Cai
07-15-2007, 09:56 PM
Oh, it's good to be home again. A real bed - this week I've slept on the floor twice, a sofa two nights, and a camp bed out in a trailer the rest of the time. I might actually get some real sleep.
The trip went surprisingly well - I think everyone was better behaved because all my cousin's friends came for her party. No major fights, and I managed to stay out of the smaller skirmishes that went on. I did not get on well with my mother, but I don't have to see her again for 2 weeks, so whatever. I made some major discoveries this week.
First off, I discovered that I'm going to see a boy in the mirror no matter what. I was getting changed one night, pulled off my shirt and bra in front of the mirror, and saw a slim, muscular, attractive guy in tight jeans. Doesn't seem to matter what I wear, I am who I am. :happy:
Second, today at the airport went really well as a guy. I changed in the women's bathroom (went in obviously female, and risked changing because the mood I was in, the next person to call me "ma'am" was likely to have their head taken off) and did the rest of the day in guy's jeans and a Superman t-shirt. Had a great discussion on transgenderism with a businessman I'd met in line for security as female, and then turned out to be on my flight, and recognized my bags but not me, and thought for a second someone had stolen my case. I explained why I'd changed, and he was really cool about it. Got "sir", "miss", and "sir" in succession from the 3 flight attendants, and confused the heck out of someone in the seat beside me by being convincingly male but having them recognize that my college is women-only (I sort of lied by omission by saying that they accept men in some programs now - they do, just not mine). The guy on whose head I nearly dropped my bag waved it off with "Don't worry about it, dude." And in every case, I was thrilled to be taken as male.
And thirdly, hiding this week means I want to start testing the waters to come out to my dad. My sister is out of the country until next Sunday, so this week would be an ideal time to talk to him. He'd get some time to deal with it. I have no intention of telling my sister or my mom (yet, maybe ever), but I want to tell my dad. I'm going to bring it up slowly, and see how he reacts to similar situations in other people first, but I want to try and tell him this week.
That was long, and I hope it made sense.
The trip went surprisingly well - I think everyone was better behaved because all my cousin's friends came for her party. No major fights, and I managed to stay out of the smaller skirmishes that went on. I did not get on well with my mother, but I don't have to see her again for 2 weeks, so whatever. I made some major discoveries this week.
First off, I discovered that I'm going to see a boy in the mirror no matter what. I was getting changed one night, pulled off my shirt and bra in front of the mirror, and saw a slim, muscular, attractive guy in tight jeans. Doesn't seem to matter what I wear, I am who I am. :happy:
Second, today at the airport went really well as a guy. I changed in the women's bathroom (went in obviously female, and risked changing because the mood I was in, the next person to call me "ma'am" was likely to have their head taken off) and did the rest of the day in guy's jeans and a Superman t-shirt. Had a great discussion on transgenderism with a businessman I'd met in line for security as female, and then turned out to be on my flight, and recognized my bags but not me, and thought for a second someone had stolen my case. I explained why I'd changed, and he was really cool about it. Got "sir", "miss", and "sir" in succession from the 3 flight attendants, and confused the heck out of someone in the seat beside me by being convincingly male but having them recognize that my college is women-only (I sort of lied by omission by saying that they accept men in some programs now - they do, just not mine). The guy on whose head I nearly dropped my bag waved it off with "Don't worry about it, dude." And in every case, I was thrilled to be taken as male.
And thirdly, hiding this week means I want to start testing the waters to come out to my dad. My sister is out of the country until next Sunday, so this week would be an ideal time to talk to him. He'd get some time to deal with it. I have no intention of telling my sister or my mom (yet, maybe ever), but I want to tell my dad. I'm going to bring it up slowly, and see how he reacts to similar situations in other people first, but I want to try and tell him this week.
That was long, and I hope it made sense.