My body's like a woman's

[wannabie]

After a long time in seclusion, I went out on a date the other day. it was a colleague from work that I had a thing for.
we met up at coney Island at the parachute jump then walked around. we talked about everything and nothing and it was great.
then something came up. we had our arms around each other and she put her arms around me. at first I thought Wow! she's into me, but then she came out and said "You really have a lot of curves". (she felt me up.) I asked what do you mean curves? and she said that she noticed my bussoms. "MyBussoms?" yea, It's kinda pointy through your shirt. I said O' and thought of something. I said that when I was in college I had huge pecks and they kind of died down over the years when I stopped lifting weights. ( I have never lifted weights in my life). she said that happens to a lot of guys she knows that are weight lifters and that I should start exercising to loose it.

Ok she bought it. but how do I explain "O by the way I'm a crossdresser and I'm taking hormones to grow breast and that most of the time I wear bras and that i am planning crossdress fulltime for a few months"

I really like her and Now I'm beginning to think enforcing my feminine side's needs have been a mistake.
I looked at myself in the mirror, really looked and noticed that I have a feminine shape. not only do I have boobs but my butt is beginning to stick out.

a few days ago I would greatfull for having achieving a girlish form but now?????????????????????????????????


I need some advice.

Help:loser:


P.S. Take a look at my profile picture. that's all me!!

[Mary Morgan]

Well young lady, it sounds to me as though you have to decide what it is you want out of life. Hormones are suppose to do the things they are doing, and taking them is a commitment, at least I think it is. If you really like this woman, be honest with her, she deserves that. Who knows. maybe she was disappointed in your answer and is attracted to your "boobies". I am having trouble believing that you would commit to hormones and then react in this way. Make up your mind.

[jenniferj]

Strongly agree with the very lovely Louise - Most of the SO trouble we see on this site is based on springing a surprise on someone who is already committed. If the breasts are yours and you want to keep them - tell her. If she is still interested, you are an extremely lucky girl. If not, you have saved yourselves both a lot of pain.

BTW, I know that most of us (and I emphasize US) didn't intend to trap our SO - I certainly thought (marrying very young) that CDing was something I would "outgrow" with the love of a good woman. I have a GREAT woman, and I didn't outgrow it...The cool thing now is that she sometimes borrows my stuff- my taste is much more girly than hers.

jj

[teresa jeen]

i wish i had a body like a woman's, i surely know what to do. butt(theres that Butt) im not sure what to say, you didnt finish the story, did she not know you were dressed even in the smallest way?

[Scotty]

Wow my worst nightmare came true for someone!

I was told a similiar thing...by a guy..I was flattered too because it means the HRT is working, the changes to me are slow so I don't see them overnight...

Go on a couple of dates but you won't be losing any breast tissue any time soon - if it's something you think will work out you can drop the HRT and quit dressing and put it away........but it will probably come back out and screw it up if you dont' tell her something up front...and then if it does happen you may regret having spent say, 2 years with her or whatnot....

It's quite the dilema...

I avoid dating now...

[sammie]

Hi B, You seem to have a little problem. I hope i can help. I agree with others that being honest with your colleague will save you alot of heartache in the long run. If you plan to pursue a relationship with this woman that is a must! If not you may have to eat humble pie at work for a long time! Tell her how you feel ( women really love that ) and ask her how she feels about you. That's the first thing i would do if i were in your shoes hun.

[AmberTG]

This is just me, but I would have told her that the breast growth is a side effect of a pill that I take. If she asks what the pill is for, my answer would be "prostate problems". I realize that's not exactly true, but in my case, it's not exactly false either. My breast growth is a side effect of 2 drugs that I take. Neither drug was designed purposefully for the use that I'm taking it for, so it is a side effect.
I will say that the previous advice is good advice. You should try to figure out what direction you want to go from here.

[Kiera20mi]

You dont have to be like hey I am crossdress right off the bat.

Just tell her that you have a few things to talk to her about.

Then when you 2 are alone tell her that you have a passion in your life, not a person... to say (lol i have 2 people in me sometimes haha) but you have another side you want to show her.

Then what i would say is exactly this. My 'curves' are a result of the medicine i take.

And i like them.

I hope you dont think i am weird, but i am a crossdresser on occation, but it is not a gay thing. I love women, i love them so much i want to be closer to them and be apart of the thing i love so much.

Thats what i would say in a nutshell.

Hope things work out! give us an update hun!

[Maddie22]

I think going out with her a few more times to see if you really like her is a good idea. From there you can decide wether or not you want to stop with the hormones or not persue her in that way. Once you make that decision you can go on to the next step.

