Sexual desires changing, considering options

[JanineSoCal]

Hey Girls,

If I could get more than one or two responses to this post, I would really appreciate it. I am new to this forum and have posted a number of what I thought were fun, pertinent, or having broad interest, but got minimal responses. (I guess I should put out a post pertaining to what type of pantyhose you like best to get some responses.) Anyway, since I can be girlish and admit hurt feelings here, they were.

I am getting a transformation next week with pictures so you can know me better. I love this forum and relate to most of you well.

With that said, this question is one of sex, inner perceptions, and building desires. I have been in heterosexual relationships all my life and adore, almost worship women. There is nothing that comes close in the world I have seen to the grace and consuming glory of a beautiful woman. With that said, I have begun to desire to be the woman when dresses and experience the same things a woman does. At the same time, I can not say I am attracted to men. If I could find a gg to share cd with that enjoyed, accepted, and felt excitement over this during intimate exchanges, I think I would not even be considering a ******* or male for intimacy.

I am now divorced and did not let these desires fuel in my mind and take strong consideration. I think that eventually I will be with a male or *******, but my morality and consience would be severely affected.

Have any other heterosexual cd's, or those now having intimate relationships with males, tgirls, or cd's share the process they have gone through, inner strugges, and how to deal with guilty emotions. Any advice or opinions appreciated

Thanks, sorry for the long post.

XO,

Janine

[trinity24]

What do you base your morality on?

[jhnjks]

I almost did not reply because it is such a sincere request and needs someone who is more attuned to the mental side of the equation. First, I think that guilt is a natural feeling for anyone who has matured in this society. It should not be. We all fit into the spectrum of humanity. You should do what is right for you without regard to the community mores. Divorce is traumatic even when it is welcome, spend some time with your emotional side and try to find people that you can spend time with that share your interests, This forum is good for many things, but we are as diverse as society as a whole and sometimes this causes anyone to feel alienated. Please just enjoy the diversity. Thank you for sharing your feelings.

[DanaJ]

Hey Girls,

If I could get more than one or two responses to this post, I would really appreciate it. I am new to this forum and have posted a number of what I thought were fun, pertinent, or having broad interest, but got minimal responses. (I guess I should put out a post pertaining to what type of pantyhose you like best to get some responses.) Anyway, since I can be girlish and admit hurt feelings here, they were.

I am getting a transformation next week with pictures so you can know me better. I love this forum and relate to most of you well.

Janine, I don't mean to hijack your thread, but I wanted to address what you wrote above. When you say you posted a "number" of threads that got no responses, I took a look and only came up with:

1) your intro thread (9 replies)
2) a humorous CD story thread (only 1 reply)
3) female workout thread (18 replies - pretty good)
4) and this thread

So, in actuality, only one thread you posted got minimal replies. If I may offer a word of advice, give yourself time to get established and make yourself known here. We all started out as unknowns here, and many of our threads did not get noticed too. Well, unless (as you pointed out) they were about pantyhose or panties :D

Why not tell us of your upcoming transformation? Where are you getting it? CD transformation place or salon? What are you having done? Makeover? Nails? Wig styling?

DanaJ

[JanineSoCal]

Trinity,

I knew that question would come up, and thank you for having me think through this again. Heavily influencing my morality is inner morality sensed from childhood, Judeo-Christian values assimilated from American culture, and personal spiritual/religious beliefs sought as an adult.

I have learned to give myself grace in terms of my sexual identity and practices not mainstream or condemned by most. Be open to changing rigidly held concepts that are judgemental, self-condemning, or non-productive.

Anyway, hope that answers your question.

