OK Newbie questions here....(abbreviations)

[Felixi]

I am a newcomer to this forum and my reason for being here is to try and understand the "inner person" of a lifelong friend who has been CD'ing for his entire adult life (30 plus years). It is not a lifestyle I engage in, but again, I'm not judgmental here. As previously posted on here, he is unaware the his 3 close friends has accidentally discovered his "secret". We promised ourselves to be supportive and try to better understand his need to CD and socialize with others who also share it.

In reading some of your posts in here, I'm finding some abbreviations difficult to understand. So far I have concluded that:

1. CD= Cross Dress (ing)
2. SO= Significant Other (partner, mate, etc.)
3. GG=I have no clue..... can I ask and not be considered rude?
4. Any others that go with these posts so that understanding friends can not be left in a state of ignorance.

Thanks.

[angelfire]

GG = Genetic Girl

[Felixi]

GG = Genetic Girl

OK Thanks, I was trying all kinds of words but none made sense.

[SandyR]

Felix,

Its cool you has friends care. Not sure even my best man at my wedding would understand. so Coo!

GG= Real Girl
SO = signifigant other, I spouse or GF.

Hope this helps.

SandyR

[Country girl]

We are all here to help in any way we can. Cding is commonly misunderstood. I think as a GG one of the first mistakes a lot of people make is assuming right off that the person who CD's is gay. In most cases, this isn't true. Not always, but usually the man who CD's is straight. He likes to WEAR women's clothing, but is completely heterosexual. I'm sure if your friend knew that you knew about his CDing, esspecially if you ARE going to be supportive, he would be relieved to finally have someone to talk to about it. I think the sooner you let him know you know, the better. If you need or want more info don't hesitate to ask. :happy: CG GG

[Rachel Morley]

CDer = crossdresser
TS = transsexual
TG = transgendered

There are tons of acronyms. On another note, to come here, become a member, so you can post (reading to learn doesn't require membership) is highly commendable and somewhat remarkable. Unless you are "the friend" this is outstanding :hugs:

[Felixi]

I think as a GG one of the first mistakes a lot of people make is assuming right off that the person who CD's is gay. In most cases, this isn't true. Not always, but usually the man who CD's is straight. He likes to WEAR women's clothing, but is completely heterosexual. I'm sure if your friend knew that you knew about his CDing, esspecially if you ARE going to be supportive, he would be relieved to finally have someone to talk to about it.

Here, again, not being judgmental but according to what we found out, he has met one other CD person (M-F) for some "fun activity". That can of course mean mean many thing other than "doing it all" as a girl. We have concluded that he is probably bi. It matters not really one way or the other.

As far as broaching the subject with him, I'm not sure that he would be comfortable to disclose that we "know" in any way. He has kept it secret for so many decades and not sure of the mental anguish it may cause to reveal that his most guarded secret is no longer a secret.

I do not think he would go "postal" but would possibily feel violated in some way. Maybe let him do it in his own time.


CDer = crossdresser
TS = transsexual
TG = transgendered

There are tons of acronyms. On another note, to come here, become a member, so you can post (reading to learn doesn't require membership) is highly commendable and somewhat remarkable. Unless you are "the friend" this is outstanding :hugs:

I am indeed one of the 3 friends.

[Valerie Nicole]

Here, again, not being judgmental but according to what we found out, he has met one other CD person (M-F) for some "fun activity". That can of course mean mean many thing other than "doing it all" as a girl.

"Fun activity" could be many things. It might simply be some girl time where they dress up and maybe go out shopping. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions, and if you want to know for sure, the best way is to approach him/her, sooner or later, and let him/her know that you know.

[trannie T]

Her's a few more:

en femme- wearing women's clothing
en homme- wearing men's clothing
drag- 1, women's clothing
2, the act of wearing women's clothing
drag queen- a man (usually homosexual) who wears flamboyant clothing and makeup.
drab- men's clothing
closet- where some of us keep our clothes and where others hide.

hope that this may help.

[Jenna Lynne]

I think as a GG one of the first mistakes a lot of people make is assuming right off that the person who CD's is gay. In most cases, this isn't true. Not always, but usually the man who CD's is straight. He likes to WEAR women's clothing, but is completely heterosexual.
I've seen this opinion stated numerous times. Heck, I've said it myself -- about myself -- for many years. But it seems to me that homophobia is really out of place on this forum. I don't see how I can just sit back and let someone say "crossdressers are usually not gay" as if that's a GOOD thing.

