Has any one been with a guy?

[Kiera20mi]

I have but not enfemm, not yet atleast.
My g/f and I were at a party and were very very drunk :drink: and we ended up having a threesome and it wasn't like i could just be like hey hold on let me go dress in drab! haha oh well you cant win them all!

[SatinDoll00]

...I used to have a friend that made love to me often enfemme, but that was MANY years ago :)

I still think of those days often. I still know him, but neither of us speak of it now. I think he is really embarrassed by it. Personally, I wouldn't want my wife to find out...but beyond that I don't care who knows.

Morgan

[tanya3]

i have once . it was a brief encounter and a very lond time ago and long before i met my wife . i did tell her about it and it didn't bother her . i was not enfem but it sounds like fun and not out of the question .

[traceyanne]

yes ive been with a few guys dressed and in drab, im not attracted to guys, women do it for me. just experimenting on the sex side of things and i must say i have enjoyed it

[brittanny]

I have been with some guys its fun

[Lilly 40C]

It strated for me in a theesome too. I was dressed as a guy that time. I've had a few threesomes since and enjoyed the guy as much as the women.

Lately, I prefer to dress enfem and be with a guy one on one and am very submissive to him.

Lilly

[MsJanessa]

I"m the same and the exact opposite---I like to dress, be with a guy and absolutly dominate him---funny they seem to like to be submissive to Me:dom:

[LindaTS]

I used to go out with a guy, and yes, we had sex. It just didn't turn me on like I thought it would and now only enjoy other trannies and females.

[Tiffy]

I LOVE women, but desire men if I am dressed. I do not care for them, just something they have that I want so to speak.

Tiffy

[Brianna Lovely]

desire men if I am dressed.
just something they have that I want so to speak.
Tiffy

Well said.

I feel very attracted to men, when I'm dressed, and yes, they have something I want, giggle.

[Slip Affinity]

I have a couple of times many years ago, but lately I find myself fantasizing about it a lot.

[TV Wannabe]

I have not been with a man but I would be willing to try it.

[AmandaM]

I've done it once. Fantasize about it. I'm married, so I don't go looking for men. But, I absolutely prefer women, especially if they're dominant.

[bobbielynn]

i been with a few guys en femme. i enjoy it but only en femme. in drab it's all woman.

[KellyCD]

Yes I have. My best friend back in the states and I have done things for the past few years. Yes my wife knows about it, and she allows it. My wife and I are swingers so that should explain alot.

Did I like being with a guy?

Oh Yess it was awesome!

[kathy333]

i've sead this before. like most i wondered weather or not i was gay. then i found this site i wanted to know, so i met someone on this site,and it wasn't for me i like to dress and i still only want a real woman!!

[Phyliss]

I'll try most anything "once" sometimes twice, just to be sure I did it right the first time. :o :o :heehee:

[Jennifer_Ph]

No... no... hell no. Uck phewy!

[karynspanties]

Yes, quite a few times. I enjoy pleasing a man.

[nooblet]

never tried it, but i find myself more and more willing to experiment. only if i was dressed though.

[Kristen Marie]

I was fully dressed at a private party once of about 6 TGirls and a few GG's. Then a guy showed up and began getting involved with a few of the TGirls. I realized then that the fantasy was better than the reality for me. I stayed away and came to the conclusion that I like GG's better.

[teresa jeen]

i have a few times,always enfem, that way he has to treat me like a lady. if not its no go. i love to be submissive and feminine if you know what i mean. when in drab their usually pigs!!!

[Sugar]

and lack of decorum.

The word "S**** *N" will not be tolerated on this message board.

:tongueout

[SandyR]

I used to think I was, but its not for me. I love to be a Girl, but also am only attracted to them as well.

SandyR

[teresa jeen]

sugar what are you talking about, did i miss something?

[Sugar]

Oh tj, I was just being a smarty pants.

Posts come and go just as everything else.

peace

sugar



sugar what are you talking about, did i miss something?

[Claudia Zylindrias]

I have been with men but not in femm yet, several threesome with my SO and other girls dressed but no guy dressed

[teresa jeen]

i guess im just a little jumpy right now, im just getting to understand that for me to be happy i need to be me!?! i dont mean to be harsh, with anyone. but back to the subject; i love it when a man gives me the attention that i feel a woman deserves. there is so much s***** a woman puts up with that it is a depressing thing at times. i feel for my sisters!! i dress for the feeling of being a woman, therefore i have feelings for my man.

[flatlander_48]

I have but not en fem, not yet at least.
My g/f and I were at a party and were very very drunk and we ended up having a threesome and it wasn't like i could just be like hey hold on let me go dress in drab! haha oh well you cant win them all!

Ditto...

[Eva Marie]

The straight answer from me is "yes". But, there are men and there are gentlemen.

[crusadergirl]

No guys for me i just want women.

[Krista_CD]

All of the encounters I have had with boys have been enfemme. It didn't ever go past a kiss and cuddling and all that stuff. I am interested in boys as well as girls. well...it's more of a 51%, 49% thing.
51% boys
49% girls

[Roxi Loh]

I wonder why...

I"m the same and the exact opposite---I like to dress, be with a guy and absolutly dominate him---funny they seem to like to be submissive to Me:dom:

[Misty_cder]

I was envolved with a guy for a summer many years ago. I went through the stage of "am I gay", but realized I like women more. My wife knows about my adventure and we've even talked about having a three way while I'm dressed.

[Kiera20mi]

I have also been with a couple of guys here and there by myself as well, and it is reallly fun, and the 3some i was talking about was our second... (technically third but that second one dosn't count details mail me.) and besides he was hott! haha. Yea i guess i am kind of a *****... oh well atleast i am not a cheater!

[shericd7]

Yes, quite a few times. I enjoy pleasing a man.

and it works for me also,enjoy pleasing a man.

[NewBetty]

I"m the same and the exact opposite---I like to dress, be with a guy and absolutly dominate him---funny they seem to like to be submissive to Me:dom:
That's funny, wonder what it is about ya that makes guys submissive...

[cutiepiedanielle]

yeah i want to, im curious about it

[Darla in Pa.]

A fantasy dream yes, reality maybe, chances are slim to none though. If a situation came up and it felt comfortable I would play for sure.
Darla

[Katie_uktv]

There is nothing I like more than to be with a big strong man who likes to dominate me.

[Marla]

I love being with men when Im dressed . I feel like I can please a man and have many times.

[MsJanessa]

That's funny, wonder what it is about ya that makes guys submissive...

I don't know---they just kind of fall at My feet--lol

[l8nitejenn]

I have been with a couple guys...one enfemme and one not. It was a Dom/sub thing and I thoroughly enjoyed both though when I was enfemme was better.:heehee:

[MsJanessa]

I have been with a couple guys...one enfemme and one not. It was a Dom/sub thing and I thoroughly enjoyed both though when I was enfemme was better.:heehee:

were you the Domme or the sub?

[jsarah]

I have had some experiences with Men, none while dressed, though to be honest I want to very badly. Most of my relationships are with Women, but there is something about being with a man that seems to obsess me lately.

I'm starting to think my perfect mate is another CD. but the jury is still out. I think I need to explore that side of me fully before I could make the right choice on that. I'm technically still a "virgin" when it comes to that so it's kinda scary/exciting/strange right now as I lean more and more towards it.

We'll see :)

[PatriciaCD]

Pleasing a man while dressed is very rewarding for me. It's as if I have attained my full femininity; to be accepted as a woman by a man.

[Dixie]

I have been with men a few times, my wife loves it, I have always been in drab except for my panties. The last time was last week, I still haven't done it enfemme and would very much like to!

[Ashly]

......I'm starting to think my perfect mate is another CD.........

It is my believe today that this is the only right choice for me

[Angie G]

No and it ain't happining hun :hugs:
Angie

[AmberDay]

I am a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Others laugh when I say that, little do they know I am serious. :straightface:


Amber

[suzi_cd]

Several times now - always when dressed (or partially dressed).

It feels so good

[Hali]

Only those men who chat me up in the night (cos i look 100% passable in the night thats wat i was told) thinking that am a GG or "something", some of them try to kiss me forcefully not knowing or may be they know, there are times wen i had to run, sometimes its so hard to stroll at night cos of the danger cos you can really feel it in the air wen you go out en femme in the night even on a busy street, there was a time a teenage boy just came as if we are crossing each other, he just grab ma fake BREAST and run away, OHH MEN! are men that desperate for the female body, even a young man can be that ferocious, yeah girls! girls! you have to hear this one; ma BEST-FRIEND saw me one time strolling in the neighborhood and to my suprise he was on to me, guess wat i had to quickly move into the compound of one house near-by to avoid the encounter cos i might have been outed or may be not, it was later that i thot to maself that i should hav stayed and see how he is as a "toaster" that is, see it from the female side (giggles) the risk was too hi.

[Rexy Lee]

Mmmmm, yes and talk about feeling totally fem!
I love it and spend time with a guy every chance I get.
Rexy

[Mayliis]

:happy: I have been with man twice. To be honest some time i like more thought about it and i was a bit ready for this... and the man with who i was together, like wanted me... So we had good time together, i enjoyed to be together and i was really happy being female side...

After that we had once good time..., Now he is gay and he have good partner, and i like more dress female clothes... Today i'm looking man to be together and have sometimes good time :)

Kisses to all of you,
Mayliis

[JoanFlores]

No men, but GG and crossdressers are ok with me.

[Linda C]

No - No - a thousand times NO!!! :eek:

[Jennilouise]

when i am dressed en fem i like to be dominated, it is my partner, as we are still working out what we both like and enjoy it is a big learning curve but very enjoyable for both of us. but as for going with another man it is a big NO NO for me i prefer to be with a gg, and i love to one i am with now.

[Colleentg]

I have been with a few, but not for the 'home run'. I was mis fortuned, because each one of them was impotent! I was even living with an older man for almost two months, as his 'wife'! I loved being treated as a woman, not only by him, but also by strangers when we went out to straight places. But I felt I was also being held away what I desire more - a very feminine environment. I had been with a few other t-girls as well and I realized how much I missed that, the femininity we shared. I'm still looking for 'her'.

[Georgina Milnes]

Yes ,yes ,yes,and it was so wonderful,still is now. I have now gone past the point of no return,my male friend has me feeling so feminine,its delicious when we make wonderful love together. I find myself missing our lovemaking after 2 weeks or so,and cant wait for his next visit when i am fully dressed for him. I love the special kisses we have and feeling his manly body before making wonderful love. There is no better feeling in my opinion now.

[rita]

Mmmmm, yes and talk about feeling totally fem!
I love it and spend time with a guy every chance I get.
Rexy

I would agree with you

[samantha78]

never been out with a guy but plan to go out with one on Friday! Wish me luck girls!!!!!

[Lorri]

No, not yet. ;) And if I ever do, it could only be whilst I'm en femme.

[Deborah]

only if i was a GG. ;)

Playing the part right now. Maybe i'll get lucky next time.

[geo 1]

Never tried it but willing to experiment

[Melora]

I neverr have been with a guy, dont want to, as I am married, but often fantasize about cuddling and things with another TG. :) I just love the feminine form.

[BarbaraTalbot]

Putting on a skirt doesn't suddenly make the male physique look sexy too me. Seeing a very pretty CD pleases my eye just as much as a pretty GG could, but not to the point I'm likely to forget the optional equipment under the hood.

The converse seems true too. I can objectively see a female to male crossdresser, appreciate that he looks handsome, but it doesn't ring any bells for me. Even knowing that there is the "right" (for me) equipment under the hood doesn't change that for me.

[Christa]

I'm 16 years into a relationship with my guy. So I guess I could say "yes".

I've never been with a woman, though.

(How's that for a different kind of answer in this thread?)

[l8nitejenn]

were you the Domme or the sub?

sub....definately sub. i tried being dom a couple times, but just isn't my thing. i prefer to serve.

[Annesah]

Who, when, where, why? Kiss and tell? Never!!

