HELP!! my mind is in termoil

[Jennilouise]

Hi all

I know his has been posted on here sometime ago, but i am at my wits end and i have talk to my partner about this. Should i tell my perants that i am a cd? and if so what would be the best way (if any).

So how can you help well it is advice i need really

Many thanks

Jenni
xx

[KandisTX]

Jenni,

That is a decision you must make for yourself. While some of us have had success with discussing our CDing with SO, Mother, Sisters, etc... not all goes as planned. You should ask yourself a few questions first.

1. Are they open minded enough?

2. How do you handle things if they do not accept?

3. What will it do to your relationship if they don't?

I know some of those are hard to answer, but you have to figure out these things before bringing it up with them.

Kandis:love:

[MsEva]

Jenni,

That is a decision you must make for yourself. While some of us have had success with discussing our CDing with SO, Mother, Sisters, etc... not all goes as planned. You should ask yourself a few questions first.

1. Are they open minded enough?

2. How do you handle things if they do not accept?

3. What will it do to your relationship if they don't?

I know some of those are hard to answer, but you have to figure out these things before bringing it up with them.

Kandis:love:

Yup,what Kandis said. Think it through. Only you will know what is right. I personally couldn't tell my mom.

[sandra-leigh]

In addition to what has already been posted:

You need to know what your reason is for telling your parents.

There are lot of different reasons; for example, if you are planning noticeable transition, then that can be hard to hide and you (hypothetically) might feel that it is better to tell them on the hope of acceptance rather than essentially hiding from them from then on so that they don't find out. Or you might be sick of discouraging them from coming around in case they happen to catch you dressed. Or you might be sick of not being able to dress because of the fear that they would drop around and catch you dressed. Or you might be wanting to shock them, or might be wanting to convey to them "Look, I'm a grown up now and I'm going to live my life the way that is important to me instead of always doing what my family thinks should be done!" Or lots of other reasons.

What is it that you are hoping to gain by telling your parents? Is it worth the potential loss?

I am not at all discouraging you from telling your parents, merely adding some potential focus for your thinking.


But what do I know? I've fretted and pros-and-cons'd and best-cased and worst-cased lots of different major decisions... and in the end I usually end up going with "I don't really know why I'm doing this, but somehow it seems important to me!". Rationality can help define what the various factors are that have to be considered, but ultimately, rationality cannot decide the "right" weighting of the various factors.

[Kimberly]

While that is a decision you must make yourself, I can offer my experiences coming out to my parents.

I was going through my, "I must be a woman, and tell someone," phase during my closeted months, and thought that it was about time to tell the parents. I'd been struggling with the idea for some months. After my girlfriend leaving me - whom adored my fem side - I wanted a little more freedom in the house, at least that was the aim. Being in my room, alone, I was stuck whilst being en fem - and more importantly whilst my parents were out!

So, I did tell them. I sat them down, and spoke very seriously. (I did cry loads though... but that's just me.) Firstly, my mother just thought I liked dressing up... but I soon told her otherwise. My dad remained pretty silent. Afterwards, my mother and I spoke again, and it seemed my Dad hadn't taken it well. He very much loves me as a son (and still does), but fears that being my TG will remove any posibility of settling down and having children, (which my proffession will do more-so, and strangely enough he is fully supportive of that!)

My mother is fine with it, but doesn't really know what to do. She's seen me dressed, etc, and isn't completely phased - although I do keep this side of me away from them both.

Since moving away to college, I've been much happier, and come out fully. If not accepted by all, I've been tolerated by the majority who find it a problem - but the problem is theirs, not mine, and I've had no real trouble from friends.

So... my pointers would be: don't expect anything to change, other than they are in the know about yoour crossdressing. In fact, if anything changes, it'll probably be for the worse. If like me, however, you may be feeling that you have to do this - and I would follow that feeling, for your well-being. Your parents can always ask you questions.

Hope this helps
K xx

[Toyah]

I dont think you have to hun. I have never told mine although I am sure my mum who is the only one that would understand now would accept Toyah I see no reason to do so.
You have to make your own decision I hope it goes well if you decide to tell them

[SandyR]

I have no plans to tell mine ever, I figure with all the stuff I put them through growing up, they don't need any more surprises....

Hugs.

SandyR

[Lisa gg]

I am a new member and am a gg but I understand the struggles you are having about who and how to tell that you are a cd my husband and best friend cd and I have more fears than answers for you but I do know that you must do what your heart tells you and do what it takes to make it possible for you to live at peace with yourself. No one asked to be born with what those who call themselves "NORMAL" whatever that is think is crazy or just an act they have not walked in your shoes and until they do they have no right to judge. Best of luck to you and I hope that we both learn alot on this sight to help us understand and do the things we need to do. YOU GO GIRL! Hang in there Peace Lisa gg

[DAVIDA]

Well, I told my mother over twelve years ago. I went over to my parent's house one night and just told her. Then I asked her to shorten a skirt for me!:heehee: She is a wonderful seemstress. She just said not to make a habit of it.:happy:

[Jennilouise]

Thanks very much so far for all the advice you have given me. I am sure that i will at someponit in my life tell my perants.

Many many thanks

J
xx

[BIANCA LEE]

Hi all

I know his has been posted on here sometime ago, but i am at my wits end and i have talk to my partner about this. Should i tell my perants that i am a cd? and if so what would be the best way (if any).

So how can you help well it is advice i need really

Many thanks

Jenni
xx
J I think that it is something I wouldn't tell my parents and I think you shouldn't either. But if you feel you really need to then the choice is totally yours. B

[Deidra Cowen]

You know your parents better than any of us. I have Tgirl friends here in Atlanta that have had good and bad experiences with telling their parents.

One friend even goes out to dinner with her parents enfemme and they really reacted well. She was scared about her Dad but he was even kewl about it. On the other hand I have a good friend who told her parents and they disowned her...I feel so bad for her.

Just think it out...if you are not going FT I really don't think its something you have to do. I have not told my mom...but she is an old Catholic Italian lady with old fashioned Southern values. So I just keep her in da dark.

But I think she knows something is up...but prob thinks I am gay judging by some Anderson Cooper (Gay CNN News Anchor) references she has made a few times out of the blue. :heehee:

[DonnaT]

When I told my mom I showed her pictures before I told her. She asked who it was, and that's when I told her. She's been quite accepting.

I knew she would be.

YMMV

[Jennilouise]

Yesterday i was around at my parents place having lunch and during the conversation the subject turned up of men wearing womens clothes which got my attention and the veiws of my parents. my dad was saying 'it is not right' and he seamed really off about it all but my mom was the other way sticking up for us and seamed to be very open minded about it which pleased me. so on that i am NOT going to come out t them as i think my dad would disown me on the spot but my mom would properly sit me down and talk to me about why i dressed, but i will never know now. so thank you to you all for the advice about this. my mine is now free of this.

Jenni
xx