I've only been on this earth 31 (and a bit) years thus far, and I've managed to purge I don't know how many times. I've spent my life either running away or hiding from myself, through all sorts of sh*t. Don't really know another way to put it. Been married, divorced, drugs, etc... Done what everyone expected, done what I wanted, trying to do what's expected, be anyone else but me... and yet here I am. Miss a few things of my wardrobe of years past at the moment, but... I had to do right by me at the time.

I reckon you have to do right by you at the moment. You feel like purging, and maybe that's what you got to do. I'll argue for the put it away phase though... as it's likely you'll miss what you toss at some point.. and either way, eventually it gets expensive.

My real point is, if your finance wont accept this about you, what else won't she accept? Love should be about unconditional acceptance. I firmly believe that, though I've not experienced it. There's always been conditions attached in my life (still are) and I don't believe thats right. When my ex and I split, I thought it the end of the world... but it was truly a new beginning, I just didn't see it at the time.

Anyway... I wont say don't purge (did I say that earlier?) n whatnot if you really think that is the right course of action for you. One does what one has to do... but I would say think of the big picture items here. Ultimately which is more important, cding or the finance? Think long term, if you can only have one... and are you really really sure about that? More to the point, do you really feel you should have to make a choice, or do you think the real love of your life would dig you for you, no matter what? (a loaded question, certainly... but one worth pondering I think).

There a lot to consider here for you I think... a sh*tty place to be I think... but life is a long road to hoe and there's more crops under the sun, so to speak... might seem like the end of the line right now, but... the cannonball glides on.

*shrug*

~ Eka