[Kate Simmons]

Who, when, where, why? Kiss and tell? Never!!My sentiments exactly Hon.:happy:

[Toyah]

Oh come on dont be stupid and read previous posts

[OC-crossdresser]

no i have not...BUT i would LOVE to...any CD in socal who want to meet :heehee: :p

[BonnieBimbo]

This is a very interesting thread. I have been wondering if this was something people would discuss on Crossderessers.com, but then again, I’m quite new.

Anyway I consider myself to be 100 % heterosexual. On the other hand I have some rather submissive tendencies and I really love to dress ****ty. If I wanted to act in complete accordance with my name, I really ought to consider trying to please some guys. However I don’t know if I love my femme character enough for me to actually survive sexual activities with a guy on the emotional level… -I find the though of it very exciting, but I know that there’s also a chance that I would be better off just keeping it a fantasy…

Hugs to every of you who shared your thoughts!

BB

[Roxi Loh]

Having said that...I have really fantasized about being with a CD and making mad passionate love. I wont go into details here...but if interested send me a message.

[veryhappyto0]

Like several here, my first time was as part of a threesum. I have had several encounters in the same way but really hope to have more of a "date" one of these days.

[Xandra]

No, not me - at least not yet. Since my CDing has evolved so has the concept of who and what I am attracted to; previously, I have only considered being with a woman or another cross dresser but could now conceivably see myself with a man who is CD-friendly, someone who understands that feminine side.

Basically, I am attracted to the feminine image but prefer male genitalia. I struggled with this knowledge for a while but now accept it as part of who I am. All this said, I would be open to the prospect should the opportunity - and the right circumstance - present itself.

This is something I find both scary and exciting. :happy:

[Rogina B]

I have been with several admirers and fully enjoy it.However,i feel there is a great difference in the behavior of an admirer of cd's or t girls and just a plain horny guy.Also,not everyone clicks together as a fun in bed partner for me,so not every well intentioned admirer makes for good sexual fun. This has been my experience,anyway. Hugs,ROGINA

[lalaine_ty69]

with my experience evolving from cd alone and watching myself in the mirror to eventually going out to flaunt it eventually lead to doing it with a tg although i was the submissive one. eventually having intercourse made me feel more like a woman. so for me fantasizing about it gave me the drive to make love with a guy. although i still love gg and still continue doing it as a man. only when i crossdress do i have the urge to find a male or tg lover.

[jillipop]

yes I have been with several men over the years.For me it completes the transformation

[gretafemme]

I have not fantasized nor desired sexual contact with a man. I am attracted to the shape, feel, taste and aura of females only. This girl votes for GG's!:2c:

[btmgrl6]

Strictly men for me

[jasmim101]

a girlfreind of mine invited this guy round for a threesome,1 thing lead 2 another and it was a nice feeling.:D

[Deborah Jane]

GGs only! Men don,t appeal to me!

[JoAnnecd]

I've been with a few guys. I am very selective and always want to be treated with respect. I will only do so when I'm dressed en femme. I love to feel like a woman and men have made me feel very desirable. I also thoroughly enjoy the company of GG when dressed drab.:2c:

[Nicole42]

I like GG's. Would love to enjoy a tgirl. The more I dress and the more fem I become, the more i wonder what it would be like with a guy.

[Veronica E. Scott]

No... no... hell no. Uck phewy

I like what Jennifer said and no I only like wemon all shapes and sizes,that is what does it for me.

[Mistybtm]

yes I have been with several men over the years. For me it completes the transformation and i am actively looking again i miss it.

:D :D :D

[Mary447]

Oh yes.......
I've been with many men........I've never done it en femme.....but I soooooooooo want to....ASAP
Mary:GE:

[RuthieER]

Basically, I am attracted to the feminine image but prefer male genitalia.

I know exactly how that is; I feel that way, too. Being bisexual I find some men very attractive, and some women very attractive, my ideal lover would be a another Bi CD, but one who is primarily dominant.

Ruthie

[maid2behave]

Never been with or wanted to be with men sexually, just the way I am.
Now a bossy woman telling me what to do.......Yumm

[newtothelife]

Tried it once with a friend in my youth . it was ok till he tried to kiss me. That kinda killed it for me . Now my Wife is all the man I need , With the right toys if you know what I mean.....LOL. We still use it as a fantasy senario from time to time . :o

[Kahlan51]

I tried it a few times and I found it was enjoyable. I would consider it again with the right T girl . Looking at a man just doesn't do a thing for me and women light up my life. The fantasy of being with another cd turns me on and I'm not sure of how the reality would be like. It hasn't matched up that well in the past. Kahlan

[rebeca_abigail30]

Like CDinDayton, I too am a les in a man's body. I have thought about doing the SRS procedure but, I know I would not see my boys for a very long time, and my career would be over (military). I've told myself if anything happened to all of them before me (wishing it DOES NOT happen), then I probably would.

[Michelle04240]

A few times. Both dressed and not. Had fun.

[Merinda]

I can get turned on by pictures and fantasize over some t-girls , however from experience attending T-social group meetings I am sexually turned off in reallity situations so I dont know what catagory that actually puts me in.

I have no interest in men en-drab.

[the femm side of me]

Yes I have been with a guy. It was 26 years ago. At the time I didn’t know I was into dressing I thought dressing was only a strange private thing. I didn’t know others liked it. He and I experimented/explored each other. We tried oral (just a little). That was about it. I told my wife about it she didn’t care too much. As a matter of fact I told her she could grill me about it if she wanted to. She declined and said that was the past and a part of growing up. I asked her if she “experimented too” she said no. and that was it.

Would I try it now??? Maybe under the right circumstances and if my wife was a part of the action. I suspect that will NEVER EVER happen.

[iiiman5]

I have never been with a guy. i some times think about it. my wife enjoys using her toys on me. she enjoys dominating me and likes to be the top and I am the very willing bottom.

[jasmim101]

ive read alot of opinions hear, i am not 1 to judge, i dont class my self as gay, but happy to be who i am..:straightface:

[susan lewis]

I have been with a couple of men and they were sweet and loving, I think having a man desire me and be inimate with me makes my femine ego go thru the roof, to me it feels natural, a man and a woman enjoying each other

[cdjoanne]

never tried it but have always wanted to, the thought of it i find a real turn on, being treated like a lady and then have a man put his hand up my skirt, ooh what a turn on:love:

[Nastasha]

once. Went to a local "BookStore" and into the video rooms in back.

We watched a little flick and pleasured ourselves while watching.

He saw my panties and said "no s#$t" and smiled

It was fun and I've wanted to go back and do it again more than once.

[michellebesweet]

Not yet. Who knows what the future holds for any of us.

[Nikki T]

I have lately in the past year fantasized about it ALOT, i have never been with a man, only GG's, but would like to try it in the future, possibly another TG or CD.

[JuliaCD]

I have been with men, both dressed and not. I very much enjoy pleasing a man and have always had a great time with them. When I'm dressed, I immerse myself completely in the female role and feel the most feminine and complete as a woman as possible.

When I was younger, I had several wonderful relationships with women, and thought marrying a girl and settling down was where I was headed. Now that I have discovered how much of me is feminine, and that I've been intimate with boys, I know that I was wrong back then. I'm single, bisexual and transgendered and very glad to have learned this about myself before I made a big mistake!

I'm still attracted to women, and would never turn down a chance to be intimate with them, but am currently looking for a regular boyfriend as my feminine side has become such a large part of my being.

~Julia

[Sapphire]

I am a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Others laugh when I say that, little do they know I am serious. :straightface:


Amber

I am sure you are (serious that is) - I suspect a lot of us fall into that category. The UK comedian and actor Eddie Izzard has also described himself as a male lesbian and it is a category in which I also place myself. You are not alone - far from it I suspect. The problem is that lesbians are by definition women and probably only rarely find themselves attracted to crossdressing men - would that things were different - but such is life.

[shauna 9]

No!!! But thought about it.

[nikkicdintraining]

yesss, i am bi so i have been with males and females dressed.. i love both.. i love nothing more than pleasing a man.. i have a male friend of mine that loves me in my pvc garb..

[Tina P Hose]

A very good question. When I am talking with is a close talker that shoots out saliva when he talks urks my stomach. BUT if I were to be with another CD and she did not urk out saliva, I would consdier a sexual encounter. At times I have fantasized about sex with another CD. Perhaps I should try it. But fantasy is fantasy and reality is reality. And the reality and fantasy thing still leaves me perplexed. IF I were to go out dressed with some CD's I am sure that my sexual thoughts would be there...maybe I should just stop dressing and puruse a hetro relationship.

[melissa1316]

I have never been with a guy before, but would love to try only enfemme just as an experiment. I would like to see how it feels being the female. :happy:

[sweetsandy]

I'm bi, and have been with a man. It was lovely and still remember the whole night like the back of my hand.

[SatinDoll00]

still remember the whole night like the back of my hand.

Was that a pun?? :)

Morgan

[wannabie]

I have not been with a man but I would be willing to try it.


Same Here

[deana cd]

Yes, I have been with a few guys. I, like most of the others that have replied here, am only interested in men while I am dressed enfemme. And yes, most of my experiences have been very enjoyable.

[switcheralso]

I have thought of it but I don’t have courage.

[cdrobbie]

I have but not enfemm, not yet atleast.
My g/f and I were at a party and were very very drunk :drink: and we ended up having a threesome and it wasn't like i could just be like hey hold on let me go dress in drab! haha oh well you cant win them all!

Yes I have been with a man before. I am bisexual and my g/f knows she is also very curious. So we took a trip to the Poconos. We are members of another site. Anyway we made a trip with a bunch of other people from the site and we all had a ball sort of speak LOL.
I was not in dress though but we all knew about each other.

[Ema1234 GG]

being treated like a lady and then have a man put his hand up my skirt


If a man is really treating you like a lady then he's not going to suddenly put his hand up your skirt! Kinda defeats the point of him treating you like a lady!

[CarrieAnneEvers]

Never been intimate with a guy, but I do like the attention of men when I'm dressed en femme.

[stephanie12]

I have once. I find that when I'm enfemm I desire the company of a man, but when I'm not dressed up I desire a woman. It was an enjoyable experience and I would do it again if the chance presented itself.

[wannabie]

I've thought about it a lot of times. even fantisized about doing it with a guy while in femme. I don't know if its normal or not but when I'm in fem I'm attracted to guys and sometimes get a bit hot about it. in drab I don't even give it a thought.

[LilSissyStevie]

I am a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Others laugh when I say that, little do they know I am serious. :straightface:


Amber


I know exactly what you mean. When I was younger I went through the "I must be gay" stage since I had all these strange desires. The only problem was that I wasn't attracted to any men. I couldn't even imagine what a attractive man would look like. Still can't.

I've been lucky enough to find a woman that can enjoy and will accommodate my weirdness including my crossdressing and sexual submissiveness. I like to think of us as a ******* lesbian couple (she's the butch, I'm the femme). She would probably say we're just a little kinky. We still have "regular" sex often, if you can call it that.

I can't think of what a guy might have that she doesn't have in her toolkit plus she has all the other parts I like to play with. We're the best of both worlds.

[eliot]

Like several of you have said previously, never been with a man and would not consider it, but is thrilling to see a man look at me with interest when I am en femme.

[cpt2669]

When dress I do fantisize about it and also when I think about dressing I fantisize about it sometimes. But I do not think it will ever happen. I am to much of a chicken.

Christina

[justsearching]

okay so i have never been with a guy but i really would love to......i like really fem guys though like the ones that dont cd but wear makeup and paint their nails and stuff. and would love to be with one both dressed or not!

[Deidra Cowen]

I plead the fifth! :devil:

[surfdoc]

I had the opportunity once. A good friend of mine was gay and came on to me. Like most of us I thought I was gay cause I love to dress and stuff. But like so many of us I had absolutely no attraction to him or any other guy. I often joke if I was a woman I would be a Lesbo, but its the truth.

[paulaN]

I have been with a man. yes I was dressed. yes I very much enjoyed it.

