POLL: How Accepting is Your Wife/SO ?

[uknowhoo]

We hear anecdotal evidence of many accepting wives/SO's, many who are not accepting, and many CD's who haven't come out to their partners (I've been in all 3 categories in the last year, in reverse order :)). It's been a while since we've had a poll on this topic (I think), so here goes...

For those CD's who are, or have been, in a committed relationship, how would you categorize your wife/SO's posture towards your CDing?

* Never disclosed, don't intend to

* Haven't come out, but hope to

* Unaccepting wife/SO

* Tolerates it... mostly don't ask, don't tell

* Generally accepting, some days better than others, or

* Accepting and supportive, God Bless her (him)



Now, we'll get better results if every member reading this answers the poll (even if you don't feel like posting a response otherwise). Sorry if there's a common/obvious poll option which I missed. :o

Thanx y'all for your participation!!

xoxo

Tammi

[kerensa]

Gave up trying to explain to my wife why i like crossdressing she just knows its something i have to do and has given me free reign to do whatever i want as long as i am a bit more discreet around the children, says that if i was to die before her she would look for another tv she is a diamond.

[Melora]

Yeah.. Great Poll!
It is kinda interesting to me.. I am accepted, but She does not seem to accept me... = Sheknows, But has yet to actually accept me. And Yet She Will.. I Know..

[Wendy me]

going with Unaccepting wife/SO.... and we have made some small steps .... but dose not look good for her coming around on this .... who knows ????.....

[loki_uk]

I wish I'd never been found out, so one down for unaccepting even though she'd say otherwise..."well I haven't divorced you YET"

Tolerance goes as far as still living with me, she says she loves me but she won't make love to me anymore so it's hardly acceptance

That's whats annoying about women, they fall in love with you because you don't act like a man and you're 'different'. Then they can't cope when they find out you don't just want to get in there knickers you want to wear them too

And they always want to know why, like there really is answer. I don't know why it just feels good, but why I wouldn't have a clue

[DAVIDA]

As I have said before, Jean has known since the day I proposed. She has supported me since. We both are members of Tri-Ess.

[jozee]

wife no 1 : no way jose! blew a fuse every time i did it!
wife no 2 : very accepting doesn't begin to describe it. she lets me dress whenever i want, and we shop together all the time!:love::hugs:

[Sally24]

I am lucky to have a gal who has always supported me since we started dating in the 70's. Married almost 30 years now and it is generally getting better every year. She has only actively participated the last 3 years but I didn't dress much before then. Now we go on shopping trips and vacations as two girlfriends and she has helped my color coordination and fashion sense immersurably. We do have some small boundary issues and priorities, as with any other part of our lives together, but I couldn't have asked for a better life partner. I always contended that we were fated to be together as we had several close calls at meeting in our younger lives. Now with all that has happened the last few years I know that she was meant for me!

(Blessed and I know it!)

[Linda C]

I hope never come out to her - too many probable issues :eek:

[BethCD]

My Honey-pie found out about Beth 1 month afetr we married (30 yrs. ago). She was tolerant back then and I learned my boundaries the hard way, but never any major problems. Now she helps with my wig if I need help and I dress at will as long as I remain indoors.
I am very lucky to be with her! :D

Beth

[KandisTX]

As I have posted many times before, GlitterGG has known about Kandis since essentially the day we met 12 years ago. She has always been supportive, and helpful, as well as understanding of me. I know I am truly a lucky gurl to have so wonderful a wife. She sees Kandis as just another facet of K*** and that it is just one more part of the whole person she loves.

Kandis:love:

[cindybarnes]

I checked the generally accepting choice even tho my wife can be very supportive, that sort of comes and goes. Either way I know Im really lucky to be in the group of us thats not hiding this secret from their SO

Cindy

[tommi]

She knows and she ordered a full purge and wants me to get counciling for my illness this week.:(

[Jenny Beth]

My wife has always been supportive and after all the years we've been together it's just a normal part of life. Just yesterday we were passing a shop that was having a summer clearance sale and she asked if I neded any more tops, how can anyone turn down an offer like that....:D

[Tina Dixon]

She found out over a year ago but has not said a word since and neither have I.

[Holly]

More than supportive... a fan. That's not to say we don't have boundaries... but they are mutually agreeable. HT is the best!

[Darlene Dippy]

Generally Accepting.

Prior to finding this forum I guess I was also Generally Accepting of my wife's acceptance!

I am now very grateful for it, realising, at least in some respects, what GGs concerns and fears are.

We now talk about it, before it was just something I did. We even joke about it!

[Deborah Jane]

unaccepting wife\so I told her 5 years ago. she could never get used to the idea[i stopped dressing but got stressed very easily] we split up last year!

[Missy Anne]

Mrs. Missy is unbelievably accepting. And I am unbelievably lucky to have her as a life mate.

We had the expected bumpy start for a few months but now she has a lot of fun with it and as you all may have read in our posts last winter, took me out several times. What a major rush that was!!!

