The female within

[helenr]

I was femailing one of the members and mentioned a post a while back about if we could 'push a button' and cancel crossdressing urges,etc. I think the 1-2% of those with accepting, supporting wives are so fortunate. The rest of us have spouses that are at best tolerant and surely wish we didn't have the inner needs we do. I got to thinking how sad it is regarding this form of rejection. Just as our physical components make up our appearance, the inner need for feminine self-expression is clearly a major part of who we are. It almost makes me cry (maybe estrogen at work !)to think that this part of us is unwanted and should 'go away'. As a 60 year old transvestite, this would leave an enormous hole in who I am. GGs who tend to view their gender as the more sensitive one should give some greater thought to what they wish could be undone and how it would feel if they had the 'problem'. helenr

[Marcie Sexton]

There is a lot of truth to what you say...I am one of the very lucky ones...full acceptance, with a bushel basket of love thrown in just for the heck of it...

I think even my wife misses Marcie whne she doesn't make an appearance regularlly...

[Joy Carter]

No doubt in what your saying here Helen.
My lovely wife told me when we were dating in the late sixties, that I wasn't at all like any other men she knew (did really know at the time). Gee, I wonder why she thought that ? LoL

[Rachell]

Ditto Marcie, we are the lucky ones

[Bonnie D]

This may sound like I'm shooting myself in the foot here but I truly understand if an SO is not accepting. It is great when they do but if they don't it is no big surprise to me. Men can show their feminine side without dressing by being more compassionate, sensitive, communicative and other ways, and many do. We just happen to have this great need to dress also and if we can't, yes a big whole developes. If we didn't tell our SOs about this need before we married and allowed them the choice then why are we so surprised and hurt when they don't accept it. I told my SO a few months ago and she is not accepting, she will allow it as long as I am alone in the house and I keep it secret from everyone else. Society on the whole will have to change and we will have to tell our SOs before commitments are made. Society will change but it will take some time yet and more and more of us will have to come out. Sites like this are a big step forward.

Bonnie

[Toyah]

I just dont get the female within bit I love the clothes but dont regard myself as fem at all , neither am an Alpha male but i certainly dont think fem

[uknowhoo]

I know the pain of the rejection you speak of :hugs: and it is so sad that society doesn't understand adn accept us more. I do feel that times are changing slowly. It seems with each passing decade things are getting a bit better, and I'm more optomistic for today's kids who happen to grow up CD's.

I would like to question one of your assumptiopns, that only 1 - 2 % of wives/SO's are accepting. I'd venture to guess that # is a bit higher. I was thinking of doing a poll on just that - and just decided I will post a poll thread here soon. :D

[Mitch23]

My beautiful wife is very accepting - she hasn't left me ...

Mitch

[Tree GG]

... Men can show their feminine side without dressing by being more compassionate, sensitive, communicative and other ways, and many do. We just happen to have this great need to dress also ...


I just dont get the female within bit I love the clothes but dont regard myself as fem at all , neither am an Alpha male but i certainly dont think fem

Exactly what I've been trying to say. Thanks

[Mary Morgan]

God bless the GGs who have made their peace with our gender issues. I suspect that they are the kind of people we should all aspire to be, that is to say, tolerant and understanding of people who are different, unless that difference is destructive. They also give me hope for my own future as well as for the human race. Now I ask again, why wouldn't/shouldn't we want to be like them?

[Karren H]

I don't know... I know sensative guys and women that are cold as stone... And from my experiences with them they do not have gender issues... I suppose that there are TG folks that run the gamit of sensativity too.... So I don't see your point..

Yeah and crossdressers with totally accepting wives are so lucky... But I'm not sold on that either as many know.... And I will refrain from my opinion on "The totally accepting GG" since all I get is grief... Lol.

Karren

[KandisTX]

Yeah and crossdressers with totally accepting wives are so lucky... But I'm not sold on that either as many know.... And I will refrain from my opinion on "The totally accepting GG" since all I get is grief... Lol.

Karren

Karren,

I can assure you that there are "TOTALLY ACCEPTING GGs" out there, and in fact I am married to one of them. GlitterGG has known of my dressing since essentially the day we met (12 years ago), and has no problems with it. You can ask her yourself if you like, she is a member here.

Kandis:love:

[Alice B]

I guess I am lucky in having a wife that I would call a "level 2" totally accepting. She accepts my wearing of womans underwear daily, wearing nighties to bed, having shaved legs and having painted toenails. She does not want to have me dress in front of her, but fully accepts my dressing when she is away. She constantly reassures her love of me as I do to her. Our relationship is rock solid, so I am a very happy man/woman. I guess that puts me somewhere in the middle.:happy:

[helenr]

Re percentage of accepting wives, I think when I use a single digit, it's that only a small number actually fully support crossdressing, help with makeup, selecting outfits, etc. If your wife hasn't filed for divorce, it doesn't mean that she is 'happy' with the situation. I think that most crossdressers lean over backwards-no pun intended-to be a good spouse, help around the house, do extra chores-as a small way of saying 'thanks' for accepting me. I sure wish that my transvestism hadn't been in a dormant state when I married 25 years ago so that I could have been open with this before marriage. I bear guilt over this, but that is a common emotion, I think, for most of us.

[jenniferj]

There was an excellent show on PBS last night, of which I caught only about 15 minutes. As far as I could tell, it was an investigation into the causative factors into gender and male/female differences.

The gist (based on a short viewing) was that there is not simply a single Male/Female switch upon which all behavior is based, but rather that different aspects of gender and brain function develop independently and at different times during gestation.

Thus it is possible to be drop-dead gorgeous (and wear only skirts) and still be an aggressive ice-hockey player, or be a geek-nerd-dweeb with exceptional math and spatial skills and still love to hold babies (God, I would love to nurse a baby!)

I am hoping to find a rebroadcast ( Thank goodness for underfunded public TV and the limited programming thus provided) but there is an interesting website to peruse until then...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sn/tvradio/programmes/sexsecrets/

BTW, I still came out as Male when I took the gender test, but only weakly so...

jj