[Billiex2]

Yes ,a while ago a good friend experimented. Now that c/d more regular, would indulge again. Also love women though

[matti]

Reading all of these replys helped me remember that back in college while pledging a faternity one of the final events before being accepted was a freshman pledge dance where one pledge dressed as the girl the other as her date. I chose the girl and my friend was my date. It was fun but towards the end of the dance after alot of drinking my friend turned and said I had alot of fun and you were a perfect date tonight to me. Looked at me and kissed me. I said thanks and kissed him and we kissed a little more. He brought me close and in a joking manner I put my hand and rubbed him in his special area. For an instant in time we were both caught up in a special moment and I do wish I could do it again.

[christyp24]

I have and really enjoyed it, though I am very selective. For some reason while dressed I am really into guys. I think it feels to me like the total transformation.

[MJ]

Still on the fence here ... but if the right guy came along "gill grissom" i might give it a try





I'm starting to think my perfect mate is another CD. but the jury is still out. I think I need to explore that side of me fully before I could make the right choice on that. I'm technically still a "virgin" when it comes to that so it's kinda scary/exciting/strange right now as I lean more and more towards it.
We'll see :)
i am with you sarah


No men, but GG and crossdressers are ok with me.

joan .. so what is a crossdresser ?



I plead the fifth! :devil:

now Deidra do you want me to post the pictures :heehee:

[Becky10]

It's something I have also thought about a lot. It will probably never happen but I like the thought of being attractive to a man and being treated as a girl in all respects. I would like to excite him and, being totally feminine, giving in to him. Ahh well, I can dream.....

Becky

[annekathleen]

We all have something in common: we like to cross dress.
We all do it for various reasons, and we accept each others choices.
Some of us are straight, some of us are bi, and some of us are gay.
Again, we should accept each other.
I guess I would consider myself "bi" as I have been with another man
while I was "cross dressed" to some degree. He was gay, and really didn't care what I was wearing.

[amber lynn]

I had my first experience Sat. night. My SO was out of town and I spent the day as Amber Lynn. Decided to go out that night - my first time out of the house and feeling a little frisky. Dressed in white lace panties, bra and garter belt. White hose and a cute little sun dress with halter top.
Drove to next town and ended up in a park where folks go to meet. Most exciting night of my life! Will definitely go again!
Amber Lynn

[Ema1234 GG]

I had my first experience Sat. night. My SO was out of town and I spent the day as Amber Lynn. Decided to go out that night - my first time out of the house and feeling a little frisky. Dressed in white lace panties, bra and garter belt. White hose and a cute little sun dress with halter top.
Drove to next town and ended up in a park where folks go to meet. Most exciting night of my life! Will definitely go again!
Amber Lynn


You don't deserve a SO. And I hope for her sake you used protection. Why should she have to pay for your stupidity?

[Veris]

I haven't been with a guy, but the thought has always been there. Only en femme though! And with my sweety, so it would have to be a three! :heehee:

[KarenNY]

been there, done that, but only while en femme and nothing physical other than slow dancing, holding hands and kissing. that's as far as I would ever go, and not at all since I've been married... but as a teen and 20-something, I did go out and about as Karen and had a few relationships with guys, both guys who knew and ones who didn't... Still hoping to do the mock wedding thing with a male groom, but again, I'm not interested in getting very physical... it's enough for me to experience the contrast between masculine and feminine, and being on the femme side of the aisle...

[BarbaraTalbot]

I had my first experience Sat. night. My SO was out of town ......
Amber Lynn

Ok this is why I am uncomfortable with threads like this constantly getting the most views and just enough posts to stay alive on the first page.

This is a forum first to address our needs as crossdressers and other transgendered persons to sort out who we are and why we like to dress, as it relates to gender and societal pressures.

I am by no means suggesting that those with same sex attraction be forced into a closet, but this just isn't supposed to be the focus of the forum. It feeds the stereotype that putting on a dress is 'gay'. This is why I stayed in the closet even to myself for 38 years. It felt unseemly to dress.

I am active on other boards such as one dealing with a particular import car. There are people of all walks of life there including those who are gay, bi-sexual or even ~gasp~ straight. If it happened to come up because for example someone mentioned a partner and in context one can infer that the person is gay, it wouldn't dominate the main forum.

I've never seen a thread "I was redlining my car in 4th gear and had to downshift when I saw a cute guy...good thing my seats recline..." etc etc.

Can we please have a discreet area for those who actually feel that what they wear "makes them gay" for them to sort through their feelings away from the worried eyes of brand new members who may be the worried wife or parent of a crossdresser whose first question invariably is, does dressing make him gay?

I say again, if anyone has to put on a dress in order to be comfortable with expressing their sexuality, there is more going on than gender confusion.

[Hippy Chic's Chick]

Ok this is why I am uncomfortable with threads like this constantly getting the most views and just enough posts to stay alive on the first page.

This is a forum first to address our needs as crossdressers and other transgendered persons to sort out who we are and why we like to dress, as it relates to gender and societal pressures.

I am by no means suggesting that those with same sex attraction be forced into a closet, but this just isn't supposed to be the focus of the forum. It feeds the stereotype that putting on a dress is 'gay'. This is why I stayed in the closet even to myself for 38 years. It felt unseemly to dress.

I am active on other boards such as one dealing with a particular import car. There are people of all walks of life there including those who are gay, bi-sexual or even ~gasp~ straight. If it happened to come up because for example someone mentioned a partner and in context one can infer that the person is gay, it wouldn't dominate the main forum.

I've never seen a thread "I was redlining my car in 4th gear and had to downshift when I saw a cute guy...good thing my seats recline..." etc etc.

Can we please have a discreet area for those who actually feel that what they wear "makes them gay" for them to sort through their feelings away from the worried eyes of brand new members who may be the worried wife or parent of a crossdresser whose first question invariably is, does dressing make him gay?

I say again, if anyone has to put on a dress in order to be comfortable with expressing their sexuality, there is more going on than gender confusion.

Thank you for some common sense!

I've stayed away from this thread for good reason, HC has just brought your post to my attention.

OK, I'm an open minded woman who knows enough of people to know that being a cross dresser doesn't make you a gay man. Many women it seems, don't. Society it seems don't know that either.

Let's for instance presume that HC and I came here for support for me, because I didn't have a clue what was happening - or I'd found a stash of underwear and decided to do some research of my own before approaching him. If I didn't have the understanding I do, I can be sure that I would be so unstable and insecure that I'd be scared to death, worried and contemplating finding myself a man that doesn't want to run off with another man.

I'd also ask people here to remember that while they can search google for 'cross dresser' and find their way here, so can SOs - and if I'd found my man answering this thread in the affirmative, he'd be gone.

I have no problems with homosexuality at all and I certainly don't believe that it's more prevalent in CDing society than in any other sub-society, but threads like this do favours to acceptance or perception from SOs, the general public, or even each other.

It's perfectly normal, I imagine to be dressed as a woman and fantasise about being a woman and to take the fantasy that bit further and consider what sex as a woman would be like. All men consider sex with other men, all women consider sex with other women - it's not particular to CDing and I am another who is not comfortable with the attitude threads like this give.

[Holly2]

Have not had the experience present itself to me but have had many thoughts about it.

[kerilynn]

Just waiting for the right guy to sweep me off my feet and onto my back! Call me...

Keri

[Sky]

I haven't posted in this forum for ages. Then I checked it just for old times' sake, found this thread and suddenly I remembered why I stopped posting.

If there's a community that should be vaccinated for life against close mindness, it should be ours. Yet we can still write something like :


Can we please have a discreet area for those who actually feel that what they wear "makes them gay" for them to sort through their feelings away from the worried eyes of brand new members who may be the worried wife or parent of a crossdresser whose first question invariably is, does dressing make him gay?

Barbara, I'm sure you had the best of intentions, yet what you wrote is terrible. A "discreet area" is a closet. Nothing more. It is exactly the same kind of reasoning -or lack of- the moral majority uses to disqualify crossdressers. John Q. Public says: "Uh, I'm veeeery open minded, you know, but, er, can't you dress away from the decent people, kind of a discreet place where nobody sees you?" Compare to the excerpt above, grammar is different, intentions are the same.

I am a bi crossdresser, but that's not the point. I'm not crazy about discussing personal experiences in detail in here, but if other crossdressers want to go for it they should be free to, even if what they write sounds like a fantasy. Freedom should be the same for everybody. And the proper response, if somebody doesn't like a particular theme or discussion, is to stay away from it, not to suggest they should be banished to the Web equivalent of a closet.

[Tamara Croft]

I had my first experience Sat. night. My SO was out of town and I spent the day as Amber Lynn.
Amber LynnYou are just a disgrace to the TG community, it's people like you that give other CD's a bad name. No wonder GG's/Partners get scared of coming to these forums, when there's people like you CHEATING... :loser:

[phyllis47]

No....... When dressed enfemme(no other way for me) I prefer other girls/tvs/ggs and am turned by the thought. But.... the other day, i got a bang out of showing some guy on IM some pics and he went wild.... he must have been drunk.

[Dee Talbot]

It's not the subject matter of this post that Barb and I find disconcerting. Neither one of us would want to see anyone in the closet. I don't think anyone should have to hide who they are. And if this were a thread asking if there were any gay/bi/bi-curious crossdressers here, then I would have no problem.

Rather, our concern is with the content. There are crossdressers on here, who are involved with SO's, yet are talking about fantasies, sneaking around, and cheating on said SO. I don't care if the person is gay or straight, infidelity is inappropriate. As an SO who DID find this site, after finding her CD's stash and was looking for information, it was a relief to find out that the skirt didn't define my SO as gay. If he were gay....fine, but what does that do to me, and to our straight relationship? Had I found this particular thread first, it would have been much harder for me to be open minded and embrace Barb.

I think Barb's point was simply that, graphic sexual fantasies, descriptions of "best night's ever with a guy", or tittering giggling sexual discussion is better suited to a sexually oriented section of the forum, as opposed to an open forum where even a child has access.

Dee

[Tamara Croft]

Well said Dee :clap: and I don't care if they are fresh water dolphins with sprinkles on top... cheating is cheating and nothing to do with cd'ing... so if you're cheating, we don't wanna know... this is a support forum for TG's, NOT CHEATERS FGS!!!!!!!!

[Sky]

Dee (Barb's GG),

I understand your early concerns about your SO and your relief when you found that not all cd's are gay (many are bi, don't know why you only use "gay"), but you did notice that some are, right?

If the purpose of this forum is to present a clean cut image of crossdressing to the general public, so be it, but apart from being silly, it would be painfully insincere.

Let's say some people create a forum about Gregorian Chant and then others post threads about "my best night with a guy". The founders would get mad, and it would be understandable. There's not any point of contact between the main theme and the thread.

But in a forum for crossdressers, sexual fantasies -or realities- are right up in front. Lots of crossdressers dress for sexual arousal. Some stay there, some go further. Some know what "a night with a guy" feels like, some don't but are more than curious, and some don't even want to hear about it. But you can't keep sex completely out of it.

[BarbaraTalbot]

Barbara, I'm sure you had the best of intentions, yet what you wrote is terrible. A "discreet area" is a closet. Nothing more. It is exactly the same kind of reasoning -or lack of- the moral majority uses to disqualify crossdressers.

I agree that my post was a little insensitive, and I apologize for anyone who would feel excluded by my comments.

What I mean to say, is that these threads seem to start well but quickly seem to degenerate into a bunch of guys in dresses that if actually offered a chance to be in a loving relationship with another guy wouldnt actually consider it.

I say this feeling a bit out of place myself just on the dressing issue. I mean there are people here that are truly transgendered and trapped in a body incongruent with their feelings. I worry sometimes that the recreational aspects of my Cd-ing could be off-putting to them. I just think that "what if" threads not "what is" tend to just be a lark and not something that the members are really dealing with.

I even started one myself trying to make it a little more clinical, just for example what do you feel your orientation is, sort of thread. Very little interest, and back to "well what if you were drunk and blindfolded???"

I think some of these stereotypes about only being able to overcome ones inhibitions and allow out a latent same sex attraction out while dressed is why the actual gay community doesn't take us very seriously.

