telling your SO

[Tiana]

just curious to know how long into your relationship/marriage was it before you told your so about your cding.
in my case it was when we started getting serious and talking about marriage.
also was there an event or situation that led you to tell and did you plan it or not?

[Marcie Sexton]

Shame on me, but we were married for 15 years before I actually came out...

I began to drop hints and ordered some shoes, to be delivered at home while I was at work to give her an inkling of whar was really going on with me...funny thing is after I did come out to her, she was actually relieved, she thought I had another woman...:heehee:

Then the shock of her dude lookin like a lady:rolleyes:...thank goodness our love was the glue to keep our relationship together:hugs:...seems like our relationship and love has actually strengthened since that day...Oh and one other thing too...

The view is so much better out side the closet than inside it...

[Jennilouise]

i told my SO about 4 to 5 weeks after i starting to see her. i would recomemd that you tell her sooner rather than later as she could find some of your clothing, it could cause a rift between yourslves. note of warning tho she my not be accepting try to sound her out first.

[newtothelife]

I told my SO after we had been married for several years . At that time I was not very serious about it, and we did not go far with it at that time . I have again came out to her just yesterday(after reading some of the posts here THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!). I had started dressing again and did not want her to find out any other way but from me. She took it very well. We shared a little bit last night. We agreed to take it slowly . I feel very lucky that she understands. She feels happy that I got my own dam clothes, and will stop wearing hers. LOL!! We have agreed to a few basic ground rules that we both can live with. I love my wife very much. and I can't see ever hiding such an important part of myself from her. The relief I have felt since we talked last night is great. The best part is she likes some of my clothes.

sorry to get long winded again. Whats a gurl suposed to do though. Sigh.

[CarolDonna]

I'm not sure how long I waited with my ex-wife; my best guess would be eight or nine years. It was a large part of what destroyed our marriage; me waiting to tell her more than me being a cd.

I may be faced with another decision shortly. Things seem to be getting serious with a gal I've been seeing steadily. When I tell her, it will be within months of meeting her, not years. My ex-wife recently gave me some good advice on how to tell my girlfriend about it. She said to just be open and honest and nonchalant; in the context of a discussion of things that turn on each other.

What led me to tell my ex-wife about my cding was the research I did on the Internet. Prior to that, I felt like I was a freak. After doing research on the web, I found out there were many others like myself out there. I also began to understand the importance of being honest about this sort of thing.

[KandisTX]

I told GlitterGG a day or two after we met, LONG before we had a "relationship" outside of Friendship.

Kandis:love:

[Davinnia]

I told my SO after 7 years. We'd messed around in bed with satin nighties,lipstick,stockings & heels. She thought it a bit odd, but I obviously loked a bit of kinky play,her calling me a pretty girl who should be wearing a dress worked wonders for me.
Something must have triggered my joining this forum a few months back but more recenly I thought my SO had come home early when I heard a car outside & I did I panic.
I hated that fearful feeling & my dishonesty & thought she probably had a good idea anyway.
Saying "I am a Crossdresser" was such a release. I couldn't go back from that moment.{just my little joke,Dear!}.I think not.
Just admitting it is so empowering.I gusee that's why alcoholics get up & say"I'm Blah,& I'm an alcoholic." NOT making any direct comparisons there.
Everything's fine,marriage intact,showed her photos,not dressing much at present {that's OK} still borrowing her clothes {have to work on that one} but feeling sooo much better about ME,but not in a selfish way as I'm also feeling so much better about our relationship, love my SO forever for her acceptance.
If you're reading this wondering whether to come out,it could be a disaster or one of the best moments of your life. There are loads of threads about coming out & Boy, did read them. They helped me get my feelings in order. I know which side of the closet door I prefer, the one I can step out of.

[susie evans]

i told my wife before i asked her to marry me that was thirty five years ago i think honesty is the best practice :hugs:

susie

[Ranae]

It was almost at the get go for me also....

But it was a little while after b4 we started telling the rest of the family...

Step-Kids that are grown is iffey on how to tell... Mine turned out ok but I have heard of some war stories on telling even their wives let along their kids.

I am super glad I did.

RC

[Raylene]

I wish I had told mine back years ago. I only told her a few years ago. We had been married 34 years at that time. She really handled it well. If I had it to do over, I would have tell her before we married. I think one of the reasons I didn't tell my wife then was because crossdressing wasn't a big part of my life.I dressed some, but it wasn't something I just had to do. I did it for enjoyment. Back in those days, dressing was really a bad thing in most people's minds,but after the internet came along, and we found out that crossdressing is not a bad thing, but a good thing, and there are thousands of us who love to dress, the urge got stronger. As I grew older and the urge grew stronger, I started thinking about it all the time. I decided it was best to tell her. I was hoping for the best, and I got it.I am really blesssed to have her.:love:
Raylene

[emmaf]

I was forced out after she caught me looking at a dodgy website. This was after 11 years of marraige last October. She was actually releived as she had suspected an affair from little clues I had inadvertently left around. Happy to say we are still together and our relationship is as strong as ever. She was a little hurt that I hadn't been able to tell her a lot earlier, but did say that she is glad that she didn't know before we married as she wanted the wedding day to be perfect - and it was.

[Sheri 4242]

in my case it was when we started getting serious and talking about marriage

Me, too, Tiana -- as soon as I saw that we were getting "marriage serious," I told her -- I think we had been dating about 8 weeks.


also was there an event or situation that led you to tell and did you plan it or not?

Yes, I planned it. The "event" was just that -- that I felt we were getting "marriage serious."

[Dixie]

My wife asked ME to dress up after our 4th or 5th date! I am a lucky gurl!!!!!!!!!!!:drink: