What have I done???

[SatinDoll00]

Today was ... well, er...strange...

I went to Wal-Mart...en femme.

There, I shopped for concealer...which I found.

While in the cosmetics dept, I ran into someone I know! He did not recognize me at first, but came up behind and said "I cannot believe you are a crossdresser..."and called me by my male name.

I almost PISSED myself.

I turned around to find it was a gay friend of mine. He hugged me and told me that was proud of me.

Needless to say, I was beyond freaked out here. I stood there looking at him as if he had three heads, and he was all smiles. He says to me "Girl, you can do better than this...what is with that top?"

I didn't know what to say.

The Wal-Mart here is across from a bar, so he said..."let's go to the Ale House and talk sweetie"...so we did, after I bought my concealer through the self checkout.

Anyway, we go over to the bar and walk right in. It is early, and still daylight. I ask him, " are you sure you want to go out with me like this?". he responded..."god yeah!".

So, we enter the Ale House...he puts his arm around me and we walk in. The hostess greets us and asks us if we want smoking or non. I don't smoke but he does, so he says "up to the lady". I say "non" in my best fem voice and the hostess takes us to a table.

We sit down and a waitress comes. She asks us what we would like to drink, and does not seem to notice that I am a man...or at least she doesn’t say so. He orders a Cosmo (fruitcake!!) and I order a Harpoon IPA. The waitress leaves.

He asks me..."okay...how long has THIS been going on?"

I explain that I have been CDing since 4, and that I have recently decided that I am ready to go out. He tells me that he suspected something years ago, but didn't know what it was (lies:) ). He was once an employee of mine, and we were good friends a while back but had lost touch. He told me that I look good as a girl, and asked if I was still married. Well...I had to explain the divorce and re-marriage thing. His response was "damn girl, why did you do that??" I told him I didn't know, but that I was happy with her. The drinks came. We chit chatted about this and that (work stuff mostly) and downed a couple of drinks. The waitress came and asked if we were ready to order. Personally, I am on a MAJOR diet, so I ordered a salad. He told the waitress not to listen to me, that he loved me at my current size, and ordered some appetizers followed by a greek pizza. He looked at me and said "you shut up...you love olives" :) I do.

Anyway...between ordering and the food, we started talking for real. He was blown away by the fact that I CD, and told me that he used to do the same. He was a "sissy maid" for a woman for about 6 months, and told me how much he enjoyed being enfemme. I explained that I thought I wanted to be a woman, and he told me that he knew many Gurls that are transitioning. I asked him what he thought about my look, and he told me that he didn't realize I was who I was until he got a good look at my face, and even then he had to look twice. He said that if he didn't know that I would have passed. He said that my wig was a bit long for my age...but that I looked 5 years younger as a fem. I told him thank you!

The food came and we ate. I asked him what he was up to these days dating-wise and he told that he was single. He also told me that back when he worked for me that he always thought of me as hot, and now he thought that I was VERY HOT!

YIKES!!

I told him that I was married and not really looking. He brought up an interesting point that I was out dressed while married. I explained that I was out to prove that I could pass. He told me that I passed, but that didn't matter, that he wanted to be with me!!

Okay, so now I am officially freaked out!! The conversation turned to other things, and we finished eating. We walked out together and he walked me to my car. He told me that I looked great and would like to go out again. I told him that I was married, and he said..."what? Two old friends can't go out for a drink?"

I guess something in me snapped, but I kissed him, and he kissed me back.

I left the bar feeling guilty and confused. What did I do?? Things have gone beyond where I wanted them to go. Now I am out...but I am also OUT!!!

What do I do? Should I see him again? Should I forget it? Should I give up CDing and go back to man-life??

What happens if he starts to talk to people we both know?
guess this is my D-Day. I have to decide what to do. Do I go back to regular life, do I tell my wife? Do I give up my marriage? Do I lead two lifes?? [/COLOR]

This is NOT WHAT I WANTED AT ALL!!

Gurls and Girls...seriously...no more in-fighting on my behalf...things have gotten 1000% more complicated!!!

HELP!!!

Morgan

[AmberTG]

Well Now!!! I'm thinking that "complicated" might be a bit weak to describe this situation!
On the one hand, I really admire your courage to go back out there and do it again! By the way, that's a great story! I just had to laugh about the situation. It did get complicated at the end though, didn't it.
I guess the first thing you would have to do is decide if you want to stay married. Something like this has the potential to end a marriage. Sometimes, just the CDing can end a marriage and when you add other things to the mix...well you get the picture.
One thing I can tell you from all the experience here is that you very likely won't be able to quit CDing entirely, but I'm guessing you already know that, especially now that you've been out in public. You've let the fem out of the bag, it's hard to catch it, much less stuff it back in the bag. That pandora's box thing.
So, my first suggestion would be to decide if you want to stay married. You'll have some idea what to next after you figure that out.