I hope this post I made about my actual suggestion for where to move threads like this and why (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=976843&postcount=70) is more thoughtfully stated. I would welcome suggestions in what I had to say to be more inclusive.

The boys section here seems so much more mature about dealing with these issues. I learned a lot from a couple of threads I posted there wondering about orientation of f t m CD's. To sum up what I learned, gender and orientation are clearly separate issues, there are boys that like boys and boys that like girls and that in that small sample size F t M are probably more likely to be what I think of as truly transgendered.

I am in no way opposed to people enjoying (preferably with their partner or at least the encouragement of their partner) all the recreational aspects of dressing up. But it just strikes me here as inappropriate as if I posted, "Hey... Dee and I saw some really hot lesbian porn last night and...." Yes it may be relevant to CD'ing in a tangential way, but it isn't really the point.

[Kieron Andrew]

i understand the need for experimentation of sexuality, we've all done it, and i understand that alot of CDs feel the need to try going with a guy when dressed, but do it before you are involved with someone else, or quit the relationship you are in, there is no excuse to cheat

[Ema1234 GG]

Whilst I understand that this sort of fantasy is a common theme from some CDers, I really do think this thread is inappropriate. I doubt I would have had the nerve to post here when I first found it if I'd read that thread.

I came here scared, alone and confused. I'd found his stash and was in complete turmoil. Had I read that I'm sure many much worse things would have been going through my head.

I'm sorry but from the way I see it this is a forum about cross dressing and this post really doesn't have all that much to do with cross dressing. I'm sorry to be so blunt but if you having sex with men you are gay or bi, unless you consider yourself to be TS.

So many people on here bleet on about how clothes shouldn't define a persons gender. Well then, regardless of whether you are wearing a dress or not you are still a guy correct? Well in that case you are two men having sex and the last time I checked this was a CDing community not a gay community.

I'm not saying that this can't be acknowledged here but it's gone too far now. If you really need to talk about these activities I suggest you go and join a gay community as well.

[Dee Talbot]

Dee (Barb's GG),

I understand your early concerns about your SO and your relief when you found that not all cd's are gay (many are bi, don't know why you only use "gay"), but you did notice that some are, right?



I did, in my first paragraph, make mention of gay/bi/bi curious. Any references to "gay" in the second paragraph had to do with my possible concerns about my SO, and a reference to cheating. I didn't feel the need to go through the list of possible sexual preferences when making a reference to cheaters. My mistake.

I understand that fantasy has a lot to do with dressing for some men. I have no problem with that. There is a private forum that is strictly for the MtF crossdressers on this very site. Is there any particular reason that these fantasies need to be trotted out to everyone, including the GG's who frequent this area? Perhaps, since I love my CD'r, and enjoy intimacy with her, I should start a thread telling everyone how hot it is and how I am now fantasizing about getting a GG into bed!!!! OOOOH HOT!!! Of course, some men here would actually appreciate that :rolleyes:

My point is, this is an open area of the forum. You don't even have to have a membership to read in this section. Perhaps a little circumspection wouldn't be amiss.

Or, if you would rather....bare your fantasies for all to see and read. Turn off a few GG's who would otherwise have supported their CD'r. Run off any Cd's who also feel that this is inappropriate. What is the big loss there???? Then, anyone who is left, can sit around and discuss their fantasies to their hearts content. How fullfilling!!!!!:rolleyes:

Dee

Edited to add: Why is fantasy involving men while dressed even necessary? If you are gay or bi, fine. But what does dressing have to do with that? None of the gay men I know are even remotely interested in a guy wearing a dress. Bisexuality, or 2 CD'rs make more sense, but again, why dress to do this? Does it somehow complete the illusion of femininity? Because, as a GG, I have never felt the need to be sexual with a man to feel like a woman. And all of the women I know who are (horror of horrors) still virgins, are they somehow gender neuter due to the fact that they have never been sexual with a man or a woman? Sorry, I guess this just escapes me....

[Tamara Croft]

I agree that my post was a little insensitive, and I apologize for anyone who would feel excluded by my comments.

What I mean to say, is that these threads seem to start well but quickly seem to degenerate into a bunch of guys in dresses that if actually offered a chance to be in a loving relationship with another guy wouldnt actually consider it.I think you were right in the first place and I agree, these threads always turn into nothing but sleezy threads and who'd done what with who and cheated on who etc, etc,... and its bloody appauling.

Imagine you are inviting your family or friends for the first time to this forum and they came across this thread... everything you've told them would have just gone up in flames and out the window... We aren't interested in your sex lives, you don't see us posting about them out here... well most of us 'GG's' don't... nor do we go posting intimate things, but we're reading it all the time out here, on this open, public forum for the whole world to read...

And then there's the cheaters... cheating on their partners... more crap for the GG's/SO's/Partners to try and get their head around. You know, we have enough to deal with, finding out our partners' CD etc... nevermind having to deal with everyone elses bloody fantasies and cheating and God knows what else you do.... Oh and Puh-lease.... give up with the 'well it's all to do with cd'ing'... sorry to burst your bubble people, but sex was around a hell of a lot longer than crossdressing :rolleyes:

[Sky]

Barbara,


I just think that "what if" threads not "what is" tend to just be a lark and not something that the members are really dealing with.

Very true. But so what? You don't believe everything people posts in the Web is true, right? (maybe 5%? even less?)


I think some of these stereotypes about only being able to overcome ones inhibitions and allow out a latent same sex attraction out while dressed is why the actual gay community doesn't take us very seriously.

But you can't erase an inconvenient truth. Some cds do feel an attraction for the same sex (some only while dressed, some all the time). It doesn't look as if our biggest issue is with the gay communty (although there is prejudice among them, like everywhere) but with the "straight" majority. And I don't believe we will overcome their mistrust by presenting a choirboy image (no Catholic priest-related pun intended). We are what we are.


I hope this post I made about my suggestion for where to move threads like this and why is more thoughtfully stated. I would welcome suggestions in what I had to say to be more inclusive.

My humble suggestion is, do not worry about moving posts anywhere. Leave people be. If you are concerned about the image the community projects, I think you already know that a large percentage of sexual oriented posts are mere fantasies, but that should not be the point. If a guy dreams he is in an orgy every time he wears panties, and feels compelled to write about it, let him go for it. The moral majority does not need that as an excuse to outlaw crossdressing. And hiding our dirty laundry won't help our case anyway.

[Rosaliy Lynne]

I am rather mixed on this question. Yes I have been with several men since making my debut as a public female. Two were very good orally and yet I haven't seen either in quite a while. I think they went down the gay road but to each his/her own.

One was an out of town business man/cd with whom I spent the night at his hotel. No sex - for some silly reason neither of us was 'up' for it. We laughed at the porn chan he paid for on the hotel tv. He also took me to dinner at a nice chinese restaurant in the hotel. I was treated a proper lady all the way and loved it.

The last one is a gay friend of mine. I rather enjoy pleasing him for his enjoyment but basically, while I am willing to play, i still much prefer women. T-girls are next and guys a definite last place for me.

All three have something for me and I would be lying if I said I did not enjoy the experiences but in the long run, if I had to choose between being alone and being some man's woman, I'll chose being alone.

[Hippy Chic's Chick]

Barbara,



Very true. But so what? You don't believe everything people posts in the Web is true, right? (maybe 5%? even less?)

But this forum is open to CDers, their family and friends. If they visit here out of confusion and/or concern, then yeah - they'll believe it!




But you can't erase an inconvenient truth. Some cds do feel an attraction for the same sex (some only while dressed, some all the time). It doesn't look as if our biggest issue is with the gay communty (although there is prejudice among them, like everywhere) but with the "straight" majority. And I don't believe we will overcome their mistrust by presenting a choirboy image (no Catholic priest-related pun intended). We are what we are.

Some non-CDers are gay or bi. Some Cders prefer their chips with ketchup. The point is that CDers are no more prone to being gay or bi or vice versa. This thread perpetuates a myth that is very damaging for those trying to find acceptance within a straight relationship.

I came here wondering why some GGs had such trouble accepting CDing and where all the myths about, "He must be gay" or "Can I trust him?" come from. Now I know!




My humble suggestion is, do not worry about moving posts anywhere. Leave people be. If you are concerned about the image the community projects, I think you already know that a large percentage of sexual oriented posts are mere fantasies, but that should not be the point. If a guy dreams he is in an orgy every time he wears panties, and feels compelled to write about it, let him go for it. The moral majority does not need that as an excuse to outlaw crossdressing. And hiding our dirty laundry won't help our case anyway.

I wouldn't want to see CDing hidden, I'd love to see a day where anyone of any sex can dress according to whichever gender they feel like associating with on any particular day. While this sort of thread and attitude exists, CDers will continue to hide because nobody would consider taking them as anything less than sleazy.

Just to reiterate before someone takes offence... I called nobody sleazy, CDing is not sleazy. The comments on this thread are - and that is being perpetuated by CDers themselves - NOT society!

Nobody cares what you wear as long as you know who you are and as long as you're trustworthy, open and faithful. I'm only glad that those posting on here are in the minority.

[Alex!]

Been with a guy? Yikes. No way. Guys are nasty :)

But for others - go forth and be merry. The pursuit of happiness, as Thomas Jefferson once proclaimed in a famous document, should be our primary goal.

[Sky]

Is there any particular reason that these fantasies need to be trotted out to everyone, including the GG's who frequent this area?

Because it arouses the author. Not you, or me, or anybody else.


None of the gay men I know are even remotely interested in a guy wearing a dress.

That only means you don't know every gay man out there. And by the way, many people attracted to cds don't even consider themselves gays. Don't ask me if that is technically right or wrong. I don't care about labels.


Sorry, I guess this just escapes me....

More humble advice: just open your mind. There are a gazillion variances of sexual orientation, and every one of them makes perfect sense to some people. Just accept other people does not have to think like you.

[Dee Talbot]

That is correct, I don't know every gay man out there. And as far as opening my mind......puleeesssseee!!! You know nothing about me, so what gives you the right to pigeonhole me as closed minded? I am allowed to be open minded whether I understand someone else's fantasies or not. Not understanding does not mean intolerant. It simply means, it doesn't make sense...TO ME. I am quite certain, that there are many open minded crossdressers, gay/straight/bi/lesbian, for whom another person's fantasies don't make sense. If you can't understand where I am coming from....does that make you closed minded? Think about it.

As to writing fantasies on an open forum if the author gets a kick out of writing fantasies that is justification for anything? And, again I ask....what has this to do with crossdressing? That sounds like a man who gets off on writing sexually explicit works, and there are plenty of outlets online for that. Guess what??? There are even forums where they specialize in transgendered and crossdressing fantasy writing. If you are interested, I can direct you to several that I have actually been to and read. Read with an open mind no less.

Do you have a GG in your life whom you are hoping will accept your crossdressing? Do you have a wife, who if she saw this thread might wonder about your fidelity and sexual activity? Do you have a friend or relative who you might want to direct to this site, in order to help them understand why you dress irrespective of your sexuality? You seem to have overlooked the fact that several of us who have posted a distaste with this thread have done so for these very reasons.

Just because the forum is crossdressers.com, does not automatically make this place a sexually charged one. Again, being a crossdresser may have a sexual component for many. That doesn't make this sexual for all. By assuming it is primarily sexual, that then paints the stereotype that crossdressers are all doing this for a sexual thrill, which is incorrect.

Why not do this in the private forum??? Is the thrill more about the titillation of having others read one's sexual escapades? Or is it really about the author writing. If it's actually about the writing, then doing this in the private forum should be no problem. If it is about sexual exhibitionism.......then post away:rolleyes:

Dee

[Hippy Chic's Chick]

Or better still...

If it's about writing erotic stories, is there not a writing forum? (I've not visited it myself so can't say whether this sort of thing fits, but at least visitors and friends/family could see the difference between fiction and reality.)

[Sky]

You know nothing about me, so what gives you the right to pigeonhole me as closed minded?

Your writings.


As to writing fantasies on an open forum if the author gets a kick out of writing fantasies that is justification for anything? And, again I ask....what has this to do with crossdressing?