Simple logic: If you're implying that it's GOOD that the crossdresser is not gay, then you must be saying that being gay would be BAD. I don't see any other way to understand this point of view. And I reject it.

I also wonder about the phrase "completely heterosexual" in your response. I guess I don't know what it means. If it means "sexually aroused by a nude partner of the other anatomical sex, and by nothing else," then I think the responses to a recent thread on this forum would provide some statistical evidence that you're wrong. The impression I got was that more than 50% of crossdressers are sexually aroused by dressing. So, uh, that means they're not "completely heterosexual," doesn't it?

Maybe you intended a narrower meaning for the phrase. If "completely heterosexual" means "anatomically male, and never actually had sex with a man," you may be right that most crossdressers are heterosexual ... but I'm pretty sure there are a few celibate Catholic priests around who identify themselves as homosexual, but would be classified as heterosexual by that definition.

So as I said, I don't think I understand what the phrase means. But I _am_ sure that presenting it as a good thing is an insult to our gay brothers and sisters.

I think it's both hilarious and tragic that gay men feel the need to say, "But we're not crossdressers!" while the crossdressers are busy saying, "But we're not gay!" Can we all just get along?

***Jenna***

[Mitch23]

Yes Jenna, I agree totally with what you say and have fallen into that homophobic trap myself. The fun activity may be dressing up, doing makeup, glamour pics, going shopping or anything. Did this with another CDer myself yesterday. Such an innocent, girlie time together!

Mitch

[Stlalice]

Jenna,

No need or reason to be distressed about the idea that the majority of CD'ers tend to be hetero males. What is in play here is that "sexual orientation", "gender identity", and "physical sex" are concepts that need to be taken and thought of separately to avoid confusion. The easy one first - "physical sex" is just that - effectively what is between your legs and some secondary characteristics that society uses as a clue about how to approach and deal with somebody. "Gender identity" is who we are and how we view ourselves as male, female, or somewhere in between. CD'ers often have a feminine side to their personality that they need to express from time to time. "Sexual orientation" is who we are attracted to or love. Considered separately it is much easier to deal with why someone could be hetero male and a CD. Problem is that society as a whole lumps all three together as one and the result is a lot of confusion and pain for all. :2c:

[Marcie Sexton]

Good for you, sounds as though youre a special type of friend...I would broach the subject with him by in a subtle, coy type way, letting him know exactly how you feel...Allow him to come out to you, not you come in to him if that makes any sense...

Support and trust is the things that brings out the friendships in people...

[Reba Kay]

Thanks for the correct termiology, makes it easyer to understand Reba Kay

[Kate Simmons]

We will help in any way we can Felixi. The main thing is to re-assure your friend (if he does find out you know) that you are his friend no matter what and value him as such. I value my friends for who they are and always accept them as such and expect the same in return, nothing more, nothing less. Anyway, if there is anything specific you'd like to know , feel free to PM me. I'm anything but bashful and I know just how important understanding is.:happy:

[Jenna Lynne]

"Sexual orientation" is who we are attracted to or love.
I think you're mixing up two different things. My affectional orientation is toward women. My sexual orientation is toward crossdressing -- it's not toward any "who" at all.

***Jenna***

[Stlalice]

I think you're mixing up two different things. My affectional orientation is toward women. My sexual orientation is toward crossdressing -- it's not toward any "who" at all.

***Jenna***

That is where and why people get fouled up trying to sort things out. Sexual orientation is about WHO you are attracted to. Crossdressing is more about gender identity. There is a goodly bit of published material out there that would seem to confirm that many or most CD's have what could best be described as a very mild form of gender dysophoria aka gender identity disorder. Think of it as a femme side to their character that they need to express to varying degrees. They are OK with being male and are more than likely hetero in orientation. Transsexuals on the other hand identify internally as the opposite sex and for them dressing is a means of bringing their external appearance in line with their internal identity. :2c:

[Bonnie D]

mtf = male to female
ftm = female to male
GM = genetic male

I think that when it is mentioned that the majority of crossdressers are heterosexual it is to ease the minds of the SOs. When someone comes out to their SO that they crossdress the first question that follows is, "Are you gay?" If the answer is No, then the focus is now on the dressing and whether or not it can be dealt with. If the answer is Yes, then the issue is completely different.