[sterling12]

I'm impressed! Quite a 180 degree turn from some of the other threads of the past week. I THINK most of your observations were positive. A. nobody screamed, "look at The Trannie," in either Walmart or the Eatery. B. You met an old friend and renewed a friendship. C. he was impressed with your looks, didn't hassle you about being CD, and wants to continue your friendship. D. You were inspired by Rita's Thread, and actually went and did something to further The Cause. Sounds like a Big Day to me.

I wouldn't worry about being "outed," by your friend. Pretty sure he knows what that feels like, and how painful. I'm also pretty sure that you will find it impossible to backtrack and return to The Shadows. Once out; it's almost always so exhilarating, just about impossible to go back.

Now all you have to deal with is your possible flirtation with bisexuality. Could be wrong, but I read Possible Romance! Kissing him, probably sent signals to the both of you. If you "don't want to go there," better let him know very quickly.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[noname]

SatinDoll00,

I am so sorry things have gone this way. It's really not supposed to go like this. Really it isn't. Going out really isn't at bad as it's been for you. I think you've had about the worst that could happen.

As for your old friend, I recommend you not meet up. I assume your strait? Being strait myself I could not meetup with another guy with interest. Thing is if you get involved or hang out as friend, he could use your cd'ing as ammo in the future. As for the kiss, forget about it. People often do things they normally would not do when they are in an awkward sitution or feeling trapped.

Things will get better. Have you thought about going out but not as an all-out-femme?

[SatinDoll00]

I cannot decide what to do. I have been with a man before, and it was dressed. I can see myself having sex with this guy, but I cannot see myself getting serious with him. At the same time, I really do love my wife. I would miss her terribly if we split up. I guess this is where I need a good thearpist!! I am torn right down the middle...am I male or female with male parts?

Morgan

[vivianann]

What ever you do, dont stop dressing, especially going out enfeme. since you pass well keep going out, it will build your confidence. As for your marriage, if you have a good marriage, hang on to it, you better hope no one saw you kissing your friend, what ever you do, please do not cheat on your wife, especially with another man. If you do it will cause severe heartache. Please be careful sweethart. I know you are struggling since you kissed him, and you probably regret it, that may remind you to not do that again, I hope that you never do that again while you are still married. Do you have feelings for that friend now? anyway good luck, and let us know how things go.
your friend Vivian

[SatinDoll00]

...I don't have any feelings for him...but I was very flattered and turned on. Is that bad?? Coming off of what I came off of, I sort of considered it a compliment. I would not leave my wife for this guy, but I could see me leaving her to be me...if that makes sense.

It has been a confusing 3 days.

I need a drink!!

Morgan

[AmberTG]

Well, maybe you should start a dialog with your wife to test her response to the crossdressing in general, it could work out ok, or it could blow up in your face. That's the bad part, you don't know which way it's gonna go.

[NewBetty]

SatinDoll,
You sure are having an intense week.
You asked "do I tell my wife?"
I would say: yes. You said you love her, I hope that means you have a good relationship and are best friends. You said you see no future longterm relationship with this guy, and you're clearly going through a very wild ride in your life right now. My gut reaction is: keep your SO in the loop... this would seem (to me) like a bad time to try to hide things from your best friend.

[vivianann]

I understand, I know what happened that day can be a very moving experience, that would be nice to have a friend understand and be very encouraging of your crossdressing. I am leaving my wife because she is not a good wife, and 2, I am going to start living full time as a woman, because that is what I need to do, to be me.

[SatinDoll00]

I understand, I know what happened that day can be a very moving experience, that would be nice to have a friend understand and be very encouraging of your crossdressing. I am leaving my wife because she is not a good wife, and 2, I am going to start living full time as a woman, because that is what I need to do, to be me.


I have thought about it before...I am thinking about it more now. I could be who I am more than not. Is that a bad thing??

I love my wife, but I think I love being my fem side even more. If I could, I would go back in time to before we were involved, so as not to hurt her, and follow my path as a CD.

God, this has all gotten TERRIBLY complicated!!

I need a drink...and a SHRINK!