She is already talking about going out again this winter and how to make it happen. Most plans center around what to wear and how not to get read.

She knows it makes me more relaxed and for that reason frequently suggests that I change into Missy Anne for a while.

I love her very much!

And I sincerely wish (as does she) that all of us had a wife or SO who was even half that accepting.

Missy Anne

[kellylv]

my so loves my dressing and wishes I could be more free to go out as her girlfriend. once she became comfortable with her own feelings of being attracted to me while dressed, she really enjoys, the sexier the better. She's in the process of getting feminine apparil that allows for us to enjoy a girls day out.

[Christine XX]

Wow, hurray for the nearly 70% in the top two categories!

As for me, I'm extremely lucky to have a very understanding, accepting, supportive wife. In fact, I need to remind myself more often how lucky I am.

Christine

[Jennilouise]

my Girlfriend has known since we met and gets really turned on when i dress. She is so surportive and understands why i have to do it. She is the one who go me out in public but i must admit it was at night, but what a rush that was.....


I love her to bits:love:

[SatinDoll00]

I checked the Doesn't know but would like to tell her someday option.

I am not 100% sure that it will ever happen. While I can definitely see a ton of benefits IF she accepts it, I can also see it ruining our marriage and deeply hurting her if she doesn't. I am not sure it is worth the risk for the benefits I would receive. Some will say she deserves to know, but I am not sure I want to hurt her like that...she doesn't deserve THAT.

Time will tell...for now, I am just happy to be Morgan where possible, and suffer in my scratchy itchy man clothes the rest of the time :(

Morgan

[Danni Barron]

.... I think she'd be OK with the dressing, but not how I feel about it...:2c:

[Brenda121]

Have not told her and will never,She is the love of my life very afraid that it would hurt her,so will stay hidding forever:sad::sad:

[Lilith Moon]

I checked "Tolerates..."

But that is not the whole story. Sometimes she is very supportive, for example shopping with me for femme items. Other times she gets upset when I even mention the subject. Her reaction is highly unpredictable to the extent that I normally get too stressed out to dress when she is around...which means that I hardly dress at all these days...which gets me stressed out...and so it goes on...

[Dita_B]

Wow what a bunch of lucky girls are you who have a supporting S.O...

I am not that lucky. I was busted years ago once when she came home early and I had nowhere to hide. Since then she knew, but didn't say a word about it. From there on I did my very best to avoid discovery, which lasted until recently. Lately I changed my attitude and told her about my increased urge for Cross Dressing because, among other things, I was not ashamed of it anymore.

She answered that she could not prevent me from doing it as I had the right to express myself the way I want to... But she would appreciate if I could keep it out of her sight. She said that it was a problem that she was having with it, and she didn't really blame me for doing it.

So there is where it sits and where it probably stays. She's very sensitive and smells a rat from a mile distance and since I am not ashamed anymore, I have become a little more sloppy, so afterwards she picks up on little clues and acts as she knows, but says barely anything. She will tell me to take the polish off my fingernails for instance without further comments. (I use transparent uncolored polish as basis for my glue-on nails). But she did tell me after finding my avatar picture, that I look a lot better with dark hair as with blond.

But there is no hope in sight as yet that she will ever become supportive in the sense that she will help me with cross dressing, let alone go on a shopping trip together.

But... I have learned to never say never...

:love:Dita.

[uknowhoo]

I must say I'm pleasantly surprised by the results so far. I wouldn't have guessed the accepting/supporting #'s would be so high. While this is by no means scientific, the results really are encouraging.

As for those who answered unaccepting or even tolerates only, my heart really does go out to you.:hugs: I suffered through the anguish of that stage, and our marriage tetered on the edge not to long ago. Fortunately, my wife, like Dita's, came to the realization that the problem was her reaction/lack of acceptance more than my actual dressing. It took alot of work on her part, for which I'm most grateful, but she's really come around. So please don't lose hope, as love can lead to understanding and in turn to acceptance.

Thank you all for your responses. :hugs:

xoxo

Tammi


.... I think she'd be OK with the dressing, but not how I feel about it...:2c:

I definitely hadn't thought of that one. I'd be curious to see if there are others in that same boat.

[joann426]

boy my wife was kind of not excepting for a while we went to conseling but that didnt happen either i told her i didnt want to be a women but dress like one and have funwith it and have her with me to we are not diviorce and not planning to get one she knows just what i want and is letting me have my clothes and boobs to i think she really likes it to because we have bought colthes together and she let me have them we dont have sex but we can be two friends (girl) and go out together she even bought me a purse so i do believe she like me that way

[Victoria Gizelle]

My Wife totally accepts and understands Victoria and her needs. Has helped out very much in her coming out, have gone out shopping together for everything for her... dresses, make-up, heels, pantys and bras, nylons....very LUCKY to have married MY BEST FRIEND...:happy:

[BarbaraTalbot]

Basically it says that you have an over 85% chance of being able to stay married and express yourself through dressing with some degree of tolerance. As CD'ers I think we often long for the ideal, but the reality doesn't see so horrific.

