Crossdresser to TS

[donnafl31]

Thats the stage i am at now. I been crossdressing for now more than 5yrs. Very recently i went out dressed and that a new sensation for me. I am always interested in men. But i don't think am a gay. I like to be treated as a female. So am a transsexual?

[AmberTG]

Gender and sexual preference are two seperate issues.Being a cross-dresser and being attracted to men does not make you a transsexual. The question is, in your head, in your heart, are you a woman or a man? That is gender. If you have a male body but you feel that you are female, or at least somewhat female on the inside, then, yes, you are transgendered.
I dont use the word "transsexual" I don't think it's an accurate description for gender, it's a better way to describe the physical changes from SRS.

[MarinaTwelve200]

Forget about the clothes. Being intrested in MEN is what "Gay" is all about. Why don't you think you are gay?

[Shelly Preston]

I dont think from what you have said that you are transexual

If you were you would be screaming you were born in the wrong body

You may however be Bisexual

Only you can really know that

I disagree that being interesed in men is what gay is all about

Gay is just one part of sexuality
(would you tell a GG she is gay for being interested in men I dont think so )

[Kieron Andrew]

gender and sexual peferences are totally separate....if you are interested in men then yes id say you are a gay CD, if you are interested in both men and women then you are a bisexual CD, it doesnt mean you feel you ARE a woman i.e TS

[livy_m_b]

Do you want to be a woman with the man? or a crossdressing man with the man? Or just a man with the man?

I don't like simple answers, probably because I am so confused myself. I would say that whether you like men or women is just one aspect of your total gender and sexual orientation identity. Take your time, it will come to you in due course. Since imo much of the drama of the condition takes place on a pre- or un-conscious level, it's not surprising that we sometimes have to figure out what we are by the way we react to situations and not simply by thinking about things.

[melissaK]

. . . But really, no one can diagnose you based on
a few sentences posted to an internet forum.

But forgive us for doing so anyway! :heehee:

I did like kehleyr's comments though on what being TS is about. I knew long ago I should've been a girl. Lots of denial/repression about it, but that just truth just never changed or went away.

And, FWIW, I like other girls. Never had any interest in men that way. And as for being borm in the wrong body, it hasn't been like that for me either. I have an odd relationship with my body, i.e., wondering who the guy in the mirror is (seriously, I don't recognize him - it's a topic in counselling), but I haven't ever wanted to disown my body. I was pretty content with it for a few years in the late 70's when I grew my hair long and wore girl t's and jeans under the guise of being a hipppie. And still, I liked girls in that "Shack Outside La Grange" sort of way. And of course I favor lesbian girls. So where does that put me?

To date myself more than just with the ZZ Top reference, like Cat Stevens once sang: "There's a million ways to be, you know that there are, you know that there are."

Hugs,
'lissa

[hunny67]

If you crossdress to like the feel of womans clothing then you are a CD, if you crossdress & like/fancy men & not GG,s then sorry but you are gay.

[AmberTG]

You have to understand that it's OK to be gay. Being gay is no more a choice then being transgendered is. You just are what you are.
As far as the TG question, do you want to be a girl all the time or only when you're with a man. Your answer will lie in the response to this question.

[Kimberley]

TS? Let me put it this way. If you have to ask then you arent. Every TS "JUST KNOWS". There is no questioning of the core gender. How they/we deal with it is another story altogether. Like Kehley said, the concept of "being in the wrong body" doesnt seem to fit most of us although there are anecdotal accounts of such claims. Personally I view these claims with a raised eyebrow.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[loriannetucson]

I think the prevailing theme for me is this: Do not allow anyone to decide who you are. You may be unsure of this yourself, but no therapist, friend, family member, or other TG/CD/TS person can label you. I am certain if you look within yourself, you will find out exactly who you are. A therapist really helped me accept myself, and that was the first step to wards transition in me.

I hope you find the answers you're looking for.

Lori Anne

[SarahAnn]

I I am certain if you look within yourself, you will find out exactly who you are. A therapist really helped me accept myself, and that was the first step to wards transition in me.

I hope you find the answers you're looking for.