[Stephenie S]

Dear Wannabe,

Please get your head together around just what you want to be doing in your life. If you are going to be continuing your feminazation process, you have to tell this woman. If you plan to skate back and forth between the genders, you have to tell this woman. If you plan to drop everything for love for a woman that you have had only one date with, you have to see your therapist quick (that's an extremely unrealistic view of the world of love and marriage, and perhaps relects your immature view of life in general).

In any case, please don't waste any more of this poor woman's time pussyfooting around. Figure out what you want to do (that's why we go to a therapist if we are taking HRT), and then get busy growing up.

Stephenie

[psion128]

Let her know early enough in the relationship. I let my ex know prior to us getting serious. She was shocked but she was willing to put it aside and let our relationship grow. I hope your gg is very open minded like my ex.

[Karren H]

Guess you can't have your cake and eat it too??

Karren

[Kate Simmons]

Unfortunately Hon, most of us are like a T.A.R.D.I.S. and are "bigger" on the inside than we are on the outside. The decision has to be made whether to "limit" yourself or not but you have to make it, my friend.:happy:

[Sharon]

I don't understand why you are feminizing your body, but not wanting it to be noticeable.


Ok she bought it. but how do I explain "O by the way I'm a crossdresser and I'm taking hormones to grow breast and that most of the time I wear bras and that i am planning crossdress fulltime for a few months"

This is what is really confusing me. You say that you are "planning to crossdress fulltime for a few months." What do you mean? Are you developing breasts just for a short-term fling as a female? What happens after the few months are done?

That said -- if you are intent on feminizing your body to the point where it has become noticeable, I don't see a good way to continue to lie about it. If you want a serious relationship with someone, all you are doing is dooming it by obviously lying about something as significant as this.

[chantelle]

Dear Wannabe,

Please get your head together around just what you want to be doing in your life. If you are going to be continuing your feminazation process, you have to tell this woman. If you plan to skate back and forth between the genders, you have to tell this woman. If you plan to drop everything for love for a woman that you have had only one date with, you have to see your therapist quick (that's an extremely unrealistic view of the world of love and marriage, and perhaps relects your immature view of life in general).

In any case, please don't waste any more of this poor woman's time pussyfooting around. Figure out what you want to do (that's why we go to a therapist if we are taking HRT), and then get busy growing up.

Stephenie

I agree wholeheartedly. THere is no inbetween here. Either you go ahead and finish what you started or stop. DOnt mess with their feelings, for you know how hard it is for us (females) to comeback from a let down.
Dont do it.
Love hugs,
Chantelle aka Kristy aka Woman

[janet1234]

C'est la vie, decisions decisions, best of luck whatever you decide my friend.

[kerensa]

Take time out, ask yourself whats more important to you when you find the answer you will know what to do

[wannabie]

I've been reading all your post and thanks for the advice.

To start off, I guess I'm a little confused about what I want to do. I had plans for my femme self and now it just suddenly, HALTED!
I didn't plan on meeting someone, it just happened. It started with us working together on a project and we found out that we had something in common; so we went out. When we were talking she mentioned that her old boyfriend bought a lot of his baggage into their relationship and they broke up because of it. I'm just starting to get to know her.. Well were getting to know each other and I don't want to be written off without her getting to really know me. I don’t know if there’s anything there and I don feel that it’s the right time to say “I have a feminine side that comes out once in a while". Maybe if we know each other better I'll hit her with the news, but for now I'm kind of mixed up about where I'm going. I started taking hormones because I wanted to look and feel more feminine when I dress. I wasn’t counting on my drab self meeting someone or even considering a relationship.

I want to know how did you tell your SO? I know it wasn’t on the first date so, I want to find out when is it a good time to say something?

I like sammie's advice about telling her how I feel from the start, but thats a bit dangerous. what if she says yes I'm interested but when I tell her about my crossdressing she gets completly turned off then shoots me down; or worse I become just the "friend" that she talks with about other boys? I find that most people always think that all crossdressers are gay, which were not.

so any more thoughts?

[Paulette]

Hurt her now or later it's your choice. Why build a house on sand, if you express your true feelings and she rejects what makes you think that in a few months she will accept you. Are you hoping that she will fall in love with you and then accept the fact that she may have entered into a lesbian relationship. once you get a full (noticeable in a t-shirt) bosom you become neither fish nor foul, not woman and not a man in those situations were your shirt has to come off. Wearing a bra full time will be seen by others and if you are presenting as a male you will be looked and stared at. How about that nice trip to the beach or to the pool (a wet t-shirt will never hide anything) are you going to wear a bikini or male trunks? While not on hormones I have what are commonly referred to a moobs (full A cup) from medication not taken to develop the breast and even I will get looks and comments.