The fantasies are about crossdressing.


You seem to have overlooked the fact that several of us who have posted a distaste with this thread have done so for these very reasons.

If you don't like it, don't look at it.


Why not do this in the private forum??? Is the thrill more about the titillation of having others read one's sexual escapades?

Yep.


Or is it really about the author writing.

Nope.

[Ema1234 GG]

The fantasies are about crossdressing.




I beg to differ, these fantasys are not to do with crossdressing they are about having sexual relationships with men. :rolleyes:

[Shelly Preston]

Would those posting please keep to the topic

[Ema1234 GG]

If you don't like it, don't look at it.




And what about all those new GG's looing for help and advice during an extremely confusing time. Would you like them to be under the impression that a major part of crossdressing is to do with sleeping with other men?

Is that what you want? To potentially destroy the opportunity to allow a GG to accept and support her partner. I doubt I would have registered had I read this thread. Infact, I'm sure I would have jumped to conclusions about my own partner.

Think about the impression this thread gives to people who are new to concept of CDing.

[Dee Talbot]

Well then, play on!!!!!!

And again, you know nothing about me. My writings, which clearly have not really read, only picked out those things which you choose to put your own spin on, have nothing to do with the way you have stereotyped me.

And for each and every CD'r who has a wife that is totally skeeved out by this sleazy thread, my heart goes out to you. Apparently, it is more important to share one's every kinky sexual thought than it is to be welcoming to all.

For all of those who actually are fortunate enough to find a loving relationship with an SO of any gender, I wish you all the best. I hope you are able to find someone and can be faithful in both heart and mind to that person.

If you find you cannot, then I am afraid you may find yourself doomed to living out fantasies on an online forum.

Dee

[BarbaraTalbot]

Why is that I don't see posts from transitioned FtM women agonizing about whether they might or might not be interested in males. Pre-op and post-op whatever their desire was before sexually is the same after. (Although the labels change)

After a transition they are women. At that point it is absolutely no issue about crossdressing, they have transitioned, they now have alignment between their inner feeling and their exterior. I am sure that I have never heard of a transitioned person for fun putting on the clothing of the former gender just to explore a different sexuality.

Some transwomen like women, some like men, some like both.
That doesn't change if they wear a prom gown or a pair of overalls.

Just because some of us get a charge (me included) from our dressing just implies that we are more on the CD side of the spectrum than TG. What we do under the influence of the pink fog is still a reflection of who we are.

[Hippy Chic's Chick]

I beg to differ, these fantasys are not to do with crossdressing they are about having sexual relationships with men. :rolleyes:

Ahhh, but you seee - it's not.

It's umm, well...

Yes, it's about sleeping with men, but only if they're dressed as women, which is fine because that you see, is CDing, and not being gay or bi you see.

Nope, not one bit.


But that's OK, because I've learned from these forums that I am a lesbian who has lesbian sex with a man.

Anyone got some aspirin?

[Kieron Andrew]

Why is that I don't see posts from transitioned FtM women agonizing about whether they might or might not be interested in males.you mean transitioned MtFs not FtMs i hope

[Sharon]

Once more with emphasis:


Would those posting please keep to the topic

The last page or so of posts are more suitable for another thread. How about we return to the original topic and not question its validity since this forum is for both heterosexuals and homosexuals.

[Kieron Andrew]

But that's OK, because I've learned from these forums that I am a lesbian who has lesbian sex with a man.

Anyone got some aspirin?
lol you forgot the part about lesbian sex with a man that happens to be dressed as a woman, now i too need an aspirin and im allergic lol

[Amber CD]

I've been with a guy while dressed, and even though we are both submissive, I was the dominant one that night.

If I did it again, I'd much rather be with a dominant CD. Someone who can lead the way and make me feel like a woman.

[Hippy Chic's Chick]

lol you forgot the part about lesbian sex with a man that happens to be dressed as a woman, now i too need an aspirin and im allergic lol

I think that's what I meant - I'm not sure anymore! But we found a way around that - from now on, I'm nicking his PJs and we're having straight sex. I can't be doing with all this confusion...

:straightface:

[Elsbeth]

No, never been with a guy and wouldn't want to.

<Austin Powers voice> Chicks for me, yea baby! </Austin Powers voice>

I want what I want, as Elsbeth or that other guy. I'm only sexually attracted to females. And I find it hard to fathom that sexual orientation would change based on clothes. But I'm sure others find it hard to fathom that I am occasionally Elsbeth. So to each their own.

El

[ReginaK]

Never been with a guy. Don't care to be. But I wouldn't mind being the guy with a another CD.

[MsJanessa]

Never been with a guy. Don't care to be. But I wouldn't mind being the guy with a another CD.
Or the CD with another CD?

[michelleinhighheels]

yes : if i am going to be with a guy i am a dom.woman and i am all ways in control.he will do as i say. now on the other hand if it is a g.g. lady then i will do most any thing she wants. as long as i can play dressed as a woman.if it is with another cd then what ever happens happens.:happy::happy::happy:

[Ellie]

I've not been with a guy just yet but I am looking forward to a fun little encounter. My GF and I are really more interested in playing with another CD/TV rather then a masculine guy but we'll see how things go.

Right now I've working on a side project that is taking up my spare time and preventing me from dressing up... much :winking:

[suzi_cd]

Well said Dee :clap: and I don't care if they are fresh water dolphins with sprinkles on top... cheating is cheating and nothing to do with cd'ing... so if you're cheating, we don't wanna know... this is a support forum for TG's, NOT CHEATERS FGS!!!!!!!!

So what about CD's who are hiding it from their SOs - lying to them, sneaking off behind their backs and dressing.

If cheating is wrong then surely you should condemn those who are hiding it from their SOs?

[Charity's GG]

Yep, been with a guy...would do it again in a heartbeat....been dating guys since I was 16...:tongueout

All ive got to say to the rest of this is:mad::mad::thumbsdn::straightface::rolleyes:

Im kind of late in posting anything on this but I have to say...if I had just found out about Charity, and then joined this forum and saw this thread, I'd be one mad momma! Mad, confused etc etc. To each his/her own but for those of us who are still in accepting stages or having a hard time handling our cdr's emotions, fits, not to mention our own feelings, can these questions be asked in private??

Have a wondermous evening!!:love:

[Amber CD]

Or the CD with another CD?
The CD with another CD would be ideal for me. If I got with a genetic male again, I'd have to make sure it felt right... the last time it happened, it felt rushed.

[Satrana]

can these questions be asked in private??


Gay and bisexual thoughts do not belong in the closet anymore than crossdressing thoughts belong in the closet.

Me, I admit to fantasizing about it but it is not something I could actually carry out. As a heterosexual guy, I would not be able to keep within my fantasy, reality would kick in long before anything happened. I do though enjoy male attention/compliments if I am enfemme outside. Who wouldn't? Innocent flirting is fun so long as it does not go beyond that.

[ReginaK]

Or the CD with another CD?

I don't know. I enjoy being "the guy" in bed. Clothing, mind-state, and all.

[Sugar01]

Sure. It's the best part of dressing. :heehee:

[ta2]

I have been with men several times some dressed under men clothes and some not all times were oral so never fully been with a man. I have no desier to go that far with out a girl or CD friend with me. And the thought of being with another CD both in dress is somthing I realy want to try with or without a girl. I actualy look forward to the day
I mean if you are gona be a girl be a girl and that is the bigest day in a girls life
I realy cant skip that

I have questioned maney girls on what it was like so i could get a idea of what it would be like. I never clued them in on why I asked justed asked as a boy.
And honestly It is just a mater of time place and person I aint geting any younger and I just fell inside it is time

[JaneBronco]

I have almost been with a GM. He is a cop in our local town and he has always been sweet on me. I am looking for someone here in Louisiana to hook up with and try it too......

Jane

[Sheila]

how many of you that have responded in the posative in this topic and said yup been there done that, or it is on my wish list of things to do, have actually had the courage to let your partners know of your intentions or actions ............ obviously this question is for those in a relationship ..........

[ManInBra]

Well in 1987 when I had got out of the Navy, I was staying at my GF's place at the time, well my buddy and I started having a few beers and talking abit more about things we had thought about and things we fantasized about, and well we were partying quite a bit and then I pretty much told him that I wanted to know what certain things would be like or feel like, well anyway we both went upstairs and got some lingerie items of my GF's, and she was sleeping at the time, and put them on and went back downstairs but without to much detail, it was interesting and yet good to say the least, I wasnt able (and still havent been able) to attempt all things I was or am curious about,, but all in time maybe,, I could go find where hes living these days,, lol but for the most part, I would do it again, as long as its someone I know for a fact I can trust, :drink: Toast and I'll drink to that

[Mitch23]

a really challenging question Jess. Life was very much more straightforward when I was 'straight' but with and undie fetish which I gratified in secret. Now Mitch is asserting herself more and more, I am getting fuzzy warm feelings from the thought of going out in public, en femme and being wined and dined by a nice guy. I have joined tvchix and been talking to a couple of guys online and they would both like me to go out with them.

This is a step that I had never anticipated and I don't know where it would lead - one night stand, permanent relationship - who knows. Would I tell my wife? I know I should - the effect would be to end my marriage - no doubts about that. She's hanging on to my cd but doesn't like it and fears the worst. to her this would be the worst. What do I do? Dunno - indulge these deep urges or try to squash them

mitch

[Jamie001]

Mitch,
I don't have these types of urges to deal with, however, if you really love your wife and value your marriage, they you should resist the urges. The most important thing in a marriage is trust and fidelity. Maybe you should back-away from communication with the men that you have been chatting with because you may make an impulsive decision based entirely upon urges that you may regret for the rest of your life. If I were in your position, I would step-back for a while and do some soul-searching.

:hugs: Jamie



a really challenging question Jess. Life was very much more straightforward when I was 'straight' but with and undie fetish which I gratified in secret. Now Mitch is asserting herself more and more, I am getting fuzzy warm feelings from the thought of going out in public, en femme and being wined and dined by a nice guy. I have joined tvchix and been talking to a couple of guys online and they would both like me to go out with them.

This is a step that I had never anticipated and I don't know where it would lead - one night stand, permanent relationship - who knows. Would I tell my wife? I know I should - the effect would be to end my marriage - no doubts about that. She's hanging on to my cd but doesn't like it and fears the worst. to her this would be the worst. What do I do? Dunno - indulge these deep urges or try to squash them

mitch

[crunchysoda]

how many of you that have responded in the posative in this topic and said yup been there done that, or it is on my wish list of things to do, have actually had the courage to let your partners know of your intentions or actions ............ obviously this question is for those in a relationship ..........


Yes I wondered that too. Being a GG GF to my CDing Hetero man.
If I found this thread w/him saying "oh yes, Ive thought of that, but only dressed en femme or only in fantasy", even that would be very difficult and painful for me.

Ive asked him about his sexual attraction and he swears up and down that he is only attracted to women. Has no desire to be w/a man en femme or anything else.

If I suddenly learned this was all a big ruse I would be crushed. If that's what he wanted then at least give me the information to make an informed decision for myself.

Anyway that's OT.

sigh.

[SatinDoll00]

... What do I do? Dunno - indulge these deep urges or try to squash them

mitch

Hi Mitch,

I would recommend the use of extreme caution where you are headed. These types of situations can quickly spiral out of control. Recently, I found myself suddenly having lunch with a friend that was 'interested'. I had to make choices quickly...and it is very easy to get wrapped up in the fem side of things. When all was said and done, I remained faithful to my wife, but I wish I had not even put myself in that situation now.

Morgan

[Veronica Fallon]

Hmmm... I had to think hard about whether or not to post on this thread.

At first I was eager to, mostly because I thought my perspective on the subject was slightly different than what others had said, & just maybe my viewpoint (put with the rest) could help a new sister to understand herself better. I did not intend to share my sexuality here for any gratuitous thrill (although I'm not above doing that elsewhere).

Then... I read the posts from our GG's & was immediately reminded of what I consider to be the highest value of this forum- the enlightenment of the general public, with hopes of gradually diminishing the plague of ignorance & bigotry in our primitive society.

