Avatars

[Sapphire]

Just why should a man wish to place on public view a photograph of himself crossdressed? I ask myself this question from time to time - as no doubt do other crossdressers - and I am not entirely satisfied with the answers that I come up with. As one for whom crossdressing is a very private activity (but no longer quite so private since I have joined this forum) I for one reason or another harbour a longing to launch my own avatar, but am held back by the prospect of recognition and the maelstrom of misunderstandings likely to follow. How do others feel about this? Is this a move that some crossdressers have lived to regret, or is it something that has proved to offer a level of satisfaction that is in itself more than sufficient compensation for the risk involved? And wherein lies the satisfaction? We are clearly a very diverse group so I expect that this will be reflected in any responses.

[Karren H]

An avatar is like nothing.. You should see my 1,000s of photos and videos!! Come on!! Personally I'm proud of the way I look enfemme!! And since posting my photo as well as going out in public as a woman doesn't matter to me I don't know why it should to you? Hehe.

Karren

[Lissa Stevens]

So far it hasn't backfired on me. For me placing my own picture out there is a way of freeing myself from my own fear. It has allowed me to get the nerve to venture out of my closet. If I had never posted my pic I probably wouldn't have gone out in public dressed for a long time if ever. Posting my pic for the first time was scary but it was the right thing to do at the right time. [/FONT][/FONT]

[JoAnnDallas]

It's a way to show all the other girls here what you look like. When I first joined, I did not show a avatar. Mainly becuase I did not have a wig. When I got my wig, I decided to put up my avatar and now everyone here knows what I look like. It is also a way to show off different outfits too. LOL

[joann07]

When I first joined the site, I was hesitant to put up a picture, but since nobody really knows what I look like, in male mode, they don't know who I really am except that I'm Joann.

I recently told a male friend about my CDing and, before I told him, I showed him a picture of myself. He was so surprised and couldn't believe it was me in the picture.
So, I have no issues because I'm pretty sure nobody will recognize me.

[Alice B]

Many avatars do not show the real person, or only a very limited view of them. For others it is not a big deal. Since I've joined this group I have made a great effort to show who I am and be known to others like me. People I feel I can truly trust. Plus we have excellent moderators that weed out the negative things quickly. I feel confident of who I am and what I look like when dressed and want to share. I enjoy the images posted by others and get many good ideas and usefull advise. Thus I want others to share how they feel about my look. It all boils down to individual confidence in who and what you are. So, feel free to post your picture or not. No one will think less of you.:hugs:

[Kate Simmons]

As I have stated before, I post my avatar pics mainly for self critiquing, seeing how others see me. I will admit that it's also partly due to my creativity that I have so many looks but it's just something I plain enjoy doing. Still, when I look at them online, I ask myself what I could have done differently to achieve a different look. It also shows what a person can do with less and you really don't have to spend a lot of time and money to get a decent look. A lot of the wigs that I use are the same ones, just styled differently. I'm not worried about being recognized as my real self looks absolutely nothing like the feminine illusion presented. Only a few select friends here have seen the real me.:happy:

[Sharon]

The creation of a photographic avatar is pretty much a rite of passage among members. Most of us, on first discovery of the forum, are still shy and, perhaps, a bit ashamed or frightened of being outed, but as we settle into a comfort zone here, many of us realize that a tiny photo of us in make-up is unlikely to result in being outed. It's a small world, and I suppose anything is possible, but, reality being reality, we are fairly secure in our confidence.

Besides, I just think it's easier to remember who's who by a photograph, rather than another type of avatar. When a member who uses a photograph posts, it is their photo that initially registers in my mind, not their name.

[Dita_B]

I think that the chances for recognition as a result of posting an avatar are next to nil. We all chose feminine names that nobody else outside of our community knows. In femme mode we are not recognizable for anyone, I think I can walk past my own friends and relatives in the Mall without being recognized. So IMHO not posting an avatar out fear of recognition is a non issue.

I think it is safe to say that most of us are proud to show the product of our efforts to emulate the best possible female image. Yes, when speaking for myself, instead of being fearful, I am proud of the result and I am still working hard to improve my image. When I can post a better picture I will do so immediately.

Being able to view avatars of other CD's in this community gives us a chance to relate better to that other person, because it shows how they like to express themselves. Which tells a lot about that person's drive and goals. And don't forget, we are a community of like minded people who share the same interest. An interest that is in general kept very secret for the outer world. However here we are among our own family and friends who know us as our female personalities. That creates a strong bond...

So I think, by asking this question, you may have missed the point of posting an avatar all together.

:love:Dita.