Janine

[Julia Legs]

Well Janine,Your emotions are what's leading to your morality issues.If you feel strongly enough about something and it is a constant in your mind,your only recourse is to explore those thoughts and see what results.Your feelings for men women ******** whatever is a question that may forever go unanswered,unless you pursue a means of resolving them.There are many here who have shared the same feelins and thoughts as you have,Your not alone.We are all here because being here feels right.Many can offer advice,but you have to find your own answers,advice is always good to have,but the end result is what ever you choose to do to be happy. :)

[Chrissycd]

Funny, you'd think I'd have noticed by now that I share a brain w/ someone else, but I guess I'm just a ditz that way...
Janine, honey, there are many of us that feel EXACTLY like you do. I hope you can find an understanding lover, dear. It won't be any easier finding a good man than it is finding an understanding and supportive woman, though. We are an underappreciated breed, plain and simple.
I wish you luck and patience. We all need both.
Hugs,
Chrissy
ps - about the Guilt: corner it and beat it to a bloody pulp with a baseball bat. If it moves, beat it even harder still. It wields too much power over girls like us.

[JanineSoCal]

Thanks for pointing out my overstatement and encouraging patience in getting known in the community.

To answer your question about the transformation, I am getting it done at Lydias in the San Fernando Valley, north of Los Angeles. It is the full deal for $100: two hour make-up, wig styling, clothing, including shoes. The only things that need to be purchased or brought with you are intimates (bra, panties, hosiery). Breast forms available as well as manicure/pedicure at a nail salon next door. There are several cd-friendly hotels nearby to make a night of it. They try to achieve a look of what a gg of similar height, weight, and age would wear for stylish evening wear. The husband/wife owners will even go out on the town with you/your date to dinner and nightclub at ts/tv friendly places.

XO,

Janine

Sounds great doesn't it? I have been looking for a cd friend to go with me to sh

[trinity24]

Janine,

I don't know how helpful this will be, but I was born, and raised a catholic. I knew there was something 'wrong' with me since kindergarden, but didn't start to crossdress till I was around 10. I come from a very religious family, and for the longest time couldn't reconcile the two worlds I was living in. And then it hit me one day, and I realized how foolish the whole concept of religion is. I haven't been to church, since I was 16, and never intend to come back. I used to base my morality on the bible/church teachings, however one may want to call that - but that has changed. Look at the hate that religion spreads - hate that is based on totally irrational assumptions. Banning gay marriage, banning abortions, banning euthanasia, banning this, banning that - and I say the hell with it. There is only one morality guideline that is worth following in my opinion - live and let live - if what you do, doesn't hurt anyone else, then by all means, do it, if that's what you want. Why would god (if you believe in one - I don't), would create something, only to hate it? I'd say being a CD is not a curse, but a gift - a gift of open-mindedness - a gift of enlightement, as someone stated in another thread. Use that gift, and try to shake off those chains of religious/cultural indoctrination.

[JanineSoCal]

Trinity,

Good to hear from two "recovering Catholics", a self-ascribed term I have heard many times. I am addressing both posts due to there similar nature, but appreciate both replies individually. My morality does not come from Catholisism if that was what your first post was attempting to determine.
The replies seemed to speak to challenges of accepting ones crossdressing, and looking at it as a blessing, not a curse. That is no longer where my conflict or focus lies. I see the positive characters in me that make me who I am and directly related to inner expression fulfilled in dressing as a female.

I have managed to keep my spirituality beliefs in a higher power (the same Higher Power that many others in our forum have faith in) and accept crossdressing as part of who I am. It took a while and I have purged enough clothes over the years to fill a Victorias Secret store. The conflict is related instead to strong desires to experience female expression during intimacy while dressed as a female. That conflict is unresolved. In a light-hearted expression of what is sounding probably pretty serious (not fully intended) I am hoping to hear from the girls that would say "lighten up, girlfriend, find a stud, and enjoy it" and then those of a more serious tone and similar mind (as with one post already) that points out how to work through the issue and find acceptance.

Next post not so serious, I promise: it will be something like "do you think a c-cup or d cup breast forms fit my body better, pics included"

XO,

Janine

[Holly]

Jamie,

Sometimes the answers are not obvious... and sometimes they have to be hunted down. Very few of us have not grappled with the questions now running through your mind. I have often wondered what it would be like to exchange bodies with a GG so that I could experience "life from the other side." I also share your appreciation of the female of the species. The shapes, the scents, the textures, all so sensual and alluring. I find it a no brainer that we are drawn to want to experience all that we can. But for me, the female psyche is every bit as, if not more, sexy that the form itself. The grace with which a woman carries herself, the confidence with which she conducts herself, I find these things irresistively attractive.