[SueJack]

My wife is just begining to accept this need in me. She now suggests that I get changed and buys me little presents. I am so glad I told her.

[Echo Logical]

Right now I would have to say that the love of my life is unaccepting. We have a number of other issues going on right now that we are working through, and what she needs of me is to be the man she married. We have agreed to discuss it more once our major financial stresses are dealt with. I think that she will have a lot of fun with the whole thing, once we have a bit more breathing space.

[MsRicky]

I have a new partner who I told about my other self soon after we started seing each other. The reason is that both of us have a troubled past and have suffered badley in our previous relationships and I wanted this one to be built on TRUST It turned out that Sarah had allso had a few things that she wanted to tell me.
We started out knowing more about each other than most couples find out in there life time together
She likes me to dress for games with her and knowes that I dress at other times, how ever we keep it hidden from our 2 1/2 year old son
One thing I have noticed is that Sarah has changed the way she dresses, She now wears clothes very simular to the style that I do whene dressed

[jennifer ann]

I checked the nonaccepting s/o. My wife found out about Jennifer a year ago, and after some talks and discussions for a couple of weeks nothing has been said about it since March.

[Raychel]

My wife is accepting more every day. She knows all, would rather not see me dressed, But accepts the fact that this is what I like. She will go shopping with me at times. So overall she is pretty cool with it. :thumbsup:

[Suzie S.]

I voted accepting, God bless her! :happy: I know just how lucky I am, I count my blessings every day. She will help me buy things, and I can usually dress at home any time I like (which lately isn't that much, LOL).

[Carroll]

Not only is my wife accepting, and supportive, she does not care if I go out as Carroll....It more me that avoids going out

[dashi30]

My SO, Jamie, is so supportive. The best thing is, I have gained a girlfriend who can teach me all the parts of being a woman I could never learn from TV or a book. I want to give a HUGE thanks to all the supportive SOs out there who help us sexy girls out... we really do appreciate it! Jamie of course gets the :thumbsup:

:love:
Kaylee

[Shelly67]

My wife accepts Michelle , thank god ! Helps me with my dress sense , make up tips the lot .
:love:

[Tiffy]

My wife is my life saver. She is more OK with my dressing than I am. She loves it had has helped me greatly.

Tiffany

[Claudia Zylindrias]

First Wife, I told her before we got married and she said that was fine and never said anything when iwas wearing stufff around the house. After we got married it was a HUGE problem.

Girlfriend of now 4 years and we live together. She has know from the start and she loves it, we shop together, have girl nights etc. She is the best thing in the world.

[PatriciaCD]

My SO insists that i dress when she is around me. There is the rare occasion when she wants D***** around but she prefers Patricia.

[KLUP]

so is not accepting at all been married 16years. Every once in awhile she finds my colths and cuts them up in little pieces and leaves them on the bed.

[Mz Stiletto]

Yes, I'm fortunate that my wife is "accepting and supportive." However, this doesn't tell the whole story (what poll could?). Clearly, it isn't always easy for her and, consequently, us. For example: when I do dress it is rarely at home which, of course, means that Mrs Sheena is home alone - I have to admit this is not the best thing for our marriage. I try hard to temper my need to dress with what's best for the both of us.

[Ashly]

My wife is accepting most of my clothing however, when I put on a bra she gets uncomfy. It is not about the bra..It is the fact that my boobs are in shape and very well noticeable. She fears people laugh about me (..or us) when being out in public.

[az_azeel]

Good poll ... i'm glad that i told Alexis the day we met... I love her more and more each day.. she's a great girl..:love:

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Tammi

I picked the last one ... but I would won't I? People tell me all the time that I'm living the dream, and certainly from my perspective, they're absolutely correct .... and not just for crossdressing reasons either. I grant you, having a wife who describes herself as "trans- amorous" and looked to date a cder before she met me isn't exactly common place in the world.

Hugs
Rachel

[TerriM]

We are married 35 yrs. I told her after 10 yrs. I get out about 1 or 2x a month. Some of my femme clothes are in our closet. Hardly ever talks about it. I go to the fantasia fair each year for the last 8 yrs. I guess Im luckier than most.

Terri

[jenny logan]

My wife didn't find out I was a lifelong CD until I admitted it to her 20 years into our marriage. She was far angrier about the deception of my secret life than she was about the actual crossdressing. Fortunately for us she has gone to great lengths not only to understand and accept it but also to accomadate the desires all of us CD's have. From being able to dress regularly to sharing closet space to shopping for clothing she has allowed my alter ego to become an intregal part of our marriage. With a lot of open and honest communication we have defined boundaries and established reasonable expectations. So far since the two years that have passed since the dreadful day I came out she has met the challenges that my crossdrssing has posed to our relationship with great empathy, compassion and good humor. It wasn't easy and it requires a lot of continuing hard work on both our parts but our marriage is in far better shape since I told her.
I feel for my fellow sisters that do not have the luxury of expressing their femininty in an open and trusting setting because of SO's that can't come to terms with their partners desires.
It's not for everyone but the one thing that she told me that has stayed with me is that at least she will never get bored wondering what I will look like every time I step out of the bedroom.