[Sam-antha]

My first published photo was of the back of my head. Iwas just not into the headless variety of that age.
Then I rather liked the pic of a 'cellist's back, complete with hair strings and I still revert to that. Sort of me it is.
What is there now is another me, not necessarily the public one, just the forum one....... for the forum and others looking in.... for the time being.
~Samm

[Toyah]

I have to agree with Karren (owwwwwww that hurt) Toyah looks nothing like my guy self and I am kinda proud of what I can do

[SherriePall]

It's sort of like talking with someone over the telephone for years and always wondering what they look like. Then finally one day you meet that person. That's what an avatar does. It's like you finally meeting that person.
And, hopefully, my male friend does not look anything like my avatar.

[Ibuki_Warpetal]

I think you have to question the gender identity of anyone who would "out" you and cite a CD forum as a source.

That's like saying you love Ford on a Ford forum. A VW owner isn't going to come in randomly and give you trouble for it. (:

Anyone watching this site is a CD or a sympathiser. If not, they are a weird crazy stalker with a troublesome fixation.
--
Personally, I just prefer to be a faceless mass of black letters. I tend to butt heads with people and I feel this dehumanizes me which is advantageous at times.

[lmildcd]

I wish I had a pic to post as my avatar. I do have a pic over at my yahoo profile, but I don't think it is allowed here.

[Lindahexi]

When I first joined the forum I was far too shy to show a picture of myself, but many of the members that helped and advised me had their femme picture as an avatar. I wanted to reciprocate and let them see what I looked like, and eventually I plucked up the courage to post a pic of myself. I honestly feel that nobody would ever recognise me, and I certainly don't regret it.

[Tina Dixon]

I have had my face on my avatar many times and hole body shots. when in fem I look nothing like my male self so I was never worried, right now I just find any thing while I'm in one of my moods about why I should dress.

[RobertaFermina]

I have lost patience with the fear of judgment and confusion from others.

I feel the words of Marianne Williamson. That I fear opening myself up and revealing my magnificence to myself and others MORE than all other fears.

I no longer fear my narcissistic tendencies. They are there, yet shame or guilt about them might lead me to hide myself, and create a tiny world where my narcissism would run rampant. Better to open the doors and windows and get myself out into the light, be who I am (and love) and use the energy I waste in secluding myself to particpate more in the world.

I put my avatar out there so I can be seen and appreciated and measured, and so any reaction toward me can be expressed. I can learn from positive or negative reactions (if positive and negative have any absolute meaning at all (LOL) !). I also feel more Real when I show myself, and hope I feel more Real to those who see me.

I put my avatar out there and change it as I change and grow and explore, and so my path and growth (or shrinking) is seen, and all can 'take my pulse'.

I'm not the same person who logged on here at first, and my avatar is one chronicle of my journey.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[carol ann]

I am vain enough to believe that Carol Ann bears little or no resemblance from the male she is escaping from. then that little doubt creeps in - is it part of the excitement to risk being recognised?

[SatinDoll00]

I posted a pic of myself here, but it wasn't a good one. My avatar pic IS me, but it is not my face...obviously. Why not?? I just don't think I am good enough with make up and everything yet. I was getting mighty brave there for a well...I have been knocked down a peg or two. When my skills are where they need to be, I will have a face shot here, instead of just the legs :)

Why would I want to post my pic here? I guess for the same reason I want to go out! Or even the same reason I wouldn't want to be locked away from the world in dark cave somewhere forever as a man. To me, Morgan is a part of who I am, and I want to share that with SOMEONE, even if it is only online on a message board with people I don't really know.

Well, thats about all I've got!!

Morgan

[DAVIDA]

I, like others, am not to recognizeable. It really doesn't matter to me anyway. Anyone who matters already knows about me.
My younger sister said that I look more like our mother than anybody. So....If somebody knows my mother, they might get some kind of clue.
And it's not like I chose a name to hide from people!

[Kieron Andrew]

i dont care what people think....ive had my picture in trans magazines so an avatar is nothing

[Wendy me]

lol i did the headless ones and was shaking in my heels lol silly me any way this is me still shy.... but here i am.....

[Butterfly Bill]

It sure ain't "private" for me. I'm out and proud and sometimes loud and know what to do if I draw a crowd, and I want people to know what I look like so they might can recognize me if they see me in real life.

[Tina Dixon]

It sure ain't "private" for me. I'm out and proud and sometimes loud and know what to do if I draw a crowd, and I want people to know what I look like so they might can recognize me if they see me in real life.
Your a inspiration to a lot of us Bill:thumbsup:

[Tamara Croft]

My avatar is me, I'm the Queen of Sheba :heehee:

Ok... it's not, but it is me in my signature ;) but it did take me about a year to get up the courage (or more like when my Tam would let me lol) put a real picture up of me :D Besides, if someone saw you here, chances are, they are here for the same reason you are ;)

[chucks]

it's more entertaining and personal. my image is carved into many minds now. there must be some benefit.