[Mollyanne]

Hi wannabe, It looks like you got yourself into a world of emotional trouble. When u start HRT u wanted to become female(is this correct?) and you started to develop very nicely from what I can see. Now it seems that you r starting to have second thoughts about it. One of the girls said that u should c your therapist asap and that my dear is the best advice anybody can give at the present time!!!!!


:love: Mollyanne

[wannabie]

Are you hoping that she will fall in love with you and then accept the fact that she may have entered into a lesbian relationship.

Well...Yeah!
That's what I was thinking.

Told her today.

[sterling12]

OK, took care of that problem, didn't you?

I hope it all works out all right, she doesn't cause you problems, and that you follow your true feelings. If you really want to "Go on down The Road," nobody ever said it was going to be easy.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[sissystephanie]

Well young lady, it sounds to me as though you have to decide what it is you want out of life. Hormones are suppose to do the things they are doing, and taking them is a commitment, at least I think it is. If you really like this woman, be honest with her, she deserves that. Who knows. maybe she was disappointed in your answer and is attracted to your "boobies". I am having trouble believing that you would commit to hormones and then react in this way. Make up your mind.

I very definitely agree with Louise. If you are actually taking hormones, you must know what will happen to your body. If you love the girl, tell her the truth. If she is turned off, then she is not the one for you! Sorry, but that is life!

Sissy

More Girl than man

[wannabie]

I told her today. After reading all of your post, I realized that all of you are right. If I wanted something honest and something where no one will get hurt later down the line, I have to be up front with her about my CDing from the beginning.

I met with her today. Since we worked together I didn’t have to go skulking around. When she came in I asked if I could talk with her after work. She said sure then we went about business. At the end of the day I got out a few minutes earlier and kind of did the accidentally run into you thing, trying not to look desperate.:heehee: We walked around the city for a little while and I was trying to steer the conversation to bring up the breast thing. It wasn’t working so I played 20 questions. I think I blew it with my last question “what are you looking for in a guy?” She said a few things that I thought funny and I acted a bit comickey to lighten the mood more. and then I mentioned that I crossdress. She had an amazed look on her face and said that she thought that I wasn’t the type. She asked if I performed somewhere and I said no and I went into how I was doing this when I was a younger, and asked that she not tell anyone. She was very cool with the whole thing.
WoW!:love:

Ok, I did it.:D I told her and I did the switch topic away from me thing. We went into Kmart to pick up a few thing and I asked if she wanted to go out this weekend. She said that she was seeing someone; this after she told me just a few days ago that she was single and available after her last boyfriend.

So It didn’t work out……………. At least No one was hurt, but I felt a little crushed inside. Life goes on and I guess no more distractions from my original objective. I hope that this was the last distraction.

[Tina P Hose]

It would really be cool for me to meet a woman who I could be mentally and sexually attarcted to before Leg shaving season starts.

[RobertaFermina]

I hear that you are crushed inside. I'd pay attention to that.

Maybe your objective isn't either/or with CD/TG and dating girls. Maybe its a both/and ? How about honestly exploring that ?

It doesn't have to be easy to be true.

It doesn't have to be easy to come true.

It does have to be accepted to come true in a good way.


Whatever else happens, next to the hurt, there is good news that you have the courage to be honest.

With Sympathy and Admiration,

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[daniisummers]

hopefully you can find somebody nice in the future. its difficult but can be done

[paulaN]

I think you handled yourself very well. I wish you the very best in the future.

[5inchHeels]

So It didn’t work out……………. At least No one was hurt, but I felt a little crushed inside. Life goes on and I guess no more distractions from my original objective. I hope that this was the last distraction.

I think you're answering your own questions. You need to ask yourself what is more important, being feminine or being in a relationship. It will be hard to do both while you are transitioning.

Do you need to fully femme to be in a relationship? Or is the feminizing filling the void? Could you be happy being femme part time in a supportive relationship?

I believe that a loving relationship is critical to emotional development and more importantly to long term happiness. Make sure you aren't creating an unequal exchange to placate short term desires.

Figure out what you want, which seems like a loving and understanding partner, then make you choices based the likelihood of obtaining those wants. Also realize that you can't expect someone else to understand and love you if you don't understand and love yourself.

Try and figure out your own emotions then work from there.

[erickka]

Wannabie.... Just remember the old saying (and a good one to live by) Honesty is the best policy. Good Luck!