Jenny L.

[Paula G]

My wife says she's supportive of my need to dress, but I only dress in front of her when she says it's OK, so as not to ruin a good thing.

[Sodapop]

I picked "Generally Accepting"

She says I can do it whenever I want. Unfortunately, I only get a chance to dress a short while once a week or so, behind the bedroom door. (kids around). She does not participate. Occasionally we share an easy joke about it. She's not repulsed by me when I am dressed, but she doesn't look at me very much. I'm careful not to turn it into an inconvenience for her. She doesn't mind when I look at stuff for me when we're shopping.

Sodapop

[zencat-x]

Early on I told my girl friend and she put this big grin on her face as said: I know how to have fun with this. I am blessed.

[sfwarbonnet]

I would say tolarates it, but "I don't want to know it if you are wearing intimate apparel" and "I will say I don't know you if you have to go to the ER". Although they often fit, she is very assertive about what are her clothes and what's mine. Although I have "borrowed" a few things (like the bra I'm wearing now), I would call her wardrobe masculine - no everyday skirts or slips and she wears dressesm skirts, slips, bras and pantyhose only when she "has too". It appears that she doesn't want to dress like a girl; but I do!

[dskin]

My S/O is very supportive and accepting.What a great friend she has been for me and she never says anything that would make our lives crumble.:hugs:

[uknowhoo]

Thanks again everyone for your responses. :hugs:

As with Jenny Logan's situation, my wife was more upset about the secrecy thingy than the actual dressing... though that ( understandably) took a lil time to come to terms with as well. :o

I hope that the response to this poll will give some hope to our sisters here who have not come out yet, or are still struggling with this issue in their marriages.

Bet wishes, and good luck to you all.

Love,

Tammi



p.s. Klup, I'm so sorry to hear of your situation... that's just awful!!!! :( Granted, the only thing I know about your relationship is this little bit you posted, but your status quo - and the destruction of the clothes thingy - sound wholly unacceptable to me. :thumbsdn::thumbsdn: I don't know if you've tried counselling together, or maybe you're cool with agreeeing to disagree, but I don't know how you let things continue like this. :strugglin If you're interested, post a new thread about your situation, and maybe get some feedback that may be helpful. In any case, take care and good luck. :hugs:

[patriciacd40]

She knows I like it and doesn't mind playing around a bit. I don't know if it would go out of the bedroom or further than some lingere. we'll keep trying

[terrilynn]

When my wife first discovered my secret, she was quite shocked, to say the least. Several days of tension and lots of questions followed, then nothing. She knows, but has not participated. Maybe someday................

Terrilynn

[NovaScotia]

Sally, you are so lucky. I have been told that you make your own luck. I am struggling with how, when and if I will tell my wife. Will I be lucky?

Debora Jane,

I have found out throughout the years that my dressing surfaces at stime of stress, like holidays. Getting to dress and enjoy the time is cathartic, not being able to is frightful.

[Roberta Lynn]

Tammi, I voted Accepting and supportive, God bless her . My wife has know about my cross dressing since before we got married. We've been together 40+ years now and are still learning, adjusting, compromising with the whole CD experience .
If I could stop CDing and still be the same person would she be happy? Yes
Would she ever ask or try to force me to stop ? Never!

She's always been there for me and for my part I know she needs to have her guy around too. Like I said 40+ years and still a work in progress, but we've never been happier. :happy:

[susie evans]

i have been very blessed in that reguard she is also susie's best friend and there is also some boundries that i stick to :hugs:

susie

[Imogen_Mann]

Wonderfull new BBW girlfriend accepts me, we go shopping together.... I am SO happy, and hey.... She borrows MY clothes !!

God bless you Helen ! :love:

[Mary Jane]

I'm in the "Tolerates - don't ask/don't tell" category. This is unlikey to improve since she refuses to sit down and discuss it.

[Trish]

My wife actually got me into my first dress, she started it all for me.

[NaomiLynn]

Very Unaccepting, it's so sad..


NaomiLynn

[sissystephanie]

My dear late wife was in the very accepting and supportive group. As many of you already know, I told her before we were married. She was so acceptive that we wore matching white silk lingerie at our wedding, and on our wedding night. Well, that part did not stay on long!

The only rule she had was that I could not dress openly when our two children were around. When they got on their own, everything went. We used to shop together and go out to eat as two girls. I had that beautiful, loving girl as my bride for almost 50 years before I lost her in 2005. And yes, I still do miss her!

