I dont pass.

[StaceySA]

Hi girls
I went out this weekend fully dressed with my wife, she said i looked good enough to pass as a real woman. We went to this club and after about an hour i was caught out and asked to leave. I did'nt even talk to anybody or do anything but they could clearly see that i am not a lady. I am very disappointed and heartbroken, because ive been dressing for about 20 years in secret and now it all fell apart. I dont want to go out in public anymore and i doubt that i will ever crossdress again.
Can you please tell me what to do or change so as to pass??

[CarrieAnneEvers]

Hi girls
I went out this weekend fully dressed with my wife, she said i looked good enough to pass as a real woman. We went to this club and after about an hour i was caught out and asked to leave. I did'nt even talk to anybody or do anything but they could clearly see that i am not a lady. I am very disappointed and heartbroken, because ive been dressing for about 20 years in secret and now it all fell apart. I dont want to go out in public anymore and i doubt that i will ever crossdress again.
Can you please tell me what to do or change so as to pass??

Quite often your posture or walk will be a dead giveaway. If you look just like Jessica Beihl (sp?) but walk like a man, people are gonna think you're a man. There is a woman named Denae Doyle in California who offers an excellent video on fem movement, walking, etc. I can (usually) pass now thanks to her (or at least have people unsure whether I'm a guy or not.) Main thing is keep your knees close together and stand tall and erect. A lot of t-girls slouch because they are self-conscious about being tall. If you see someone looking at you with a confused look, just smile and walk confidently by and don't be ashamed and you will be fine.

A gay bar is a good place to get your feet wet. I know most of us are not interested in gay men, but it is a relatively safe and accepting place to start. They won't kick you out, and a lot of times the bartender will call you sweetie. I still get a kick out of that.

[Country girl]

Your pic is abit far away, so it is hard to give a good critique if that's what you really want. Clothes will sometimes give you away. Are you dressing age appropriate? If you are 40 and are dreesing in an outfit that is befitting a 22 year old that will give you away. Likewise style. You can't dress in an outfit designed for someone who weighs 125lbs if you weigh 225. I hope I'm making sense here. If you want to pass as a woman, you have to dress according to age and size. It does make a difference. Even if you are going to a club. If you can post a pic that is a closer shot we can try and give better advice. Thanks and don't give up. Often times first outings don't turn out the way you hope or had imagined. Attitude and confidence go along way to presenting the final picture. Keep your chin up, you'll get there! :hugs: CG GG

[Holly]

Stacey you haven't given us much to go on. Your picture is a bit grainy. But one thing does stand out and that is how you are standing in the picture. Ladies have a different way of carrying themselves than guys... everything from the way that they walk to how they move their hands while talking to how they hold a cigarette. Take some time and study how a woman walks, sits, uses her hands, it's really quite interesting. Spend some time at the mall and just observe. Maybe your wife would be willing to give you some pointers as well. Most of all, don't let one experience take away your joy. Perhaps a more T-friendly venue would be helpful as well.

[tracigirl_tv]

Stacey, I know that "passing" is the ultimate goal for many of us....but not all of us. I like to go to a regular gathering of dressers in my area, many of whom (like me) couldn't pass on their best day, and don't really give a damn. We are comfortable with ourselves and enjoy the company of like-minded sisters, and don't spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about what ignorant people may think. The venue is t-girl friendly, with admirers of both sexes welcome. That makes it safe from the shameful treatment you received at the club.

I can't tell you what to do to pass (otherwise, I'd do it myself *smile* and there are lots of girls who will be giving you good advice on that), but if you feel like forgetting about dressing after this experience, then can I respectfully suggest changing your mind-set? It's not all about passing, it's all about enjoying yourself.

I hope that time will heal the way you felt that night, Stacey.

*huggggg*

[CarrieAnneEvers]

Your pic is abit far away, so it is hard to give a good critique if that's what you really want. Clothes will sometimes give you away. Are you dressing age appropriate? If you are 40 and are dreesing in an outfit that is befitting a 22 year old that will give you away. Likewise style. You can't dress in an outfit designed for someone who weighs 125lbs if you weigh 225. I hope I'm making sense here. If you want to pass as a woman, you have to dress according to age and size. It does make a difference. Even if you are going to a club. If you can post a pic that is a closer shot we can try and give better advice. Thanks and don't give up. Often times first outings don't turn out the way you hope or had imagined. Attitude and confidence go along way to presenting the final picture. Keep your chin up, you'll get there! :hugs: CG GG

Excellent advice, CG. Are you near San Antonio? There is (was?) a great drag bar there called the Saint. Gosh, I miss that place. They let me participate in an amateur drag show once. I was aweful, but I had fun. Your pic is GORGEOUS, dahling.

