View Full Version : Guten Tag! Questions about voice and coming out!

03-15-2005, 12:08 AM
Guten Tag! (My norm greeting I use offline)
Kinda new here. Been here 2 days now. (Officially registered today)
Anyways, im not really sure what to say now -_-;
Anyways, I think this forum is great! Accidentally stumbled upon while looking for terms for people who crossdress to 'become' the opposite sex.
I actually had a question... but i've forgotten... hmm...
Maybe i'll say something about myself? *thinks to self*

Little Bio (skip to next paragraph if you don't care)

Im an FTM CD, and have been ever since starting elementary school. Parents still think Im going to 'grow out of it' but I highly doubt it. My style ranges from classy military, punkish (don't like punk music tho), goth, to bum. I'd like to add a somewhat clean-cut yet casual style to the list by the following school year (only if I get a job).
Im 1/2 asian, 1/2 americano. Im currently 5'5 1/2 but hoping to get taller so I can blend in w/ the male crowd more.
My dream (one out of many): is to turn into a pretty gay boi. ><
Also plan to get a full breast reduction later in life. (Can't wait to swim w/o my shirt on!!)

Oh! Now I remember the question!::
Has anyone had trouble coming out to their parents about having gender identity disorder? Im having troubles with planning this out and carrying it out w/o getting destroyed in the process by overly upset, non-understanding parents. (Their strict christians, hates gays and crossdressers. I still get in trouble for crossdressing even after all these years!!)

Also, I want a deeper voice, but obtaining it is very difficult, seeing how I can't lower my voice any lower than it is and it's somewhere in the middle. Between high and low. I know T can do the trick, but you also get the hair, acne, and what not and sometimes bad side-effects. Does anyone know of voice box surgery for girls? I know they have it for men, but what about girls? Getting a lower voice is something I've always wanted my entire life.

Anyways, thanks for any help!!!

03-15-2005, 07:39 PM
Guten abend

Hmmmmm interesting. A pretty gay boi? That's what I want too.

As far as coming out I don't really have any advice other than to just do it, and don't wait for years before you do. My parents are really accepting of me being a transvestite (I'm only 18) but had a hard time understanding it. Basically they just need to know that this is an important thing to you and it's not something you can control or change. If they love you they'll learn to accept you, although it might take some time.

You need to be really comfortable with yourself though. Make sure you've really thought out exactly who you are and can clearly explain it. Parents are more likely to react well if you say "look, I'm transgender and I've sorted this out. It's not causing me any problems and I can deal with it." If you say "I'm tg and I need help-- I have a problem with it" they're going to have problems.

You need to be very sure of yourself before you come out. But do it fairly soon. I'd suggest a little while after you turn 18-- that way they can't really force you not to crossdress lol

As far as the voice being deeper-- I would love for mine to be a bit deeper but your voice will only go so deep. I'm not sure about any surgeries available for us ftms. Haven't looked into it. But there are exercises you can do. Just practise talking deeper and if you're a singer I suggest you sing songs that are a bit too low for you, until you can sing them. I used a lot of David Bowie and Billy Joel. You just have to find what works for you. It's trial and error.

03-15-2005, 10:53 PM
Thanks for the advice. ^^
I've been trying lately to deepen my voice by singing to songs that are too low for me (and it's uncomfortable -_-;). Hopefully it works for me!

As for coming out, I probably will on my graduation day. They probably wont be surprised, but they'll probably have a hard time accepting it. Knowing them, lots of yelling will insue... as usual ^^;

I looked into the whole surgery thing for ftms. I couldn't find squat on it! Very disappointing!

Anyways, thanks!

03-16-2005, 01:02 AM
My dad questioned me a lot in high school about being gay. I denied it and denied it, because well....I'm not gay. I'm a dude that digs gals...only problem is that I'm a dude trapped in a gal's body. My father still doesn't understand me, but he's become very accepting of me over the years. Took awhile, but we are now on very good speaking terms and he doesn't refer to me as a female anymore. I agree with Eddie. Come out and give them time to soak it all in. It'll be stressing at first...especially with them being strict christians. When I deal with my overly christian sister, I remind her that only God can judge me. I know you know better than to sell yourself short and abide to how they want you to live your life. You've got to put your own happiness first. Live life for you.

As for the voice, singing definitely helped me with deepening my voice. I think I've gotten my voice down pretty low. I think what also helps me is that fact that I use my deep voice 24/7. I've gotten use to talking the way I do.

03-17-2005, 01:47 AM
Funny. Just yesterday, my mom was yelling at me for losing my drivers license. She started yelling at me about carrying a purse and to stop carrying a wallet around like a guy. Allow me to quote her: "Stop carrying your wallet around! You're not a man!!"
I wanted to laugh, but I just kept quiet, knowing full well that arguing would just worsen the situation. -_-; *sigh* If only she knew how I really felt. Hearing that has caused me to make up my mind that she would probably be the last to know. Im pretty sure my father will take it in more open mindedly, but it'll still be hard for him. I told him I was going all out during my senior year as a guy. He doesn't believe me. Doesn't believe that I can pull it off. Well, if I get a job during the summer and for the rest of the year, hells yeah im gonna pull it off! Makes me excited thinking about my new hair cut. ^^;
Thinking about bleaching it and (if it's possible) have the tips a deeper gold color and fade into the bleached part. My father'll kill me. Yay! (I've never had it that short before.) Got the idea after drawing my own cartoon/anime character.

Anyways, how long did it take you to get where you are with your voice? I've started a few days ago on deepening it. Hopefully it'll be a bit deeper by the time school starts again. I already have the monotone voice going. Have my entire life without realizing it. It's just not deep enough. ^^;

03-17-2005, 02:33 AM
A lot has to do with training your vocal cords. What I read on another website (devoted to MtF CD) suggested singing along with a band you like. The same would work if you'd like to drop your vocal levels, I would expect.

Hell, if Danny Filth can hit the low notes as well as high, any of you can. :)

Best of luck with your journey!


03-17-2005, 03:50 AM
haha holy shit. poor guy...seriously. i know gals that carry wallets and they aren't trying to be male. i've carried a wallet since middle school. the cool ones with the chain mainly, but i've used those silly ass velcro ones with dumb sayings on the front. the 80's looking ones haha. your mom sounds super conservative and old fashioned. my dad used to be that way. well he can say things on occassion and try and quote the bible...but i laugh at him a lot and call him gay so he doesn't even bother with me anymore. i hope you can go all out and that your haircut works out for you.

i'm not sure how long it took me to get my voice down. but i was definitely being called sir when I went out to stores and places while in high school. i think over the years, i've gotten it down deeper. just keep practicing with music. i think once you get out of your home, you'll be able to get it down more cause you'll be able to use your voice 24/7. being that we aren't that far away from each other and if you continue doing what you are doing, i'm sure i'll help you out in the near future with the voice and passing as a male thing. but definitely..good luck

03-18-2005, 08:49 PM
Wie geht's dir? :D
I'm late. But, welcome!

Assuming you have some Asian background, do you feel pressured because of that aspect as well? I know I'm weak-kneed around my grandmother, and is somewhat saddened that I have to put my parents through stuff. And it's not even anything significant, since I'm just a CD, unlike the guys here.

Take care.

03-18-2005, 09:49 PM
Well, yes. I do feel pressured a little because of that, but not much. (Since the only korean relative's I know of are: My very very very distant cousin (she's the same age as me, but she doesn't care about what I do. lol). My two aunts, whom I never really visit or see. And my mum.

Other than that, that's all I know. My other aunts (from my old mans side) are traveling around the US somewhere, doing dope and being *****s (cuz that's their occupation half of the time literally). The only aunt that I know that is nice and pretty much supportive of what I do lives a bit aways from here and she's always busy with work. So I don't get to see her much.
Unfortunately, her brother isn't as open minded as she is. *sigh*

Im pretty sure my old man will cope with it more easily than my mum, but it'll still be hard... oh, why weren't I just born male in the first place?!?!

03-18-2005, 11:39 PM
oh, why weren't I just born male in the first place?!?!

Hey, I know what you mean, mate. Life's hell, innut?

03-19-2005, 06:46 PM
Yeah, talk about it. Sometimes I wonder if I killed myself, would I be reborn as a guy? But, im not in a hurry to jump off a building. (lol)

03-29-2005, 02:35 PM
Have you ever seen Edge of Seventeen... it is a wonderful movie... I tend to be able to pull off the pretty boy faggish type... I can walk out of my house, dressed and I normally dress except that I have eyeliner on... if this is something you want to pull off, try to remember that men who wear makeup and aren't CDs or TG wear it thicker than a woman would... maybe later today I will put some makeup on and post it and show ya'll.

04-01-2005, 09:15 PM
Oh man, I'd love to be a pretty gay boi too XD I'm beginning to see a pattern here!

Oh and welcome to the board from a fellow n00b :)

Edit: Oh hang on, are you an anime fan aswell? Do you cosplay at all? I've been wondering wether to broach the subject of anime/manga crossplay on this board, but I don't know if anyone not into the fandom can really relate to it. I'm obsessed with it since it's the only time I dress like a male (character) and am actually recognised as such by other people :) I get such a massive high off of it since my normal dress is only seen as being tomboyish/lesbian.

