Am i going 'Gay' ??

[andy.lawrson]

Hi to all!
I am 20 year old and I now days I am very much confused about my sexual orientation! I used to like girls I enjoyed having sex with them but during past few months I have lost my interest in girls I no longer masturbate thinking about them and to tell you truth I think of cross-dressers and ********/TS/TV. But I don’t usually think of guys or hunks, I think of them when they are cute and dressed in sexy female outfit. This feeling is so strong that I spend hours on internet searching for sexy cross-dresser/******** pics and movies and I want some cute cd to be my friend. Now I just want to ask you all what you think of me do you think that I am becoming gay? Because I think that if I will meet a guy who likes cross-dressing and he is cute, loving and caring I will be his boyfriend. Please give me your response I need some help I am so confused.

[dancinginthedark]

IF you had not had any previous thoughts of being with a male I would say you are not gay. Maybe you are just exploring your feelings and doing a bit of "What if" in a fantasy type way. Reality is most would not actually indulge is how I read some of the other threads of this kind.

Ladies? What do you think? Help little Sis out would ya? A GG just can't offer the same kind of support or assurances as someone in the same shoes <ok heels then not shoes>.

[Bridget Fitzgerald]

You may just be focusing too much on a newly found fetish rather than gay. Some people have a shoe fetish, but dont want to have sex 'with' shoes. Open yourself to that. And be advised, fetishes can screw up your life if you dont forcibly manage the amount of time spent with it.

[uknowhoo]

First off, Andy, I'd like to welcome you to our community. Many of us here, myself included, were very confused about a number of gender- and dressing-related issues when we first arrived here. This is a wonderful place to come, participate, have fun, and learn about yourself at the same time.

Now, to your question... I've heard the term "bi, when dressed" used here often. It would seem that a number of crossdressers here (maybe 20% or so(?)) while they don't consider themselves "gay," are probably bi-sexual when either they or their (genetically male) partner is dressed en femme. So, it's not that unusual. I do wish you luck going forward trying to figure all this stuff out, and hope you enjoy your time here with us.

xoxo

Tammi

[Emily Ann Brown]

I'll second Tammi's greeting and wise words on the subject. Just go really slow.


Emily Ann

[KandisTX]

I am going to have to agree with Tammi and her assessment of the situation. The term "Bi - when Dressed" seems to be more likely in your case. Often times when we are opening ourselves up more to our own CDing, we tend to focus, or become super focused on that aspect of things. Which tends to sometimes wind its way into our fantasies.

Kandis:love:

[Stephenie S]

I think it's too early for you to start putting labels on yourself. Just relax, experiment, explore. You can't tell if you are gay unless you try a few homosexual encounters. You may just LOVE it. Or it may turn you off. Go slowly, try different things, keep your mind open. But RELAX. Most people who are gay know they are gay, they don't wonder if they are gay. And it's not something to worry about, you know. Being gay is just how you define your sexual preference, it's not how you define your life.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Kitty Sue]

Hi take your time and explore. As long as your safe and respect yourself and your partner-man or woman that is all that really matters. You do not have to put yourself in some box that society has come up with. If your straight, gay or bi it does not matter so long as you like you. I enjoy sex with both men and women. But it as taken along time to reach that conclusion. Take your time, keep an open mind and continue to talk about your feelings and what you are going through. I am glad your here. Remember only you can decide if you are gay, bi or straight. Nobody else can decide that for you. All the best and I am glad you are here, love KS.

I totally agree with you Stephanie.

[Marla S]

Welcome !!!

Are you 20 (post) or 22 (profile) years old ?
Not that it would really matter, but ....

[StephanieH]

I think it's important that Andy didn't mention that he dresses himself, he doesn't say or imply that he does. He says he is attracted to "cute cross dressers." And, he says he has lost interest in girls. I may not have enough information here, but off the top of my head, yeah, I'd say Andy's switching teams (so to speak). And as Seinfeld said, "not that there's anything wrong with that."

I have noted a number of sites which cater to guys who prefer "********" and I think that's what Andy's become infatuated with - guys who can pass as women 24/7 and have often had breast implants and such. That goes a bit beyond fetish, that's a sexual preference.

I wouldn't worry about it Andy, only you know how you feel inside. One caution tho, don't get wrapped up in internet porn and crud like that no matter what you're doing, it's not real and it can lead to some seriously screwed up expectations and a lot of guilt and depression.

Find yourself a counseler and work this out. You might be gay, you might be curious; you're at an age when hormones are still running rampant, so don't be surprised that you're experiencing changes.

Take care and God bless! :2c:

[andy.lawrson]

Thank you for all your replies.
I once had some ‘homosexual’ experience but I didn’t liked that all, may be I am more "Bi - when Dressed" or it’s a kind of fetish that is developing inside me. I know being gay is not bad but what I know is for sure that I am not gay. But I can’t just control my self from seeing the pics and movies of cd/*******/ts/tv. How can I tell these things to my friends? Or in the first place should I tell them or not? Will I be able to keep a good relationship with any girl in future?

[Jocee]

I think you are just exploring your sexuality and preferences.... Gay, Bi, Straight, whatever.... they are all labels and as such all carry a lot of stigma. One of my friend is openly gay. He is a little freaked out because he has been having a lot of straight fantasies lately...... point is sexuality is fluid, just like gender.....

[andy.lawrson]

Randi thanx for your nice words
I don't crossdress myself but I like it when some one else does it may be I need some counseling or keep myself busy just to get over it because I don’t want to feel sexually and mentally frustrated later in my life. I don’t want to be confused on my sexual orientation

[Catherine_CD]

I think people worry too much on 'standard sexual orientations' after all sorts of relationships - I just dont care what pigeon hole others try to put me in - cuz i dont fit in any. The main thing is to be happy in the person you are, and not to waste time on what others think

[Kyoko]

Andy,welcome to the forum.I feel the same way as you.I like making new
friends.Please feel free to PM me.I will tell you my story.So,where do you
live Andy?

[joann07]

Just like everyone else said, you're still young and exploring your sexuality so its not uncommon for young adults like yourself. Just let things run its course and eventually things will fall into place.

Best of luck.

[Wenda]

I don't think you 'turn' gay, like getting the flu. At the same time I will share with you that I dressed during my teens, then stopped before I got married (21 years old). I had some dressing fantasies and fun (went to a Halloween party as Wonder Woman), but never really was pre-occupied with it. Got divorced in 2001 (30+ years), and rediscovered dressing on a trip out of town in 2004. It was like a dam had burst. I was trying on Thigh HIgh Boots, and was so excited I was shaking. The boots didn't fit, but I was hooked and open and ready to dress.
When I got home, the first person I shared it with was my SO. She was really uncomfortable. She had most of the stereotypes of "trannies", BUT she was prepared to try to understand (she is awesome!).
Two months later, we went on a long-weekend trip out of town and she met Wenda. Deadly combination. Cost my credit card plenty!
The point to this ramble? There was another sister on this site with whom I shared pics and vids. She was an exceptionally attractive she-male. My homosexual experiences (2) were not pleasant, and I generally don't find guys attractive, but watching her (his) videos, even though I knew she (he) was genetically male, was arousing for me. She (he) felt fairly certain that meant I was somewhat bi-sexual. A bit of a surprise to me. But then, when I went out to a function dressed in a short short bicycle skirt etc, as a cheerleader, and when we went to the bar later, and when the bi-girls hit on me, that was kind of different as well.
As some of the other girls have advised, don't sweat it trying to put yourself into a cubicle with a label. We have been brought up to believe there are two genders, Male and Female. A third sub-gender is 'Weird". According to most research, Gender is not a black/white male/female issue. It seems there are something like 16 identifiable degrees of gender between '100 &#37; male" and "100 % female".
I have gay friends and share with them that I just tread water in the transgender pool. They are ok with that description.
Try to focus on: who you are, who/what you like, where you see yourself in 5 years, and be respectful of others' preferences.
All the best, wenda

[Kate Simmons]

Cheeze whiz Hon. Gay means happy, so if it makes you happy, I guess it makes you gay, which means if it makes me happy, I guess I'm gay as well. Can't be all bad, I reckon.:heehee:

[MarinaTwelve200]

Seeing as how you were previously attracted to girls, suggests you are likely not gay----But notice that you are attracted to guys who LOOK like girls---You LIKE girls--or at least people who look like them, which is a strong indicator of hetrosexuality. The fact that the "Girls" that you are attracted to are really guys likely adds a fetish/sadomasochist/humiliation twist of "excitement"--which you perhaps project to or identify with.

