Coming out to Dad - will know more tomorrow

[Cai]

I didn't do it yet.

He'll know by tomorrow.

I tried to tell him tonight, a couple of times, but I just couldn't do it. So I wrote him a long, heart-felt letter explaining everything probably better than I could have out loud, and put it in an envelope with some printouts about transgenderism and some FTM-specific stuff. I'm going to tape it to the wall outside his bedroom once he's asleep. He'll be up before me, so he'll read it while I'm still sleeping, and hopefully get a chance to digest everything.

I'm scared. Worse than when I told R. I took 2 Benadryl, because otherwise I won't sleep tonight. I have to wait for him to fall asleep so I can put it up though.

I feel like I'm taking the easy way out, with a letter. Like I should have just had the balls to tell him to his face if I want him to know. But on the other hand, this is worse, because I have to wait to see his reaction.

[Kieron Andrew]

Cai, I learnt something very early on in this transitioning thingy....no way is the right or wrong way, its just your way.......I told my mother through email and she already knew!, doh!

Good luck for the morning :), please try to get some sleep

[ZenFrost]

I'll keep my fingers crossed that your dad takes it well.

I don't think leaving a letter is any sort of a cop out, it's just one of many ways to come out. Like Kieron said, there is no wrong way. :hugs:

[bi_weird]

*hugs* Best of luck; hope it goes well. Sounds like a fine plan to me for what's gotta be a hard situation. Do tell us when you know more.
Meanwhile, while you wait, have a brownie with rainbow sprinkles!

[Sallee]

Good luck Cai. I hope all goes well. I bet it is tougher on you than it will be on him. Atleast that has been my experience.but we are all different. You will for sure feel better Good Luck....Sallee

[Shelly Preston]

Cai you have to choose the method you feel most comfortalbe with

In your case a letter is perfect and you will be around to answer the questions which will inevitable follow

I hope it all goes very smoothly :hugs:

[John]

as said, you gota do it how you need (first friend I came out to was on msn while drunk).

fingers crossed, hope it goes well!

[Cai]

I knew I loved my Dad. :happy:

He came down this morning, hugged me, and told me he would always love me no matter what. We sat and talked for a bit, and I answered some of his questions. Then he asked what my "game plan for moving forward" was (typical Dad, has to have a plan). We're going to try and set up some sessions with a gender therapist here in NC, and see if they can recommend anyone that I can see at school. He said he doesn't want anyone that's going to try and fix me - since this is something I've always been, if they change it they'll change me - but he does want me to have someone to talk to.

[Kieron Andrew]

I knew I loved my Dad. :happy:

He came down this morning, hugged me, and told me he would always love me no matter what. We sat and talked for a bit, and I answered some of his questions. Then he asked what my "game plan for moving forward" was (typical Dad, has to have a plan). We're going to try and set up some sessions with a gender therapist here in NC, and see if they can recommend anyone that I can see at school. He said he doesn't want anyone that's going to try and fix me - since this is something I've always been, if they change it they'll change me - but he does want me to have someone to talk to.
YAY! i think i love Cai's dad too! he sounds soooooo cool!, you know we could do with some cool parents here, he doesnt fancy hanging out with us does he :heehee:, or would that be too weird for you lol actually no not a good idea, he'll realise you went to NYC that time lol....YAY for Dad!......

[CaptLex]

That's soo cool - what a great guy your dad is, Cai! I'm glad he took it well and I like his response - you don't need to be fixed. Smart man. Sounds like you have an ally in your corner, which is always welcome. Good for you. And I concur that there is no right or wrong way to come out - you do what works for you, and in this case it sure worked. Rum all around! :drink:

[Charleen]

Way Cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Dasein9]

I knew I loved my Dad. :happy:


I think I love your dad too right now. Good for him!

And no, a letter isn't a cop-out. It gives your dad a chance to take his time reading and absorbing the information, and doesn't give him a chance to fight with you before you get to say everything you want. It's also something your dad can save and refer to if he gets confused.

[ZenFrost]

That's great Cai! You have an awesome dad. It's cool that he doesn't want to change you.

[Felix]

I'm real happy for ya Cai :thumbsup: xx Felix :hugs:

[Dasein9]

One thing, Cai. I don't want to be a party-pooper, and I hope this is not the case for you and your dad. But there are guys I've known whose parents seemed fine with the coming-out news at first, but then developed doubts and problems with it, as they thought about it more, or were influenced by other family members' opinions.

Again, I sincerely hope this is a non-issue for you, but would like you to be mentally and emotionally prepared if there are problems further down the line.

[Cai]

Yeah, Das, I could see that happening to people. I'll keep it in mind if anything seems to change.

[Sallee]

Glad it is working out I thought it would grreat:love:

[Tristan]

Yay that's so great Cai!

[crazy4cheezeits]

Wow!! Lucky you to have a dad like that!!! And congrats on telling him!

[bi_weird]

Duuuude congrats on your dad being awesome! That's so great that he was really cool about everything and doesn't want you changed or anything.