Sissy

More Girl than man sometimes

[MJ]

Accepting and supportive, God bless her (him)

now if this poll was in the gg section what do you think the responce would be ??

well my wife was not accepting at all thats why she is my ex

[shauna 9]

My wife has always been supportive

[Delila]

I made sure to tell my wife before we were married. To me that was just a huge lie that I would not be able to keep up. I'm not sure if I wouldnt have married her if she had not accepted but I honestly dont think that our marriage would be as strong as it is.

[Angie G]

My wife is about 98% OK with it :hugs:
Angie

[Joy Carter]

Unsporting but won't demand I stop. Just worries about what others would say if they knew. She won't talk about unless she gets upset. Then she's totally unreasonable. I guess I'm lucky that she's still here. It's would much easier on her if she would just talk, and realize that this is not going away.

[Suzie Green]

My wife is 100% OK with it and is my biggest ally and supporter. She helps me shop, gives me makeup tips and even picks up things for me at the store that she thinks I might like. When I recently came out to my kids (ages 25 & 30) she was by my side with her story about how we were a team with this. When I decided to go out in public for the first time, she made sure everything was as good as it could be and then walked along side me with her head held high. I couldn't ask for a better partner! :love:

[DarcyAnne]

You are lucky, Suzie. Does she have a sister?

[Carol A]

I have dress since we were married and the wife doesn't think about it one way or the other. She tells me I'm still her man no matter what cloths I'm wearing. Now she always tell me to dress and act like a proper lady not a teenie bopper or a tramp.:hugs:

[Veronica Fallon]

Mine actually prefers me en-femme, & gets grumpy if I don't dress almost daily. :mad:

Weird but true!

Veronica

[CDmarci]

I dont know how it works my curent GF knew abought my crossdressing before we got togeather.She was a friend of my ex wife or at least an aquaintance and my ex outed me to everyone.I told my ex before we got married and she was very suportive for the first few years of our marriage but as time went on she decided she could not deal with the fem me.My curent GF knows but does not want to see me dressed she likes the hard biker guy that i am.Could go on and on but WHY!

[Shelly67]

Thankfully mine is supportive , but I think she,s a little wary , as she saw an adult movie of mine ( t- girls ) left in the dvd player by accident .
I am blessed with a patient and loving wife. My only wish is that I,d come out to her sooner......

[Suzie Green]

You are lucky, Suzie. Does she have a sister?

LOL DarcyAnne, she has 2 of them...but I wouldn't wish them on the devil himself! :heehee: I picked the cream of the crop. :hugs:

[gretchenD]

My girlfriend Nikki is 100% accepting and supportive.My girlfriend likes my femme side,she feels my femme side is very caring,soft and feminine,She love shopping with me and I am one of best friends in her life.She always tells me that I am beautiful and calls me Gretchen when I am dressed as my femme side.

[Darla in Pa.]

last night she says I bought this makeup and don't like it you try it and see if you do. About fainted but got over it quickly (wanted to grab it out of her hands) but gave her a kiss and told her how great she is. I'ts a little light but I will cherish it just because she thought of me, Major hurdle I think


Darla

[Lydia Hamilton]

My wife is accepting and supportive. I shared the big "SECRET" with her before we became seriously involved. It's who I am. Neither of us understand the reason for Crossdressing. I have my own theorys. She knew this part of me was permanent and came with the package. I may sound insensitive when I say that if someone doesn't accept a person for who they are, well prehaps it is not a good matchup. I have wasted to many years worrying about other folks opinions. L

[marykrissmithcd]

Unaccepting wife/SO

[Valerie]

Thanks, Tammy, for starting this poll. The results are so amazingly positive that they confirm my feeling that the risk and damage of hiding is greater than the danger of sharing.

My wife is very supportive and in fact has told me she likes Valerie more than my macho person, who tends to be assertive, arrogant and much too sharp, while Valerie, I think, is loving, sentimental and defers to her. What fun it has been to shop together and how much I like when she consults with me about an outfit! Not that the many earlier decades have not been good, but I suspect they would have been better had I had the courage to accept and affirm what I liked to be and do. Well, better late than never!

Valerie:GE:

[Mitch23]

I'm quite encouraged - moved up the scale from unaccepting to tolerant!

nitch

[Jaydee]

HI all,
I voted "haven't come out, but hope to". It would be unfair to charactorize my wife as "unaccepting". She knows and accepts that I wear womens panties, nearly daily. She doesn't like lace. For nearly a year, she has know that I occasionally wear pantyhose, but she has asked that I not do it in front of her, although, I think she may be coming around. I have not attempted her acceptance on my more extensive CDing, but I have hope.
I am envious, and made hopeful, by the multitude of respondents, that indicated varying levels of acceptance by their so's.

Jaydee

[Sarah Rabbit]

My lady is pretty cool about it. I would imagine she would have preferred for me to be a regular 'Husband', but she knows 'Sarah' is as much as part of my persona, as my male side.

Sarah R. :bunny:

[rachellenicole]

VERY Supportive!!!