Lori Anne

It was the same for me acceptance of myself. Sexual preferances and gender are two seperate issues but confusing to deal with especially if you are struggling internally with such issues as trying to conform or fit in with society whilst letting your true self out and expressing itself.Time will tell as only you will know if you prefer one gender above another when it comes to sex....by doing and trying will certainly help you know more and claer some of the confusion ...experiment the answers will come.

As for some of the other posts I guess they must be from a different generation because many of the Girls I know in my age group have descibed the feeling of being in the wrong body....myself well its my body so I had to learn to live with it but untill its realigned and femanine I will not be fully comfortable with it. as for Sex its never been a big part of my life and currently isnt I love women but will wait to see what my real preferance is once I have completed a couple of years on hormones as a few girls I have known who used to be into women suddenly fancied guys and only wanted a guy after being on hormones.

Do not know if this will help you or confuse you more ? ultimatly its down to you no one can tell you just learn to accept yourself whatever your preferences are but be honest with what you feel and think with yourself, it will become clear over time no answers come just like that untill we are stripped bare of our social programming and allow our innerselves to reveal ourselves to ourselves. epiphanies are rare but can occour.

good luck.

Sarah.X

[Melissa Pink]

Thats the stage i am at now. I been crossdressing for now more than 5yrs. Very recently i went out dressed and that a new sensation for me. I am always interested in men. But i don't think am a gay. I like to be treated as a female. So am a transsexual?

Donna,
I think I understand your feelings. This may sound weird but when I was all guy I routinely had sex with guys and gg's and considered myself bisexual. While I enjoyed both sexual experiences I like the submissiveness of being someone's bottom, but always felt guilty after it was over. Now that I am living as a woman nearly full-time having sex with a male doesn't seem as awkward. Can you or anyone else relate to that? As stated in previous posts I have concluded I am a bit more than a crossdresser and not quite a transgender. I am interested in BA but certainly not SRS. For that matter can one really be genuinely transgender and not desire SRS?

Can anyone else relate to my feelings or offer some insight? Thanks!

[Toyah]

Sounds like you are gay or bi !

[Lady Angela]

Most of the beautiful feminine transexual women I know date men, or are married to their handsome masculine men.

The men they date or marry are hetreosexual men, and those men consider their transexual women to be women, because their transexual women have been feminized, and look, live, and act like women.

Most of the transexual women I know were femme gay men before they transtioned to female. Now they are hetrosexual women, just the transexual version of it, and they are with men, and those transexual women live, dress and act as ladies.

[Melissa Pink]

Most of the beautiful feminine transexual women I know date men, or are married to their handsome masculine men.

The men they date or marry are hetreosexual men, and those men consider their transexual women to be women, because their transexual women have been feminized, and look, live, and act like women.

Most of the transexual women I know were femme gay men "before they transtioned to female. Now they are hetrosexual women, just the transexual version of it, and they are with men, and those transexual women live, dress and act as ladies.

Lady Angela,
What about those of us that choose not to have GRS? Most "straight" guys I meet are intrigued by my status, but feel
understandably uneasy about going to bed with me. Most of my partners have been bisexual men, women or guys just adventurous and curious :heehee:. I live and act like a woman more and more everyday, but I cannot disregard the fact I am happily "all male" between my legs. Would be interested in your opinion and that of other girls in the same position. Thanks!

[Cara Allen]

I dont think from what you have said that you are transexual If you were you would be screaming you were born in the wrong body You may however be Bisexual Only you can really know that I disagree that being interesed in men is what gay is all about Gay is just one part of sexuality

(would you tell a GG she is gay for being interested in men I dont think so )

WEll, the rough definition of gay is being attracted to the same sex. If you lay the classic definition of trasssexual on top of that, that of feeling weird in your assigned body, then (s)he would not be TS, but would be gay. HOWEVER...

If you consider the more current thinking, that all of us sisters are really cut from the same cloth and the difference is degrees, then (s)he is not gay, but somewhere along the continuum between CD and TS. I tend to believe this... In either case, I don't think that her having to wear a label that she feels does not "fit" is proper or necessary. Gay is gay. she is, first and foremost, transgendered. This puts a whole different slant on it. A red Chevy is a red Chevy. It ain't a red Ford. 30 years ago, we'd all be fetishists, and we know that ain't it.