[SatinDoll00]

Hi girls
I went out this weekend fully dressed with my wife, she said i looked good enough to pass as a real woman. We went to this club and after about an hour i was caught out and asked to leave. I did'nt even talk to anybody or do anything but they could clearly see that i am not a lady. I am very disappointed and heartbroken, because ive been dressing for about 20 years in secret and now it all fell apart. I dont want to go out in public anymore and i doubt that i will ever crossdress again.
Can you please tell me what to do or change so as to pass??

They asked you to leave? Wow. What a bunch of narrow-minded assholes!

I cannot pass either. For me, I think it is more the way I dressed and my makeup. I am still learning too. I think you look good enough to pass from what I see in the pic, but then again, it is not a very clear pic. Voice and mannerisms give us away as well.

Morgan

[Kate Simmons]

All good advice. The main thing is to be yourself and don't have any unrealistic expectations. You will be fine Hon.:happy:

[Violetgray]

Tips on passing? Hmm.. Well, observations my girlfriend made:

1.) Shirt was too tight. Hugs the male aspects of your figure, drawing attention to your shoulders. She said it was too tight, and too short.

2.) She didn't like the wig, because it framed the masculine features.

3.) No apparent body shaping. No pads or strategic clothing to accentuate the hips. Also, a larger cup size would draw attention away from your shoulders.

4.) Tights that are too deep are a dead giveaway.

[KimberlyS]

Stacey, I will ditto what Country Girl said. And IMHO the younger more trendy looks are harder to pull off for a TG. You do look good from what I can see. But a bit more conservative would draw less attention and second looks from other.

IMHO, being out "Passing" is optional. I go for a more blending look. Forget the clubs and go main stream. Go out to eat. Go to a movie. Go shopping. Go to the mall. Take your wife out on a date for being so wonderful and going out with you.

Asking you to leave was very narrow minded on their part. Sounds like a snooty club and I would not ever go back to it.

[Darlene Dippy]

Stacey

I understand "I dont pass" as you mean it! I am not very qualified to offer the advise you ask for, others are.

I make this observation, If you were there one hour in after the way you were being treated then for me "You pass".

:hugs:
Darlene

[Daintre]

Hi Stacey, I can't add to what already has been said...BUT....think though my dear, you have been at this for a number of years, it is a part of you and to add you have a very supportive SO. I suggest you step back and take a deep breath and re read the information passed on to you. You had an unfortunate outing and it hurt, I understand, I really do, so chin up and let the ladies see some pictures of yourself so they can offer advice. My advice is to watch women's movements and poise as they are so different than men. Good luck my friend, and don't stop going out, you have made a huge step forward.

[Stephenie S]

Hi girls
I went out this weekend fully dressed with my wife, she said i looked good enough to pass as a real woman. We went to this club and after about an hour i was caught out and asked to leave. I did'nt even talk to anybody or do anything but they could clearly see that i am not a lady. I am very disappointed and heartbroken, because ive been dressing for about 20 years in secret and now it all fell apart. I dont want to go out in public anymore and i doubt that i will ever crossdress again.
Can you please tell me what to do or change so as to pass??

So you went out for the first time and you didn't pass. Well, what did you expect, hon. You are a guy. It takes much practice to get even close to "passing", and not many get it on the first try. For many, perhaps you included, you will never "pass". So what? I don't "pass", and I go everywhere I want whenever I want dressed just the way I want. You have to get the "blend in" thing down. Look around you and try to dress the same way. Many will say, "Well, I should be able to dress how I want", and I even said that in the previous sentence, but you have to dress to blend in. You gotta get to the point where you don't attract much attention. That's what I do. Because, dear, you ARE going to be read. Make no mistake about it, almost no one can fool all the people all the time. So you have to dress so as not to offend when you are read. Any hint at ****tiness will be unwelcome. Dress your age. Dress nice.

Movement: You are going to have to "swish" it up dear. This is pretty hard for most guys because you have spent your whole life denying anything like this. But ya gotta do it!! Hold your arms in to your body, swing them, hold your wrists out, palms forward. Take MUCH smaller steps, much more quickly. Relax your body, make it looser. In your picture you seem very rigid, which is normal for a guy. Women are looser. And here's a biggy, . . . SMILE. Look at Karren Hutton's pictures. That's what I mean. I call it a "s**t eatin' grin", and you need it. Women smile all the time. They smile at each other, they smile at men, and they smile to themselves. SMILE. This signals that you are having fun and are relaxed. Two things you want to convey when you are out and dressed. When you meet someone, SMILE. People usually smile back. Once someone has smiled at you, it's very hard for them to be mean.