I'm not one who believes in censorship, but I have to agree with the GG's here. I've never been to the "private" forum, but it does seem like the logical place for this thread, all things considered. It would pain me to find out that an otherwise accepting S/O was forever tainted against crossdressing by this thread feeding her fears instead of diminishing them. And just think of the poor sister who loses her partner (& perhaps much more) just when she's at her most frightened & vulnerable!

So I am posting here, but only in support of our GG's views, & not to share my own sexuality. Another place, another time.

One more thing...
CHEATERS GET NO RESPECT FROM ME WHATSOEVER!!! GROW THE F**K UP & TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF!!

Veronica

[willowgurl]

Let's just say I love everything about being a "girl", especially enjoying what men have to offer.

[SatinDoll00]

CHEATERS GET NO RESPECT FROM ME WHATSOEVER!!! GROW THE F**K UP & TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF!!



Cheating on your SO is wrong. Absolutely.

There is nothing wrong with being a homosexual or bisexual or heterosexual.

Morgan

[Kendra mtf]

I am only attracted to other cd's. I am not attracted to men at all, just the package, and only while dresssed. I love oral.

[kathyjojo]

I have been with a man when I am dress and there is no other feeling like it.
But I have been treated the other way when dress when they think you are just to pls them unwanted feeling too.:2c:

[cutiepiedanielle]

I would say I'm bicurious. Only ever been with women, and definitely love women, but I am interested in hooking up with a guy and seeing what happens in girl mode. Just need to find a gentleman who'd respect me and not some scumbag, that's the hard part, hehe

[Cara Allen]

You don't deserve a SO. And I hope for her sake you used protection. Why should she have to pay for your stupidity?

That is cruel. You shouldn't judge others so harshly. How can you be transgendered, and be so critical??? There are people in this world that get pleasure from hurting or killing others. This has more to do with personal fulfillment of a side of us that has been surpressed and subjugated, than with adultery. So much hate... though you should wear comdoms (smile)

[musclepete2007]

I"m the same and the exact opposite---I like to dress, be with a guy and absolutly dominate him---funny they seem to like to be submissive to Me:dom:
i would love to be with u

[Cara Allen]

Thank you for some common sense!

I've stayed away from this thread for good reason, HC has just brought your post to my attention.

OK, I'm an open minded woman who knows enough of people to know that being a cross dresser doesn't make you a gay man. Many women it seems, don't. Society it seems don't know that either.

Let's for instance presume that HC and I came here for support for me, because I didn't have a clue what was happening - or I'd found a stash of underwear and decided to do some research of my own before approaching him. If I didn't have the understanding I do, I can be sure that I would be so unstable and insecure that I'd be scared to death, worried and contemplating finding myself a man that doesn't want to run off with another man.

I'd also ask people here to remember that while they can search google for 'cross dresser' and find their way here, so can SOs - and if I'd found my man answering this thread in the affirmative, he'd be gone.

I have no problems with homosexuality at all and I certainly don't believe that it's more prevalent in CDing society than in any other sub-society, but threads like this do favours to acceptance or perception from SOs, the general public, or even each other.

It's perfectly normal, I imagine to be dressed as a woman and fantasise about being a woman and to take the fantasy that bit further and consider what sex as a woman would be like. All men consider sex with other men, all women consider sex with other women - it's not particular to CDing and I am another who is not comfortable with the attitude threads like this give.

Well, I am certainly (i hope) sensitive to the needs of the wives and significant others, but this is first and foremost, a way for us to begin to figure out what we have in common. I don't think that ANYthing should be off of the table, unless it's politics... (smile)

I spent much time in a transgendered group, and because the wives were there, this kind of topic would never, ever be opened for discussion. While our loved ones are very important, we MUST explore what makes us tick. I really doubt that this kind of question has never been asked of our community before, for a general response. These things are so important to us.

May I suggest, first of all, that if a topic is not what you want to know, don't read it? I don't mean to be rude, but I want to know these things. I have the same drives myself. My therapist says that it is completely natural for me to have these feelings. Being transgendered does not mean that I am asexual. Women have these drives, and if it is true that we are at least partly female, it also follows that we want normal sexual, intimate relationships. It's a part of being female. I agree.

However, commitment is an issue. I happen to feel that I am trapped in something (not transgenderism, but the direction of my life,) that had more to do with what society made me, not necessarily choice. If the choice was available, I would have had surgery at 18!

Now I find myself in a long and committed relationship for my male side, but my female side wants to know what it feels like to be with a man. I didn't sign on to be a nun. Because of societal controls, it took me all these years for me to become a mature woman. Now, I am past middle age, still feel sexy, and want to be desired. I feel that, to be complete as a person, I want to scratch an itch.

People were not meant to be sexually frustrated. I am committed, but torn. I want to know what others think, too?

Should a transgender, in a long term monogamous relationship, feel guilty to know what it's like, and act on it?

For ten years, I have felt like a spinster.....

[Cara Allen]

You are just a disgrace to the TG community, it's people like you that give other CD's a bad name. No wonder GG's/Partners get scared of coming to these forums, when there's people like you CHEATING... :loser:

I understand how you feel, i have been struggling with this for a long time. GG's will not understand (unless they too, are transgendered.) Commitment is commitment.

Consider for a second that you just discovered that your parents are not who you thought they were. Many people would go on, not making much of it. Many otjhers would want to know. this is something that is at the core of many of us.

Keeping someone close emotionally means that you must want them to be happy, not caged, like a bird. You of course, have decisions to make, based on your need of commitment.

I know that commitment is everything in a relationship. Without it there is no relationship. However, a response like this implies that this is not a deep seated issue for the transgender comm8unity.

[Mistybtm]

I"m the same and the exact opposite---I like to dress, be with a guy and absolutly dominate him---funny they seem to like to be submissive to Me:dom:

Count me in very submissive when dressed

[BarbaraTalbot]

Should a transgender, in a long term monogamous relationship, feel guilty to know what it's like, and act on it?

If a transgendered person considers themselves monogamous and chose to be in a monogamous relationship with someone of the gender they are not attracted to it would surely cause some angst.

If they wish to be with a person of a gender different than presented by person they are currently in a long term monogamous relationship, they have several options.

1) Suppress these urges and remain monogamous.

2) Talk to their partner about their feelings and urges and IF the partner assents, transform the relationship into a polyamorous relationship. If so, one should be prepared for allowing one's partner similar privileges to act on their urges what ever they may be.

A GREAT and healthy example is the following:


I've not been with a guy just yet but I am looking forward to a fun little encounter. My GF and I are really more interested in playing with another CD/TV rather then a masculine guy but we'll see how things go.:winking:



3) Allow their partner to continue to believe that they are in a mutually monogamous relationship while in a surreptitious manner, arranging assignations with a party or parties that are in fact not the person that is agreed to be one's monogamous partner. Many people like to use what is often thought of as a judgmental label for this behavior. The label that is often used is "cheating"

Now, your question basically pertains to option three. I realize you didn't ask about the label, so lets leave that aside. As far as whether you should feel guilty, that depends on the definition of should. If you mean is there something pathologically wrong with a person exercising option three and not feeling the unsettling feeling that we know as guilt, then yes. In order to do so and not feel guilt, one either has a special natural ability not to feel guilt. This is becoming more common. Some of these gifted persons are"labeled" as having psychopathy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy) of some sort. More commonly these feelings of guilt can be assuaged by any number of constructions and rationalizations.

Some suggestions that seem effective for some are: (in no particular order) "My wife (husband/SO/dog/cousin) doesn't really understand me", "I am a very sexual being and don't to burden the other person with such rigorous duty", "I am enlightened enough to realize that all feelings of guilt are just societies way of controlling my spirit which yearns to soar free", "This has more to do with personal fulfillment of a side of us that has been suppressed and subjugated, than with adultery", "When I dress, (or on Tuesdays and Thursdays, or when it is overcast, or when the moon is in full phase) I FEEL like a different person/gender/animal and therefore I didn't actually do anything wrong. There are many other possibilities, feel free to substitute your own. Extra points for creativity.

[prettieboy]

i cannot understand what im hearing obviously u r not xdressers. a true cd is a cd because he cant get enough of the GG

[GINA-CD]

I haven't but I'd love to. Being with a guy (or two) is part of being a girl and I'm definitely thinking of guys when I'm enfemme. If I'm dressed like a girl, I think like a girl. Safety is priority one. That being said, I'd try with a nice man any day.:doll:

[LizBeth]

Years ago I was with a bimm discreetly for over 7 years untill he moved out of state, we had a loving relationship, I dressed all the time , him some time but I was the bottom or fem, I loved the way he treated me as a women and would please him in every way like a women, then he moved and nothing for a while , now with an older couple he is bi cd and she is just horny for an older women, its nice I miss the one on one with a man more my age , and being a fem bottom for him but this is a nice set up, best of both worlds now

[Melanie R]

I agree with you Veronica. This thread should not be on this forum. This type of discussion scares the hell out of wives. My wife this past weekend was counseling with a couple where the wife has now filed for divorce because her TG husband wants to have his one night a week to be in his femme self with men. He has agreed to give up this venture into being a woman but the wife has seen him make the same promise and in time go back to this practice. He wanted to be like Alice Novick, the author of Alice in Genderland. Alice is a CD who says his wife permits him to have one night each week as Alice with his boyfriend. I know my wife as most would be in divorce court if I wanted to have a boyfriend on the side. Marriage has to be scared or stay single and have all the boy friends you want. Now if your GF or wife agrees to sharing you with another man or another TG person that is their decision. I question that relationship.

Just my thoughts.

Hugs,

Melanie





Hmmm... I had to think hard about whether or not to post on this thread.

At first I was eager to, mostly because I thought my perspective on the subject was slightly different than what others had said, & just maybe my viewpoint (put with the rest) could help a new sister to understand herself better. I did not intend to share my sexuality here for any gratuitous thrill (although I'm not above doing that elsewhere).

Then... I read the posts from our GG's & was immediately reminded of what I consider to be the highest value of this forum- the enlightenment of the general public, with hopes of gradually diminishing the plague of ignorance & bigotry in our primitive society.

I'm not one who believes in censorship, but I have to agree with the GG's here. I've never been to the "private" forum, but it does seem like the logical place for this thread, all things considered. It would pain me to find out that an otherwise accepting S/O was forever tainted against crossdressing by this thread feeding her fears instead of diminishing them. And just think of the poor sister who loses her partner (& perhaps much more) just when she's at her most frightened & vulnerable!

So I am posting here, but only in support of our GG's views, & not to share my own sexuality. Another place, another time.

One more thing...
CHEATERS GET NO RESPECT FROM ME WHATSOEVER!!! GROW THE F**K UP & TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF!!

Veronica

[SatinDoll00]

This thread should not be on this forum. This type of discussion scares the hell out of wives.

Melanie

Would it be better that they not know??

This forum is called Crossdressers.com. It is setup so that people that crossdress, or those involved with them, can express their desires, their needs, their opinions, or otherwise just talk about issues. Is it not?

GGs and SOs should absolutely be included in these discussions. I love the fact that many of the GGs and SOs here are supportive of their CD SOs. Even the ones that are not have a place to learn things they did not know, and perhaps can find acceptance. If they can't, that is certainly understandable. I know for a cold, hard, fact, that if my wife wanted to dress only as a man, and wanted to seek relationships outside the marriage, that I would not stand for it.

But...

With all that said, burying your head in the sand does not erase the issues that surround Transgenderism. To exclude those that have these desires is not going to present a proper representation of what the TG community is really all about.

Does this mean that all TGs are homosexual or bisexual??? NO!

However, I think that the SO of a CD should understand that there are those out there that have these feelings! Imagine if you will an SO that just found out that her SO is a CD. She will have a million questions, and one of them should be ... 'are you interested in sexual relations with men?'.

By simply avoiding the subject, you are not addressing the needs of the relationship.

In many cases, the CD has no desire to be with men. In some cases that is not true...and the SO has every right to know that, so that they can make the most informed decision possible.