I wish you well in your quest for answers. I'm confident that as you seek, you will find what it is your heart is truly after.

P.S. Hope your makeover is a blast!

[trinity24]

I am having trouble figuring out what exactly is the source of your conflict. Perhaps it's because for me crossdressing is a 100% fetish based. I love/worship women, but have no desire to become one myself, even through proxy. What exactly is making you feel guilty? If there's no religious superstition holding you back, then what is it?

[DonnaT]

Have any other heterosexual cd's, or those now having intimate relationships with males, tgirls, or cd's share the process they have gone through, inner strugges, and how to deal with guilty emotions. Any advice or opinions appreciated


Although you directed your remarks and question to a limited number of girls, and I've not been there, I would like to make an observation.

You said
I think that eventually I will be with a male or *******, but my morality and consience would be severely affected.

It is best if you just let things happen as they happen. If you feel an attraction for someone then let it happen. Just don't force yourself to make it happen. That is not a good way to begin a relationship with men or women.

[Tonia]

Hey Girls,

If I could get more than one or two responses to this post, I would really appreciate it. I am new to this forum and have posted a number of what I thought were fun, pertinent, or having broad interest, but got minimal responses. (I guess I should put out a post pertaining to what type of pantyhose you like best to get some responses.) Anyway, since I can be girlish and admit hurt feelings here, they were.

I am getting a transformation next week with pictures so you can know me better. I love this forum and relate to most of you well.

With that said, this question is one of sex, inner perceptions, and building desires. I have been in heterosexual relationships all my life and adore, almost worship women. There is nothing that comes close in the world I have seen to the grace and consuming glory of a beautiful woman. With that said, I have begun to desire to be the woman when dresses and experience the same things a woman does. At the same time, I can not say I am attracted to men. If I could find a gg to share cd with that enjoyed, accepted, and felt excitement over this during intimate exchanges, I think I would not even be considering a ******* or male for intimacy.

I am now divorced and did not let these desires fuel in my mind and take strong consideration. I think that eventually I will be with a male or *******, but my morality and consience would be severely affected.

Have any other heterosexual cd's, or those now having intimate relationships with males, tgirls, or cd's share the process they have gone through, inner strugges, and how to deal with guilty emotions. Any advice or opinions appreciated

Thanks, sorry for the long post.

XO,

Janine
Hello Janine
If you truly want to be Happy be the Person you want to be if you are attracted to some one Who cares who the person is it’s what you want in life. That’s the problem with people in general today they put too much emphases on people’s lively hood.
Tonia:)

[Sharon]

Sexual inclination and desires are not necessarily static for the entirety of our lives. They can evolve from the limitations we place on ourselves due to our inbred prejudices and lack of knowledge. We aren't overtly prejudiced against alternative lifestyles (we ARE crossdressers after all!), but these negative thoughts are pounded into our heads since childhood; our parents, the media, religious preachers, and so forth, tell us that there is one proper lifestyle and one only.

There is one consideration we should contemplate, however: when we have thoughts of deviation (of any type) -- sometimes fantasies are just fantasies. They're not necessarily reality, how we would act in the real world beyond our imaginations.
Many of us belong to churches that would condemn us for our lifestyles. I find it intriguing that we can rationalize what we do in disregard of what is church doctrine, yet we still have moral questions about bi- or homosexuality. I'm not saying that there is hypocracy in what some of us say and practice, but I find it all very inconsistent in the least.

Questions..., all these damn questions..., and so few answers.

[Carrah]

Well, Carrah chiming in here. I can see y'all hanging your heads now :)

First, you say you love and worship women. What this means is that you have a desire to know all there is to know about them. Well, guess what - you're not alone with respect to that; I'm this way too.

Having said that, it makes perfect sense to me that you would have a strong desire to experience what a woman experiences while having sexual relations with you. This logically requires that you seek out and have a sexual relationship of your own with another male. I have the same desire. To know more of what a woman experiences, you must experience this for yourself; it is the only way. You can call up and ask what the temperature outside is, or you can walk outside and see for yourself; which would you prefer and trust more?

