Daughter Having a Hard time......

[janelle]

Morning girls,
With my transition. She has talked with my wife but not me. Yesterday(Saturday) I said to her we need to talk about this. She is the one that I have stated has my 3 yr old granddaughter & does not want her confused.
I need advice as how to explain, this is me, without hurting her feelings & help find a way to explain it to my 3 yr old sunshine. Yes i plan on being honest, & telling her how much i still love & care for them but we all know how hard this is for people to accept. The last time her & i talked it was cool just don't upset the granddaughter, is what she said. Now as changes are alittle in view i believe she is confused as how to handle ?'s she may get from who ever, her in laws, or friends of hers that live very near by. I don't want her to be embarassed but i need to be myself.
So who has good words of wisdom?
Anybody else had this problem??
Can you GG that have kids give your input????

My goal is to let her/them know that no matter what the outside looks like, everything inside me is the SAME FOR THEM. Does that make sense? Is that the right way to go? Please help!!!!!!
Thank you.
Mega :hugs:to all,
Janelle

[JenniferR771]

I was at support group meetings when sometimes a couple of 5 and 6 year old grandkids came in for a few minutes. No problem--they were cool with it. We got them some ice cream. The father was a cd. You could always tell the real women (wives)--they were wearing slacks or jeans and sneakers.

The 18 and 22 year old adult kids were cool also. The 22 year old daughter used my camera to take my pic in the back yard.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I think most kids ARE cool with it, until or unless they get and buy into erronious and negative mis-information about homosexuality, which CD has NOTHING to do with.

[GlitterGG]

When KandisTX and I got married, it was agreed between the two of us, as well as my daughter's father, that we would keep it hidden from my daughter until such a time as she discovered it for herself. But by the same token, I/we raised her to always be open minded and accepting about most everything. I don't know how many times that child watched "Torch Song Trilogy", "The Birdcage", "Mrs. Doubtfire", and "To Wong Foo", just to name a few. We have several friends who lead alternative lifestyles, and we have never kept her away from our friends unless, of course, it was an 'adult only' themed situation.

When she did discover it on her own, she was very accepting of KandisTX's cding, and I must say, for a 9 yr. old (that's how old she was at the time) she showed a maturity beyond her years.

Kids are resiliant and accepting if that's how they've been raised.
Just my:2c:

[janelle]

I agree & that is what i think my daughter is fighting with. I know that was also the first thing out of my pastor's mouth, "Are you gay?". Since then he & the elders have band me from coming to church unless i come as my male self. Talk about people being blind,whatever.
I thank you for your comments & it is kind of funny that my granddaughter has seen me in slacks or shorts with all the other female attire & she does not get worked up abit.
I believe adults should take lessons from all the little ones. Have a great day girls.
Janelle

[Jenna Lynne]

I think most kids ARE cool with it, until or unless they get and buy into erronious and negative mis-information about homosexuality, which CD has NOTHING to do with.
<sigh...> Last night I was talking to one of my Lesbian friends about this -- about the crossdressers thinking it will stigmatize them further if people think they're gay, while meanwhile the gay men think it will stigmatize them further if people think they're crossdressers. It's absurd.

There is nothing whatever wrong with being gay. There is nothing wrong with being a crossdresser. There is nothing wrong with being a gay crossdresser.

However, there is something very wrong with being homophobic. And if you're being homophobic while in the same breath you're asking for acceptance, that's just plain crazy.

I understand that most crossdressers are not gay. But that's not a badge of honor, it's just one of the infinite combinations of possible character groupings in the area of human sexuality. If you feel even a twinge of a need to explain to someone that even though you're a crossdresser you're not gay, please, please, take a deep breath and ask yourself:

Why does that matter to you? What are you so afraid of???

***Jenna***

[Julogden]

I doubt that it would upset your 3-year old granddaughter, sounds like it's her mother who is upset and maybe doesn't want her daughter to accept your transition. Hopefully she won't do anything to influence your granddaughter's opinion of you.

Good luck dear, I hope your daughter comes around and accepts your decision.

Carol