Generally speaking, when someone has been identified as gay or lesbian, it clarifies how people should be around them. Women can relax around a gay man and be on guard around a lesbian and I don't mean it in a negative way just in a natural one. It's visa versa for men.

I am a gay crossdresser and never take offence to the clarification unless it is meant to offend.

Bonnie

[BarbaraTalbot]

TF

for true friend. Def: A friend who accepts people for who they are and who cares enough to search for more information when they realize they don't know something about how to express their acceptance.

[Ashley Lynn Swift]

MARCI SEXTON is probably right you need to let him/her come out to you.

i mean i don't know what i would do if any of my friends or family came to me and just push their way into taylor's world, i'd probably freak out and have a nervouse break down or something. they'ed probably disown my prissy little butt for being "A SISSY LA LA"
why i'm an open book to my family and friends, i don't think that they could every understand "taylor's world". which is why with my fam and friends taylor stays in the closet, at least to the best of my ablilty,

[Kimmie]

I've seen this opinion stated numerous times. Heck, I've said it myself -- about myself -- for many years. But it seems to me that homophobia is really out of place on this forum. I don't see how I can just sit back and let someone say "crossdressers are usually not gay" as if that's a GOOD thing.

Simple logic: If you're implying that it's GOOD that the crossdresser is not gay, then you must be saying that being gay would be BAD. I don't see any other way to understand this point of view. And I reject it.

I also wonder about the phrase "completely heterosexual" in your response. I guess I don't know what it means. If it means "sexually aroused by a nude partner of the other anatomical sex, and by nothing else," then I think the responses to a recent thread on this forum would provide some statistical evidence that you're wrong. The impression I got was that more than 50% of crossdressers are sexually aroused by dressing. So, uh, that means they're not "completely heterosexual," doesn't it?


I think it's both hilarious and tragic that gay men feel the need to say, "But we're not crossdressers!" while the crossdressers are busy saying, "But we're not gay!" Can we all just get along?

***Jenna***


Jenna I find both your points interesting. I think that most CD's feel the need to constantly reaffirm their hetrosexuality with a bit of natural aggression, and this might come accross as being homophobic. I dont believe its intentional, just a guy thing.

Re point two: the few gay guys that I know are not flamboyant, but I have known a few that are "too gay" including drag queens. I think that there is a sense of distain from regualr gays towards those that perpetuate stereotypes. Hence a natural crossover distain for straight CD's.

[KandisTX]

I am a newcomer to this forum and my reason for being here is to try and understand the "inner person" of a lifelong friend who has been CD'ing for his entire adult life (30 plus years). It is not a lifestyle I engage in, but again, I'm not judgmental here. As previously posted on here, he is unaware the his 3 close friends has accidentally discovered his "secret". We promised ourselves to be supportive and try to better understand his need to CD and socialize with others who also share it.
Thanks.

Felixi,

I must ask if the opportunity has arisen to inform your friend of this information? I know for me personally if I had left this site up and when I got back to my desk it had been closed I would want to know who did it, and what "ideas" they had formulated.

Thanks,

Kandis:love:

[Julie York]

I think as a crossdresser one of the first mistakes a lot of people make is assuming right off that the person who CD's is gay. In most cases, this isn't true.

(In modern open minded world this doesn't make much difference to anyone but it is a misconception that causes confusion.)

Usually the man who CD's is straight. He likes to WEAR women's clothing, but is completely heterosexual. (Statistically speaking.)

:D:thumbsup:


I'd also like to congratulate you for being a very intelligent and caring friend. Good for you.

[KatieZ]

Simple logic: If you're implying that it's GOOD that the crossdresser is not gay, then you must be saying that being gay would be BAD. I don't see any other way to understand this point of view. And I reject it.


***Jenna***

I think in most cases here that a GG who is romantically interested in a CD would consider it good. As she would consider any male she may be romantically interested in as, good he's not gay.

I understand that is not the case in this particular thread but overall on this forum that is mainly the case.