Rach

[Joni Beauman]

I am surprised by the results of the poll. About 62% fairly or quiet supportive. Hmmm. Its seems a little high from what I expected. Such might not be true in a completely random poll. Maybe a greater proportion of unsupportives in this sample are out of those relationships... I marked Don't Ask Don't Tell...but like others described, there are occasional points of light. I wonder how the results would look if the SO responded. Joni

[Rhonda in dallas]

:hugs:When I told my wife she did a lot of reading. We have talked for hours. We still have our days but for the most part everything is going good. Last weekend she ask if I wanted to go looking for a new wigand make up. I think she has been great and I could not get by with out her.

Rhonda

[Lovely Rita]

The poll indicates that most of our partners are at leaste aware of our crossdressing. So far, only about 30% of the members have SOs that do not know.

I think it is wonderful that most of our partners know.

They can't change their perception of crossdressing if they do not know we:love: crossdress.

[Tina B.]

Very supportive, She shops with me, and for me. Always remembers Tina for Christmas and Birthdays. If I have not dressed in a while and seem tense, she is the one that will tell me to go put on a dress.
The day I came out to her, I was scared of how she would take it, but to my surprize she got up and took me shopping. We bought dresses, under things, and shoes. All new (I had been a thrift store shopper up until then) it has been that way every since, for Thirty years. She used to be my wardrobe conultant, now I'm hers!
I feel very lucky to have found someone so understanding, I know it is not what she bargined for, but she took it with grace and compasion. I am one lucky gurl!
Tina B.

[Debbie new]

My partner tolerates me dressing up, when i first told her she was shocked and didn't want to even discuss it. Over time i dressed in front of her and she realises my femme-side is part of who i am, i am glad i told her, as there is no secrets between us, and i know she loves me for who i am. She has even used my make up, so it benefits her having a Cd for a partner.

[uknowhoo]

I'm lovin the energizer bunniness of this thread.. it just keeps going and going!

I very much enjoy reading your responses and, like others, am quite pleasantly surprised at the numbers. While I do feel for our sisters who haven't been as fortunate in coming out, I feel this thread should be a source of hope to many others who are considerring it. The chances of having the dressing at least tolerated (my initial goal/hope, which has been exceeded btw) are quite good according to this poll @ 6.5 to 1 ! :)

As noted by Joni, this is obviously not very scientific poll, but given a) the abiltity of respondents to just vote in the poll anonymously, without posting, and b) the invitation to participate given to those who are or were in a relationship, I wouldn't expect the "real" numbers to be that terribly far off. Now I'm not a statistician, but I wouldn't mind pretending to be one... a cute one, with a rather short skirt, cute top and to-die-for heels...

:p

[Annette_boy]

She was very supportive and we were best GF's and she knew throughout our 30 year marriage we wore matching nighties on our wedding night.
Unfortunatly She Passed away about 3 years and 4 months ago and ai mostly live and work as Annette now
Great poll
:hugs: Annette

[scherylnmke]

My wife:hugs:has been the best!! After the inital 20 questions, it just keeps getting better. We shop with/for each other, she helps with make up tips--She's the best in the world!! I still know where the boundaries are and observe them to keep the balance.

[Victoria Anne]

To say Mrs.M is accepting and supportive is actually an understatement . I told Mrs.M just prior to our first date , that was 11 years ago . Mrs.M helps me in evry way she can and does buy for me and make suggestions and goes out with me , she has even given her approval for me to leagally change my name next year and said she would marry Viccy. I am sooooooooo lucky to have found such an incredable woman , a truely amazing soul mate. I love you Mrs.M :love:

[Meg East]

She is accepting as long as we maintain our boundaries. I came out to her about ten years ago. At the time our marriage was having trouble, I was depressed and on Prozac. I decided that a little honesty wouldn't hurt. I was tired of suppressing my life long need to dress fem. In the beginning she wasn't happy but as time went on she noticed I was less depressed and no longer needed the drugs.

Last week she told me that my crossdressing cured my depression. (She is right.)

[prettieboy]

i'm not buying it, there;s not that many accepting ggs. if so where are they. an accepting gg is almost as mentally ill as us cds. truth hurts .

[ColleenShivas]

This is a very encouraging poll. You have to believe that the responders represent a wide crosssection of the CD community, and about 80% of our SOs are at least tolerant. If I had known this when I was younger, I might have come out to my own SO a whole lot sooner.

[Mercedes]

My wife is in the tolerates category. However, she is a very accepting, tolerate person in everything else. If any of her friends told her that their husband was a crossdresser she would be very supportive. Just not her husband.

Mercedes

[goofus]

i'm not buying it, there;s not that many accepting ggs. if so where are they. an accepting gg is almost as mentally ill as us cds. truth hurts .

Mentally ill?? Run, don't walk, to your nearest "head shrinker" if you think crossdressing=mental illness

[allisonrn06]

Lately my wife has not only accepted it, she has been encouraging me in it and I can't tell you all how good it feels to finally have someone that I can talk to face to face about it!!