Morgan

[TG-Taru]

I feel, currently at least, about same as you with my sexuality. Sex either way is a possibility, but can't see myself in a serious relationship with a guy. So if you couldn't be serious with him and he would be with you, not fair. You love your wife and wish to stay with her? If she wouldn't approve a fling and risk losing you to the other side, forget it. Would you be willing to cheat on your wife or would she approve you exploring? If you found you needed to transition further, would you both want to stay together? Is it just being wanted as female, do you really need that, and would you get that from your wife? (Besides, would a gay guy wanting you as a cd really be appealing to you?)

If it was me, I'd tell him that I couldn't cheat on my wife and continue to be just friends. Perhaps also that it couldn't get serious on my part, it would be about me, not him, and wouldn't be worth the price. You must come to your own conclusions and decision.

But seems the thread has already gone past that to who are you going to be, and can you be that with your wife? Don't just assume you can't. Talk with her honestly, think about what it would mean in practical terms in your lives, what would be acceptable and even good for you both. What you need most, what will be enough, what she needs and what will be enough, what are you both willing to live with, that it's worth it. But do talk if you value eachother, don't make conclusions for eachother and act on them without talking it through. Don't forget to tell how you feel about her, don't just talk about yourself.

My :2c:, hope it was worth something to you.

[MsJanessa]

I have thought about it before...I am thinking about it more now. I could be who I am more than not. Is that a bad thing??

I love my wife, but I think I love being my fem side even more. If I could, I would go back in time to before we were involved, so as not to hurt her, and follow my path as a CD.

God, this has all gotten TERRIBLY complicated!!

I need a drink...and a SHRINK!

Morgan

no honey it's not a bad thing but it is very human thing---Married people, whether they are GGs, TGs or guys have those feelings of temptation all the time---many feel very strongly about sexual fidelity and therefor don't give into temptation. Others, to quote Oscar Wilde, "Can resist anything but temptation." You will probably get all kinds of advice ranging from "Don't do it you are married and its a sin" to "Go for it you only go through life once" Still others will urge you to tell your SO about your xding but just beware it is not them who will have to bear the consequences of that disclosure but you. And only you can decide what is right and wrong for you under the unique circumstance of your situation---I think your comment that a drink and a shrink are in order is spot on---you would probably feel better if you had discussed this with a professional or at least a friend who knows about your cding. Your gay friend is probably not the one who you should be discussing this with as it seems that he has an agenda that goes beyond your best interest. He obviously is attracted to you and wants to have a sexual relationship---nothing wrong with that except he would be inclined to give you advice towards that end--you should discuss the matter with a neutral person----what ever you decide, good luck and congratulations on passing in your second outing. PS you should listen to your gay friend on clothing, hair and make up advice---sounds like he knows a thing or two in that department

[Jannis]

Dear SD, I know your feelings and am experiencing the same thing. I have been CDing for 30 years or more. I am married to a wonderful girl but she is not sexual at all. Since I retired and have time on my hands, I have become engrossed in CD pleasures. I have two men pursuing me and have had others in the past make love to me as a woman. I have been going out dressed for a while and a number of people know about this(hairdresser, sales manager at clothing store,etc.) I usually do this when either my wife or I are on vacation. We do take separate vacations. The rest of the time I just fantasize or dream of new adventures. I really wish I could do this full time but that would end my marriage. SInce I am retired and a divorce would leave me in a bad situation financially as well as with the rest of my family isolating me, I prefer to keep it on the down low for now. I have a hard time dealing with infidelity, but rationalize that it is Jannis and not me cheating. I know these feelings will never go away so I may have to eliminate the internet from my life as this is my primary way of locating adventures and try to develop some other intersts that occupy my mind and time. At any rate, this double life is hard but the consequences of splitting up are worse. I do hope this gives another perspective and we both may realize this needs to step back and take personal inventory and determine what is the best for everyone. Good luck and Kisses, Jannis

[Emily Ann Brown]

WELL.......I thought my life got weird at times.


Way to go on getting back on the horse. I'm proud of ya sis.


Nobody ever wants my opinion, but I'm famous for giving it anyway. Go have a date with your wife. Give yourself a chance to remember what she means to you and get your bearings before you do ANYTHING else. You have about every emotion on the planet all in play at once sis. You need to evaluate them one at a time. Do you love your wife? Do you want to stay married? Do you want to follow your CD feelings (think you already know that one pretty well)? Can you live with what comes when you share your secret with her? Do you want to be more than a CD? The answer to one probably will help you answer the next one.