[SandyR]

An Avitar is like a Drivers Lics, every crossdresser should have one. I like the way I look and feel enfemme, and am proud to show it to others. So, to answer your question, for me I could hardly wait to post my first face pic advitar here.

Hugs.

SandyR

[Holly]

For me, Sapphire, it is simply another public declaration of who I believe myself to be. Speaking only for myself, as I have progressed in my TG journey, I find myself doing more and more things leaving less and less to the imagination. I wear women's jeans to work exclusively, wear earrings in both ears everyday, and have my longish nails always polished (color of course). Or maybe it's just that I'm so old that I just don't care anymore. :tongueout

[Cristi]

I've been a member for just about a year. I've had an avatar in the past that didn't include my face. After reading this thread, I figured it was time to take the next step. My new avatar shows all of me, but between that fact that it is so small, and I am wearing sunglasses, I don't think I'd be recognized even by my closest friends.

BTW: This pic was taken on one of my favorite days EVER. It was on halloween of last year (2006) and I was out all day in this short dress, tights and plenty of cleavage. I'd even just gotten finished having my hair styled, and was enjoying lunch at a resturant, where I asked the waitress to take my photo.

[Alex-is]

I understand your concerns totally. Im very cautious about having my picture online, no matter where it is (unless i can control who has access to it), which is why my avatar is just a stylized picture of my chest

[TxKimberly]

Well, speaking for myself, I present as "Matt" all day, every day. Getting old, lost most of my hair (except of course where I DON'T want it!), plain, boring, Matt. Here, or On-line at all, I get to present as Kim. On the internet, I appear as Kim, I am treated as Kim, and I think most think of me as Kim.
This is why I post my Kim avatar - HERE I AM Kim. :-)

[Sheri 4242]

Being "fifty-something," most of my half century of life as a crossdresser (since age 3-4) has been shrouded in secrecy with subtending guilt, conflicted feelings, and even, at times, outright shame. So, it is more than reasonable to ask why I now show my face . . .
In part, it is as Sharon says:

The creation of a photographic avatar is pretty much a rite of passage . . .

I absolutely agree!!!!!!!

In considering placing an avatar photo, several things came to my mind:

First, I don't think there is much chance of being outed by posting my picture on this site -- I truly believe that "if" you ran into me on the street AND "if" you were really familiar with my avatar photo, you wouldn't know it was me. I live in a small city -- and understand small-town mentality -- but even with that knowledge, I feel pretty safe and secure in posting the photo. That said, I do feel that posting the picture is part of my rite of passage -- from that guilt-ridden child into an adult acknowledging who and what I am. "If" I am ever recognized, so be it -- it will be part of my journey.

Second, along a similar line of thought, it is EXACTLY as Roberta says:

I put my avatar out there so I can be seen and appreciated and measured, and so any reaction toward me can be expressed. I can learn from positive or negative reactions . . . I also feel more Real when I show myself, and hope I feel more Real to those who see me.

That is a succinct way of what I consider very pragmatic reasoning for showing my photo. No, I haven't received any feedback (appreciation and/or measurement) one way or the other. Hopefully that will come at some point, but maybe not. In the main, I do feel more real and alive when I show myself and likewise hope I am more real to those who see me.

When I first signed on this forum, I just put my femme name. Shortly afterwards, I added one of the "ready-made" avatars of a girly girl. It was a HUGE step for me to post the picture! To me it is a sign of growth and a part of the history of my personal journey.

Heck -- it was a HUGE step to stand on "The Las Vegas Strip" in broad daylight, with thousands pasing by and me in a wedding gown, having photograph after photograph taken. That, too, was part of my journey. It was also part of my wife's journey -- and, it was part of our corporate journey. (When we get the final photos in, we plan on putting a few on here -- another step of the journey.)

As an aside, this may be a good time to say that I wish more people on the forum would put where they are from -- even if just generally stated. I like knowing the diversity of the group -- and it sometimes helps to understand differing perspectives if we know "in general," where someone is from.

At any rate, back to the avatar photos, Roberta used a great phrase with which I agree and identify: my avatar is (one part of the) chronicle of my journey.

:D

[crusadergirl]

For me it took a long time to put a pic of me on here. But when i first started this site i didn't have a wig and i wasn't sure of who i was at the time. It was pretty easy for me to put a pic of myself on here, i wanted so bad to show ppl what i looked like. I have no fear of ppl finding out all my friends and family already know of Kirra. I'm not the same person i was when i first started on here.

[Jillm]

I’ve been lurking in this site for about a year before I joined because of fear of being outed. I still have that fear. One problem I have is when in fem mode my SO tells me I look like a twin to my sister. I do have a avatar of me but my face is blurred. I don’t know maybe it’s a comfort thing.