OK, that's enough for now. Don't give up. There's LOTS of help here. Just ask.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[RobertaFermina]

Dear,

the problem is not whether you pass as a woman, it is whether they pass as human. You are out there to have fun and join in, and they "have to" single you out and divide you from everyone else.

People so fear-based are just a problem...nothing to do with you.

Having to "pass better" to correct "their behavior" is a bit much to ask of anyone. It is also a sick energy to be mixing with your pursuit of CD happiness.

I wouldn't give it much mind. Keep working on your presentation for your own pleasure and fun.


Be Well !

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Stephenie S]

Dear Stacy,

OK, hon. I just looked carefully at the picture you posted and here come my comments:

Your top is too tight, and too short. Lower the neckline too. Maybe add some jewelry.

Your breasts are too big and too high. Maybe just lowering them would be OK.

Your skirt is too short and not nice enough for going out to a club.

Don't show any midriff. Too ****ty.

Wear lighter hose.

You have on dress shoes with a casual outfit.

Don't take any of this personally. "Passing", for most of us, is an art. It takes, like all art, work, and does not often come on the first try. Keep it up. The results are worth it.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[KirstyChibiMoon]

<giggles>
1st, who is grading this infamous "test"?
2nd, how do you study?
3rd, most CD's cant pass in a well lit enviroment... a) their adams apple is a dead give-a-way, cheek bone and facial hair.
4th, who cares?!?!? just go out and have fun!

[Kris]

Stacey,

Gosh, I am new.. so please have patience with my naive question but... can someone kick you out of a public place because you are dressed? I do live in Oregon, Portland to be exact and I can't imagine anyone doing something so rude and un-politically correct. Yeah, I know it's done, I have no doubt but they are idiots and have closed minds and I would venture to guess that this isn't the place to hang out anyway.

I have no suggestions for you but wanted to add my :2c: and to tell you how incredibly sorry I am for someones ignorance. You have my empathy and I truly am sorry.

I also read other things on this list and I wonder how many people think I am a man! LMAO! I am SO ungraceful, and have always been a tomboy... so there aren't many feminine things about me. However I am four feet, eleven inches tall... I am a shrimp.

Kris GG

[Sophie Haworth]

I know exactly how you feel, awful. To be asked to leave is sad.

There are so many factors and it really does take years of practice.

I have been dressing for many more years, and it is only the last 4 that I have been able to go out and pass, I have a few threads and pics.

The problem was for me, I believed what I saw in the mirror, and it just was not a true image.

I have changed hairstyles, my walk, the way I hold myself, I hide my legs they are a giveaway unfortunately, but I like trousers anyway.

I have said this before, one of the best ways to see how you look is to video yourself and then you will see things you have never noticed in a mirror. And you will spot things that you need to change.

Maybe if you had been trying to pass for 20 years and failed regularly, it would be time to think again, but for your first time out, I would keep practicing, that is fun anyway.

Sophie.

[Priscilla Ann]

I am more interested in why you were asked to leave. What kind of club was it? What was the dress code? When they asked you to leave did they give you an explanation as to why? Was there not someone at the door that let you in in the first place? :2c:

[StaceySA]

Thanks for all the advice. Ok let me explain...
First of the pic i posted is not the way i was dressed when i went out i had a long skirt up to my ankles, but almost the same kind of top.

There is two levels at this club when we went in we walked straight to the top level where there is not that much people. We hanged around there, had a couple of drinks and eventually went to the ladiesroom. Me and my wife went into one laterine together and when i was finished she went to sit on the toilet when we heard male voices in the room. They threw water and colddrink over the top of the stall and eventually one ASSHOLE forced the door open while my wife was sitting on the toilet!!! That is when he told us to leave.
LOL, i think they are the sissy's afterall because when we walked out all the guys was standing outside the ladies room "waiting for the fag" but not even one of them tried anything,lol, when im not stacey im quite capable of defending myself so i actually hoped one of them tried something so that i could get rid of my frustration and embarresment on him.
We are thinking of going back to that club (but me as my "male" self so that i can confront the guy that invaded my wives privacy).
Well it is over now and honestly i dont think ill have the guts to go out in public again, and even if i will ever dress again. Time will tell though and if i decide to dress again in future i will make use of all the advice ive been given here.