As far as a gay friend outting you? I doubt it, unless you lead him on and he feels that he has to out you to have you (men do some really stupid things for sex sometimes). Seeing him again for now is only gonna hinder you honestly answering all the above questions. Tell him flatly that you have issues that need answers and you need space while you sort things out.

On the positive side, when you write the screenplay of this chapter of your life it will make you rich (oopsies, I mean your wife rich).

Emily Ann

[Ema1234 GG]

I'm really not the best person to advise you on your other problems but there is one point I would like to bring up, and I'm doing this as a GG and trying to put myself in your wife's position.

You say you're worried he may talk to people you know. Does he also know your wife, or know people who know your wife? Can you actually be sure that he won't talk and that this won't get back to your wife.

If you can be sure, then it's up to you. I'm not going to say my part about whether I agree or disagree, that's up to you to decide.

But think about how hurt your wife would be if she was told about this from someone else? Not only that you CD but that you kissed somebody else. As much as it may hurt her coming from you, would it not hurt her even more coming from someone else?

Only you know your situation and so only you can tell yourself the answer, but perhaps it's something you may want to think about.

[Stephenie S]

I have thought about it before...I am thinking about it more now. I could be who I am more than not. Is that a bad thing??

I love my wife, but I think I love being my fem side even more. If I could, I would go back in time to before we were involved, so as not to hurt her, and follow my path as a CD.

God, this has all gotten TERRIBLY complicated!!

I need a drink...and a SHRINK!

Morgan

Dear Morgan,

I don't thnink this is complicated at all. I think it's very simple.

Do you want to stay married? Really! Answer that question first.

OK, if you do, and you say you love her, then forget about this. Never, never, ever, mention this again. Marriage is a commitment. As long as you want to stay married, you are commited to this woman. I would not run confessing to her. Are you nuts? No. Don't ever mention it. But also, don't EVER let this happen again. You f****d up, big time. Don't dwell on it, don't even think about it. Just make damn sure it never happens again. If you see this person again, do not resume your relationship. There is absolutely NO future with this other guy, dear. He came on to you. He came on to you in a bar, and then he kissed you. Is this the kind of man you want in your life? If he did it with you, he will do it with someone else, depend on that sweetie. You can take that to the bank.

If you want to start a new life as a gay man, as a woman, or as whatever, continue with your promiscuous behavior. But if you want to stay married, STOP! And pray she never finds out about this.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[celtic.blue.eyes]

...I don't have any feelings for him...but I was very flattered and turned on. Is that bad?? Coming off of what I came off of, I sort of considered it a compliment. I would not leave my wife for this guy, but I could see me leaving her to be me...if that makes sense.

It has been a confusing 3 days.

I need a drink!!

Morgan

Every woman likes to be perceived as attractive. This is just your feminine side being tickled. That's perfectly normal. But to follow through with an affair is highly questionable. Not only is it just not right, you really have to ask yourself how such actions will affect your self respect. Your answer to that will reveal a lot about you and your character. Choose wisely!

[SatinDoll00]

Well, I had all night to think about it and I really, really, appreciate everyone's advice. I have decided that I do love my wife and that yesterday was a big mistake. It was only a kiss and didn't go any further than that, so I am going to just forget it ever happened and move on. I am going to talk to my friend and smooth things over. I think he will be cool with it. Thing is, he doesn't know my wife or anyone that she knows, so I have only to worry about him telling people that I rarely, if ever, see.

I don't think I can live a double life, but I also don't think I can give up being who I am. I managed to get very wrapped up in things over the last few days. Not that it was a bad thing, but I can see how it could have been!

I do want to apologize to anyone here that was offended or put off by my posts over the last few days. For the first time in my life I am expressing my fem side outside of my own home. Scary as it sounds, I will look back on it and remember it fondly...except for the comments of the two at the shoe store.

My CDing is a part of who I am, but it is not worth loosing my marriage and everything I have built with my wife. Now don't take this as I am giving up...I'm not. I have decided to sort of tone it down for a while though. Everything that happened yesterday gave me a chance to put some things into perspective.

So, with that said...I again apologize to anyone offended, and I really do appreciate the support you have all given me.

Thanks,
Morgan

[Emily Ann Brown]

:hugs:


Emily Ann

[vivianann]

I am not offended, just worried for you, and your wife.

[Wendy me]

YIKES!!

I told him that I was married and not really looking. He brought up an interesting point that I was out dressed while married. I explained that I was out to prove that I could pass. He told me that I passed, but that didn't matter, that he wanted to be with me!!



how abought saying no and sticking to it....????.....