[Rachael502]

Quite supportive, as long as we're at home.....we do shop together.....tolerates a bit of makeup if we're out at night.....

[KarenEdwards]

My wife has known about Karen (although that name did not exist for me until years after our marriage) since we were dating way, way back in the 1960's. Over the years, however, she has grown to be completely non-supportive and becomes hostile whenever the subject of crossdressing comes up. I no longer initiate any discussion concerning it, preferring to avoid the inevitable confrontations, lingering bitterness, and verbal abuse that comes with it. Even if she sees something related to crossdressing on a television show, it reminds her of it and off she goes. Comments like "look at that pervert" or "why would any real man do that?" are common. I now just ignore her, saying that I really don't want to talk about it. Now that I have retired, I've lost nearly all opportunity to allow Karen out of her closet and I really, really miss it.

Sorry this comment got to be a bit longer than I intended...

[dee4127]

my wife has known about dee for 30 years. she is very helpfull. We do everything together have for years. Now she has talked me into going out and doing things while dressed and we are having even more fun.

[RebeccaLynne]

but I wouldn't want to jinx it! Having told my girlfriend a mere two weeks ago, I've been heartened by her response. After heart-to-heart talks and the usual questions, she has expressed a willingness to have me dress for her. As you can imagine, I'm quite enthusiastic! We've planned for my debut this weekend, and I'm so looking forward to it! Unless there's an unforeseen disquietude in her demeanor, I'm optimistic as to her reaction.
And I've told her I won't be offended if she laughs; as long as she doesn't cry I'll be happy!
Thanks for the poll, Tammi.
If it all works out, I'll be voting with the majority.:D

[Marissa^^]

I envy those of you who have a wife who is accepting and dream of a wife who would be participatory and helpful. I was caught a few years ago in partial dress when my wife came home unexpectedly. I confessed and told her almost everything. It was a difficult time and almost caused our marriage to break up, more on my part than on hers. I made many excuses and ended up telling her that I didn't need to do this anymore and for a while it was true. Currently she thinks I no longer dress anymore and if she were to find out again I don't know nor want to know what would happen. I love her too much to take that risk but really would like to be in the place where the largest majority of those answering the poll seem to be.

Marissa

[silkandsatincd]

I am hoping for greater acceptance as time goes on, considering I recently told her after being married for 7 years. She is slowly bring it up in conversation, mentioning the word "crossdresser." I figure after a while the initial shock of being married to a CD will wear off, and she will become more accepting. At least that's what I hope!

[XdressingSlave]

After about 3 years of being married to my wife, I slowly brought it up.
Well now we are into the marrage 17 years and she likes me to dress up whenever I can. If the kids are at school, she's wanting me to invite "Susan" over. Since "Susan" is such a great girlfriend to her, she loves it!
Now my wife is intested in being the dominatrix and I am her slave but I have to dress how she wants to see me in for the day. I then enjoy doing some housework while she supervises.
Quite fun I say! Nothing like a nice frilly apron while doing the dishes

[Nicole Erin]

Well she tolerates, don't ask don't tell.

She is kind of a b**** about it sometimes. ehh about a lot of things...

[Joni T]

As one of my cd'ing friends put it, "She's accepting but not enthusiastic".

[Michelle04240]

Had a bump or two along the way but she is very accepting and supportive. More then I could have hoped for. I <3 her so.

[carsoncitypanties]

It really depends on her mood.
There have been times that she acts completely against me dressing (panties are my thing, no desire to wear any other womens clothes) but on the other hand, she has bought me panties, suggested I wear them during the day. She has ever taken hers off and had me wear them during sex.
So all in all, I never can be too sure how she'll react.

[XdressingSlave]

It really depends on her mood.
There have been times that she acts completely against me dressing (panties are my thing, no desire to wear any other womens clothes) but on the other hand, she has bought me panties, suggested I wear them during the day. She has ever taken hers off and had me wear them during sex.
So all in all, I never can be too sure how she'll react.

Maybe she is interested in you dressing but she is a little too closed up. Many people think it is WRONG and it should not be done. If you are a man, dress like one. But with many women (including my wife), it took a few years for her to really understand that it is not bad, it doesn't hurt anyone, and that both parties can have fun with it. With my wife now being so supportive, she will instigate things quite a bit. Even this morning, I had an email from her (she loves to communicate with "Susan" this way) and she had invited her for a day of chores and fun.
Once your SO is accepting of your interests, slow and easy wins the race. She may slowly accept it and in time, enjoy it.

[wishonastar]

But we do not talk about it. I do not talk about my female feelings or desires it freaks her out!

I suspect she thinks that I might CD when she is not home and does not say anything. I do not CD, afraid of getting caught.

[XdressingSlave]

wishonastar,

Have you tried to ask her why it freaks her out so much?
I know I explained to my wife that it is not hurting anyone and she agreed.

[wishonastar]

Mentally ill?? Run, don't walk, to your nearest "head shrinker" if you think crossdressing=mental illness

Mental ill is reference to the Normal. If most people were CDing then it would not be mentally ill.