Thank you.

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

I agree with some of the comments about most girls really not passing. But that is not the issue. We have a right to be out in publis just like anyone else. Whoever asked you to leave the club was not only being grossly insesitive but just asking for a law suit.

There have been a number of cases where business have been sued for discrimination against t customers. Usually they are settled out of court. But there is certainly an arguement that your First Amendment rights were violated. I know litigation is always unpleasant but if more of us who take jerks like this to court the more educated business owners will become. Business people hate to be sued and the few that act this way need a wakeup call.

Hugs

Sasha Anne

[SatinDoll00]

I cannot believe that!! It makes me soooo mad! :Angry3:

I had a recent experience in which I was called out, but not like that! Goodness gurl, I didn't cause trouble when I was treated rudely, but I would have whooped a couple of asses if they had done that to me! Let me tell you, I am a brown belt in karate, and I would bet that getting kicked with a 4 inch heel would not feel so good! :)

Make sure you thank your wife for putting up with that, and then you go and find your girliest outfit, put it on, and get right back on the horse...um, so to speak.

Kudos to you for going out, and don't let them get to you...not everyone in the world is like that...thank goddess!!

Morgan

[StephanieH]

:2c:Off the top, your stance is a lot like a guy trying to look like a lady of ill repute. I think stance, posture, the way you walk, the way you sit, things like that, will give you away a lot faster than clothing. The photo is poor, but from what I can see, the makeup looks too heavy, the clothes just seem kinda' jumbled, and you're standing like a guy trying to be a girl.

Don't give up, you'll only make yourself miserable. Please take this as constructive criticism, not just criticism. I'm hardly perfect myself and I've yet to go out in public fully dressed, maybe someday! Keep trying, but remember, err on the side of caution. A more conservative look is going to attract a lot less attention and a lot less criticism.

Take care and have fun! This gives you an excuse to do more study! :D

[jannette]

Hey girl, passing is also a state of mind and depending on where you live it can be tough to find places that are
"accepting". Don't let this discourage you. One bad experience does not a T girls make so to speak. To be on the safe side in the future go to places that you KNOW are T accepting. Alternative lifestyle clubs, yes and even gay/lesbian bars. Find and communicate with some other girls in your area. They will know where and where not to go.

I don't consider myself overly passable but moderately so.
Hence, I don't let that hinder me but do still go out but with other girls and to places in our area that we know are accepting to who we are. Jannette in Utica

[Joyce1702]

I suspect now it was more your behavior than your appearance that caused the problem. Obviously things were ok when you were sitting there having drinks. The problem arose when you and your wife shared a stall in the ladies room. That is not normal behavior. Women go to the ladies room together, but don't share a stall. I would suspect someone reported that you were having sex in the rest room and that's why they acted the way they did.

I'm not defending their actions, they most certainly could have handled things much differently.

[Deidra Cowen]

I am so sorry you had that terrible experience at the nightclub...what city and country was this in???? A lot of the girls have made some good points. Let me just say for clubbin ya really got start off with the gay clubs where Tgirls are welcome. You figure out how to act and all that, then later ya can try more adventurous str8 clubs. (Thats saying you have gay clubs I got no idea...you could be in some small country town)

Passing is not being pretty!!!! I see Tgirls all the time that are more beautiful than almost all the GGs at a club. But...they are not passable since they have on wild ****ty cloths, heavy makeup and wear wigs. But they don't care! Just having fun...I do that look too sometimes esp for a crazy party or something.

But it was not your fault at the nightclub....I generally have done pretty well at staight clubs, but I did have one bad experience at a place called 'Run around sue's" It was a wild place with a very young redneck crowd. I learned my lesson! So I think you got unlucky in picking the wrong bar.

Oh yeah, next time guys harrash you like that...freaking tell the bar owner you want to call the police. That was assualt upon your wife. That might make him treat you better or at least throw those idiots out too.

[Connie D50]

I only go out about 4 times a year. First if you have not had a make over yet you have to try it they always do a better job then we ever can. Go on line in your area and look for trans friendly bars and restaurant. If you can't find one of those you can always go to a gay bar I do all the time. If you wife comes you can still have a nice drink and dance. Look up a local trans gender group they should beable to help with all the things you need (make-over Bar -Restaurant)

Connie

[DonnaT]

So, what was the name of the club, and where is it located?

By outing the club, they may lose some business.