A gay man would be attracted to people who LOOK like MEN, You like what WOMEN look like. The guy as girl thing is likely what turns you on and is a fetish/SM thing rather than sexuality.

[insearchofme]

Listen to Marina, good advice!

[andy.lawrson]

thank you all, i feel much better now
may be i am slight confused but i guess i will be ok as time goes by
and i'll be clear in my mind that who am i and what i want

[wifesundies]

it's all good advice, go with it

[ChastityInFemme]

i, too, feel a strong attraction to ********. although i dont see them as a man...i see them as a woman. and when i dress, i want to be with a woman...or *******. theres a lot of ******** that are extremely attractive too ;)

[karla2016]

Yes you are gay!:love:

[stephanie12]

I don't know if this will help but this was my experience. I am a bi-sexual MTF crossdresser. When I am in my normal male persona I'm interested in women, but when I'm in my female persona I become interested in men. I fortunately have a girlfriend who accepts and supports me. Now it took me over 15 years to get to this point in my life. I'm almost 35 years old and I struggled with both my crossdressing and bi-sexuality for years. I'm currently getting divorced from an abusive ex-wife who when I told her about both desires she shot both down and I had to retreat into the closet. I've crossdressed since I was a child and when I entered my late teens I started to desire men in addition to women. I was always told that crossdressing and gay/bi-sexuality were wrong and evil, so for years I struggled with both. Finally I came to terms with both and now I'm living the happy life that I always looked for. So in the end it may take time for you to come to terms with your desires, but try not to bash yourself too hard while finding your way. You'll only hurt yourself in the end.

[urbanchamp]

having a crossdresser/******* FETISH is different from being gay.

[Chelseaswpa]

I guess I should weigh in here. I too have the same feelings as you. I am attracted to gg's in a way that is hard to desrcibe- I like pretty gg' as in I want to be one. More than just dressing I would get boobs if i could. I consider myself gay I guess- beacause I am attracted to SOME men. There are only certain males that turn me on sexually. I am also attracted to penises sexually- I really prefer the company of other CD/TG's mostly. So attraction to "********" is very natural to me. Label are difficult as there are so many different preferences among humans. Please be careful and enjoy experimenting sexually.

[Mitch23]

Thank you for all your replies.
I once had some ‘homosexual’ experience but I didn’t liked that all, may be I am more "Bi - when Dressed" or it’s a kind of fetish that is developing inside me. I know being gay is not bad but what I know is for sure that I am not gay. But I can’t just control my self from seeing the pics and movies of cd/*******/ts/tv. How can I tell these things to my friends? Or in the first place should I tell them or not? Will I be able to keep a good relationship with any girl in future?
Like you Andy, my boundaries are becoming more and more fuzzy and I find myself being attracted by cute little t girls as I have explained elsewhere. Dunno what it means - just go with the flow - but be careful!

Mitch

[LaFem]

Yes, you have at least a slight "gay streak" ******** are homosexual men who dress and act (and probably feel) like women, to turn on and have sex with men. If you are attracted to them, you are probably gay or at least bi. Remember, they got a penis.

[LaFem]

It is what it is.

******** got a penis.

[Mistybtm]

I think people worry too much on 'standard sexual orientations' after all sorts of relationships - I just dont care what pigeon hole others try to put me in - cuz i dont fit in any. The main thing is to be happy in the person you are, and not to waste time on what others think

I totaly agree. :D
Mistybtm

[christina marie]

i agree with Shushu you are the only one who really cares what you think,(please do not take offense, none is intended) and are the only one who has to live with it. take the time to find out who you really are and what you really like. you owe it to yourself.what does it matter what anyone else thinks? they dont have to live in your skin. be true to your self, be safe, and be respectful to and of others. if you can get to that point, you will be ahead of most!