[Mitch23]

A rite of passage for me. My first photoshoot therefore the first opportunity I had to see myself as others see me - and I liked what I saw!!! Got better pics now but like this one because it reminds me of how I've grown up. A kind of personal statement - this is who I am. Don't worry too much about being outed - my son thinks I'm dad's girlfriend and my brother in law walked past me in the street. If folks are looking at this site then they're prolly CD or sympathetic anyway

Mitch

[Sally24]

If you're shy or worried start slow. Use a partial body pic, or a blurred pic, make sure there is nothing in the background from home (I use a sheet as a backdrop sometimes). It is a small thing but it does help people identify you and feel a little closer. I am very much into images and photos as the regulars here can testify so I immediately used my pic as my avatar.

[Susancd]

I posted my avatar as a reminder of a makeover session I had last year, (I'm not good enough at the make up to show my face normally) and I am sure that the chances of me being recognised are virtually nil!

[angelfire]

I see little chance of someone from the outside recognizing me. I mean, if they are on this site to begin with, they are obviously here for a reason, probably the same reason I am. Thus if they are here, I doubt they'd out me.

Also, the name Angelfire is common enough. Its the name of a web host, and even on some other forums I'm on, people thought I was a girl because it sounds feminine I guess.

So overall,I think my chances would be pretty small of being outed. My main reason right now for not posting is I don't feel that I look femme enough.

[Sweet Jane]

I'm waaayyyy to shy to post an avatar here....(haha)...I like to think I look a little different as a guy. I AM to afraid to post a photo of me as a man though...but then is anyone really interested in looking at me, the guy!!!

[valery]

Just why should a man wish to place on public view a photograph of himself crossdressed?

In my idea they do it primarily:
- to feel more real (good enough I often read) at a point of their life when they're ready to be themselves
- to release to do their final step(s) to come clean and live their freedom
- to let their friends in this forum have a picture of them (that's quite connective and lovely)
- to let other members in association with their stories see that it's possible somehow to find a way as a TG
- to show the world that they do not longer give a damn about and that they're awesome and brave
- to figth against the desires and efforts of intolerant people because a picture in our times beats everything
- to get feedback and acceptance

There is no picture (only my eye with make-up) of the real Valery in my avarta yet, but I think the day will come, when I will be strong enough.

However there's more behind all this and that's the reason for my response.
For me the picture is only one single step of a towering staircase I decided to clamber. Pictures are supervalued in our presence.
In Media: If you sell the right line you might be o.k. to survive...if you sell the right picture (with it) you'll be fine to wine and dine.
Will I need a picture badly to keep on going my alley here to find my freedom? I don't know, but as we live in this downright visual world I think in the end it'll be very important for me one day, as I already have the big desire to load it up right now.

The thing is that, if I keep on hiding Valery (or a part of her) and give others (and me too) a false color of the truth, I'm not able to live! To specify: I do not even exist! So I joined this forum and for me this was, after many delays, a desired moment of thruth (with myself) and freedom and it's only the beginning of a long journey, I think. The day when Valery will be emancipated will be the day when she will be ready to go out in public and then there'll be no more reason not to give my avartar and my friends here a nice authentic pic of val.


that's my personal feeling and idea, I will have to find out hoping that I'm not off the track

take care

[JennaKnots]

I showed a couple of friends and my therapist. They thought that Jenna looked nothing like my male self. I figured the chances were low, so I went for it. For many, the feel of the clothing is enough, for me, the illusion is the reality. I recently had the experience of dressing with a friend while another GG friend watched ala webcam. The next day she said "last night, I wan't talking to you, I was talking to Jenna"

[Billie Renee]

my avtar is of me and I'm proud to have it there so people can see what I look like and put a face with who they are talking to. I'm out to every one I know and am not ashamed of any thing at all. I hope that if you are out to the ones you love and admire it will be easy for you to be yourself as well. Any one that wants to know any thing aboout me or my life just has to ask I have nothing to hide from anyone.



Love to all the gurls and girls here Billie Renee

[Ashley Lynn Swift]

For me, Sapphire, it is simply another public declaration of who I believe myself to be. Speaking only for myself, as I have progressed in my TG journey, I find myself doing more and more things leaving less and less to the imagination. I wear women's jeans to work exclusively, wear earrings in both ears everyday, and have my longish nails always polished (color of course). Or maybe it's just that I'm so old that I just don't care anymore. :tongueout

I don't know about the old part you really don't look that old to me, but the i just don't care anymore part i have to agree, personally i'm tried of living a lye, if anybody reconigizie me so be it. i'm tried of hiding who i am on the inside