[StaceySA]

It is in Johannesburg South Africa, The places name is Sombrero Tequila.
The problem here in South Africa is we dont have any Support groups for transgendered people. The white male population in general is very butch (me too when im not dressed) and sees anything else as being gay.
I've never even met another crossdresser before!
But anyways thank you all again for all the tips and advice.

[Sheri 4242]

I'm very sorry you had such a horrible experience, and I am deeply empathetic. That said, you really have given us several different issues to address . . . and now that we know this happened in South Africa, that fact alone changes a portion of what I was going to say, in re legalities. It would also have been beneficial for us to have seen a picture of how you were dressed that night, AND you should have told us right off about the bathroom incident, b/c I suspect that therein lies the basis for what happened.

To those of you who brought up legalities, we are not able to address that issue unless we live there and/or are educated in South African law. It would be like one of you UK sisters asking me about the legalities of something that happened to you in London, when the only thing I am qualified to help you with is "advice" from the other side of the pond -- and that advice would be somewhat restrictive b/c of where I live versus the fact that there are 50 states over here, each with their own statutues, and our federal laws if applicable . . and, well, it gets complicated.

Basically, in the U.S., a business owner has the right to refuse to serve you (unless you can prove interstate comerce is involved, which would give you leverage to go to federal constitutional law. All that said, actually you would have a case for assault in most U.S. jurisdictions -- and maybe something on privacy, although that aspect gets a little "iffy." In your favor (at least over here) is that they were serving you and problems didn't arise until you and your wife went to the bathroom. There, your wife moreso than you, would have the stronger case of being assaulted -- and of being denied an expected level of privacy (again, "iffy") -- and, more than anything, since you and your wife were being served with no problem, you would have, in many jurisdictions, civil recourse to the effect that the management and staff didn't act in your (your equalling you and your wife's) behalf, but rather allowed (and maybe perpetuated) an assault to occur. It would be very complex over here -- and I would presume the same is true where you live. The legal issues touch on both criminal law and civil law.

Forgetting the legal aspects, after trying to study your photo (which, as has been noted, is not the best for this purpose), I came up with a number of things to suggest, but then you tell us that this isn't how you were dressed. To be able to give you constructive and meaningful advice, this matters!

Okay -- so we go with what we can: from the photo you provided, I'd say you COULD pass with some work!!!

Stephenie and Violetgray both gave you great advice! (Others did, too. Like CG GG was telling you to be sure to dress age-appropriately. But we don't know if you were or weren't.) Concerning a few things (you said the top you wore was like what was in the photo) well, assuming that is accurate then the top was too tight and hugged the male aspects of your figure, and it was too short. From your photo, I'd agree that your boobs are placed too high, as well. If your make-up was about the same, you need to get a few makeovers and LEARN -- learn how to do it and how to feminize and soften your facial features!

And, like Holly and others have said, you need to practice, practice, practice on things like posture, how you carry yourself, and how you present yourself! There is only one way to do this: study GGs in everyday life, then practice until you've got it. Watch GGs at the mall, at the grocery store, at bars -- and make mental notes!!! Then, PRACTICE!!! It is sort of like make-up: GGs have been playing with it since they were young . . . and as they become older it becomes second nature. Don't think you can throw it on in 30 minutes without practicing it!!!

By the way, I absolutely LOVE to wear miniskirts!!!!!!! BUT, after much advice from my wife and after studying GGs, I have to admit that I am past teeny-bobber or coed days!!! I may still wear them around the house from time-to-time, but I have learned that I can still look stylish, and maybe even sexy, in age-appropriate clothing. It isn't all about the clothes anyway -- it is about the total look!!!

Don't give up -- not, at least if this is who and what you are. Just keep seeking critiques, keep practicing, and find the right places to go!!!

[LA CINDY LOVE]

So for years Stacey you have been dressing and you decide to go out for the first time to a club.....you get made.....and they ask you to leave the club, you are disappointed......hertbroken....... your 20 years of dress has fallen apart you do not want to go dress in public again and you do not want to ever dress again.

What happen to you happen to all of us it is called paying your dues and all of us had to pay dues to get were we are at no one gets a free ride, we have all had our world rock at one time (I sure did) and what we was stand our ground and NOT GIVE UP.

We work on our selfs and got better and stronger and got confidence in our self that can not be shaken, the way you carry your self and self confidence is what makes you pass.

We CD who go out for the first time can be out worst enemy, we dress like a CD our make-up is a bad and we wear the wrong wigs and we go to the wrong places it is like we set our self up to fell.

