Almost had heart failure, thought SO had come home

[Davinnia]

I came out to my SO a month ago, but haven't progressed much since due to my having a health issue [ better now]. She gave me lots of TLC after my having surgury.
Today, she visited a friend for the day so, feeling better & missing CDing, I decided to dress for the morning. Just finished, nails just dry & purfume on when I heard a car pull up & doors slam. PANIC! I thought she'd returned so , heart pounding, raced into the bathroom pulling off wig,shoes etc. No sound, then realised it was the neighbours. Too jittery to continue ,I changed back to drab, day ruined.
Why did I panic? SO hasn't seen me dressed & I dressed like I did before coming out, secretly. Am I better off for coming out? I don't feel so, unless SO knows I'll be dressing if she's out. I feel I've lost the initiative to bring up the subject again, but will she? She did promise me I could have her old black skirt she no longer wears, should I ask for it? I don't feel like dressing without her knowledge anymore, it feels dishonest.

[Holly]

...I don't feel like dressing without her knowledge anymore, it feels dishonest.Then talk to her! If she's willing to give you her old skirt, there's some level of acceptance there. Do you honestly think that if she gives it to you that she thiunks that you are NOT going to wear it? Sit down and talk. Set up the guidelines that you both can be comfortable with. If she's already offered you clothing, she may be willing to do more... but let it be her choice.

[Mitzi]

I had a similar experience the other day. My wife was out for most of the day, I was dressed with full makeup.

The doorbell rings, I run to the window, peek out...OMG it's my daughter's car in the driveway, and she has keys to the house... I panic and start taking stuff off, but I realize there's no way I can change that quickly. As far as I know she knows nothing about my CDing. So, I decided to "face the music", put my wig and stuff back on, greet her as Mitzi...

The doorbell rings again, so I peek out the window again. A woman I couldn't identify was walking back to the car...phew...

Mitzi

[nancy58]

Talk to your wife about your feelings and about your need to crossdress. Plan ahead. If she's going out and you think you'd like to take advantage of the time alone, let her know. If you have a kid, like I do, or if you're too self-conscious, ask her to phone you if she's coming home early. In the case of kids, a good technique she can use when calling is to say, "I'm on the way home. Is there anything you need while I am out?" This can be the warning you need to put your things away.

Personally, I don't recommend doing your nails if you only have a couple of hours -- especially if there are other people who may be coming into the house. Nail polish smells quite a bit, and for quite a while.

[Vickie64]

what ever you decide to do....just remember honest and open communication here is the key.

[Mitch23]

I've been out to my wife for a few weeks now. She's not very accepting and would rather I didn't. I still feel a little raw when I have to bring up CD subjects like - support group meeting tomorrow and is it ok to go out with the girls tomorrow - she doesn't react positively but at least I feel honest by telling her. She's still not seen me dressed but has stumbled across piccies on the computer - still feel nervous about that. I guess it takes time both for us and our partners to deal with all the years of negativity that society has placed on us

Mitch

[immike]

I had a similar experience the other day. My wife was out for most of the day, I was dressed with full makeup.

The doorbell rings, I run to the window, peek out...OMG it's my daughter's car in the driveway, and she has keys to the house... I panic and start taking stuff off, but I realize there's no way I can change that quickly. As far as I know she knows nothing about my CDing. So, I decided to "face the music", put my wig and stuff back on, greet her as Mitzi...

The doorbell rings again, so I peek out the window again. A woman I couldn't identify was walking back to the car...phew...

Mitzi
I usually wait for mother to leave in the morning,before I go in her closet&
dress in her wardrobe.She does not come home for lunch,so I usually have
several hours of wearing her many outfits&using a pair of her fresh unopened
pkg of pantyhose(which I replace quickly),out of her pantyhose drawer.My
favorite is wearing one of her short mini skirts&one of her bras,a silk blouse
and a pair of her 4 inch black heels,or I'll pull out one of her good short
skirtsuits,or pantsuits

[Davinnia]

Quick update. As I'm still off work, my SO asked me what I might do today. I answered that I might slip into my slinky dress for a while. "As long as you don't scare the cat" was her reply. Simple as that. I might tell her I tried on the skirt when she comes home. First time in my life I feel relaxed & not listening out for the door while dressed. Whew ! One step at a time.

[Alice B]

I think you SO is more accepting than you think, so I would not panic if she comes home early. Simple greet her, be relaxed and see how it goes. If she comes home early it may be because she wants to see you dressed.:hugs:

[Karren H]

Well you all know my stand on honesty... (Psttt... There's Karren the lier again). It's the best policy and all but its definately not the one size fits all, blanket soluting to all our problems, especially given our unique hobby...

Karren

[Lori SC]

Quick update. As I'm still off work, my SO asked me what I might do today. I answered that I might slip into my slinky dress for a while. "As long as you don't scare the cat" was her reply. Simple as that. I might tell her I tried on the skirt when she comes home. First time in my life I feel relaxed & not listening out for the door while dressed. Whew ! One step at a time.


Sounds like your wife is very accepting of your dressing Davinnia. Now, you better start some more talking. You better ask her how she feels about seeing you dressed. (Maybe she really wants to, you never know). But then again maybe not, and the only way you will really know is by asking her. You don't want to surprise her if she isn't ready.

Obviously, if she isn't ready to see you yet, you need to work out some arrangement such as other girls have suggested.

Also, it's a good idea to ask how long she expects to be gone, so you can plan and dress to a degree worth the effort.

Hugs, Lori

[Davinnia]

I had a great time dressed today,just a couple of hours,but felt & feel really good about myself[for once]. Took a few photos,they look quite good, I'm amazed to say. May offer to show them to my wife. The cat wasn't happy,though, couldn't work out who this girl was. At least I must have passed to the cat!

[teresa jeen]

i live about 35 ft from my mom, dads gone now, on occasion i go out back and cruise the "hood" afoot". had just eased into the shadows when sheriffs pulled up and spottlighted me, almost, i made it to the house and udressed very damn fast, thank god for bad lighting. we surveyed the property and found nothing!!! were it not for bad lighting they wouldve seen my polish and stockings.:tongueout