With respect to your religious concerns, you must take time out to fully evaluate the earlier writings; writings of a time when human extinction was a very real possibility and in my most humble opinion, was the primary concern. In fact, science has most recently discovered, based upon new findings with respect to DNA, that indeed mankind nearly had become extinct.

While there is certainly much more to it and the proof is in fact in the writings, dependant upon your interpretation of those writings, it is said that man shall not lie with thy brother. Interesting, though, don't you think that there was never any mention of women lying with women? It would seem that the primary concern during this most critical time was with respect to the survival of the species, not with any moral character issues. It would seem that the primary directive was to secure the seed of man and nothing more. All of the writings, when put into perspective, were with concern for the preservation of mans seed. All of the earlier writings were nothing more than a survival manual; what to eat, what not to eat, what tracks to look for in the sand, what to do, what not to do, and so on.

Two entire cities were said to have been destroyed for the purpose of preventing the spread of man lying with his brother, which in fact would have severely slowed the growth of mankind if not directly caused mankind’s extinction, were the practice to have spread too far. However, and this is the important truth; there is no longer the threat of extinction due to a loss or misuse of mans seed. In fact, the world is looking at ways to actually slow global population growth. Among the various possibilities are birth control, abortion, and homosexuality; all of which have either been implemented or at least promoted. This is why I believe that all the promotional efforts with respect to homosexuality are a big lie; it is being promoted purely to offer some level of control over global population growth - period. Still, it has to be promoted in such a way that everyone doesn't jump on board.

You are seeker of knowledge, as am I. This does not make us morally flawed in any way. We are likely not considering homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle and we should therefore certainly not consider ourselves morally bankrupt. We are not violating our religious views because when put into perspective, the purpose of those writings can be said not to apply to modern times. This is not to say that none of those writings should apply, but it would be foolish to believe that the same rules that applied then apply to us all now, 1000's of years later. Things change.

This post will likely open the door for a great deal of debate. Before doing so, keep in mind that it is really hard to establish one's theories in such a forum. There is so much to think about and consider with respect to the earlier writings; Eve comes from Adam's rib. We now know this to be cloning. Metal winged birds - could these be the birds that destroyed the two cities of Sodom and Gomorrah? The Virgin Mary - artificial insemination? Was this planet colonized by an advanced race? Will we not leave a similar set of structured rules behind when we eventually colonize a new planet? Rules based upon present knowledge of man? The early writings state that, "it shall be on earth as it is in heaven." Now, how do you suppose they would know this? This is to suggest that we will eventually arrive at a comparative level of knowledge and technology as those who perhaps colonized this planet. We will eventually colonize another world; this is mankind's destiny. Why would we believe this hasn't already occured here? There are so many unanswered questions...

[Di]

Hi...Just wanted to say have a blast getting your makeover,,,,enjoy.....And to your other questions...i,m not qualified to give a answer....Best wishes

[Nikki A.]

Very deep and thought provoking post and answers. As I see it there is no need for guilt in that what you are doing is fulfilling a part of who you are. In as far as who you will be with in the future is also fate and where you end up in this continum that we call life. If you believe in a higher power, maybe you are just following the path that he has laid out for you.
All I can offer are these few words and my hope that whatever you and everyone on this forum finds a peace and contentment in their lives.
Because many of us have to hide this part of ourselves from the world and even our loved ones I know that it leaves a certain sadness in my soul. This is the only place that I can trully speak from the heart about what I feel so if I blather on I apologize. Hope I helped ;)

[donnie123abc1]

I'll be looking for the panty hose question. I like the sheer energy control top myself.
Answer to the question: Stay with a good woman. The sex is better if you're both on the same level. Each looking to satisfy the other. Touching and holding each other. That kind of closeness is more erotic than the actual penis thingy. Forget the penis you don't need it. Its a control thingy. Nobody wants to be controlled. (But then again maybe they do for fun.)

But again the choice is yours. Each has its perils and its benifits. Choose wisely.


Dawn Marrie (Thats Who I Be !)

Confusing aren't I?