Many things in this world frighten us. Many things are "scary", but we have to deal with them. I personally believe (and GGs/SOs, please correct me if I am wrong here) that sexuality, as in sexual preference, is a huge underlying reason why a GG/SO may be hurt, afraid, or otherwise unaccepting of CD behavior.

Now before anyone gets worked up here...let me say this...and it is important.

WHEN A CD COMES OUT TO A GG/SO, THE GG/SO HAS THE RIGHT TO KNOW EVERYTHING IF SHE OR HE WANTS TO!

Now I know this makes me a hypocrite in the regard that I have not come out to my wife as of yet. However, have no interest in perusing anything outside of our marriage. I will tell her, in my own time, when I feel that she is ready to handle it. I have been letting her know slowly in my own way, and already I have seen a change in her level of acceptance.

This issue is not something that needs to be swept under the rug. For many, it is the cornerstone of why they feel the urge to crossdress (again, not all). For this forum to censor such sentiment would not only be a disservice to the CDs that post here, but it would also be a disservice for the GGs/SOs that come here to try and gain an understanding of what motivates CDs to do what they do.

I am prepared for the flaming...let her rip!

Morgan

[suzi_cd]

I agree with you Veronica. This thread should not be on this forum. This type of discussion scares the hell out of wives. My wife this past weekend was counseling with a couple where the wife has now filed for divorce because her TG husband wants to have his one night a week to be in his femme self with men. He has agreed to give up this venture into being a woman but the wife has seen him make the same promise and in time go back to this practice. He wanted to be like Alice Novick, the author of Alice in Genderland. Alice is a CD who says his wife permits him to have one night each week as Alice with his boyfriend. I know my wife as most would be in divorce court if I wanted to have a boyfriend on the side. Marriage has to be scared or stay single and have all the boy friends you want. Now if your GF or wife agrees to sharing you with another man or another TG person that is their decision. I question that relationship.

Just my thoughts.

Hugs,

Melanie

So what about CDs without GF/Wife/SO who are quite happy to explore this side of their character? Or those with an SO who is happy for "their" CD to explore - I see you think that their relationships are "questionable". What makes you the person to judge other peoples relationships and the status of their marriages?


Is this a forum for CDs of all sorts or only for "straight" CDs who are involved with a GF/Wife/SO and who don't have "open" relationships. If so will someone delete my profile as I want no part of a forum that openly supports bigoted, narrow minded views that I thought had been dumped in the trash years ago with all those equally warped ideas about lesbians and gays

I find it amazing that the puritans on here who seem to have major problems with CDs exploring the sexual aspects of their CDing are quite happy to support people who lie, cheat and deceive their GF/Wife/SO and dress behind their backs.

[SatinDoll00]

I find it amazing that the puritans on here who seem to have major problems with CDs exploring the sexual aspects of their CDing are quite happy to support people who lie, cheat and deceive their GF/Wife/SO and dress behind their backs.

While I agree with much of what you said...let's not exclude those of us who are still closeted...okay??

There are many here that would seek to make this strictly a forum for the SOs of TGs that have come out to them.

This is not, in my opinion what the forum should be about. Exclusion is forcing someone back into a repressed state. We, I, do not want anyone that is TG/CD or their SOs to feel as though they cannot come here and express their feelings. BUT...we must all remember that at some point, our opinions stop being simply that...and they begin to infringe upon those around us.

I understand your point...and I know it is not directed at those of us that are closeted...but, we need all the support we can get too!!!

CDind is not a simple issue. There is no "one, right way". Many seek to shape us into their mold...but you, me, him, her, them, those...all fit into a different mold.

Intolerence is intolerence...

Morgan

[Cindy N]

I am pretty new at CDing. I don't know where it will lead, but for now I still like women. But some of the members look like they could certainly change my mind.

[SatinDoll00]

I am pretty new at CDing. I don't know where it will lead, but for now I still like women. But some of the members look like they could certainly change my mind.

Don't let anyone change you...that is for YOU!

You need to make up your own mind about things...we are only here to support you and help you.

Remember one thing...as it has been posted before...cheating is wrong!!

I am one of the strongest advocates of gay/bi rights here...but I do not abide cheating...and neither should anyone else.

I don't know your situation, but I would take your time and figure out exactly what it is that you want...just don't do it at the expense of a wonderful woman's sweet heart...they really, really, do deserve better than that!!

Morgan

[Jennaie]

I don't have a wife, gf, or significant other of any kind at the moment. So, I would not be cheating on anyone if I did have sex with man or a woman. We don't need to talk about this. We are born both male and female. We are all different and we need to respect that.

[SatinDoll00]

I don't have a wife, gf, or significant other of any kind at the moment. So, I would not be cheating on anyone if I did have sex with man or a woman. We don't need to talk about this. We are born both male and female. We are all different and we need to respect that.

Some of us don't need to talk about this. Some of us do.

And you are right...we are all different, and we absolutely need to respect that.

Thanks for your insight!!

Morgan

[geri]

girls,
let's think this one out. really................
i think that the only time we would want to be with a guy is when we have had srs and are totally transformed. otherwise, wouldn't we be gay or lesbian?
i am in the process of transformation and when i am finished, i will have and want delightful sex with a man. because that is what women do............ please their partners.
as a man, i rarely got satisfied because my SO was not into sex. i am starving for affection and plan on satisfying my man and he will satisfy his woman. ( me ).
i think this whole experience is terrific and i can't wait until i'm finished.
any replys are welcomed.
geri danielle

[SatinDoll00]

i think that the only time we would want to be with a guy is when we have had srs and are totally transformed. otherwise, wouldn't we be gay or lesbian?


And what exactly is wrong with that??

Morgan

[geri]

are you transsexual? just curios because that's the way i'm going.

[geri]

I have but not enfemm, not yet atleast.
My g/f and I were at a party and were very very drunk :drink: and we ended up having a threesome and it wasn't like i could just be like hey hold on let me go dress in drab! haha oh well you cant win them all!

kiera,
i am transforming and will want to be with a man when i'm finished. to do so before would make me gay.
and after tranformation, some girls want to be with women. my question is why go thru all the BS to be a lesbian.
i can only invision the feelings when a man touches me when i am totally womanized. ohhh.
geri danielle

[SatinDoll00]

are you transsexual? just curios because that's the way i'm going.

You know, I really don't know!!

I think I am. But it changes everyday.

Recently, my inclination has been toward complete male...but I cannot shake the feeling that I was born the way I was for a reason.

Your question raises so many issues for me.

1- Is there life after death?
Many believe so. Many Christians believe in Heaven and Hell. Many Hindus believe in reincarnation. Are they one? For me, heaven would be being re-born as a female, or at least a male without duality. Sometimes I wonder if I was female in a former life and that I cannot let go of it. Other times I think I am simply crazy!!! Who knows...not me.

2- Would I become female...damn the consequences??
No. I couldn't now...but there was a time that I would have. Many times in my life, I have found myself wanting exactly that. I am married now, and I cannot even imagine what my wife would think if I told her I want to be a woman. How do you deal with that?? More importantly...why should she have too? It is not possible...it is only my imagination...so why put her through it? Perhaps I can one day tell her that I like to dress as a female...but not now.

3- Am I a Transexual?
I have always thought that someone that was actually Transexual was someone that not only felt they were born in the wrong body (TG), but did something about it (hormones at least, possibly SRS).

I know this...

I am me...and me is two people...my male self and Morgan. I live every day in a constant struggle over who gets control. Most days it is me, unfortunately, because I feel she has more worth than I do. But I cannot deny that I like my life as a whole. What does this make me??? A freak? Certainly. A liar...almost certainly. Insane...perhaps. Dual personality? Maybe. I have no idea. I just wake up when the clock goes off. If it is a work day, I put on a suit, a male suit...and I go. If it isn't, and my wife is not home, I put on a dress and makeup. What more is there to say?? There is little I can do about any of it. I am torn down the middle. I am Morgan, I am my male self...I am both.

But I am okay with it.

And it is all I can do right now.

Morgan <----and her male self.

[Rosaliy Lynne]

Would it be better that they not know??

This forum is called Crossdressers.com. It is setup so that people that crossdress, or those involved with them, can express their desires, their needs, their opinions, or otherwise just talk about issues. Is it not?

GGs and SOs should absolutely be included in these discussions. I love the fact that many of the GGs and SOs here are supportive of their CD SOs. Even the ones that are not have a place to learn things they did not know, and perhaps can find acceptance. If they can't, that is certainly understandable. I know for a cold, hard, fact, that if my wife wanted to dress only as a man, and wanted to seek relationships outside the marriage, that I would not stand for it.

But...

With all that said, burying your head in the sand does not erase the issues that surround Transgenderism. To exclude those that have these desires is not going to present a proper representation of what the TG community is really all about.

Does this mean that all TGs are homosexual or bisexual??? NO!

However, I think that the SO of a CD should understand that there are those out there that have these feelings! Imagine if you will an SO that just found out that her SO is a CD. She will have a million questions, and one of them should be ... 'are you interested in sexual relations with men?'.

By simply avoiding the subject, you are not addressing the needs of the relationship.

In many cases, the CD has no desire to be with men. In some cases that is not true...and the SO has every right to know that, so that they can make the most informed decision possible.

Many things in this world frighten us. Many things are "scary", but we have to deal with them. I personally believe (and GGs/SOs, please correct me if I am wrong here) that sexuality, as in sexual preference, is a huge underlying reason why a GG/SO may be hurt, afraid, or otherwise unaccepting of CD behavior.

Now before anyone gets worked up here...let me say this...and it is important.

[COLOR=black]WHEN A CD COMES OUT TO A GG/SO, THE GG/SO HAS THE RIGHT TO KNOW EVERYTHING IF SHE OR HE WANTS TO!

Now I know this makes me a hypocrite in the regard that I have not come out to my wife as of yet. However, have no interest in perusing anything outside of our marriage. I will tell her, in my own time, when I feel that she is ready to handle it. I have been letting her know slowly in my own way, and already I have seen a change in her level of acceptance.

This issue is not something that needs to be swept under the rug. For many, it is the cornerstone of why they feel the urge to crossdress (again, not all). For this forum to censor such sentiment would not only be a disservice to the CDs that post here, but it would also be a disservice for the GGs/SOs that come here to try and gain an understanding of what motivates CDs to do what they do.

I am prepared for the flaming...let her rip!

Morgan

No flaming here although I did have to go back and pick up parts of your post to quote here. You make valid points the main one of which is that exclussion of certain discussions does no one any service. The question came up and deserves honest response, including the one you are responding to.

If you are in a relationship, you have no real business stepping out of it. However, if you have a modified relationship that allows for others to be part of it, or you are single, the question is still valid and should be looked at by yourself, at least, if by no one else.

I stepped out once because my second wife yelled at me to "get soemone who wants you." She clearly had lost that interest in me. The cost was excessive imo. I took a good friendship and tried to take it somewhere else. I was incredibly male-type stupid and I lost a dear friend. Before anyone asks, that was another young woman - not a male. I mention it to point out the validity of my earlier statement about being in an existing relationship.


I am pretty new at CDing. I don't know where it will lead, but for now I still like women. But some of the members look like they could certainly change my mind.

More than a few of those I have met in person would make me re-consider that also except that since they are in relationships, I would not even think of inserting myself between them and their partners. That would be wrong and I really do NOT want to be "the other woman" in anyones life.


girls,
let's think this one out. really................
i think that the only time we would want to be with a guy is when we have had srs and are totally transformed. otherwise, wouldn't we be gay or lesbian?
i am in the process of transformation and when i am finished, i will have and want delightful sex with a man. because that is what women do............ please their partners.
as a man, i rarely got satisfied because my SO was not into sex. i am starving for affection and plan on satisfying my man and he will satisfy his woman. ( me ).
i think this whole experience is terrific and i can't wait until i'm finished.
any replys are welcomed.
geri danielle

You go girl and more power to you!!!

[Rosaliy Lynne]

You know, I really don't know!!

I think I am. But it changes everyday.

Recently, my inclination has been toward complete male...but I cannot shake the feeling that I was born the way I was for a reason.