If 50% of the worlds population were bisexual then it would be normal and not mentally ill as some feel.

Is it mentally ill to wake up at 5am drive to work for 1 1/2 hours in stress full traffic,get home at 7, spend maybe 1/2 with the family? I think so but it is normal so it is not considered a obsession or obsessive compulsive disorder or mentally ill.

Is gender confusion in all it's forms mentally ill. No it is just different. But to the rest of the world it is mentally ill.

[wishonastar]

wishonastar,

Have you tried to ask her why it freaks her out so much?
I know I explained to my wife that it is not hurting anyone and she agreed.

It does not matter any more. She is in her own world and so am I. The only things that keep me home is my kids and house. What she thinks about me is no longer a concern.

[Marcie Sexton]

mine is a keeper....wouldn't trade her for all the tea in china...

[feminineandproud]

i feel great to the amount of people who have very supportive So's. It makes me feel good that one day I'll be sleeping with a women while wearing panties XD

[marykay1957]

my wife dose not like that I dress but she dose bye my panties for me just none with lace on them

[SherylynJade]

I told my angel before we moved in together. She laughed at first, and only nowand then just pokes fun at me occasionally when I'm dressed (which is pretty much all the time at home). But she does it in fun. Calls me her girly man:D

[rebeca_abigail30]

Unfortunately, my DW wants nothing to with my CDing. She wishes it would go away. Although, she has told me that as long as our kids don't see it, and as long as she doesn't know when/where I do it, she doesn't care.

[Miranda269]

Funny thing is for us/me, it was my wife who first brought the dressing up, beginning with lingerie, and now complete outfits. We are very much each others best freinds and share all allowable time together.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Very supportive :)

So long as she gets her husband when she needs him ;)

Life is Gooooooooooood!

[Kelsy]

My wife and I share clothes and everything. There was a time that if an issue arose or an argument ,about anything ,when I was dressed, I would begin to get undressed. My wife said that that infuriates her! She told me that if we are arguing then Kelsy was going to just have to stick around and deal with it:eek:

:happy:Kelsy

[Melora]

I just had a really interesting run in the other night, AND yeah SHE is accepting, but just kinda shy to it.. My wife told me, that "AS long as I am a GREAT husband and provider and give her lots of Love", Then she will accept me, "NO MATTER WHAT!!".. I am sad for the poor soles who do not have the same gift and go through the other realm.. My heart goes out to you all.. Just please read AND "PLEASE", Tell them early in the relationship!!!!!, As I did not. My best advise!!

[Cassy11]

I have a very supportive wife. I can see I'm not the only one. She shops for clothes and jewelry for me. I can't express how much I love her.

[Dawn Marie]

My wife knew I use to dress, but doesn't know I still do. But other than that she is totally againts me dressing. So I would have to say Unaccepting SO.

[Michelia]

Tammi, this is a good poll. It is great to know our spouses our so OK with it all. Maybe there is hope that further acceptance within society is coming. At the workplace, etc.

Somehow I still think we are not getting all the replies from the negative side. The numbers just seem a little high on the accepting side when you peruse past threads on this subject. Maybe it is just harder for those in unaccepting relationships to vote here. Still, the poll has a lot of merit and it cannot be THAT much off.

Maybe it is the positive effect of this site. As more of us become members and our SO's see it is possible to marry CDs the numbers increase.

Maybe we need to start a secondary poll where we can determine how this site has influenced members and spouses by encouraging CDs to come out and spouses to work through the issues!

I have a wonderful SO that is so accepting and loving of my cding that I really do not always deserve her. She wants to take Michelia out shopping and dancing and drinking and out with the family on little outings. Her 10 year old and my 7 year old want to do this too. They are also very accepting and encouraging. But daddy is a wuss and keeps all the fun at home!

Michelia

[jayelle]

I voted "accepting and supportive", although it's very early days. I told my wife a couple of weeks ago. We had a chat for an hour or so. She said she was glad I had told her because "it is part of who you are" and then she:

-- gave me a selection of make-up products (and a drawer to keep them in)
-- gave me a make-up lesson
-- let me rummage through a selection of old clothes she was about to give away, and keep anything I wanted. She gave me some wardrobe space, and the next day she went out and bought me a bra as a surprise.

I'm realistic enough to know that there might still be a problem or two along the way, but for her initial reaction alone, she gets the top vote. An amazing woman.

[Alandra]

It may not be as bad for those of you in serious relationships as it may seem at first glance. My wife had dropped hints while watching movies, etc, that she had no tolerance for CD. I took an enormous gamble, when I could no longer stand the repression, and IT BLOODY WELL WORKED! She told me tonight that she finds panties in the sack a turn on, and is a little disappointed with the limited capabilities of my current stash.

Of course, who can say how your situation will play out when you come out, but it has been extraordinarily surprising & positive for me.

Keep the faith, Ladies.....