Okay, so now I am officially freaked out!! The conversation turned to other things, and we finished eating. We walked out together and he walked me to my car. He told me that I looked great and would like to go out again. I told him that I was married, and he said..."what? Two old friends can't go out for a drink?"

I guess something in me snapped, but I kissed him, and he kissed me back.

ok you kissed him.... after he told you he wanted to be with you???... rember the wife back home???? you were wrong big time .....






I left the bar feeling guilty and confused. What did I do?? Things have gone beyond where I wanted them to go. Now I am out...but I am also OUT!!!

What do I do? Should I see him again? Should I forget it? Should I give up CDing and go back to man-life??

all in your next move .... i say your wrong for leading him on....



What happens if he starts to talk to people we both know?
guess this is my D-Day. I have to decide what to do. Do I go back to regular life, do I tell my wife? Do I give up my marriage? Do I lead two lifes?? [/COLOR]


very nice after the fact we think ... this could change things big time not only for you ... not only for him and what the hell were you thinking abought your wife and what she will feel .... how dose it change her life???





This is NOT WHAT I WANTED AT ALL!!

all too often we act without thinking .... there were many times when this was going on that you had the chance to stop or change this ..... simply you did not .... sorry for you i have no pitty as for the pawns in your game of "I DON'T THINK" i hope that things turn out ok for them ........ when you say i do and slip on that ring .... live becomes a "HUGE WE.....AND NOT ME"........

[BarbaraTalbot]

my first thought was wow, you now have someone to help with your look. Dee said its kinda like queer-eye for the CD guy.

It sure went sureal quick. Could see how confusing that could be. Glad you got your head aroundthings and got perspective.

good luck with it all.

[Robin Leigh]

Hello SatinDoll,

That's the thing about going out en femme. The world is a big place and Stuff Happens that we weren't expecting.

So you got caught up in the experience of being en femme in public. Big deal. We can only learn certain things about ourselves (and our fantasies) by experience.

I think you're allowed to kiss an old friend goodbye without it being classed as an act of infidelity. Sure, you were en femme, and your whole experience was supercharged with Pink Fog, but you had no intention of sleeping with the guy, and you weren't trying to lead him on. I think a kiss is quite acceptable in that situation, but it's a dilemma women have had to face since time immemorial. :giggle:

Your wife does need to know you CD. You're not going to be able to keep it hidden from her for much longer, at the rate you're going. The sooner you tell her, the easier it will be. But I don't think she needs to know the details of this little incident straight away. Let her learn a bit about your femme side first.

BTW, I think your friend was a bit tacky hitting on you in the department store. He should have been more discreet, and just exchanged phone numbers or something , not dragged you into the Ale House (but maybe I'm just an old-fashioned kinda gal :)).

:hugs:

Robin

[SatinDoll00]

Okay...he and I talked on the phone for while today. He was MUCH cooler with me giving him the 'I am married' speech than I expected. . He told me that he knew that I was and that he respected that. I also told me that he had the hots for me back when he worked for me and that seeing me out en femme was really cool! He is not holding any grudges and said that he will always be my friend no matter what! He also was a little miffed that I thought he might out me. He assured me, and I really believe him, that he would never do that.

Turns out, I have re-kindled an old friendship, on a new level, without it going to a place it shouldn't go. As I type this, I cannot see myself being attracted to any man at all...but I am not en femme today. Strange how my mind (and others) changes when we are en femme.

I am pretty at peace with everything at the moment, and I am just sort of laying a little low today.

On a side note...the whole wearing a bra all day under your man clothes thing sorta sucks. I have done it before, but not all day. This thing is coming off soon!!

:)

Morgan

[Ashley Lynn Swift]

congrats on going out again, i know both experences kindof sucked for you in the fact that you were read and outted, and it sounds like you have a good friend,
but please leave the bottle out of this no good can come from drinking to relieve the preasure and stress of the situation.
god that was weird its usually my job to push the booze being a bartender and server in an alchol restraunt, no matter it is what i believe

[Sheri 4242]

how abought saying no and sticking to it....????.....

... rember the wife back home???? you were wrong big time .....

all too often we act without thinking .... there were many times when this was going on that you had the chance to stop or change this ..... simply you did not .... sorry for you i have no pitty as for the pawns in your game of "I DON'T THINK" i hope that things turn out ok for them ........ when you say i do and slip on that ring .... live becomes a "HUGE WE.....AND NOT ME"........