Your question raises so many issues for me.

1- Is there life after death?
Many believe so. Many Christians believe in Heaven and Hell. Many Hindus believe in reincarnation. Are they one? For me, heaven would be being re-born as a female, or at least a male without duality. Sometimes I wonder if I was female in a former life and that I cannot let go of it. Other times I think I am simply crazy!!! Who knows...not me.

2- Would I become female...damn the consequences??
No. I couldn't now...but there was a time that I would have. Many times in my life, I have found myself wanting exactly that. I am married now, and I cannot even imagine what my wife would think if I told her I want to be a woman. How do you deal with that?? More importantly...why should she have too? It is not possible...it is only my imagination...so why put her through it? Perhaps I can one day tell her that I like to dress as a female...but not now.

3- Am I a Transexual?
I have always thought that someone that was actually Transexual was someone that not only felt they were born in the wrong body (TG), but did something about it (hormones at least, possibly SRS).

I know this...

I am me...and me is two people...my male self and Morgan. I live every day in a constant struggle over who gets control. Most days it is me, unfortunately, because I feel she has more worth than I do. But I cannot deny that I like my life as a whole. What does this make me??? A freak? Certainly. A liar...almost certainly. Insane...perhaps. Dual personality? Maybe. I have no idea. I just wake up when the clock goes off. If it is a work day, I put on a suit, a male suit...and I go. If it isn't, and my wife is not home, I put on a dress and makeup. What more is there to say?? There is little I can do about any of it. I am torn down the middle. I am Morgan, I am my male self...I am both.

But I am okay with it.

And it is all I can do right now.

Morgan <----and her male self.

I know well where you are coming from although I do not struggle with who is in control. I am me - Rosaliy. He, the one on whom Rosaliy was built, is as essential to ME as Rosaliy is and yet, Rosaliy is really who I am. I have learned that I am neither bad, perverted or alone. There are many sisters out there who are a lot like me, and who are way different from me.

2: SRS would be the wrong choice for me as I KNOW it would upset the balance of THIS WHOLE person.

1: I believe in life after death. The jury is still out on reincarnation.

3: I am not but I do believe that someone who really is internally at variance with their outward gender appearance IS just that and needs to do something to reduce or remove the tension that trying to be one thing as perceived, causes them, while preventing their being WHO THEY ARE.

[BarbaraTalbot]

With all that said, burying your head in the sand does not erase the issues that surround Transgenderism. To exclude those that have these desires is not going to present a proper representation of what the TG community is really all about.

This issue is not something that needs to be swept under the rug. For many, it is the cornerstone of why they feel the urge to crossdress (again, not all).

I am prepared for the flaming...let her rip!


I have no intention of flaming you , you masochistic...er wait..take that back...:)

You correctly use the term transgenderism (the larger umbrella) as opposed to transsexualism (the feeling of being a girl in boy's body to over-simplify the point)

I agree that there are many crossdressers that from their posts I surmise that being with a guy if not the cornerstone of their interest in Cd-ing, it is certainly an important component of their experience.

The issue I see as misleading about a lot (but not even most) of the posts here on this subject is the apparent confusion between issues with gender identity and issues with or simply different sexual orientation. One COULD have both issues, and some do. Posts that state that they are attracted to men while dressed and that they have zero attraction when not, are demonstrating a rejection consciously of what is I submit a latent homosexual tendency. I see people mimicking all the attributes of someone with full transsexual feelings and issues, then reporting that these feelings come and go depending on clothingone wears or the gender of one's companion. I know we are all different, but I can't believe a qualified psychologist with gender identity expertise would not tell that person that their primary issue is orientation, not GID.

I have seen exactly one member express only interest in men and never women whether dressed or not. I believe he is in a committed relationship and that his partner (a man obviously) is aware of his dressing, but it is not something that his partner finds particularly appealing. (And I wish he'd pipe up here, because I am sincerely interested in what he thinks of this miracle conversion when dressed). In the post of his I am thinking of he expressed some feelings of isolation because so many claim a straight orientation.

Here is the thing about CD-ing and same sex attraction. Who are the men one involves oneself with if one has these feelings? Another CD kind of at least makes sense to me, because we do love the girl in the mirror. If one wants to involve yourself with straight men, what's the point? If they want to be with you, they aren't straight but in fact a little afraid of their own latent feelings. If one wants to attract gay men (who I would think would have good insight into the mechanics of same gender intimacy)..you would be using the wrong bait so to speak.

I recall one member that said he only likes men as men and only when dressed, and only likes woman as women when in drab. He even went so far as to say he would find a trans-man unappealing because women need to be femme for him to be interested. Seems pretty specific for an open-minded person.

[BarbaraTalbot]

girls,
i think that the only time we would want to be with a guy is when we have had srs and are totally transformed. .................
i am in the process of transformation and when i am finished, i will have and want delightful sex with a man.............
i think this whole experience is terrific and i can't wait until i'm finished.


In this case, if you can picture yourself with a man, and that is your long-term hearts desire, I see no reason for you to wait specifically till you are "finished" I read an excellent sticky in the transmasculine area about dating a transman and it is really relevant here if you just flip pronouns and such. I could see if you are uncomfortable yourself with your body as it is, it would require some sensitivity on the part of you partner, but I can't see why this is a insurmountable stumbling block.

[GACountrygal]

Let me tell yall this. And I am not going into details. But my SO and I are in a SERIOUS rift because of things that can be related to this whole thread. I dont know why I even bother to post this, but maybe it will help those who think threads like these belong in the open to members and guests forum.

Seeing this makes me want to run, hide, and reject everything I believe. Its way to sexual for the open board. If I had come to this forum because of the "rift" we're in looking for information and help, I can tell you, it wouldnt be pretty for me, my SO, or the whole family. I'd be devastated.

[EllenCD]

I cherish the company of men that appreciate the effort that goes into creating the Feminine Mystique of a beautiful woman. To be admired and treated as a Lady in every way makes the effort worthwhile.

[annekathleen]

We ALL share a common interest, "crossdressing" : but we have to respect each other for the reasons why each one of us individually chooses to engage in this activity. There are crossdressers who are straight, bi, and or gay. I'm O.K. with that. There are crossdressers who are married, single, or divorced. I'm O.K. with that. Some of us engage in different degrees of crossdressing, whether you are the guy who wears panties under your everyday clothing, to those who dress up completely and actually go out in public. I enjoy my crossdressing activities, whether it's just dressing up, or becoming curious about whatever you want to be curious about. We are a very diversified group of people, let's just respect each other for what ever our individual choices may be.

[phyllis47]

I Fantasize About It But Only As Phyllis.... I Am Not Totally Sure But I Think I Would Try It If The Opportunity Came Up. I Went Out For The First Time Last Weekend And Thought If A Guy Came Up To Me I Would See Where It Would Lead...

[Jamie001]

This is a very bad thread and I am really sorry that this thread is here on this site. I was thinking of inviting my wife to this site, but after seeing this thread, I think not. This thread could really cause some problems for SO and cause them to think that most CDs are bisexual. Unfortunately it is a conclusion that the uninformed could jump to. Is it possible to keep these kind of threads off this site?

[VanTG]

It's fantasy of mins and would love to try it, only en femme and under the right circumstances:heehee:

[SatinDoll00]

This is a very bad thread and I am really sorry that this thread is here on this site. I was thinking of inviting my wife to this site, but after seeing this thread, I think not. This thread could really cause some problems for SO and cause them to think that most CDs are bisexual. Unfortunately it is a conclusion that the uninformed could jump to. Is it possible to keep these kind of threads off this site?

Sure it is possible to keep "these kinds of threads" off the site.

What else should we keep off the site?

Should everyone that is not married be barred? What about those that are married but have not told their SOs?? Should we be banned??

Where do you draw the line? There is nothing sexually explicit being discussed here...merely another point of view. Is that really so scary?? Has the world really gotten so uptight that we cannot merely read someone else's opinions without fear?? Sounds a bit too much like a certain regime about 60 years ago involving a man with a little mustache to me.

Perhaps we can have all references of homosexuality removed from the local libraries as well.

It saddness me to think that someone can come to site for Crossdressers (an alternative lifestyle) and have to hide their feelings about their lifestyle because a certain section of the public feels what they are doing is disgusting and don't want to read about it.

Can you not see the duality in any of this???

I cannot say anymore on this subject...I really can't. I don't know how to make it any more clear. Those that seek acceptance for CDing, and those that give it, should not be so quick to judge those that practice any other alternative lifestyle.

For what it is worth...I promise...I will take my opinions on this subject elsewhere. SOMEWHERE on the net there has to be a forum that is accepting of everyone...even if they are different.

Morgan

PS - PLEASE NOTE...I WAS NOT THE ONE THAT STARTED THIS THREAD.

[Jamie001]

Morgan and others,

I don't have any issue with alternative lifestyles. Being a CD, that would be like the pot calling the kettle black. On the other hand, the issue is married men that CD wanting to have a sexual relationship with another man or another CD, or another woman either because they are curious or because their wife doesn't accept them. Infidelity is the problem! Wives and other GGs that come to this site after discovering that their husband is a CD will see these threads and unfortunately will get the idea that married CDs are dissatisfied with their wives and that part of the reason for their CDing is that they are seeking another sexual relationship. Unfortunately this perception will be the result. There are many CDs like myself that are completely faithful to their wives and would never consider cheating on them.

It wouldn't matter if this site was about bowling rather than CDing. In that case if men that are bowlers post a lot of threads about infidelity, would you really want your wife to read the threads on the bowling site?

I have no problems or issues with single men discussing fantasies of relationships with other CDs, women, or men. That is not the issue. The issue is infidelity and the possibility of CDs getting a reputation for infidelity that will freak out their wives and SOs.

Please accept my apologies if I said anything that offended you as that was not my intention. I was simply venting because I was considering bringing my wife to this site and now I am having second thoughts when I see these infidelity threads. Maybe I'm being unrealistic, but I am expression how I feel.

:hugs: Jamie

[SatinDoll00]

Infidelity is the problem! Wives and other GGs that come to this site after discovering that their husband is a CD will see these threads and unfortunately will get the idea that married CDs are dissatisfied with their wives and that part of the reason for their CDing is that they are seeking another sexual relationship. .

:hugs: Jamie

What makes you believe that everyone here is married?? Also, where in any thread have I condoned infidelity??!!

You have to learn to separate the two issues. And anyone that comes to a site like this and reads "it is okay to be bi or gay" as "it is okay to cheat on your wife" is misinterpreting what is being said. For that matter...I can go anywhere and read anything and pull the wrong message from it...if I choose.


Morgan

[Satrana]

Originally Posted by Veronica Fallon

Then... I read the posts from our GG's & was immediately reminded of what I consider to be the highest value of this forum- the enlightenment of the general public, with hopes of gradually diminishing the plague of ignorance & bigotry in our primitive society.
If the highest value of this forum is enlightenment then why are you suggesting that a factual element of crossdressing, that many CDs fantasize and become bi-curious, be swept under the carpet in a private section. Enlightenment comes from knowing all the facts, not just the safe ones that will not offend anyone. To hid this fact is to continue to promote ignorance.


It would pain me to find out that an otherwise accepting S/O was forever tainted against crossdressing by this thread feeding her fears instead of diminishing them. It would pain me that an otherwise accepting SO would not take the time to read many threads in this forum and realize that 99&#37; of them have nothing to do with gay/bi-sexual themes, in fact they are almost entirely heterosexual in nature so reassuring her that heterosexual CDs are predominant.

CDs spend a lifetime presenting a false facade that they are normal men. CDs do this because of others' ignorance and prejudice. Now we have to create another false facade that we are all throughly 100% heterosexual. What is the point of stepping out of one closet only to walk straight into another?

[kayla_cd_va]

I don't understand why so many crossdressers are unaccepting of other crossdressers who enjoy sex with men. If you don't that's fine but some of us do. Let's be open to all so we can learn and understand.

kisses

Kayla

[Forum Admin]

This thread has gone off topic and as the thread starter has not posted in it since she started it, it is being closed.