When you walk out that front door you better have thick skin, game and a killer instinct because you are going in to the real world if you go to the mall or the moves to get a drink or have something to eat you are in there world and you have to play by there rules and they want you to act and look like a woman.


LA CINDY LOVE

[_Cecilie_]

I'm shocked! We should not let our lives get affected by such behavior from people that are bad and hurtful. There is only one was to go on, and that is to "get up and keep walking" (whiskey not included, but can make it easier).

[Toyah]

Accept that you are a crossdresser and not a woman then you can pass

[Michelle (Oz)]

Some complex issues here and not being there makes it hard.

Several thoughts though. Never rely on passing. Always assume that you will be made. The aim if you don't want to attract attention to yourself is to blend, i.e. dress appropriately to your age and the circumstances. Smile and be considerate. Rest rooms are the most dangerous part of an en femme outing and sharing a stall just doesn't happen.

I sometimes wonder whether those who pass best are more likely to attract aggression when they are uncovered. Perhaps people don't like being fooled. Yet I speak with a male voice and am not hard to pick, but am treated as female and have never had a problem. My suggestion is to blend not pass.

Michelle (Oz)

[Robin Leigh]

I'm so sorry to hear about your unpleasant experience, Stacey. Congratulations on not losing your temper when they assaulted your wife. :thumbsup:

It must be tough being TG/CD in the macho world of SA.

But I hear it's even worse for black lesbians... :(

After this traumatic experience, you may not feeling like dressing up for a while. But trust me, the desire will return in time. :)

:hugs:

Robin

[ronna]

Who do you think you're fooling, Ms. BigStuff?
Come on, you may make a fine lady in your own mind and even on camera, but you don't honestly think anyone would believe you're a real girl, do you?
That's part of the deal, it's only pretend

[Nancie64]

It is kind of to bad that some people have be such a------s. Maybe they need to find their fem side and be a little more understanding. Maybe you just need to go to a place like Vegas and check in at the glamour botique and then go out on the town. Need to find a shop that can give us all some tips on make up, hair, dress and a few little lesons. Take your time, go for a walk, of course with you most comfortable heels on and do a little walking and shaking the butt. Good luck..:happy:

[lawnmanmo]

Hi girls
I went out this weekend fully dressed with my wife, she said i looked good enough to pass as a real woman. We went to this club and after about an hour i was caught out and asked to leave. I did'nt even talk to anybody or do anything but they could clearly see that i am not a lady. I am very disappointed and heartbroken, because ive been dressing for about 20 years in secret and now it all fell apart. I dont want to go out in public anymore and i doubt that i will ever crossdress again.
Can you please tell me what to do or change so as to pass??

Dear Stacey
Number 1.....Your dressing to ****ty and wayout of your age
Jerry

[crusadergirl]

Don't worry about it i don't pass either my voice and my walk is a dead givaway. Its not cool they kicked you out you have every right to be there dressed how you want to be. Never give up.

[valery]

I feel so sorry for you and I can deeply understand your reaction and your feelings, but please don't give up but please ...

... change the club not your soul !

this problem is not only a transgender-problem.

As example:
I have a gay-couple in my circle of friends and they had many similar experiences through their whole life.
They still together and they are still gay and they still go out as a gay-couple.

[faltenrock]

Hi Stacey,

don#t be to disappointed, at least your wife joined, which is great.
I don't pass eather, but what the hell, I don't care. I've never been asked to leave - but I don't pass.
It's very rare, that people comment on me. I have opened a threat with new pics from my last weekend. Out of about 1.000 people who've seen me, there was only one young guy, a teenager who said something stupid. All other people in stores, cafes, restaurants treated me with much respect.

Keep on, that experience is bad, bad you'll forget it.

[Paulacder]

Don't feeel bad Stacey, not many of us "Pass".......

[MsJanessa]

hi stacy---in addition to what every body said about your makeup, wardrobe, wig and deportment(try not to stand "like a guy") I would suggest for your first outings you try a trans friendly venue, like your local gay bar on drag night---you will feel much more comfortable and at ease and will probably be much more accepted--- also to stand and walk like a lady, try balencing a hard cover book on your head and walk around your living room every night. Also I would suggest a slightly longer skirt or dress with some padded panties, a girdle/waist cincher and bra with falsies underneath your outer clothes and for the wig see a professional beautician who sells them and get her advice as to what frames your face---don't worry they deal with x--dressers all the time and generally are very understanding---if you have any doubts---talk to her about it first. and remember "passing" is a state of mind----if you have confidence in you then you will pass and even if you don't it wont matter to you.