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Thanks, Wendy!!! Very well said!!! I hope I don't cross any lines by saying this, but this is a time when thinking was transfered to the wrong head, regardless of the statement that it wasn't going to go farther.

Maybe I'm too sensitive about adultery! My wife feels the same as I do b/c we've both been victims -- victims of one of the single-most personal betrayals there is!!! Psychologists put it in the same category as death of a spouse or a dear loved one in its effects on a victim, the sad thing being that it actually doesn't kill you!!!! (Diane Lane's character said the same thing in Under the Tuscan Sun, and it IS a truism if there ever was one!!!!!!!) Maybe it did stop at a kiss, but in my book it was still being unfaithful -- and anything that detracts from your love bank for your spouse is plainly wrong!!! Morgan now says she has a new perspective and doesn't want to "go there." Well, let the wife go out of town, go have one too many at the ale house with this re-kindled friendship, and who knows where things will lead?!!!

When you say "I Do" and put that ring on your finger you should, IMHO, never place yourself in a position of failure to live up to your vows!!! A good "rule of thumb" is to ask yourself, "Would I act this way (or be doing this) if my wife was standing right beside me???" If the answer is, "no!!!," then don't place yourself in that position to begin with!!!!!!!

[noname]

I cannot decide what to do. I have been with a man before, and it was dressed. I can see myself having sex with this guy, but I cannot see myself getting serious with him. At the same time, I really do love my wife. I would miss her terribly if we split up. I guess this is where I need a good thearpist!! I am torn right down the middle...am I male or female with male parts?

Morgan

Best advice I can give you is to think long term. Do what you feel is best for you in the long term. Did I mention long term?

[Michelle 51]

Satindoll those are classic guy lines to get in a girls p---ts.I always liked you 'your so sexy'you look so great'and so on and so on'Get the picture He's playing you.You have to decide if you want to play.Do you like your life as it is or do you want to turn it upside down.He's got you nibbling the bait.Do you want to swallow or spit it out.Yes those words have a double meaning.Good luck dear either way justabit

[Marcie Sexton]

I assume you have a good marriage and a loving and understanding wife, not to mention supportative...IF you want to keep all those things, and trust me the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence, THEN I suggest you regain some control and let things cool off...

Let this be a learning experience...But this again is only my opinion...

No matter what be honest with yourself and those you love and care about...I wouldn't suggest revealing my soul to my wife or trying to explain what I done, but I would refrain from future exploits involving a potiential lover or partner...

[SatinDoll00]

I have read the replies, and for the most part...I agree. I should not be doing anything that would be outside the bounds of my marriage. My wife is very understanding, but not enough so that I should tell her what happened. In my opinion, it didn't go far enough to constitute that. If my wife had met an old friend, male or female, for a drink and there was a kiss at the end, and that was it...I think I would not want to know about it, unless of course there was going to be more to come...which there isn't!

I kind of let myself get wrapped up in the fem thing this week, and while there is nothing wrong with THAT, it doesn't mean there wasn't anything wrong with where it was headed.

Mistake to go out?? I don't think so. Mistake to let it get out of hand?? Yes.

Also...

Toyah...you posted that my story made you want to stay in the closet. I really did not mean to have that impact on you or anyone else. The truth of the matter is, if I NEVER go out again, I will always remember the exhileration of being out dressed...whether I passed or not. I will always remember trying on those shoes!

I am not letting any of the negative things that happened put me off CDing. I can honestly say that if I had it to do over again, that it would be different...but it would still happen. I would have still gone out both days!

Morgan

[Mitch23]

If everything went exactly according to plan every time then there would be no 'growth'. Satindoll, you've had more than your fair share of interesting moments - I bet you are wiser and stronger because of them!

love to you and your wife

Mitch

[TxKimberly]

I myself am not the "touchy feely" sort of person when it comes to non-family. Except for my wife and children, who I hug every chance I get, I'm a lot more likely to shake your hand regardless of if I am in male or female mode. Now having said that, I think it is reasonably common for friends to hug each other, and male/female friends to even give a peck on the cheek. If this all that happened, I don't think you have much to worry about. Now if y'all lip locked each other, and your married, that's another matter entirely.

[danam]

Good job. The only way to find happiness in life is to exercise some discipline and keep a clear focus on the really important stuff, and not get distracted by the little temptations. That is part of life.

That being said, I'm not sure it is necessary to tell your SO about everything that is going on in your head. Sometimes private thoughts and interactions are just that--private. As long as the relationship is strong and you are open on most other important matters, just let it rest.