04-02-2005, 12:04 AM
Oh man, I'd love to be a pretty gay boi too XD I'm beginning to see a pattern here!

Oh and welcome to the board from a fellow n00b :)

Edit: Oh hang on, are you an anime fan aswell? Do you cosplay at all? I've been wondering wether to broach the subject of anime/manga crossplay on this board, but I don't know if anyone not into the fandom can really relate to it. I'm obsessed with it since it's the only time I dress like a male (character) and am actually recognised as such by other people :) I get such a massive high off of it since my normal dress is only seen as being tomboyish/lesbian.

Yuppers. Anime fan all the way. Started with the old TV series, Robotech and Orguss. Sheesh, that was ages ago!!! (I was around 4 then. Guess that's what happens when your pops is into it!! Passing on the obsession.)
I've never cosplayed before, since I seem to believe that it destroys the 'holiness' of a character (unless it's done perfectly, all the way down to the smallest details). Plus, i've only been to one minicon and decided it was a waste of time and never bothered to attend one ever again. (But I was in my high school's anime club two years ago. ><)

Since im such a tomboy (and have been while watching anime), I started to obsess over the male characters. How they looked and acted, etc. Duo from Gundam was what basically made me want to be an anime character look-alike. Then... I discovered Gackt and Malice Mizer. Which just worsened the situation. Now I want to look like Gackt and Mana! (Not girly pretty like mana is, but a pretty guy ^^;)

But, I guess the closest I've gotten to anime like is wearing my 'nazi' coat. (People tell several things like I look like an anime character walking around or a nazi officer. Either that or a guy w/ long hair. lol. It's like my own 'massive high' >_<;)

04-02-2005, 11:45 AM
I obsess over the coolness and style of male characters.I always dislike the female ones since they always encompass all the very worst (in my opinion) traits of femininity, even though they are all stereotypes to a certain degree. And yeah, I'm quite a fan of Gackt now :) One of my friends said I had the same hair as him and when I checked I was pretty surprised! Made me feel better about my hair style though, I always felt it wasn't boyish enough but if Gackt can do it then so can I! :p

Edit: http://www.khmer.ws/user/photo/Gackt.jpg < Generally the style I have :) It's a good style. I originally centre parted my fringe/bangs but now I side part it to almost completely hide my right eye. I'll have to get some new pics of myself :eek:

04-03-2005, 03:54 PM
Gackt is a god... (to me at least ;) )
Yeah, your hair did sorta remind me of his (But not too much actually. More of my own characters lol)
Your hair looks similar to your avatar too. Im hoping to get mine to look like my own avatar. But I doubt Im going to get gold contacts. I might just look plain scary then. (Especially since im told by everyone that I have this natural glare... as if im pissed all the time, tho im not)

I used to draw female characters all the time, but since I've started to draw guys, I've basically forgotten how to draw them. Whoops.

I personally like to look at all of the hair styles Gackt has had in the past. They give me ideas for my own hair and color. And yes, if Gackt can do it, then so can you! lol. But then again, he's... kinda girly. (He's bi, I think. Several years back he went out with Mana o.o... thought that was kinda weird)

Im also aiming to have my hair drape over part of my face. I used to have it like that (several years back) but I also had long hair too and it was black. Im going for the bleach blonde short over the eye thing this time. (My parents are going to kill me!! They said they didn't want me to cut my hair short, but just wait. By the end of summer, I shall have it. After all, im a rebel. ^^; )

Ah, weird post. Subjects in it are all jumbled up. Sorry. lol.

04-03-2005, 06:44 PM
Yeah, go for it! Experimenting with hair styles and colours is fun :p

Mana is very pretty and feminine though, at least from what I've seen of the old Malice Mizer photos. It was a long time before I realised he was a guy! The hairstyle and outfits they've all worn collectively are just... wow! :D

04-04-2005, 12:41 AM
Yeah, the whole victorian thing goin on. I used to be obsessed with frock coats, etc. Unfortunately, I could never afford to buy authentic looking stuff, so I just had to shop around and put together what I could find, and even then it wasn't enough!

Took me a while to realize that mana was a guy too. lol. Even after I found out, I kept calling him a she and it took me a while to get it right. ><

04-25-2005, 10:25 PM
Um... hi. And no, you can't have my body because one, it's impossible to switch, and 2, im too lazy to do it.. ><; And another thing... this post is very old.

04-26-2005, 08:19 AM
And another thing... this post is very old.

That's rude... They just joined, way to make them feel welcome. :( :eek: