Ever pretend to be gay to fit in?

[christianna]

I know a lot of you are straight... but I also know that the easiest place to go out in women's clothes and have some fun in most areas is a gay bar... I was going to try to explain why i was asking but it took so much time and space it bored me... so I'm just asking without explanation... I'm asking this of bisexual men too... have you ever pretended you were flat out gay for a gay audience?

[RobertaFermina]

Nope.

I frequent Gay bars for the same reason - fun, safe.

I am encountering people, places, things, ideas, and emotions that I avoided in the past. I am OK that this may influence or change me.

I am learning how to relax, embrace, air-kiss, and lip-kiss men and women as natural social behaviors. I am learning Gay lingistics/idioms, and use many. OH....MY.....GOD! I am learning some aspects of gay culture, and adopting those that suit me.

I present as Roberta, and do not style myself as Gay. I do discuss my openness to relationship with men "through the heart first." That doorway seems to be different than most Gay men, so I don't see that as "assimilating" or "pretending."

I am acculturating - and open to my orientation evolving according to my heart, not to anyone's expectations or for anyone's comfort or acceptance.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Karren H]

Never.... Never been in a gay bar and actually never been in a bar enfemme... I lead a shelterd life!! hehe


Karren

[chucks]

i don't care about fitting in. enough that it makes others uncomfortable at times. i just can't be dishonest like that.

[Phoebe Reece]

I've been in a number of gay bars. You have to handle each situation differently. If the subject comes up in conversation, I usually let people know I'm straight. If some guy is making a pass at me, how I handle that depends on how drunk he is. It's often best to just indicate I am already in a committed relationship (without further explanation). Pretending to be gay in a gay bar when you are not is kind of like pretending to be a GG in a straight bar when you are not. It can lead to complications....

[JeanneF]

Kind of. My "male persona" is rather effeminate, so many people assume I'm gay. If outright asked, I usually refer to myself as a "flaming heterosexual", but I tend not to discourage the assumption.

[angelfire]

I've never been in a gay bar, nor have I ever really pretended to be gay. I don't have anything against it, and once I'm ready to go out dressed, it will probably be to a gay bar.

[wannabie]

Sort of.

a long time ago, that would be my second time in a beauty salon, I was getting a makeover. the women were talking about their husbands and thought I was gay. so to fit in I let them.

It was the longest conversation I ever had and my mind was about to explode!

I guess the next thing I have to learn when becoming a woman is patience when listening and having something to talk about.

[Phyliss]

Sort of.

a long time ago, that would be my second time in a beauty salon, I was getting a makeover. the women were talking about their husbands and thought I was gay. so to fit in I let them.


I can relate to that.
I wouldn't say that I've "pretended" to be gay, but I didn't do or say anything to change people's opinion at the time. At the time it kinda made for a "safe" cover.
As for being in a conversation with a group of women, when "they" think your "gay" ,....it sorta helps, "they" think your "harmless" and therefore what ever they happen to say is OK.

Now, have I ever "pretended" to be "gay" to gain access to a particular private establishment? Not gonna say :heehee:

[karynspanties]

NO...why would I? I am not gay. I have found that alot of gay men discriminate against crossdressers. In my neck of the woods anyway. They want men that look like men, not men that look like women. I am me and I would never act a certain way "just to fit in". I left that "click" crap in high school. :2c:

[Tree GG]

I have danced w/ Darlene in public, kissed "her" in public (just a peck) and gone to lesbian bar together & chatted w/ other patrons.

Does that mean I've "pretended" to be lesbian?

Regardless, I do think it's rather inconsiderate of me. I'm using their "safe place" as our safe place for something entirely different. Seems a little disrespectful to the gay community, IMO, to assume they relate and wish to include the TG community in their "safe places". I'm always uncomfortable when I feel I've used or taken advantage of someone's space without their invitation or permission.

[Emily Ann Brown]

I love it Tree....I have necked with my GF as Em also.

Back to the question....NOPE, never "had to" to fit in. I've always been accepted as another person in the club.


Emily Ann

[Tasha T]

I once pretended to be gay to try and rent a room from a lesbian couple. I didn't get the room so I don't think they bought it.

As far as bars go, I've been to gay bars a few times and never felt comfortable. It's just not where I belong.

[Kate Simmons]

Not really but I have been "guilty" of pretending to be a "woman" to fit in. What I mean by that is that when I first went public and started going to support group meetings, I tried to act like most of the rest of them in trying to project a false female image like a lot do. Like trying to walk and talk like a woman and trying to make people think I was one. It came to me one night, "Get real" because that wasn't me. I eventually left the group and went on my own. Now I'm totally myself and have been accepted as that and am a lot happier. The lesson I learned was just to be myself and not someone or something I'm not. It was actually hindering my development as a person doing things the other way.:happy:

[Dixie]

I have only had to be me, and be respectful of others I love to go to gay bars, it is a no pressure place to drink/play pool/ and dress like a girl.:drink:

[Gisele]

Not one time.

Now my Jenn has too when she is out with me. We are just a couple of lesbians.:hugs: (well at least I am)LOL

[serinalynn]

Nope not once and I am NOT Gay and do not go to Gay Bars! I should not even respond to this topic. Enough Said!!!!!!!

[chrissietoo]

I've never pretended to be gay. I have some gay friends (through a Buddhist group) who didn't know quite what to make of me. We had a mutual gg friend who returned from Europe with absolutely beautiful clothes. As they were admiring her, I fell right into it. She's the one who noticed it and "outed" me. "Jim, I think you wish you were wearing these yourself!" I fessed up, and I've been to private parties with my gay friends, en femme.

Our office manager is a tomboy lesbian, and it took her a week on the job to sniff me out as a girl, and another six months before she invited me to her house--with the instructions to dress like a girl. http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/images/smilies/Love.gif
:love: I've had great times with her ever since.

xoxo chrissie

[Kristen Kelly]

I have been out in my male mode to the same gay bars I go to when dressed and as I do not pretend to be gay, I do act like myself which is an emfemine male. I have had so much fun seeing how differently I was treated depending how I was dressed and the reaction from those who knew me only when dressed. The biggest difference was just how many gay guys would approach me in male mode compared to when I was dressed.

[samantha78]

I never had to due to the fact that I am (just found out) that I am bisexual! There for never had to fit in to the gay community! I openly accept all walks of life I have a gay uncle! whom I love to death lol