[Lady Angela]

If a transexual woman transitions from being a femme gay man to a transexual lady, as a result of female hormones, facial feminization surgery, breast implants, etc.., and she looks, acts, and dresses as a woman, and is considered a lady by others, than she is no longer a gay man, she is a hetreosexual transexual lady.

The beautiful, feminine transexual women I know that are with handsome masculine men, consider themselves hetreosexual transexual women (whether they are pre-op, or post-op), and their men consider themselves hetreosexual men, who are with transexual women, (who are just a different type of lady from a genetic lady).

[Cara Allen]

A transexual is a person who identifies with the opposite sex. It not just about wearing female clothing, A transexual wants to also change their body and live as the opposite gender. I really don't like to use tags like transexual but prefer to say, I am gender dysphoria. About being attached to men, you might be bi. Now if you were to go on hrt and have srs and your were attracked to men would that still make you bi or gay, I can't answer this. I will have to ask my therapist this.

A transsexual is not someone who identifies with the opposite sex. That used to be thought, but is not the case any longer. There are gay women, there are TS's who have different options, too.

[stacie]

Going from a crossdresser to a person who is TS is not about what sex you like. Crossdressers are happy with their body and have no desire to change it. If you are not happy with you body and want to change it, Then you are a lot more then a CD. If you are really confused there are alot of trained professionals who can help.
If you want to read my old post read the Quote before this post....

[kerrianna]

I totally disagree that someone who identifies as female inside and is attracted to men therefore is bi or gay. She would be bi or gay if she was also attracted to WOMEN.

Just because someone doesn't follow through on actually physically changing their gender doesn't mean they aren't what they feel inside. To me that's what counts. There are many reasons why people might not be willing or able to make actual changes to either their body or lifestyle, although if you do identify as the opposite gender you are going to find ways of expressing that - you have to.

donna, as to your original question(s), you may or may not be bi or gay you may or may not be TS and not discovered it yet. A lot of it is about definition of terms anyway and TS seems to be a pretty specific term used mainly to address people who feel the need to correct their gender. IMO it only matters having that label applied if you are trying to convince the medical profession and insurance companies that you need to change things. Otherwise why can't you just be who you are? The term Transgender is a broader describer (to the point that most CDers could be described as TG in some fashion) and doesn't carry the same weight as Transexual, which isn't a bad thing. If you're not TS why would you want to be? It's not an easy road for people.

As far as your sexuality, yeah if you still have all your male parts maybe some people are going to see you as male and say you're gay or bi, but again, who cares? Just be yourself. And if that is purely coming from a hetero female perspective in your mind, and hopefully in your lover's mind (a tricky challenge I would think but do-able with the right person) then consider yourself a hetero female. Just don't be surprised if others don't as long as you haven't made the physical changes. But it's what YOU know to be true which is important, especially if you can find a way to make it work for you.

Melissa, I think I know what you mean. The same above applies I'd say. What's in our heads and hearts may not be apparent to others as long as we're willing to keep the male bits. I don't think it necessarily means we identify as male, even sexually, although that is where some of our sexual pleasure is often centered. I think it kind of depends on how you view it and how you use it. Without undergoing GRS we are left with this as our primary pleasure area (well in most cases) so how do you handle that? Do you ignore it and cut yourself off because it seems like an admission of maleness? (and I don't think it nec. is - I've heard of male genitilia referred to with the female name and the point is that they are similar in some ways.)

My own thoughts about where I'm at is that I can see myself ONE way and I know the world sees me another. That is pretty frustrating and depressing sometimes, but in the end it's what I know to be true for myself that counts. (omg, I just typed a freudian slip there :p - corrected of course :blushing:) I would love to deal with it and get everything corrected so it wasn't an issue, but I'm in a place right now where there are other things going on in my life that I'm just trying to juggle all of this and hope things work out. Sometimes wanting and desire just leads us to frustration and despair and we need to see beyond what's in our faces all the time.

I don't know if I made any sense. Kind of babbling here hehe. :rolleyes:

[Lady Angela]

exactly,
If you are a transxeual woman and attracted to men, you are a hetrosexual t-lady. If you are a transexual woman attracted to women, you are a gay or bisexual t-lady.

[Pamela Julie]

Forget all the labels. Do what feels right for you!

PJ:happy: